Episode 163: Undead and Alive and Zombie 4: After Death

Send us Fan MailA double bill from the DVD bargain bucket here.  I will try not to let the disappointment come through but I had high (ish) hopes about these two. We had, for starters SNL alumnus Chris Kattan, a profoundly average member of the cast, and James Denton from Desperate Housewives and the Good Witch as unlikely partners in this Cowboys v Zombies western.Was it funny? No. Did it have any recommendable moments? I saw this about a week ago and I am struggling to remember anything good about it. The plot is that Geronimo, knowing he is going to die and with him the last hope for the native American people, curses the white man with the white man curse. It is basically a voodoo curse that means anyone white could bite anyone else who is white and they will turn zeke. They somehow keep their motivation, voice, brain, but just want to eat people. Kattan plays this idiot, Denton mostly plays it straight, and it was just weak.The annoying thing is that after two movies (Zombie King and Zombex) where the Hollywood names were in it for barely a few minutes, Kattan and Denton were in this the whole movie and it was still horse shit.3.5/10 Zombie 4 aka After Death is one of those Italian zombie movies that looks like it was made in the late 1970s but was in fact man in 1989! No! Say it ain't so!On a random jungle island a group of western scientists are trying to cure cancer. Really? On a crappy island? Anyway they try to cure the local Voodoo priest's dying daughter but she dies. The priest then sends his own wife to Hell to be with her, and curses the scientists who are then killed by the priest's wife who has gone full on Demons rip-off, other than a 5 year old girl.20 years later the girl returns, not sure how, or why, but she is with some mercenaries and a few other randoms. At the same time an archaeological group (we think) including a porn star from Can I be your bratwurst, please? (genuine movie) also arrive. The zombies are fast runners but in stupid ninja costumes, and they can talk, and when hit oof, ow, urgh...A few ok bits but mostly shit. Like I said, made in 1989 but looks like 19793.5/10