When Shame Blocks Repair

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action—so that you can make yourself available for repair—and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.Relevant links:Access this episode's companion worksheet hereReimagining Love episode: "Why Can't I Get Over It?"Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or DeceitBrené Brown's TED Talk: Listening to ShameBuilding Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow by Joseph BurgoOrder Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Join Esther Perel's annual clinical conference Sessions Live 2026! Learn in person in Brooklyn, New York or virtually on May 15th and 16th. Use code SOLOMON50 for $50 off a virtual ticket or SOLOMON100 for $100 off in-person. Get your tickets at https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com/Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.