It's Not You It's Me!...No Actually it IS YOU! ....But Really.....It Just Is!

This podcast looks at the journey that can happen in any relationship, whether personal or at work where a difficult feeling or experience starts to occur and we look to allocate 'cause' or 'blame' for it. At first our impulse may be to look to ourselves with negative judgements and criticisms but in many ways that makes it even more likely that when we can't find a clear cause within ourselves we react strongly with the suggestion the 'cause' or 'blame' is to be allocated in someone else. This need to identify an individual whether ourselves or another for a difficult situation arising is the basis for many unresolved conflicts. Often the difficult feeling will arise simply because something has changed in our life circumstances and we look to explain it as being about 'us' or 'them' rather than it just 'is' as a consequence of the infinite number of things that can change in our daily experience and the fact that we sometimes struggle to accommodate those changes.  Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 26 years working as a mediator, conflict coach and conflict management trainer and consultant. Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/ Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com Subscribe to the CAOS podcast on Anchor at:  https://anchor.fm/caotica  or on iTunes at: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/caos/id1492578653 TRAINING: To train as a Mediator in the CAOS model: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/mediation-training-course.html   To train as a Conflict Coach in the CAOS model: https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching-training.html BOOKS:   How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316 A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221 CREDITS Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200