S2 Episode 4: The Other Side of Winning

For all of the division in the world right now, there’s one thing that brings us all together: We all love that feeling of achieving – whether your big win is getting a gold medal in an Olympic swim meet or just getting out of bed on a tough day. The thing is, like any good thing, too much of that winning feeling can be problematic and even damaging for your sense of wellbeing. This is especially true if, like so many high achievers, you feel the pull to do more, be more and achieve more, often without ever slowing down to appreciate your achievements to date. If anyone can relate to all that, it’s Nikki Kett. As a former collegiate athlete, high-performing coach, and serial college graduate, Nikki has spent much of her life at a pinnacle of success – but as many all-round overachievers will attest, the wins don’t come without sacrifice. Athletes, in particular, tend to push themselves to higher standards rather than pausing to process and appreciate the progress they have made – and all of those emotions left unprocessed can be a bigger problem than they first appear. The medal-winning question is this: how can we balance pursuing and achieving our dreams with self-compassion? In this episode, Nikki and I search for answers, exploring Olympic highs and lows, the cycle of performing, controlling and achieving, and the real value of coaching along the way. So what’s this episode really about? The mental health challenges that affect elite athletes – and what we can do about it Why it’s so important to feel things in order to move through them The best mind-clearing alternatives to meditation How to create space for yourself to truly experience each moment The parallels between coaching and going to Disney World Why you should listenThey say comparison is the thief of joy, and yet it plagues so many of us, no matter what our focus might be. If you often find yourself rushing from one goal to the next rather than reflecting, blaming others rather than taking ownership, and comparing your everyday life to others’ highlight reels, this episode is full of thought-provoking points that will help you understand and redirect those behaviors. LinksShe ShattersShe Shatters Instagram Nikki Kett Coaching Instagram You can quote me on that…“I think [the pressure to compete and perform] comes from a place of scarcity where you’re not enough as you are, and that creates even more fear of our emotions [and] of our flaws, and shame.” - Nikki Kett “I think a lot of athletes – especially as they retire, when they’re off the stage and the race is over – [they] look [themselves] in the mirror and say, ‘who am I and what am I, to myself and to other people? What other things do I contribute to the world?’” – Hannah Austin “It's hard to describe a state that you're in now versus the optimal state that you could be in, because you have to share and show someone that there's a better opportunity and life for them, and trying to explain that is very challenging.” – Hannah AustinLike what you hear? Please leave a review – these stars won’t burn out!