All Episodes - Criminally Clueless Podcast
Feel free to think of us as your new favorite True Crime talk show hosts!With zero years of legal or journalism experience we're here to bring you the most valuable opinions about criminal cases (and other topics of interest) that ABSOLUTELY nobody asked us for!And if that isn't enough to get you interested just come back to listen to our amazing accents.Whether you love to love us or love to hate us (which we doubt) just remember, we might be clueless, but that's not a crime.
View Podcast Details60 Episodes
Framed (Poopcident) & Quadruple (4)
We're confident that you won't see where our first story is going but also confident that you will be outraged on the victim's behalf. Shaunelle is up first this week and she takes us on a wild ride about a poor victim who found themselves on the receiving end of backlash and publicly embarassed in the pursuit of political agenda. Then Susana brings down the mood by telling us the horrible story of a family of 4 betrayed by someone they should've been able to trust. All of that annnnnnnnnddddd a UFO sighting *anytime we refer to "they" in this episode we are in fact refering to the visitors. Also, some extreme opinions were shared aboout lakes in this episode. To clarify Shaunelle loves being NEAR the lake but is terrified of the water. Go to @ www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources.
Are You Nervous? & A Few Clueless Criminals
This week's episode is a short one but impactful. Most notably, Susana and Shaunelle get into an epic argument about fandom. Susana (the Fast franchise stan) takes her interest in the truly unhinged and unbelieveable (any Fast movie after the second installment) and extended that to her true crime research by bringing us an unexpected case of abuse and grooming. Then, Shaunelle (the General Hospital advocate) brings some much needed jollies to a pretty disgusting episode. Go to @ www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources
The Facebook Rapist & Outsiders
Hellllloooooooooooo!!!! We know we're delinquent but people got the flu, people had birthday's, people had deadlines, people have struggled.......and in case you're wondering, people is Shaunelle. Anyway, Shaunelle, the rogue editor, is up first this week with a wild story of a horrible man who refused to do his time for crimes he gaslit himself into believing he didn't do. Then, Susana rounds off with a truly horrible story of siblings trying to survive growing up with ain't sh*t adults. Say what you want about the murders they committed, we believe their names should be added to the victim list. Check out our sources @ www.criminallyclueless.com
The Best Revenge & Rough Sex
Soooo that break took longer than expected. What can we say? It was tax season, people had teeth removed and other people got horribly sick. It's been a wild few weeks but we made it! Susana is up first with a truly amazing story of the life and trials of a woman named Kenya who was let down by her family and the system, then judged and discriminated against for her transgendered identity. This one, is one for the books! Then Shaunelle covers the case of an unusual death or rather an unusual murder defense to say the least. This case raised the question of "how big is too big?!" and Susana, for one, would like evidence to make her decision. Go to @ www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources
The Guest & Three-way
We're back on our b.s with an unexpected theme of overkill this week. First up, Shaunelle covers the case of what may be the worst mother in law in history....no seriously. It's one thing to comment on the casserole but it's another to commit murder. Then Susana follows that rollercoaster with the case of a friend. A best friend (if you believe the story) and the lengths this friend would go to secure the happiness of their bestie. With friends like these you should hide your enemies, for their safety of course. Go to @ www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources
The Fishing Episode (The Chicken Pox & The Taxi Lady)
We're late again but considering our podcast motto of "structureless structure" it's very on brand. Shaunelle went first this week with a case of a boldfaced heir who, it seems, was ready to take down anybody standing between him and his inheritance. Buckle up, because this case has a bit of everything including premeditated murder and a high seas rescue. Then Susana takes us to Amish country and gives us the tale of a man with 2 Barbs in his life. Unfortunately, one Barb was willing to commit murder to keep her "Amish Stud". No, we didn't make it up. Check out our sources @ www.criminallyclueless.com
Red Flags & Collateral
We've been delinquent, that's true but we've definitely missed you - A poem by Criminally Clueless. In keeping with our tradition of being consistently inconsistent, this week we debate which episode we're even on and if that doesn't set the tone for the season we don't know what will. First up, Susana brings us the tragic case of a woman who settled. That's right she could've done much better but she settled for the sake of those she loved and unfortunately this resulted in her being a victim of the ultimate act of revenge. Then, Shaunelle takes us all the way back to one of the worst aviation accidents in Canadian history. The convoluted tale behind the deaths of 23 passengers would have you questioning the lengths people would go to get what they want. **Please enjoy the calming sounds of Susana fighting for her life against some sniffles in the background of this episode. Unfortunately, it could not be edited out. Check out our sources @ www.criminallyclueless.com
Bad Luck (Bad Decisions) & System S*&t
We've been through it!!!!! But things are better and we are not only thriving but also happier. Disclaimer: Susana hysterically laughs in the first 5 secs of this episode. Adjust your audio accoridngly. Shaunelle is up first with a story of desperation honestly and the lengths people will go to be successful as well as to settle debts. Then Susana, takes us through a case that's about a topic we NEVER planned to cover (i.e. a mass shooting). With that said, her take on a deeply sensitive issue revealed that, in this case, the system was the biggest contributor to a horrible crime that could've been prevented. Go to @ www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources!
Maria Theresa x 2 & The Assassin
Listen up! this week we have our first ever guest appearance made by the legend, the G.O.A.T herself aka "Mummy". Birthday dick hat and all, the boss made a special appearance herself for what ultimately turned out to be Susana's "favorite episode ever!" First up, Susana graces us with the tale of two Maria Theresa's both ignorant to the others existence but only one of the Maria Theresa's gave up everything for the man she loved. Regret would lead to murder but the real question is, did she get away with it? or was it justified? Then Shaunelle brings us the most unforgettable, accidental clueless criminal, case of the season most notably because it centered around an attempt on the life of the then POTUS (and best POTUS in our opinion). And if you could believe it, it all started because of someone neeing a drink. Go figure! Check out our sources @www.criminallyclueless.com
The Stalker & Como La Flor
Big Big Big Disclaimer: If you, for one second, think that we have the musical chops to claim responsibility for any of Selena's music, then we not only strongly recommend that you see an ear specialist but we also recommend you run to the link in our sources to check out the real Selena! We in no way take credit for her songs or content. As per usual, we kick off the episode talking crap and being interrupted by the fine people of the protective services. We decided to push through and record anyway so consider the background audio as ambiance. Shaunelle's story is, at minimum, a cautionary tale against going out of your way to help others but in reality is a case about a woman who was sadistically stalked and kidnapped. The duration of her ordeal, the stalker's macabre source of entertainment and the insane way the crime scene was covered up is all unpacked. Then Susana brings us the case of Selena. The Selena. Honestly, there isn't much else for us to say here. She was epic, her songs were amazing and the world instantly became a sadder place the moment she and her talent were snuffed out by an obsessed "fan". With that said, Susana carries us through the life and death of a superstar and we hope we did her justice. Check out our sources @ www.criminallyclueless.com
Love? & Mo Money Mo Drama
DISCLAIMER: This episode is NOT over 2 hours long for some reason there's dead air at the end that can't seem to be edited out. What a wild episode we have in store for you today. If you'd like to know how Susana and Shaunelle would use mega billions in lottery winnings then pay attention during story#2. Full disclosure we haven't won the lottery (yet) but when we do, everything is on the table including a bridge to Pluto and a doomsday bunker. For our first story, Susana gives us her take on the infamous case of Gypsy Rose Blanchard, her complicated and horrible relationship with her mother and why one woman's obsession led to a young woman losing the best years of her life. Then Shaunelle covers the wild case of a family man who struck gold.....technically. He won the lottery. As a dedicated family man he spoiled those around him and made sure they never wanted for anything. Unfortunately, not everyone was a fan of the way he lived his life.....leading to a surprising murder plot. Check out our sources @ www.criminallyclueless.com
The Jamison Family & TBT Trick or Treat
Our overdue Halloween episode is finally here!!! Shaunelle has a wild story for you about the covid vaccine, her eye and insomnia to explain the delay but that won't be explained until the next episode. In today's episode Shaunelle delves into the truly disturbing case of the Jamison family after an October visit to a potential property for sale. Their suspicious disappearance polarized a town and the details of the case alongside wild speculations surrounding the findings are still debated to this day. Then Susana brings us a Halloween case about weaponized candy and the desperate (to be read: pathetic) attempts a man would be willing to take to absolve himself of responsibility. Go to @ www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources
March 2025 & A Few Clueless Criminals
Warning we kick off this week's episode laughing like a pack of hyenas so lower your volume. Susana kicks us off with the case of sadistic serial murderer and rapist, Shawn Grate, who was hiding in plain sight and brought down by a courageous woman in the worst of circumstances. His callousness and complete disregard for his victims made this case truly shocking. ***ps: there's a hot debate about the death penalty at the end of the episode. Then Shaunelle does charity by improving the mood of the episode with a few clueless criminals. If it's one thing we love, it's our clueless community and we hope you get a laugh out of these cuz we did. Go to @ www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources.
The Quadrangle (Square) & Only 12
We're back! Sorry for the unexpected intermission, Susana had a small family emergency (it's all good now) and our schedule didn't allow for proper editing. Annnnyyyyyywayyyyyyy, enough with the excuses, as a treat, we kicked off this episode with the long awaited apology from Shaunelle to.......everyone. Heads up, we have a longer than ususal episode for you and the content starts around the 20 min mark buttttttt, it's worth it because we have two interesting cases of deception for you. Shaunelle is up first with a case of a woman who was never satisfied; not with her first man, her second man, or the thought of not getting her third. Some would argue she was just a lover who wasn't blessed enough to find Mr right. Others would argue she wasn't right for anybody. The case of an intelligent woman who orchestrated a stupid cover-up awaits. Then Susana follows with her bread and butter aka horribly offensive cases about abuse of power and sexual assault. This case is worse than most because the abuser in question was a man of the cloth and it took wayyyyy too long for the Church and the authorities to end his reign of terror. Go to www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources.
Roraima & Secretly Salty
Chaos, thy name is this episode. We're going to go ahead and say this may be the most random episode we've ever recorded. Not only is it the Susana birthday episode but she basically had NO CASE and an epic Friends trivia battle ensued. If you're not into banter and you want to get technical our actual content, this week, starts around the 25 min mark and we guarantee after listening you will ask yourself "if this is what they left in, what the hell didn't make the cut?" and we'll never tell. Susana was in fine form this week and kicks off the episode talking about her birthday and her feelings about the lavish celebration thrown by her co-host Shaunelle. She then takes us through the speed date of criminal cases centered around a murdered beauty queen and promptly threw Shaunelle under the bus for yet another failed attempt at apologizing. Then, Shaunelle covers the murders of Seth Aidoo and Eunice Baah and how their sad tale likely involved the dark arts. We hope your take away from this case is that jealousy never wins in the end even if the guilty technically doesn't confess. Check out our sources @ www.criminallyclueless.com
Proof of Life & The Public Library
Season 3 is here !!!! Did you miss us? We missed you. We actually intended our S3 release for last week but alas we got drunk at the cottage and did our nails instead. We're not saying you aren't a priority but we are saying that sometimes what you really need is diy budget mojitos and an action movie to set things right. It should be noted that we kick off the episode discussing ways to scare the neighbours away....you know, typical Criminally Clueless antics. First up, Shaunelle brings us the truly terrifying case of Israel keyes and his abduction of Samantha Koenig. This case has been done time and time again likely due to the macabre nature of his crime however, Susana never heard it before so Shaunelle thought it fitting to kick off the season with what may have been one of the most prolific serial killers of all time. Then Susana hits us with the heartbreaking case of a young girl who was attacked while returning books to the public library. The scariest aspect of this case was the fact that her life changed in an instant at the hands of an unhinged criminal on the hunt for blood. Check out www.criminallyclueless.com for all our sources
Dumpster Divers & My Girl (Daz My Gyual)
It's our season finale! Can you believe it? We're sorry to spring this on you but, to be fair, it took us by surprise as well. In true Criminally Clueless Podcast fashion, we are ending the season with a bang....sort of. Shaunelle kicks the episode off by introducing Susana (and now you) to one of the most depraved terms she's ever learned. For sensitivity sake the actual definition of the term has been cut from the episode but Susana's response is enough to tell you NOT to look it up. If you do look it up, we're sorry. Feel free to leave an angry message in the comments. Susana's last case of the season involves a disturbing find in a local New Mexico dumpster and the contents of said dumpster would cast serious doubt on whether or not the young mother involved was acting out of fear and not malice. Then Shaunelle closes out the season with a case of two young lovers who met on the internet. Lies and betrayal tore them apart but it was revenge that would rip the mask off their romance and cost an innocent man his life. Please check out our sources at www.criminallyclueless.com
The Case of Two Els' & A Body Is A Body
This week we kick things off with a well intentioned, albeit misplaced, apology to the blind/visually impaired community of Trinidad and Tobago....They know Shaunelle is sorry and we'll leave it at that. This rough start also came along with a tale of a mysterious horse death, a racist chasing children with knives and bad parenting. If you think any of the aforementioned topics will piss you off, this may not be the episode for you. Shaunelle leads with her case of an adventurous Els Van Doren and her last skydiving attempt. What could've easily been a case of misfortune was soon unraveleled as a case of revenge.....or so the evidence suggested. Then Susana hits us with something that's not her usual style. Not to give anything away she uses the phrase "tasted her brains" so just know you may leave this episode with no appetite. Go to www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources.
5/12 & A Few Clueless Criminals
Beware, we re-recorded the lost episode from last week and had lots to unpack including 2 (yes, two) stories of road rage with drastically different endings. The actual content starts around the 22 min mark. With that said, Susana kicks us off with a tragic story of how a family was almost completely wiped out by a person who allowed their ego in the drivers seat. As if that wasn't enough it wouldn't really be a Susana case if you didn't leave absolutely gutted at the penalty, or lack thereof. Then Shaunelle swoops in to lighten the mood with a repeat of her clueless cases from last week. Luckily Susana still thought they were pretty entertaining and we hope you do too. Check out our sources @ www.criminallyclueless.com
Man-eater & Nasty Venezuelan's
To further Susana's education with English as a second language, in this episode she learns two new words: convoluted and cuckolded....as usual with us context is important. Up first, Shaunelle brings us the drama laden case of the murder of Howard Witkin. What's that saying? "too many cooks spoil the hit"? Then Susana gives us the case of a notorious serial rapist in Caracas Venezuela. The case is spanish but abuse of power is never lost in translation. Check out our sources @ www.criminallyclueless.com
Oh Canada! (The Scarborough Couple, The Friendzone & A Clueless Criminal)
Canada Eh?! If you're from here you know that we have a reputation for being...nice but the rogue few who choose to debunk that rep, take it to the next level. Case in point, Susana hits us with the notorious case of Paul Bernardo and his reign of terror in Ontario. We can all agree his crimes were heinous but it was the paricipation of his sidekick that really pissed people off. Then Shaunelle brings us what may be the ultimate whodunit. 3 people dead in a hotel, no suspects and only the scene as a witness. The only thing weirder than the crime scene was the actual crime. Then to decompress us all, cuz we need it after the trauma, she then brings us a case of a patriot and a criminal. Two words: Canadian Elsa. Enjoy! Check out our sources @ www.criminallyclueless.com
La Bruja & Teen-age (Not Teenagers)
As usual, lots going on around here. We have a Boni update, proof of why you may not be able to trust Uber Eats and we saw Chris Rock's stand-up (we don't talk about it in this episode but we just had to let you know). Shaunelle is up to bat first with a tale of a Malaysian witch named Mona Fandey. She was the originator of main character energy and wasn't going to let something small like murder stop her from being the star she was born to be. Then Susana follows with a story of a young woman who was In Love. A love to end all loves. She was in a bad situation and luckily she had a brave boyfriend who was prepared to do anything, and we mean anything, to save her. Go to www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources.
The Cheerleader & Big Lurch
We're going to go right ahead and tell you that you're not expecting the turn our second case takes. If you have a weak stomach, this is not the episode for you. Susana is up first this week with the case of a cheerleader. As a young girl dedicated to her sport of choice she would go to any length to ensure nothing jeopardized her ability to cheer. Nothing.....not even her own daughter. Then Shaunelle covers the case of a budding rapper who, due to a series of events, relied on drugs to manage his pain. Unfortunately, one really bad trip would land him in jail for the rest of his life. Check out our sources at www.criminallyclueless.com
The Wrestling Fan & Third Time Is Not The Charm
We're so sorry about last week. The flu tried to take out half the team (Shaunelle). 6 wasted hours at the ER and one round of antibiotics later and we're back! First up, Shaunelle covers the case of the eccentric John DuPont and Olympic super star David Schultz. John was obsessed with a sport he was forbidden to play and may have taken his frustrations and feelings of inadequacy out on an innocent victim. This case is short but not without it's surprises. Then, Susana brings us a story of a mother (shocking right?!) but this mother was unlike any other she's covered before because this mother may have turned a blind eye to one of the most heinous cases of abuse we've ever heard. You be the judge. Go to www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources.
The Uber Ride & The Roof
Annnnnnd we're back. Although Shaunelle is still under the weather we were able to churn out this masterpiece of an episode. Lots of drama in this one. Shaunelle is up first with a case of a young woman who was betrayed by her long term boyfriend. The set up and execution would shock a nation and although her boyfriend thought he would get away with murder it seems that ole adage "your friends will take you but won't bring you back" was true for for one friend caught in this scheme. Then Susana brings us a case of a woman who moved to be closer to her children and grandchildren. Unfortunately, since this is an episode of betrayal you should expect that this little old lady was hurt by someone she never expected. Check out our sources @ www.criminallyclueless.com
A Troubled Teen & If Gym Walls Could Talk
Heavy, heavy, heavy episode this week! Your hosts have once again stumbled into a bit of a theme both covering crimes involving teens. Susana captivates us first with the murder of Elizabeth Olten who was lured to her death by the least likely criminal mastermind. This case is eerie and we truly believe if the killer wasn't caught many more would've lost their lives. Then Shaunelle follows with the alarming case of Kendrick Johnson. His death was categorized as an accident but all of the evidence suggested otherwise. You listen for yourself and give us your take. Check out our sources @ www.criminallyclueless.com
The Pig Farm & It's Hard Being A Woman
Quality warning: for some reason the echo is back this week as well as a lot of background noise mostly brought to you by our butts on the recording chairs. Please forgive us. First up, Shaunelle brings us the infamous case of Susan Monica and her pig farm of horrors. Acres of horrors in fact, as Susan had a habit of offering people a fresh start but that start often came with a catch: you wouldn't escape the farm with your life. Then Susana follows with not one but two stories of women who were likely betrayed by the people around them. In one case we find out what happens when a "medical professional" plays roulette with a woman's reproductive health and in the other we're left wondering whether or not foul play was involved in the disappearance of a young woman on the streets of Mexico. Check out our sources at www.criminallyclueless.com
Melissa Lucio & The Interrogation
Today we bring you two cases which were critically affected by police interrogations. In one case, we're not sure if the police used their bad cop routine to force a false confession and in the other, the bad cop routine may have cost someone their quality of life. Susana is up first with the media heavy case of Melissa Lucio and the death of her daughter Mariah. We could all agree that Melissa wouldn't be winning mother of the year anytime soon but did that mean she killed her daughter? Then, Shaunelle covers the heartbreaking case of Ryan Waller who was interrogated by police for the murder of his girfriend Heather Quan. What seemed like a straightforward case of domestic violence was anything but and in the end it was clear the police wasted crucial time getting to the bottom of things. Go to www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources.
Believers & Chrystul Kizer
We cover heavy, somewhat political themes in this episode. You've been warned. First up, Shaunelle tackles conspiracy theories and unravels the disturbing and incredibly sad case of the Coleman family. As all these stories go, from the outside looking in you'd think they had everything but the twist in their fairytale came when they let obsession and conspiracy ruin any chances of that picture perfect life. Then Susana covers the case of Chrystul Kizer who faced similar challenges to the now infamously freed sex trafficking victim Cyntoia Brown. We usually like to let Lady Justice have her say first but given the details we're hoping Chrystul's case gets viewed with some fresh eyes. Check out our sources at www.criminallyclueless.com
The Nanny & A Collection of Clueless Criminals
Sorry for the delay on this one. We were the victims of a mini machine uprising this week when our computer seemed to have a life of it's own and decided to reject our audio. Luckily we learned from the IT Crowd that most issues could be solved by turning devices on and off again, so the audio was saved. Susana starts us off with a case of a horrible nanny and a case of the worst revenge in response to a workplace grievance. The Krims hired a recommended Nanny and welcomed her into their home and into their lives. Unfortunately, this family would be nearly destroyed at the hands of a disgruntled worker who they came to care for as one of their own. Then Shaunelle follows with a welcomed reprieve from Susana's story with a little birthday collection of Clueless Criminals. As always, we're the perfect balance of serious and silly and you won't want to miss it. Check out our sources on www.criminallyclueless.com
The Collector & Live TV
Heads up, we had a lot to ramble about so the cases start around the 21 min mark. We're back and we've outdone ourselves. We usually bring you wild cases but this week we're touching on a bunch of uncomfortable topics. In fact, it will probably take longer for Susana to recover from this than her surgery. Shaunelle is up first and without spoiling the details we'll say that this is a case about a man who carried out "illegal operations" and kept an unusual collection. Spoiler alert, he was not collecting stamps. Then Susana brings us a short story which has been told before regardless of location and time. It's a story of a man who couldn't take no for an answer and a woman who paid the ultimate price for his narcissism. And if that's not enough to keep you entertained, we also discussed a brand new business venture and give our two cents on the whole Oscars B.S because, why not ? Check out our sources on www.criminallyclueless.com
The F*#ked Up Friendship Episode
Trigger warning: One of our stories today focuses on suicide. If you, or someone you know struggles with thoughts of suicide please reach out to one of the resources available near you. If you're in the GTA please go to Distress Centres of Greater Toronto or https://www.dcogt.com for help. It finally happened and Susana presented a case Shaunelle knew better than she did ! Her case turned into more of a conversation about the tragedy of a teen friendship gone horribly wrong. This is NOT your regular teen angst. Dawson's Creek has nothing on the girls in this story. Then Shaunelle's case is a real doozy from start to finish. Grab yourself some tissues for the tears and a sound proof room for the yelling because this story will make you want to do both......repeatedly. Go to www.criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources
Overboard & Dr Oxy
Once again, without planning it, we stumbled upon a theme and today's episode is sort of the bad ex-husband episode of the season. In our first case, Shaunelle messes with Susana, and her vacation plans, by talking about a murder on the high seas. Micki Kanesaki was just trying to relax and rekindle the relationship she had with her ex Lonnie. But it seems Lonnie had other plans for the vacation and instead of romance Micki got murder. Then, Susana is up next with a case of a woman who loved to support veterans and loved her Corvettes. Unfortunately, she was also being duped by her husband into thinking he was someone he wasn't. This deceit didn't need to turn into much more but over-inflated egos, stolen valor, motorcycle gangs and an Oxy drug ring is a bad combination. Check out our sources on criminallyclueless.com
Crockpot & A Couple Clueless Criminals
We're late, we know but we're here and we plan to stay. We've had a rough start to the year so getting into a routine has been hard but we want to deliver and this week we're back with the B.S. Susana is up first with a case that's still in the works. The gruesome death of a young man at the hands of a seemingly mentally distressed woman has left us with an overwhelming amount of questions, particularly about the capacity of a crockpot. His mother's devastating find and the unusual answer given to the police has us shaking our heads in true disbelief. Then Shaunelle has 2 cases of people who've been categorized as criminals but may actually be Robin Hoods who didn't think through their choices. For more about us, our sources and the cases we cover check out @criminallyclueless.com !
The Work Wife & Nasty Policia
If you've worked in an office or encountered the police then you'll be interested in this week's episode. First up, Shaunelle has a case that will make you re-evaluate the way that you interact with your coworkers forever. Shirley Pierce was a true southern gem. Born in North Carolina and literally described as "sweet as a glass of tea" Shirley lived her life with grace and treated those around her with kindness. Unfortunately, one act of misplaced kindness was misinterpreted as an attempt to steal someone's husband. Despite her denial Shirley was stalked and ultimately murdered for her act of supposedly blatant disrespect. Then Susana tells us a tale of a woman who survived being brutalized only to find out her assailant was a monster who was allowed to get away with heinous acts for years leading up to her attack. She was lucky she lived to tell her story because one of his victims wasn't so lucky. Go to @criminallyclueless.com to check out our sources.
Heist 1969 & Three is a crowd
It felt like it took forever to get here but we're back for season 2!!!!! If you've seen our instagram post, we've had some pretty serious personal / family matters pop up and as a result this release is long overdue. However, it's here now and we're grateful for all the people who've stuck with us eagerly waiting for us to get our shit together. Loss is never easy but the show must go on as they say and ultimately we're happy to be back. Please note: the ever present echo, which we've likened to audio herpes, is back also and as usual we don't know what to do but we're rolling with it. Susana is up first with a non-murderous tale (surprise) of a man who followed through with a thought we've all had at one point or another. "What would happen if I just........" This man, not only followed through, but managed to evade police for over 30 years !!!!! Then Shaunelle, starts off the season the only way she can, with a case of a really shitty dad. This shitty dad has to be one of the worst we've ever come across because he held a title few (thankfully) have held before him ....... father-husband (no, that's not a typo). For more on the bullshit go to our website @www.criminallyclueless.com for our sources.
Re-release Mama Knows Best and A Few Clueless Criminals
Maybe it was the new mics and overall improved audio or maybe it was the fact that Susana was on a roll but whatever was in the air that day led to Shaunelle's pick for best episode of the season. If you're familiar with our podcast then you know ridiculously convoluted DRAMA is our bread and butter. We blame our West Indian & Latina roots. First up Susana goes through the harrowing case of Marisela Escobedo's quest for justice for her murdered daughter. The lies, the corruption, the psychological warfare weren't enough to keep her quiet and she paid the ultimate price for her daughter to never be forgotten. Then Shaunelle gives us the gift of 3 clueless criminal cases with increasing levels of stupidity and raised the ultimate question of p%$$y or prison? If it's your first time hearing this gem, you're welcome.
Re-release: Cellmates and A Clueless Criminal
This week, we're re-releasing Susana's pick for favourite episode. She references it all the time and it's a crowd favourite so get comfy and enjoy (PS: we don't recommend any snacks due to a potential choking hazard while laughing) Please remember, this is one of our earlier episodes so the audio is tragic, at best. Recap: Shane Goldsby and his sister were victims of abuse and Shane found himself trapped in a cell with a known offender. Whether or not karma played a role in the pairing is still up for debate but, needless to say, Shane loved his sister and would avenge her no matter the cost. Then we cover the case of the now infamous (to us) Jessica Booth and the extremely ridiculous lengths she would go to in an attempt to secure fame. Trust us, the story is worth it.
Gabriel Fernandez, Christmas Morning & Holiday Decor *Clueless Criminal
We made it!!!!! Not just to the end of our first season but to the bottom of two bottles of Trinidadian rum. As promised in our last episode, we had a shot anytime one of our ride or die interruptions piped up. We came into this fully expecting the elevator to be our greatest foe but alas!, twas Boni and her lumberjack snore that almost rendered us incoherent. Our heads were ready to bust open by the end of this and we've vowed to never do it again. First up, Susana takes us through the most heart wrenching case of child abuse we've ever heard of. If you know, you know and if you do know, bring the tissues because it never gets easier to hear what this baby had to go through in his short life. Susana ends her case with a little vigilante justice.....and nobody can find it in them to be torn up about it. As for Shaunelle, with her cases closing the episode (to be read: with her cases presented after she was 6 shots deep) a certain degree of slurred speech ought to be expected. With that said, she brings us the case of Za'zel Preston and what may amount to the worst Christmas morning ...ever. Then she closes off the season with a very short, but possibly wholesome story about bringing the Christmas spirit. It's a heavy one and unfortunately timed with our promise of inebriation. We want to clearly and boldly state that the moments of levity in no way mean we are poking fun at an incredibly dark case and serious issue. Also Susana disrespected us all by shaking her legs repeatedly at the end due to a leg cramp. Enjoy!!
Probation & Topdog
If you asked us what didn't interrupt us this week, we'd have a shorter explanation. Youn name it, we had it: door slams, elevator pings, ambulance sirens, crazy Pomeranian bedtime routines....all the B.S packed into one short episode. *Due to an appointment and no other time to record, we do our very best to corral our opinions but Susana is pissssssssed so you should expect a Venezuelan rant ...or five. Up first, with a truly angering recount of a case that screams (just SCREAMS) privilege !!!!!! Susana, delves into the disgusting case of Christopher Belter and the multiple rapes he perpetrated. We thought our disgust reached it's peak learning about the remorseless way in which he carried out his crimes, but it went thermonuclear when we found out he had enablers every step of the way. If you can believe it, it gets worse because that ole bitch, lady justice, swept in only to disappoint, as usual. Who's surprised?!....Not us!!! Then on a slightly lighter note, Shaunelle's case is all about romance....online romance, that is. When 19 year old Marissa Williams' relationship with her aunt turned sour she sought out the one person she could trust, her new online love. Her plans for retribution were unexpectedly foiled and Marissa was caught by the long arm of the law. Who sold her out ? and who the hell put a hit out on the family dog?! All will be unpacked in this crazy tale of family drama, betrayal and attempted dogicide.
Threesome & Baseball (Not at the same time) REMASTERED
We're back with the B.S this week! First of all our case titles may be misleading. So to manage your expectations we're going to go right ahead and say that there's absolutely no threesome / sex happening on a baseball field in this episode. We're sorry if that's disappointing. Shaunelle is up first this week with a story of misadventure in dating. When Heidi Carter decided to participate in a menage a trois she may have bitten off more than she could chew...especially since she wasn't exactly single at the time. The story disintegrates from there and we enter a confusing tale of drama, a possible set-up, rape, murder and the recurring theme of why oh why can't people have honest sex?! Then Susana does us all proud as she delves into the case made famous by the Netflix documentary Long Shot. Whatever you thought you knew throw it out the window. When Juan Catalan was hauled to jail for murder he repeatedly pleaded his innocence however police wouldn't believe him. After all, he was identified by several witnesses as the murderer. It seemed like Juan was headed straight to prison but fate had a home run in the cards. Click play / download to join us on a wild ass ride.
Put The Dys in Dysfunction
We're back with our bread and butter this week so on deck it's a heavy case of injustice and an unusual case of murder. Our episode is longer than usual due to some housekeeping. If you want to hit the content, it starts around the 23 min mark. First up, Susana brings us the worst case of child abuse and cruelty. After surviving brutal abuse herself as a child Louise got a fresh start with her husband David and together they had 13 beautiful children. By all accounts they should've had everything but in fact in side their home held a horrible secret of torture, starvation and filth. Then Shaunelle follows with a truly unusual case of murder in which Joan Porco survived a savage attack at her home only to awaken and discover that the person she identified as the killer was one of her own. It's a case of murder, mob ties, the wonders of the human mind and the capabilities of the human body under extreme duress. You may think your family is dysfunctional but they have nothing on the 2 families we're covering today
Honorable (Honourable) Scoundrels & Clue
This episode is the definition of DRAMA from beginning to end ...literally. It was a whole scene editing this episode. We don't know if we're dealing with a return of she who shall not be named but our podcast randomly came down with a case of staticitis. Unfortunately, we didn't detect this until it was too late. Honestly, we like the episode so much that we decided to go forward with it even though we know it's not perfect. You will hear static in the background during certain parts of the podcast (despite us applying noise reduction treatments etc). We recommend that during those moments of audio uncertainty (like static or softer tones) you shout "Angela Be Gone!" and soldier on with the content because Shaunelle has an epic case for you !!!! Trust us, it's worth it. Shaunelle's case is a doozy. Betrayal of the first order. Balenga Kalala migrated to Australia after losing his family to conflict in the Congo and thought he finally met the woman of his dreams and his opportunity to move on from his trauma. Unfortunately, his life with his new wife Noela Rukundo wasn't meant to be and he suddenly found himself a widower and single father of 3. The story of what happened to his wife and in our opinion The Funeral Of The Year is all unpacked in this episode. Then Susana follows up with the horrible case of murdered and raped 8 year old April Tinsley and the decades long search for her killer. The unbelievable story of how her killer was finally brought to justice left us with more questions than answers. Forgive us for the audio struggles in this episode however, our love for you is the reason we're releasing it. You deserve to hear this one!
The Tired Quinceañera
Welcome to the Criminally Clueless Podcast Quinceanera!!!!!!!!!!! If you were expecting fanfare, balloons and / or joy go ahead and chuck those expectations out the window because we are, as usual, exhausted while recording this week. Technical difficulties and personal drama contributed greatly to us doing another after dark episode....it goes without saying that we won't be held entirely responsible for anything said during this episode. The biggest shock of the week isn't the fact that we managed to kick off the epsiode without a litany of cuss words but rather the fact that this episode can be considered a diet or light version of our usual stuff. If you're still recovering from the mutilation in episode 14 then this is the palate cleanse you need. First, Susana brings us a story of the lengths one man would go through to secure something he had all along. He's certainly not a "murder you because you saw me eat poop" kind of crappy dad but he's up there. Then Shaunelle unravels a tangled web of deceit and revenge. Ask yourself what do a successful woman, armed robbery, a police informant and an illegal immigrant who was promised a lie, have in common? Coming up blank ? Then click play to hear the twists and turns of this convoluted story. Two men, two lives governed by lies. Big Steups
Karma & Mexico Isn't The Only Place With A Crappy System
We know you saw the promo for this week on Instagram ....so you already know you're in for some sh*t today. As usual we are mulling over the complexities of life's great decisions like how much money is enough money to poop on someone whilst bringing you along for the wild ride of this week's cases. First up, Shaunelle takes us on a dramatic journey into the unprovoked murder of Jeremy Warrior and the sacrifice one person was willing to make in pursuit of the "perfect murder". Then, Susana disrespects us all by bringing her worst case EVER! If you're a fan and you've heard her cases then you know we're not saying that lightly. She takes us through one woman's incredible journey for justice, visibility and recovery after being brutally raped, tortured and then blatantly ignored by the Venezuelan government. We're not crying, you're crying.......................Who are we kidding? Pass the tissues.
Officer 263 & A Few Clueless Criminals
Important takeaways from this week's episode: - Everyone better put a lil respect on the sex worker name - Susana is pissed - We take an epic tangent in the Officer 263 case...feel free to skip ahead if you don't wanna be woke - Nothing, as usual, is off the table This week Susana takes us through the case of an officer with a taste for sexual assault.....specifically the sexual assault of middle aged black women. This predator would hunt his prey whilst performing his police duties in underserved neighbourhoods. If you were to look up abuse of power in a dictionary we're certain this jackass would pop up. Then, to lighten the mood (save the day), Shaunelle brings you three cases of increasing criminal stupidity. The masterminds of these acts deserve to be forever remembered and we hope we did them justice. It's a serious and seriously wild episode...enjoy
Odd Oldies: A Vampire, A Romance and A friendship from hell
We're hitting you with the B.S straight out the gate this week. We have 3 tales for you.... Straight up, the second tale is the most disturbing. Don't let the conservative clothing fool you, it turns out that back in the day morals were more of a concept. Probabaly the brazen manner in which murders were committed could've been attributed to the lack of DNA technology. Whatever the cause, they were out and bad in the old days and these 3 cases prove that point. ***It should be noted that there are 3 cases because we weren't sure if Susana would be able to deliver this week. Joy! she was, so now you get an extra treat. There's something wrong with Peter: Without hesistation we can conclusively say there is (was) in fact something wrong with Peter. He took his adolescent desire for blood into his adult years and didn't earn the title "Vampire of Dusseldorf" for nothing. Although his crimes were enough to induce nightmares his final words really creeped us out. Endless Love We're using the word "love" here because Count Blah Blah Blah probably really thought he was in love and for him that love would last a lifetime.....HIS lifetime. The ultimate story of a man unable to let go and his macabre take on the saying "rest in peace" will all be unpacked ....hey if we can't sleep, why should you ? Sh*t went down after Halloween Susana gets literal and brings us a story of a friendship likely forged in the pits of hell. Two buddies successfully lured their victims for their shared gratification and it will end with 5 murders and one "friend" getting thrown under the bus. And if alllllll that isn't enough we're providing unsolicited and likely incoherent dating advice at the end. Enjoy!!!!
Mejico and Dr Revenge
We're all over the place with this episode. Susana's new hairstyle, Anal Gland expression (yikes), what colonics and Star Trek have in common and of course, crime. Susana is up first this week with another tale of injustice from where else? Mexico. Monterrey Mexico to be exact. Javier and Jorge were just enterprising young men with amazing futures ahead of them. Extrememly intellegent and well rounded they were dedicated to putting in the time at school so they could reap the rewards later. Unfortunately in a heart-wrenching case of wrong place, wrong time they would both be killed before realizing any of their dreams. Like that's not bad enough (and because it's a Susana case) the cover-up, the lies and the drama surrounding their death are the issues really up for discussion. Then Shaunelle brings you a case of a doctor on a quest for revenge after (rightly) having his reputaion and abilities as a physician questioned. Sadly, his victims would learn that getting in his was was a deadly mistake. Somebody bring a BP monitor STAT! because this Doc is salty AF and on a warpath. ***some things to note: Susana says fire in this episode she means firing and Shaunelle doesn't know geography and may or may not have confused Illanois and Indiana ...whoopsie
Rent & A Rose is A Rose
If you're easily offended by topics including (but not limited to): - People being vaccinated and outta timin celebrity tweets about vaccination - Violence against indigenous women - References to Bill Cosby - Rape in the Catholic Church THIS IS NOT THE EPISODE FOR YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No hard feelings. Just don't listen. Seriously, this is not reverse psychology. Our opinions, are exactly that, and if you can't handle it you should skip this one. A struggly start as always eventually led to Shaunelle taking us through the horrific murder of pregnant indigenous woman Loretta Saunders. Despite quick action by authorities, Loretta would not be found in time and in the end her murder was revealed to have been initiated by a frivolous dare (at least that's how we see it). Then Susana covers a wildly unexpected case of rape in the Catholic Church. The sad thing is, the identity of the perpetrators was the most unexpected part. This episode is intense, honest and probably more than you bargained for.
Misdiagnosis & The Murder of Kevin Bacon
***** We changed our mic stands and there is some audio interference ... whoopsie We are the first to tell you that we are NOT reliable resources for any information that could impact your life in any way, so we should not need to tell you that our views on mental health and any suggestions made in that regard, do NOT stem from any sort of professional authority. What we lack in knowledge, we more than make up for with our willingness to learn and understand. To be fair though, we call ourselves clueless for a reason so I wouldn't hold out for us to get it perfect....ever. Susana is up first this week with a story of a young man failed by (our contender for Jackass of the year) "the system". He slipped so far through the cracks, despite his father's attempts to get him help, that his unstable mental state and affinity for violence were both essentially weaponized resulting in murder. A murder which could've been prevented. Then Shaunelle covers the horrifying case of a young man named Kevin Bacon (no known relation to Hollywood's Kevin Bacon) and how this man was lured to his death by a homicidal cannibal. The question we're left with is whether or not the murderers mental health played a part in the crime. Lots to unpack this week. You may need a drink.....or 10.
The Fall From Grace Pervert Episode
There's a lot going on in today's episode ....more than usual. If the beginning is any indicator then you know you're in for a rough ride. Not only are we dropping an episode with, not 1 but 2, cases of opportunistic pervs but we are also dealing with Susana shaking ice like a pair of maracas and alarms going off. First up, Shaunelle covers a case she cleverly (according to her) entitled "An Officer and A Pervert" (extra points if you got the movie reference). When women were falling victim to Jerry Brudos like home invasions, eventually leading to the murder of 2 young women, the Ontario Provincial Police set out to catch the culprit. They just didn't realize the fully decorated culprit was hiding in plain sight. Then Susana takes us on a walk down memory lane, with the infamous Mary Kay Letourneau case in which "love" (and by love we mean abuse) contributed to the derailment of a young man's life. We've ammended that ole rhyme just for this so it reads: First comes abuse, then comes prison........ It's an intense episode full of entitlement and abuse of power. Brace yourselves.
Mama knows Best and Few Clueless Criminals
Hooray for improved audio!!!!!! We got our hands on some sweet sweet mics and they've made all the difference in our audio situation. We just need to remember to actually speak into the mic as well as refrain from hitting the table....whoops! Our episode today is dedicated to Susana as it will be released on her birthday. First up, Susana will be taking the reins and carrying us on an epic telenovela-esq journey Jane the Virgin couldn't write. Marisela Escobedo's daughter was dead and, despite Marisela putting together an ironclad case, she couldn't get her daughter's murderer to pay. It's a seriously twisted story of murder, corruption and a mother refusing to give up on justice for her daughter.......yes, you are right, Susana has a case type but it's her birthday and she can make us cry if she wants to. Next up, and hoping to make good on a birthday promise, Shaunelle has 3 (yes, three) clueless criminal cases, each one more clueless than the last. If you make it to the end you can enjoy Susana laugh crying herself through the last 5-10 mins of the episode. You can also help us answer the age old question of pu**y or prison? Happy Birthday Susana !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drink Your Water and Mind Your Husbands Business
We're the victims this week. After weeks and weeks of attempting to share a case which shall remain nameless a series of comical and unfortunate events have resulted in us scrapping that case because we think it's cursed. ***You will notice a difference in audio because we had to record on separate days with an alternative setup to test the best audio. Let us know what you think. Husbands will be husbands right? First, Shaunelle is covering a case called Killer Stilettos about serial killer Jerry Brudos (look out for the part where it's pronounced Burdos) who had a fetish for women's shoes. Unfortunately, his fetish didn't stop there and he graduated to torture, murder and necrophilia. Then Susana will dive into the infamous Amy Fisher case in which an illicit affair resulted in a shot to the face for Mary Jo Buttafuoco. We'll talk about how the case unfolded and where they are now. In both cases the wives of these men had no idea what they were up to until it was too late. Please remember to drink your water and mind your husband's business.....it could save someone's life, even yours.
Families Seeking Justice and Men Ain't ****
That moment when you think you've FINALLY figured out your audio issues only to have your post-op medicated co-host consistently forget to speak into the mic (not to throw anyone under the bus but the culprit's name rhymes with lusana) and as an added treat there's also constant emergency service background noise.... if anything, you should think of this episode as a love letter to you, the listeners, because we're releasing it anyway. ***If you're sensitive to the F bombs and Mother F bombs this is NOT the episode for you. We struck a nerve with Susana this week. ***Also, we are NOT talking about all men !!! Susana (brought to you by Tylenol 3) presents the story of Vanessa Guillen, who dedicated her life to becoming a soldier only to senselessly lose said life at the hands of a fellow soldier. How her case unravels as well as how it was handled was enough for us to question what she sacrificed for. Her mother is not going to let this go and we're her biggest fans. Then, we cover the case of Sarah Butler a college student who was brutally murdered by a predator disguised as the boy next door. In the end, he messed with the wrong girl! Her family and friends set up a sting to catch him..... only, it turns out, Sarah was not his only victim. Instagram @criminallyclueless Twitter @CriminalCluePod Website: www.criminallyclueless.com
A Frenemy and A Husband's Betrayal
We need to apologise out the gate because we both (mostly Shaunelle) got so worked up by these cases that we were talking pretty fast ...whoops Shaunelle is covering the case of Mirna Salihin. Mirna, like many of us (at one time or the other) had a frenemy who she was no longer on good terms with. In an attempt to make peace she agreed to meet this frenemy for coffee not realizing it would be the last thing she'd ever do. It isn't always safe to accept that olive branch folks!!! And Susana will be covering an unthinkable injustice against a woman named Rachel. Rachel was betrayed in the worst way by the person she trusted the most. We're putting her assailant in the running for the Criminally Clueless Jackass of the year award. Have a listen and let us know if you agree. Find us: Instagram: @criminallyclueless Twitter: @CriminalCluePod Website: www.criminallyclueless.com
Cell Mates and A Clueless Criminal - Jessica Booth
Things are looking up, less echos in this episode and the content is premium. Today Susana will be covering a case of two fated cell mates and Shaunelle is exstatic to be covering our first clueless criminal!!!! Please enjoy the last 20 minutes or so of this podcast in which Susana laughs hysterically...it's worth it....trust me.
A Teen Romance and A Nightmare Nurse
Bad editing and Bad audio alert!!!! Have we figured out the music situation? Yes. Do we now have an echo problem? Also yes. It can only go up from here. Today Susana will be bringing you the story she teased you with on last week's episode about a teen romance gone wrong and Shaunelle will be covering a local Canadian serial killer who used care homes as her own personal hunting ground.
A Crappy Dad and a Naughty Governor
It's the first episode. Thanks for joining us. As you've already figured out by the bad editing and the untrimmed music of our 2 teasers we aren't ready to do this but we're here anyway. On today's episode Shaunelle will be talking about a contender for the worlds worst dad award (who also has questionable dietary habits) and Susana will be unpacking all you need to know about a certain NYC Governor who's been accused of being too "friendly".
Teaser #2
Since you last left us we've figured out a little (VERY LITTLE) about audio and editing. It's still not perfect but please enjoy the fact that we are no longer sounding like we're shouting because we figured out how to reduce the background music : )
Trailer
Just an introduction to your new favorite hosts. We'll be launching the Criminally Clueless Podcast before you know it ! With zero years of criminal experience behind us you'll be getting the most candid takes on some hot button topics as well as the most sensational crimes. Oh! the Pomeranian under the desk ? Be cool, she's our boss .....we can explain. Coming soon !!!!