The Moon And Sixpence 21.8

He smileddryly, but said nothing. I wish I knew how to describe his smile. I do not knowthat it was attractive, but it lit up his face, changing the expression, whichwas generally sombre, and gave it a look of not ill-natured malice. It was aslow smile, starting and sometimes ending in the eyes; it was very sensual,neither cruel nor kindly, but suggested rather the inhuman glee of the satyr.It was his smile that made me ask him:

"Haven'tyou been in love since you came to Paris?"

"I haven'tgot time for that sort of nonsense. Life isn't long enough for love and art."

"Yourappearance doesn't suggest the anchorite. "

"All thatbusiness fills me with disgust. "

"Humannature is a nuisance, isn't it?" I said.

"Why areyou sniggering at me?"

"Because Idon't believe you. "

"Thenyou're a damned fool. "

I paused, and Ilooked at him searchingly.

"What'sthe good of trying to humbug me?" I said.

"I don'tknow what you mean. "

I smiled.

他只干笑了一下，没说什么。我真希望我能形容一下儿他笑的样子。我不敢说他的笑容多么好看，但是他一笑起来，脸就泛起光彩，使他平时总是阴沉着的面容改了样子，平添了某种刁钻刻薄的神情。他的笑容来得很慢，常常是从眼睛开始也就消失在眼梢上。另外，他的微笑给人以一种色欲感，既不是残忍的，也不是仁慈的，令人想到森林之神的那种兽性的喜悦。正是他的这种笑容使我提出一个问题。

“从你到巴黎以后闹过恋爱吗？”

“我没有时间干这种无聊的事。生命太短促了，没有时间既闹恋爱又搞艺术。”

“你可不象过隐士生活的样子。”

“这种事叫我作呕。”

“人性是个讨厌的累赘，对不对？”我说。

“你为什么对我傻笑？”

“因为我不相信你。”

“那你就是个大傻瓜。”

我没有马上答话；我用探索的目光盯着他。

“你骗我有什么用？”我说。

“我不知道你是什么意思。”

我笑了。