Calling The Crisis Hotline Because No One Will Wipe Your Butthole

Tonight’s episode is an absolute endurance test for the human soul, featuring poop-stained underwear, unwanted love confessions, suicidal diaper tantrums, and a man willing to murder over a Pepsi. Strap in.The Epstein Files DumpMillions of pages released, including emails that suggest even Jeffrey Epstein wanted nothing to do with Elon Musk. When Epstein ghosts you, it might be time for some self-reflection.“It’s Just a Fun Thing” Guy EscalatesTim’s blind poop-fetish stalker returns with more voicemails, more longing, and more reasons to fear becoming a captive shit slave.Sagittarius Shouty Returns 🇨🇦Canada’s angriest prostitute recounts a disastrous booking involving:A mystery-smelling clientAggressive gumdrop bitingRepeated “I love you” declarationsAnd a horrifying discovery: a visible poop stain in the man’s underwear(No showers were harmed in the making of this nightmare.)Diaper Freak Andy Ditch Melts DownThe adult baby autism faker is back, calling crisis services nonstop because:No one will touch his buttholeHe claims he can’t eat, drink, cross streets, or surviveCrisis counselors increasingly stop pretending to carePolice become the ultimate threatA masterclass in fetishized helplessness and wasted public resources.Missouri Man Threatens Murder Over a Pepsi 🥤A 47-year-old allegedly attempts to force his way into a woman’s bedroom, demanding Pepsi by name and threatening to kill her and her son when denied. His mother eventually retrieves a Pepsi for him. Justice is imperfect.Science Says Gooning Is FineNew research finds that watching porn isn’t inherently harmful — unless you’re already a deeply troubled weirdo blaming demons, spirits, and porn for why you’re gay.Christian Porn Trauma RevisitedA familiar religious nut explains how porn “made him” sleep with men, invoking Ted Bundy, spirits, and wax stuff along the way.Voicemails from the Freaks ☎️Ideas for trolling the poop fetishistAnonymous animal-shit mailing servicesCreepy childhood Christian school storiesScaly missionary headsA reminder that Unshackled absolutely ruledUpdates on Sideshow membership, including:New distortedview.com featuresSoundboardsWeb playersYearly podcast archive feeds (2004–2008 now live, more coming soon)On Today’s Show:Plus: