Celebrate Your Screw Ups

Hi David, i cant imagine how many emails you get from listeners so would be amazed if you get to see this one. But actually i guess it doesn't matter if you see it or not, in a way my writing it is a moment that could change my situation. I am struggling at the moment. I'm not sure how long I have been struggling as my life has always been ups and downs. But it certainly feels that the downs last longer, whilst the Ups are few. I dont know what I am doing with my life. Since i finished university the plans that I thought were mine in the making haven't come true. I have tried to make them happen to the best of my ability, but often looking back if an opportunity did come along I was in one of the dips and didnt make the most of it. Now i am temping in an office job that has nothing to do with me. Its a job. I earn money by doing meaningless tasks. Then come home to my little apartment to kill the hours before I go to bed and then start again. My friends are becoming less and less, which isnt a surprise as most of them think i will say no if they ask me to do anything. Which basically is true. I dont have the energy to be happy. There I think I said it...i dont think I have the energy to be happy, its too tiring and at the least seems fake to me. I see people walking around in couples, laughing and drinking in bars and it all seems so natural and effortless. You my man have your shit together. I can tell that. The way you talk and deliver the content to us is always on point and focused. You are in the game, and I wish i could be more like you. In fact I wish i could be more like anyone except me as I dont have a fucking clue how to be me anymore. I am lost, floating out to sea and not sure of anything. Im the king of double guessing so dont actually do anything at all. Im not sure what I am expecting to get from this email, and I hoped that it would make me feel better in a cathartic way. I guess I have failed as I just seem more like a depressed loser. Stay the course David as we need you in the world. You dont know how your positivity makes a difference to people like me.