E41:Talking about Death, Grief, and Hard Topics

This week, we are going to shift gears . We are talking about grief and how to discuss it with our children. As we have discussed many times before, children are capable of much more than they are often given credit for. They are sometimes more understanding than we are as adults. When we give them the respect to include them in hard topics in a calm, consistent, and age-appropriate way, we can empower them.

We make a list of steps including, sharing your feelings with your child, guiding the conversation, planning what you want to say, finding a quiet moment, listening, being direct and clear,  admitting when we don't know something, and - above all - reassure. We also talk about the importance of taking care of yourself, maintaining routines, allowing spaces for processing and providing outlets for expression, and seeking out help for you or your child. A licensed mental health professional such as a psychologist can assist you in developing an appropriate strategy for moving forward.

Adults can’t take kids’ pain away, but they can help them cope in healthy ways.
We want so badly as parents and teachers to protect our children from all of the bad. But, not only is that not an option, it would get in the way of their growth. The hard moments in our life define us. They teach us empathy, compassion, and grit. They teach us how to move forward and they are often the moments that show us our life callings. Our job is not to block these from children. Our job is to support them and love them through so that the moment doesn’t succeed in pushing them down, but can lift them higher.

References and Resources:
APA.org
The Road to Resilience
SAMHSA.gov
https://www.apa.org/topics/journalism-facts/talking-children
https://childmind.org/article/helping-children-deal-grief/
https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/death.html
https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/supporting-child-through-grief-and-loss