413. You're not for everyone? GOOD!

It’s easy to believe that being liked by as many people as possible is a positive attribute. But when we chase this, we risk compromising our sense of identity, alienating ourselves from others, and being confused and burnt out by a string of inauthentic connections. In this episode, we examine what drives us to people please, acknowledge our need for human connection, and learn to recognise how to shift unhealthy patterns towards healthier, self-soothing ones. We explore: • What drives our need to belong• The science behind why others don’t think about us as much as we imagine• Why being a social chameleon can make others distrust you• Why constant social monitoring is a waste of mental energy• How we can reframe our thinking to recognise if we truly like someone, rather than just enjoy being liked Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources: https://unwantedlife.me/the-spotlight-effect-and-social-anxiety-all-eyes-on-me https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/201702/how-wanting-to-be-liked-gets-you-rejected https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8405711/ The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.