A Little Death

A meditation on junk and a pep talk on being nice to yourself. Recorded with love from the desert 🌵

What happens when a pandemic puts a pause on your Number? (That is, the number of people you’ve had sex with). It’s a bummer. But listen on for some takes.

You know The Prowl: it’s when you’re searching for sex for the very near-term future. Since we’re about to be let back out into the world, we’re about to prowl—hard. Take a minute to make some rules for yourself before you go wild out there. 😎

Love and lust during a 21st century plague, and the value of an abundance of nudes.

This episode is a conversation with my forever crush, Kenneth Play. His new online sex education series—The Sex Hacker Courses—is available now, and the project is extraordinary. Listen on to hear about how and why he made these videos that cover a range of topics, from the psychology of foreplay to the mechanics of squirting. Should you be interested in more, check out the piece I wrote about Kenneth for GQ, called “Pleasure Lessons from the World’s Greatest Sex Hacker.” ✌️

Let’s talk dirty talk, shall we? Listen on for formulas of language in the sack. 😏

Go ahead, go on vacation with a random. Borrowing the good parts of long term relationships can build a great, short-term fantasy from single people.

A review of Sophie Lucio Johnson’s memoir, “Many Love,” and how polyamory fits in with Low Key Dating.

Take time to think about your 2018 sex life, and build your own Sex Roadmap for 2019. Because reflecting on and making resolutions about sex is much more fun than doing it about your bank account.

It’s Season 2 of A Little Death. New episodes coming soon 😎

Karley Sciortino’s “Slutever” empire and Joe Swanberg’s Netflix show, “Easy,” remind us that not all bad sex encounters are existentially and forever bad or damaging. There’s a “good” kind of bad that we tolerate in so many parts of our lives, but we don’t always extend that trial-and-error tolerance to our sex lives. Sciortino, Swanberg, and I (lol presumptuous) are here to tell you that there’s “good” bad sex that’s important and necessary.

There’s an art to having a regular rotation of non-partner partners that you aren’t in a committed relationship with. Enter the Koi Pond metaphor—instead of thinking about “plenty of fish in the sea” that you wade through to find your one perfect person, the Koi Pond is all about catching and releasing babes in non-exclusive setups. If you don’t want a committed partner and you don’t want a series of No-Term Relationships (which I talk about in earlier episodes), but you *do* want to be having sex, then you’re kind of in a Koi Pond situation by default. Here are some tips for maintaining your pond. 😘

Ok, real talk: do you ever get confused and maybe a little bit concerned about what turns you on? Let’s talk about it.

This week’s story about Aziz Ansari brings up issues about consent and agency: how to establish consent and increase your own sexual agency. To do that, we can learn a lot from sex parties. Listen on.

Meet my personal sex and relationships hero: Esther Perel. Her work is globally influential and the conversations she drives can help give you a framework for exploring your own sexuality and desires.

No-Term Relationships are casual, one-time encounters conducted with kindness and self-awareness in a way that integrates the act into your everyday lifestyle. Part 1 describes what these relationships can be and why they’re valuable. In Part 2, we talk about how to make it happen. Listen to learn how to find and have No-Term Relationships like a pro.

Let’s talk about casual encounters. “No Strings Attached” sex might work for some, but there are other options. I call them “No-Term Relationships.” In Part 1 of this episode, let’s get into the difference between the two and talk about how even one hour sexual encounters can be acted out with care.

Give yourself a permission slip to think, fantasize, explore, and try something new. It’s not easy, but sweet babes: it’s worth it.

When the zeitgeist is trash and you can hardly take off someone’s pants without thinking of the patriarchy, how can women enjoy sex? I suggest a FMM threesome, but you do you, babes. 💜

A Little Death, Ep. 01 (👋)