When I fall asleep by Jessica Lyon-Wall

When I fall asleep by Jessica Lyon-Wall I was 12 when they brought me back. The process Was a slow one, over a year I went unnoticed, Pale, thin, and guzzling My brother's juice in secret. One day I went to sleep And didn't wake up. I don't know how I got there, But I remember some bright lights. Then starched sheets and my teddy,The wires in my hair. They said I had been gone 3 days,Link up my machines, I could be an industry! (This is perhaps a story I should never tell) I'd find my mum in the medicine room, practicing,Stabbing citrus again,But oranges don't bruise and satsumas Don't feel pain.The needles got shorter, the technology refined. They were ever sure They would fix the biology in my lifetime,And find a decent cure.I am fearful, and alone with it. That is how it feels. And if I do sleep, I have the dreams. I settle down, I pull the duvet up,Turn the lamp off, I wonder what my night will bring,Whether my body is done,If the morning will come. Or if it will blossom Into the perfect combination Of sugar and hormones, A day I've never seen before. At the clocks twelfth strike, Now the sun glows Like corridor lights. How I live is this- And this is what it's like.More from Jessica Lyon-Wall ↓@thetrinitypoet on InstagramHer book, Bones, is out nowMentioned in this episode:Write After with One Poem OnlyWrite After is a way to encourage poets to listen and write, and use National Poetry Month to highlight how listening to poetry makes us better poets. I know I write the best when I’m surrounded by beautiful poetry–it’s part of the reason I created this podcast, and I want to encourage others to share this practice. If you want to join: Listen to a poem from the month of April on One Poem Only, then write your own in response. I will pick one for each day to read in June for a special series: One Poem After 🍎🍏 Submissions close May 15.Write After Submissions Form