18| Unmarked Windowless Vans Contain Candy

That mascot pep-off sure got violent. But that violence led to Bethany Greenwick reclaiming her title as school mascot! Who says violence solves nothing? Students, the GPS tracker to be installed in you will be quite painfull-less-ish... Keep your eyelids peeled, again, for Mr Frito's missing glass eye, again! Sports are happening, and we are telling you about them. Take a deep breath; September is plastic bag awareness month. The shortage of available teachers is a key issue that I am keeping an eye on. Thank you to our sponsors Chest Mix and the Tetwrist PSA. Music for this episode was performed by Jemmy Joe. You can listen to more of his tunes at JemmyJoe.bandcamp.com This month's parody song is Take My Breast Away. Lyrics: A man is to be executed by the guillotine. His one last request: to suckle on a maiden's teat. With much reluctance, I drop my breast upon his face. I trip forward, push him out, my boob takes his face's place. Then they drop the blade. Take my breast away. Drinking at a bar, I've entered a wet T-shirt contest. Posing like the best, somebody dumps liquid on my chest. Everybody's screaming, no one yells louder than me. The water bucket was actually the deep fryer grease. It melts my flesh away. Through the store window you saw me sawing off a mannequin's chest. I was tackled by security; the man is keeping me suppressed. My breasts they confiscate. This can't be my fate. Take the chest away. Take my breast away. Chilling on my porch, a turkey waddles up to me. I bonk it on the head, pluck it, cook it, and start to eat. Kicking down my door, secret service agents pull their guns. This turkey was free; the president issued pardons. They take my turkey breast away. Take my breast away.Please share this with anyone that you think may enjoy it. I don't know where to find my audience! :|