Grief: Death of Animal Companions

I am a public philosopher, it is my only job. I am enabled to do this job, in large part, thanks to support from my listeners and readers. You can support my work, keep it independent and online, at https://practicingstoicism.com/pledge. In this episode, I address a subject many people struggle with deeply: the death of animal companions. I explain why I prefer that term over “pets,” and why I felt compelled to speak about this topic at all, despite rarely discussing my own past relationships or personal losses. I share the context of leaving a long-term relationship and the difficult Stoic choices that followed, including continuing to help care for my dog, Jupiter, after I left. I do this to make one thing clear from the outset: this episode is not an exercise in emotional detachment. I care deeply about animal companions, and I understand the strength of the bonds we form with them. From there, I describe what makes their loss so painful. Animal companions are a constant presence in our daily lives. When they are gone, future moments feel diminished in a way that is both sudden and enduring. I argue that to deny this sadness, or to suggest that grief itself is inappropriate, would be unjust. Stoic sages may not grieve, but there are no sages. We are imperfect human beings, and grief is a natural response to loss. I then outline how Stoicism helps us deal with grief without letting it ruin our character. First, we must understand what death truly is: a natural return of energy to the Cosmos. Death itself is never unjust, even though injustice can sometimes lead to it. Accepting this reality is difficult, especially in the midst of mourning, but it is necessary. Next, I explain why grief is dangerous if left unchecked. Grief can turn into anger or despair, both of which place us at risk of unjust choices—toward others or toward ourselves. Stoic practice demands that we remain vigilant over our rational faculty, especially when we are emotionally vulnerable. Finally, I argue that moving on is not a betrayal of love. After an appropriate period of mourning, continuing to live well, happily, and attentively is not unjust. Our animal companions are gone, and there is no further care we can provide them. To remain trapped in grief is to elevate mourning above the pursuit of moral excellence, which is the only true good. To grieve, to remember fondly, and then to return our attention to the duties of the present is the Stoic path. Love your companion, mourn their absence, guard your character, and when the time comes, move forward with gratitude for what was and responsibility for what remains. Looking for a Stoic habit tracker? I've created a free one. You can find it at https://stoictracker.com. Listening on Spotify? Leave a comment! Share your thoughts.