006 - Fathers, Don't Miss Out: How Showing Up Can Change Your Child's Life

Today, I want to talk about parenting and something that's been on my mind recently. As a parent, when your child does something wrong, it's natural to have an immediate emotional response. But what do you do with that emotion? I've noticed that many parents, especially fathers, tend to shy away from taking an active role in parenting. It's often assumed that the mom is responsible for dealing with the kids and their emotions, while the dad's job is simply to provide financially. But being a father is so much more than that! It's about being present, connected, and loving towards your children. It's about being a guide, a leader, and a teacher. It's about showing your kids that they are loved and valued and that you are there to support them no matter what. So let me get to the point. As a parent, I sometimes find myself assuming that my child has acted with malicious intent when they do something wrong. I immediately start thinking that they did it on purpose to hurt someone, and I launch into a punishment conversation without giving them a chance to explain themselves. This often leads to them believing false things about themselves, like they are not lovable, and it all started with my wrong assumption. So, I had to ask myself if I fundamentally believe that humans are good or evil. But if I realize that my child did not act with malicious intent, I need to put on my detective hat and become a sleuth to try to understand how they perceived reality. I have to listen to them and ask questions instead of assuming that I know what happened. When I do this, I hear things from my child that I could not have possibly thought of myself because I am not at their level of development. I have learned to have these types of conversations with my children, and it has helped me understand them better. For example, my daughter once asked me what a MasterCard was, and I asked her why she was asking. She told me that she was scared to tell me something because she thought I would be mad, and I was grateful that she could tell me how she felt. I could never have had that level of conversation with my children in the early days of my parenting journey, but I have learned to communicate better with them. Unfortunately, many dads miss out on this amazing experience. They pawn off their fatherhood to their spouses, assuming that their job is done once they've provided financially for the family. They miss out on the opportunity to be the ultimate guide for their children, and to witness the most amazing journey of their lives. I know this because I've been there. In the early days of my parenting journey, I didn't know who I was as a man or what I stood for. I was still trying to figure things out, and as a result, I missed out on some of the most precious moments with my kids. But I'm glad I came to that realization when I did because it allowed me to build the deep, meaningful relationships I have with my five children today. So, dads, it's time to wake up and realize the huge role you play in your children's lives. How you show up now will impact them for decades to come. Don't miss out on the opportunity to be there for your kids, to guide them, and to love them unconditionally. It's not just their lives that will be better for it, but yours too. Trust me, it's an experience you don't want to miss out on. "Every family needs a FATHER - a father who shares in his family's joy and pain, hands down wisdom to his children, and offers them firm, guidance and love" - Pope Francis Blessings on your path,  Rev. Benjamin Norman   Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io