Ep 5: 4 Ways to Know if Adoption is Right for You

Show Notes Episode 5: 4 Ways to Know if Adoption is Right for You In this Episode Heather discusses: 4 ways to know if adoption is right for you How we knew it was time to move forward with adoption Adoption 101 Associated adoption fees (where your money goes) Ways to afford adoption Links mentioned: fortheloveofadoption.com Adoption. It's surrounded with so much confusion and misinformation. And how many people never move forward with adoption because of this. Hi, I'm Heather. I'm not an adoption coach or consultant, and I'm not within adoption agency. I'm a mom to two amazing kids I've been blessed with through adoption. And on this journey, I've learned and continue to learn a lot. Most of all, I believe that if God has put adoption on your heart, it's there for a reason. And you shouldn't let all the stuff keep you from jumping in. I'm here to offer you hope and encouragement, and to talk about everything from types of adoption, things to know before you adopt, funding your adoption including grants, the home study process, making the most of your adoption wait, talking to your kids about adoption, and so much more. Adoption can be hard, but many of the best things in life often are. You know what, though? It can also be amazing! I'm here to share what I've learned. I hope hearing from someone that's gone this road before you encourages and motivates you to take a step of faith and see where it leads. I'm doing this all for the love of adoption. Let's dive in. Hi, friends, welcome to episode five of the For the Love of Adoption Show. I am so excited to talk to you guys. Today, we are going to be talking about how you can know if you are maybe ready to move forward with adoption. And specifically, four ways to know. Let's jump in. So first of all, how did we know adoption was right for us? And how do we know when it was time to really step up and start truly pursuing adoption? And how can you know the same? Honestly, for us, it all fell into place when we started to take a single step. And then it led to the next. So at first when we started thinking about adoption before we really started taking steps and just kind of thinking about it, I guess we just kind of thought the stars needed to align. Before we dove in like we needed to have plenty of money, the perfect house, the perfect jobs, the perfect life. You know, like everyone else has before they have kids. Now, I know without a doubt that even though we weren't, quote-unquote, ready. I know the kids we ended up adopting were the ones that were meant for us. I mean, don't get me wrong, they drive me crazy some days. But they're 100% ours and we love them so much. We love them like nothing else, they were worth the wait. And crazy works for us. It just does. But for us, when we took a step to attend an adoption meeting, that really led to the next step. And then the next naturally, but the steps are not always comfortable. But they still led to the next. So we knew, Okay, this is progressing by us taking one step and it's leading to the next if we had bowed out because of the discomfort we would never have adopted. So I'm not saying everything was just seamless. And just one step perfectly led to the next and there was no frustration or no work now, but each step continued to lead to the next. God was showing us that it was time. So ultimately, the timing was exactly as it was supposed to be. Our faith is what really kept the adoption dream alive. I mean, we knew many, many years ago that we were being called to build our family through adoption. But we didn't know how or when. And we honestly thought we would never be able to afford it. Overcoming that hurdle. Oh, my goodness, that was huge, huge in helping us move forward, there is no way we would have hung on to our adoption dream for so long if it was not a legit calling. So look, if you're called to adopt, and you take the first step in front of you, and it leads to the next and then the next, it's probably time to jump in with both feet and move forward. Because when we faithfully started putting one foot in front of the other, things started to happen. When we just thought about adoption, it didn't happen. Go figure right? But when we started to take steps, God gave us peace about moving on to the next step. And he provided a way we knew it was time to keep moving forward. So sometimes hearing something like that from someone that's already gone through adoption might be all you need to just kind of give you that boost. But other times, you might really be looking for something more tangible to decide if you're ready. I get that because it is a huge decision. So how do you really know when adoption is right? And if the timing is right? Let's be honest, adoption can be overwhelming, right? And, sometimes when you're thinking about adoption when you're considering it, you just need to know where to start. You just need to know, what do I do? Like, how do I figure this out? And what are the basics of what I need to know? Can somebody just tell me the basics? Well, I have put together an eight-page guide, that is Adoption 101. It talks about types of adoption, things to know before you adopt adoption terms, how to find adoption support, which is very important, adoption costs, which we all need to know, right? The steps to take to adopt, books to read about adoption, and even talking to your child about adoption. This is a jam-packed eight-page guide, that really will just lay out the basics for you. Because again, adoption is overwhelming, it is I get it. And sometimes we just need to be able to see something that kind of just talks us through… okay, what do I do? And what do I need to know? That's why I created this eight-page guide, I spent a lot of time on this to really fill it with what I thought were the most important things you need to know, to consider adoption and just get started. If you decide it's right for you, you can get this completely free. Just go to fortheloveofadoption.com. And scroll to the middle of the homepage, you will see an image that says Adoption 101. Because look, if adoptions on your heart, I believe that calling is there for a reason. And this eight-page guide can just help break things down and help you get started. So make sure you go grab that today. Here are four things that can help you decide if maybe it's time. Number one, you cannot stop thinking about adoption. When the adoption bug first bit us it was on my mind, but honestly, it kind of came and went. But after some time passed, it consumed my thoughts. It was like I had to do something about it, it was clear that it was not supposed to be one of those things that I just kind of think about and then never really do anything about I needed to move forward. So, are you feeling like adoption could be the way you build or add your family? Are you drawn to reading things about adoption or listening to podcasts like this about adoption that help you think about it on a deeper level, or maybe like me, you just know in the depths of who you are, that you are meant to adopt, you just know it, you just might not be sure what it will look like yet, or exactly how it will happen. And that's okay, no one does. An adoption journey unfolds usually very differently than you imagine it will. But if you cannot stop thinking about adoption, and if things keep pointing you toward adoption, do not ignore that, because that could very well be how to know that adoption is right for you. That's number one. Number two, your spouse is feeling the pull also. So, although I was the one that got the ball rolling with adoption, it did not take long for my husband to jump on board. And I know that in some cases, your spouse might not be sure about adoption right away as soon as you are, it might take them some time to warm up to the idea. And this can be especially true if your dream was to have a biological child. But you have to let that dream go, then this can be even more so. But if you get to the point that your spouse is very open or even drawn to adoption, that could be a really good sign that it's time to move forward. If you're having conversations with your spouse about adoption, and you both feel interested in pursuing it, or at least learning more, that can be one way to know adoption may be right for you. And then it could be time to start taking some steps forward. Number three, you start to see the bigger picture. When you consider adoption, chances are there's going to be way more unanswered questions than answered. But once something truly becomes a passion or calling, you start to find a way to figure things out, right. And as you do so the picture starts to become a little bit clearer. You'll start to come across information that answers some of your questions. Or if funding adoption is a concern, you might figure out how to gather the funds you need. Or you might come across an adoption agency you feel really good about and you want to work with. The point is that when the picture starts to become a little clearer, that's a big deal. That's a guiding light and that could be how you know that you're ready to move forward. Another way is you're dreaming of your child. When you open your heart to adoption. There are so many things to consider. What age are you open to and so many more. Although you will never know exactly what your adopted child is going to be like, you'll probably start to dream. You may know what name you'll choose, maybe you know that you're leaning toward domestic or international adoption. And you might enjoy time imagining what she or he might look like, what their personality will be like. The point is that when you start dreaming of your child, you start visualizing some sort of an idea of what they may be like, you may be ready to take the next step toward meeting that child. Just to recap, here are four ways that you can tell that you might be ready to move forward with adoption. One, you cannot stop thinking about adoption. Two your spouse is feeling the pull too. Three, you start to see the bigger picture.  And four, you are dreaming of your child. With all that said, if you're open to adoption, take a step. And if that step leads to another, keep moving forward. Decide what your first step is going to be, maybe it's going to be to attend a free information session, maybe it's going to be to talk to someone that's been through the process. Maybe it's going to be to learn how you could afford adoption. But if you're open to adoption, and you're starting to think it might be right for you, take a step. And again, if that leads to another, keep moving forward. Thanks so much for listening in today. And did you know that I offer a full library of free resources to help you along on your adoption journey, and I'm always adding more. This includes downloads of grant recommendations, adoption fundraising ideas, an agency questionnaire, a hospital checklist, and much more. You can find that by going to ForTheLoveOfAdoption.com and scrolling to the bottom of the homepage. And if you have an idea for something you'd love to see added to this library, please send me a message and let me know. I'm always looking for ways to help you on your adoption journey. If you enjoy Instagram, be sure to find me there @fortheloveofadoption, where I love to hang out and share live videos and plenty of adoption tips. I'm always excited to support you in your adoption journey. See you next time.