The Moon And Sixpence 41.5

He gave asudden flash of anger.

"Damn itall, I wanted her. "

But herecovered his temper immediately, and looked at me with a smile.

"At firstshe was horrified. "

"Did youtell her?"

"Therewasn't any need. She knew. I never said a word. She was frightened. At last Itook her. "

I do not knowwhat there was in the way he told me this that extraordinarily suggested theviolence of his desire. It was disconcerting and rather horrible. His life wasstrangely divorced from material things, and it was as though his body at timeswreaked a fearful revenge on his spirit. The satyr in him suddenly tookpossession, and he was powerless in the grip of an instinct which had all thestrength of the primitive forces of nature. It was an obsession so completethat there was no room in his soul for prudence or gratitude.

"But whydid you want to take her away with you?" I asked.

"I didn't," he answered, frowning. "When she said she was coming I was nearlyas surprised as Stroeve. I told her that when I'd had enough of her she'd haveto go, and she said she'd risk that. " He paused a little. "She had awonderful body, and I wanted to paint a nude. When I'd finished my picture Itook no more interest in her. "

"And sheloved you with all her heart. "

He sprang tohis feet and walked up and down the small room.

他突然一阵怒火上撞。

“去他妈的，我需要她。”

但是他马上就不生气了，望着我，微微一笑。

“开始的时候她简直吓坏了。”

“你对她说明了吗？”

“不需要。她知道。我一直没有说一句。她非常害怕。最后我得到了她。”

在他给我讲这件事的语气里，我不知道有一种什么东西，非常奇特地表示出他当时的强烈的欲望。它令人感到惊措不安，或者甚至可以说非常恐怖。他平日的生活方式很奇特，根本不注意身体的需求。但是有些时候他的肉体却好象要对他的精神进行一次可怕的报复。他内心深处的那个半人半兽的东西把他捉到手里，在这种具有大自然的原始力量的天性的掌心里他完全无能为力。他被牢牢地抓住，什么谨慎啊，感恩啊，在他的灵魂里都一点儿地位也没有了。

“但是你为什么要把她拐走呢？”我问。

“我没有，”他皱了皱眉头说，“当她说她要跟着我的时候，我差不多同施特略夫一样吃惊。我告诉她当我不再需要她的时候，她就非走开不可，她说她愿意冒这个险。”思特里克兰德停了一会。“她的身体非常美，我正需要画一幅裸体画。等我把画画完了以后，我对她也就没有兴趣了。”

“她可是全心地爱着你啊。”

他从座位上跳起来，在我的小屋子里走来走去。