THE RING ON MY FINGER

What does the ring on my finger mean? Does it mean I married the man of my dreams? When I took a vow and said "I do"- Was I foolish to trust and believe in you? What made me think my marriage was different- In a world of lust and little commitment? I closed my eyes to what was clearly there- The painful signs of an adulterous affair! Where do my emotions go from here? Do I surround myself with self-pity and tears? Do I continue to pretend that my marriage is great- When in reality I feel I made a big mistake? Do I stay in the marriage for the children's sake? Do I blame myself or do I blame my mate? "God hates divorce", I've heard many say. But, what do you do when your mate goes astray? What do you do when he comes home late, And he no longer wants to communicate? When we no longer connect in spirit and soul. When the physical contact is empty and cold. Do I bury my pain in my kids and career? Do I emotionally shut-down and live in fear? Fearful that someone will hurt me again- Afraid to love and trust again. What does the ring on my finger mean when our marriage bed is defiled and unclean? It's an empty symbol of what use to be, before our marriage was touched with infidelity. The ring on my finger means little to me- Broken promises and dreams that's all I see! "TIL death do us part" is what we vowed. Adultery can kill a marriage somehow! I can't find my marriage. Where did it go? I've looked everywhere, high and low! My search has become like an endless night. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the fight. Daily I pray and I count the cost- Refusing to believe our love is lost. Our love is no longer a flame of fire. Where is that man I once desired? Did I make him up in my foolish young mind? Was I blind to the real you all this time? Did I ignore the alarms in my naive soul and say "yes" to quickly when you proposed? I remember the moment that you said "With this ring I do thee wed." Now we sleep in separate beds. Our intimate times are like the dead! I feel emotionally ripped like an atomic blast! My heart is broken and needs a cast. Adultery has killed the very song I sing! It's more than just a physical thing! Is it over between me and you? Are we one or are we two? Our marriage is struggling, is it too late? Do we let our love die or resuscitate? I'm on the outside looking in, Waiting for our love to bloom again. Adultery has left me angry and bitter. I feel betrayed and emotionally withered! Whether I choose to go or stay- Heal my heart dear Lord I pray. Sandra G. Williams