Adoption Uncovered

Dr. Adam Anthony began life as an adoptee from foster care. After getting his education, he centered on the importance he saw in the relationship of a mentor. He had benefitted from being connected to mentors over the course of his life. Now, armed with his own experience and all he has learned, he seeks to bring that support to other young men in foster care. He hopes that with the system of mentorship he has put together, he can help young men succeed in life after foster care. Learn more about what Dr. Anthony has learned and experienced in this episode.

The world that seemed normal to Angela Legg as she grew up didn't look normal to the society that surrounded her. She didn't realize this until she was much older. In her life, she had two loving female caregivers and two brothers who gave her the appropriate hard time for being their little sis. She knew she was a different race from her family and even much of her community, but she didn't see this as something that kept her from being loved, having friends, playing sports, and growing up to be a successful adult.She did eventually connect with her birth family. She found people who had so many similarities to herself and were incredibly welcoming. At the same time, they didn't have the same resources that she grew up with. Their lives had difficulties that Angela's didn't. Angela understands that every family has stresses, disagreements, and challenges. She feels blessed that even with the challenges she faced growing up, she was surrounded by love. She feels a mission to make sure she honors the memory of the strong women who sacrificed to show her love and give her the life she now has. She acknowledges that they were forging a path forward at a time when society didn't understand the relationships her family was embracing.

In this episode, I introduce you to who I am and what my adoption and foster care journey has been like. It has taken me quite a while to reach the point where I was ready to put my background in the spotlight for a few reasons. I was incredibly eager in the early days of Adoption Uncovered to learn from others and start creative discussions about ways to make foster care and adoption better for everyone involved. Focusing on the insight I could gain from others and talking about aspects of foster care and adoption I had no personal experience with seemed far more urgent than talking about myself. It also took me some time to sort out which pieces of my story were mine to tell. My story doesn't just belong to me. It belongs to my adopted kids and everyone else in my immediate family who have been part of the ride. I have journaled about this topic, read articles related to it, and consulted with family members like my husband and my adopted son, who is now an adult. They have given me their blessing to invite you to get to know us better. Welcome into our family, and my life touched by adoption and foster care this time on the podcast.

As adoptive parents, we often try our best to do our research to find a program to adopt through that seems ethical. Sometimes we find out later that the situation our adopted children were in was far more complicated than we initially thought. Marjie Alonso adopted two young boys from Paraguay. The boys were not related, but were four months apart in age. As the boys grew, Marjie found herself seeing behaviors she didn't understand from her adopted boys. Therapists didn't give her the advice that she needed. When she finally took her boys back to Paraguay at their request the interactions she had with their first families caused her to rethink her views on international adoption and how to define a good life. Learn more about her story and her thoughts in this interview.THIS EPISODE CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Parenting is not an easy task. Bryan Post, an adoptee and Therapist, used his own experience as well as research and training to develop a technique that involves what he calls a love-based approach to parenting. This technique considers the attachment children have toward their caregivers, but even more so, centers on the bonding experienced by parents toward the children in their care. Rather than concentrate on changing the behavior of children to conform to adult expectations, Bryan tunes into the stress and trauma parents have experienced that can affect their interactions with their children. Bryan details how stress leads not only to negative behavior in children but also to poor reactions from parents. Love and patience are important keys to connecting and guiding our children. This technique encourages us as parents to breathe and be slow to choose our reaction to our children. Learn more about Bryan’s life and how that has influenced his approach to parenting on this episode.

When Lynelle Long wanted to connect with other international adoptees like herself as an adult, she had a hard time finding them. She decided that there should be a better way for adoptees to connect, so she built it. Now her organization, Inter Country Adoptee Voices, offers a refuge for adoptees all over the world seeking community. Not only does Lynelle seek to connect adoptees so they can support each other, but she also encourages adoptees to educate the rest of us. Lynelle speaks out for adoptee rights and fights for adoptee access to information. She has been influential in encouraging the government of Australia, the country where she currently lives, to reform its role in adoption to include support not only for adoptive parents, but also for adoptees. Learn more about Lynelle’s important work and her ideas about how we can all support adoptees better in this episode.

There is a lot of debate that centers around women who relinquish their children. We talk about who they might be and why they might be making the decisions they are, often without any insight into the reality of their experience. One of the reasons we guess is that there isn't a lot of readily available scientific research to shed light on who these women are beyond anecdotes and assumptions. Gretchen Sisson has done a great deal to close this gap in our knowledge. She is a sociologist who has chosen as her focus of study to look into abortion and adoption-related issues. After hundreds of interviews with women who have chosen to relinquish their children for adoption, she has written a book about her findings. Gretchen is doing her part to introduce us to the lives of these women and help us understand what they are thinking. We can see that these women tell us stories not only about themselves and their families, but also about society and how our systems interact with women in the vulnerable position of an unplanned pregnancy. Get ready to challenge some of your beliefs about adoption in this conversation with Gretchen Sisson.

Jean Widner's adoptee story doesn't start dramatically. She was raised in a stable home with adoptive parents who offered her the basic support that children need to have. As she grew and learned more about her own story and the stories of others in the adoption community, she started to understand how complex adoption can truly be for everyone involved. Eventually, she decided to embark on a project that culminated in her book titled The Adoption Paradox. This episode explores some of the things she researched and discovered in the course of making her book. We talk a bit about adoption history, and Jean speaks to adoptees, first parents, and adoptive parents as well in this episode.

One population of foster children that often doesn't get the right kind of attention is those who age out of foster care. This cliff that youth often fall off of exists due to many factors. Some of the problems are due to the system they are leaving and the resources that are drying up. Some of it is the trauma they have lived through and the instability that has left so many of them lacking basic life skills. Part of the problem is a lack of experienced adults to offer support to fall back on. Maurita McCorkle has seen so many young adults struggle as they leave foster care that she has taken it on as her mission to try to help. Maurita has written a book about her experience and started a non-profit with the goal of surrounding young adults with everything they need to succeed in adulthood, no matter what they have experienced in life up until that point. Find out more about her story and her dreams for the future in this episode.

Marianne Novy was an adoptee who was encouraged to hide that fact and obliged the people around her by keeping quiet about it until she became a college student. Over time she chose to seek out members of her birth family and develop some relationships with some of them. When she became a college professor, adoption became a part of her teaching life, and she also wrote on the topic. Her most recent book compared themes and insights from reading 45 different adoption memoirs. Learn more about this project and how doing this reading and research influenced her ideas about open adoption in this episode of Adoption Uncovered.

Edward Di Gangi didn't feel the pull to search out his first family until later in life. He felt content with the life he was living and it took a series of events to put in his mind the determination to start his search. Once he did start his search he connected with numerous people who were friendly, and generous and helped him along the way. Even though he was too late to meet his first parents in person, he found a wealth of knowledge to tell him what kind of people they were and what they did with their lives. Over time and at the urging of his wife Edward decided to put together a memoir about his search and what he found

Isaac Etter grew up as a black boy surrounded by a loving but also primarily white family. It took him a long time to understand his full identity and how his race affected his place in the world. Over time, Isaac educated not only his adoptive family about race and adoption but also sought to inform other adoptive families. Isaac regularly speaks on topics of race and adoption and offers resources to adoptive parents and other organizations to help them better understand the adoptee's perspective.

Katie Rose Noto always knew she wanted to adopt a child at some point in her life. She imagined a house full of children and dogs. As her life progressed she made the choice to dive into being a foster parent whether she felt fully ready or not. Little did she know that the boys she welcomed into her home had suffered abuse and neglect to the point where they exhibited severe behaviors that she had never seen or heard of. Katie Rose went on a journey she had never imagined finding herself on, and she felt very alone and overwhelmed. Her training didn't prepare her for what she was seeing in front of her. Even though she felt alone she thought there must be others out there that were struggling with children who had severe diagnoses like hers. Katie Rose is determined to try to connect and support others like her. She started Attach Families, INC to connect and support families like hers with a support hotline, support groups and other services that Attach Families offers free of charge. Katie Rose is not done, though. She has big dreams of a world where kids like her sons are supported and cocooned with all the treatments that might lead them to the most productive and happy life they can reach.

When Susan Fedorko was growing up she was content with her life and felt secure and cared for. In the back of her mind, however, this adoptee always wondered about the family that had allowed her to be adopted and who they might be. When Susan reached adulthood she put out her information in the hopes that she would discover her first family. It wasn't until she was 40 that she received a phone call that connected her to her first family. Among the surprises she learned one of them was the truth about her Native American ethnicity and tribal membership. She was one of many Native American adoptees in America who didn't discover their connection until later in life. Thankfully for Susan, she can now celebrate her roots and is working to pass the membership down to her children.

Beth Syverson and her adopted son Joey Nakao have been on a difficult journey for a number of years. They have been facing the issues of addiction and suicidality. In light of these intense topics, some of you may prefer to pass on this episode and listen to a different one for today. If you find you are struggling with suicidal thoughts please dial 988 to talk to someone ready to listen. On this episode, they tell us some of their struggles and go into detail about some of the things that have helped them on their journey. One of the things that has been helpful to them has been sharing their story in the hopes that it will help other adoptees and parents understand better ways to cope with both addiction and suicidality.

There are many Christians in the world of adoption and many of them do wonderful work supporting foster families, and foster children, and making sure children outside of the country who need homes can access them. Some families within Evangelical Christianity have developed adoption practices that attracted the interest of investigative journalist and author Kathryn Joyce. Her book “The Child Catchers” highlights cautionary tales of what can happen if the needs of children and first families are put aside to benefit families willing to pay money to grow their families. This interview and Kathryn’s book include many invitations to spark creative conversations about the state of international adoption a few years ago and how our efforts can be used to help children who need it get into stable homes in the future, whether that is through adoption or via another path.

Most of us have heard bits and pieces about how poorly America has treated the Native Tribes that have lived on this land. We may not understand fully how adoption was weaponized against tribes to raise children who were brought up without a memory of their heritage and culture. As journalist Trace Lara Hentz began to look into her own past as a Native American Adoptee she began to realize how many people like her are out there and alone. This year she is embarking on a project to find out how many adoptees in America and around the world can trace their history to a Native American tribe. Listen to this interview with Trace for more information about how adoption is connected to America's treatment of Native American tribes, and where we should go from here.

Lynn Grubb felt fairly comfortable growing up as an adoptee. Then, when she became an adult she got curious and decided she wanted to find her birth family. The process wasn't smooth for her and she learned a lot along the way. Now that she has discovered where she came from she offers advice to others seeking their past. Lynn also gives back to children in foster care by volunteering as a Guardian ad Litem, also known as CASA. You can find out more about doing DNA searches and volunteering with foster care in this podcast episode.

Patricia Knight Meyer's story seems foreign compared to the happy renditions of adoptive families brought together for happy holiday photos. She was adopted quietly, without proper paperwork. This left her in a state of limbo for a good portion of her life, worried that if anyone looked hard enough she would not be able to prove her identity or her citizenship. Over the course of her life she sought out her birth family, but even that connection was not a simple solution to her problem. Find out about more about how she navigated life without documentation and how her writing helped her process her experience.

When Carlynne Hershberger found out she was pregnant at 19 she could never have known then how that experience would shape the rest of her life. Many women don't. In Carlynne's case she became a victim of the baby scoop era when young pregnant women were hidden away and their babies were taken from them with little consideration for their feelings on the matter and given to other families to raise. Carlynne wants us to be aware that even though the baby scoop era is technically in the past, large pieces of that thinking remain. She believes birth mothers need more support and more options available to them so they can truly consider what is best for them and their children.

Adoption is changing. Technology now makes it possible to adopt the embryos left over from couples who have attempted or succeeded in IVF treatments. Oversight and regulation of this transaction is in its infancy. The people adopting these embryos and those encouraging the idea of the personhood of these embryos are a select group. Where is this practice headed and what does it mean for the children who are conceived through this practice and the couples who could start families this way, but don't have access to this practice yet? These are all questions that still need to be solved as embryo adoption grows. Risa Cromer has been studying embryo adoption as an anthropologist who specializes in reproductive politics at Purdue University. This conversation I have with her sheds some light on where embryo adoption came from and where it might be headed.

Nick Adam's King and his husband began their adoption journey years ago with the adoption of their son. Later they adopted again and their daughter joined the family. Nick helps me understand how adoptions in the UK differ from those in the US. We learn about the ups and downs of their journey and how Nick learned to find his place among the school "Mommy Mafia".

The orphan trains were an early experiment in American history in which well meaning adults in large East Coast cities put children that didn't appear to be in the care of an adult on a train out west to be adopted by farm families . For some children this meant they traded a life of scrounging on the street for food and living out in the elements for a warm bed and regular meals. Other children who were only temporarily without care knew they were leaving whole families behind in the city and didn't want to go. Then there were children who were confused and didn't know which way to turn. Some of the families these children were placed into did give them a warm bed and a spot at the family table. Other children languished in the barn and were treated as indentured help. Looking into America's adoption history can help us see where we have come from and teach us lessons on where we should go. Learn along with us.

JeNae Goodrich was adopted into her own family as a child.  Growing up surrounded by adopted siblings helped prepare her for her life of social work, but she couldn’t have predicted that she would have gotten involved with one of the toughest, most stressful and even controversial sides of adoption. JeNae heads up the KidTeen program at Wasatch International adoption agency. Wasatch has one of the few programs in the country willing to work with families who have already adopted, but find that the child they adopted is not doing well in their home and they might need to place the child in another home. This is one of the more difficult aspects of adoption. What happens when adoptions don't work out? Find our more about this process, the children and families involved and how JeNea navigates all of this trauma to try to bring peace and wellbeing to all involved.

Nadia Levitt was adopted by her loving parents by the time she was seven years old in Australia. She grew up in a caring environment, but when teen angst caught up with her at age 15 she ran away. This traumatic event opened up a whole new side of her adoption story. Nadia has been working through the meaning of adoption for her over the course of her whole life. Even into adulthood her perspective on what adoption means in her life is still changing and growing. Explore Nadia’s story this time on Adoption Uncovered. Then hear the adoption stories Nadia is showcasing on her podcast from Australia: My Unknown Truth.

Laura Orsini didn’t know her life was about to change, but the positive pregnancy test did for her what it has done for so many other women who aren’t expecting or ready for a child. It shocked her brain into planning mode to consider her options for this pregnancy. Once Laura decided on adoption choosing a family was challenging for her, but over time she grew to appreciate her choice. She was grateful that the process was rather smooth for her, but even more grateful for her almost miraculous interaction with the adoptive family and her son later in life.

You don’t have to adopt or be a foster parent to play an important role in helping children stay in stable homes. Lauren runs a ministry in her church that specifically supports foster families within her church and the wider community.

Adoptive Black Mom was busy working on her career and waiting to see if a traditional family would happen for her. This was not what the universe dealt her. As she moved through her life she began to evaluate whether motherhood would be something she would pursue on her own. She decided to move toward adoption and as she did it felt to her that often she was on the outside of a system that was not understanding or supportive of Black adoptive parents like her. She began the Adoptive Black Mom Blog initially to keep friends and family posted on her adoption progress, but over time she realized her audience was growing and she had the chance to be the voice of the Black adoptive parent that she missed hearing along her journey.

We can learn how to change adoption from the stories of those who have been touched by it.

Join in learning about where adoption has come from and where it might go within the life and experience of Jynger Pleasant. Jynger is the Executive Director of Dillon International Adoption Agency based in Tulsa, Oklahoma. When she was young she witnessed families meeting their adoptive children at the airport in the early days of adoption. Over the years she has become involved in managing relations with orphanages, helping families adopt, and then encouraging those adoptive families over time. As we see international adoptions decline in America find out how Jynger views the future of adoptions and what is happening to the orphans who are no longer making their way into American families. 

Hear Ashley's story. Discover what Respite Care is and how her family contributes to foster children's lives by stepping in when other foster families need help. See how Ashley's community comes through for her when she needs them.

Discover how Kathryn and her family navigated the foster care system. Find out what Kathryn has learned about Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, and its affect on her son and many adopted and foster children.