54: Where Are You?

In this podcast, we make a vow: No more lies! Total transparency! "We don't know what we're doing...It's Benny's fault." We bust open the lie behind this two-part podcast fraud. Which is that we record one super-bloated podcast and then we hack it into bits. And Benny puts it back together, re-animator style. So it's not two. It's one. Filled with lies. And, as you'd expect, lameness. Chronicle media (and political) writer Joe Garofoli continues his butchery of British accents. In fact, the sun never sets on his awfulness. But hey, that doesn't stop either one of us from bringing the stupid. In fact, Joe and I do hockey announcer voices. It went pretty well. We may bring them back. We sing now with an alarming lack of embarrassment. This episode: "Ebony and Ivory" and "Don't Go Back to (Rockridge)" -- our modification of an R.E.M. song to reflect our neighborhood. Possibly some Clash. But there's always some Clash. We're like poster children for Uncut magazine. By the way, this podcast is mostly calls. We were called out -- rightly -- by Martin in S.F. for having all the e-mails in the first podcast and the phone calls in the second (we're hoping to change that, but again -- it's Benny's fault). Also, thanks to Josh in the Five and Dime for our wonderful -- and totally illegal -- opening theme song. I'll send a message to Mitch Hurwitz of "Arrested Development" fame and have him call off the legal dogs. All told -- some decent information in this one. Some e-mails. Some phone calls. A lot of patching together in a kind of miraculous fashion. And then it devolves to the point where we confuse the Dalai Lama with the Amish. Don't ask. It had something to do with being a Luddite. We're hoping to do our next podcast live from the 21st Amendment bar in San Francisco and we're confident that such a setting will greatly improve the professionalism -- and our memories. Someone asked us about "The Citizen Kane of single camera sitcoms?" Wow. Good question, Charles! Booze and beer in El Paso is what fires up a question like that. Charles is now officially invited to our remote podcast from the 21st Amendment. Even though we haven't been invited there or even set it up. Use your frequent flier miles, Charles! Oh, and Joe uses the phrases "Table-setter" and "the turkey's on the table" which are wholly inappropriate for people who don't think like we do. Apologies -- again. We would love to hear your voice. Please tell us where you're from. And your area code, because we like that kind of thing. As a bonus, if you're a woman with a British accent, we'll talk about you for pretty much the entire podcast. And for those of you keeping track, we have zero calls from Latin America and none from Tibet. Let's fix that. Lastly, on April 23rd, a full 8,729 people downloaded my interview with Michael C. Hall of "Dexter." In one day. And we have no idea why that happened on that day. If you know, please tell. And we hope you liked the interview. Cheers to all.