Big Brother's Moose in the Hoose

Paqs your belongings and leave, it's Tim(e) to go and leave us with a crap final 2. Holograms, homos, oh nos and dumbos. A season in review.

Are we dunny yet? Popcorn, awards, shapeshifters, senile, shomi, slapheads, glitter, shitter freak/freeks and Joel goes toodles.

Luscious locks, xenophobia, chips (not the good sort), skunk (not the good sort), eels, animal cruelty, pickles, armies of one, fashion lines and you fell over.

Ringlets, slop torture, prescription drugs, Raul gets bailed, guns for hire, mouse maze, jealousy, memes, Nikki's HOH (we wish), bros before... pros, heart attacks, cry eating, bloody hell, racists and Jesus.

Deliberations, the three headed monster is re-animated, Greek mythology, muffin top, salad, roulette, cancer, cousins, birthday twins, stoppable forces and you have been e-Mitch-ted.

Secret squirrel, gummy koalas, time capsules, armpits, bellybuttons, streaking, bozo noms, bed hopping, BBAU style and love heart hands to our listeners. hippytard redux, boinking, ear wax, plaid, chips, and a hung jury.

Cactus veto, three headed monster, hairballs, pricks, unbreakable bonds, fake eviction and slut shame on you, UK style.

Hackey sacks, baseball bats, volcano, hinky votes, hedge abuse, saliva, vodka and say no to side boob.

A two hour advertisement for washing powder and sofas; no wonder Christine won Power of Veto. A UK flavour, a fart in a jar, 'you might as well put it in', Sharry gets shafted and Loveta gets pucked. Revenge is sweet!

Endemol goes international! Launch week covered! Casinos, wildcards, stereotypes, seat warmers. Who are they? A bunch of bores and two legends. Hats off, Canada, for taking the risk.

Join us as we discuss the finale! Two hours of filler and 25 minutes of bile. Sands of time, the end of the cogs, a pointless Ian Terry, the last gasp of airtime for Jordan, and Godrey's final speech isn't dope enough to slay Sarah. Watch BBUK!

Dirty diapers, cyberdog, King Godfrey reigns, Pilar doesn't get changed, choo choo pain, Quitnee, finally a decent twist and shut up, no you shut up. Anyone but Ashleigh FTW!

Bru-noooooooooo, products that aren't even available in our country shoved down our throats, more shit twists, 100 minutes of hell, counting, the ghost of Abragene, Batman, and where has Big Brother Canada gone wrong this year?

Bye bye Bobby, more furniture pushing, a triple threat, Kevvy wevvy RIP, Bruno makes a boo boo, sssssssnakes, a BDSM sexy party and a weeping Willow.

Bananas, bubbles, one love, champagne, KFC's concentration camp, a squashed moose, flush the veto out, BMEs on the block, and Sindy goes up the apples and pears. Again.

Returning players, knots, New-slaughtered, fort-less, Gruno, girl power, weed, ants and inappropriate eating. Thank you KFC!

Instant eviction, Oxi-clean, real alliances, fake alliances, Abra-sleen, UV pens, tennis, snipers, magazine deals, Kardashian-butts, and a double veto cliff hanger (ish).

Fortress, chop shop, Newport, Gruno, Naha-sayers, snogging, beavers, and Sindy with an E. Ted, stop with the hand signals! We're semaphored out.

It's the Big Brother Canada launch show! There's a vault, there's lasers, there's a button, there's strategy, there's twists, there's mesh, The Brick and a whole house of new people to hate.

It's over! Rocking boats, rickety alliances, BFF blindsides, board games and bile a-plenty. Hundo-percent listener dissatisfaction guaranteed.

Catch up episode! From the instant eviction onwards, gremlins, babies, bible/koran wars and are we nearly there yet?

Jon puts up four people, beer pong, pointless product placement, the goof troup get stfued, and we're starting to like Sabrina. WTF?

A double eviction, sluicing, switching sides, sloppy seconds, a surprise in the air vent and a mouse in the house (ours).

Your HOH reign - hope you're happy with a self-proclaimed fan favourite and chief nose-picker walking oot the door to be abused by Peter Brown. Also: breakdancing. Po po mum. Beavers. Broken buzzers and pointless cliffhangers.

Lacrosse, letters from home, Marsha, Talla (again!?) and you're HOH. Don't fuck it up or we'll flip your mattress, bro.

Ika's HOH catastrophe, man candy, squirrels, sheep, dressing in drag, mustard water, stools from The Brick, drinking and blondism.

Secret houseguests, 80s hair, beards, lies, drinking beer off a step and sliding round like a twonk. Oh, and a table from the Brick. PS: Join our campaign to get #bbbumpops trending on Twitter!

Blockbusting movies! Over elaborate and needlessly stretched out veto competitions! Boring twists! Pricks with beards! Bobbleheads! My favourite in the house being evicted! Hear it all here.

Chickens, secrets, lies, fake crying, non-racism and bald men.

Big Brother Canada episodes 1 and 2 (and sideshow) recapped enthusiastically, apart from all the incessant criticism and griping.Follow us on Twitter and Facebook at 'bigbrotherbile' :)

Big Brother Canada finale! One of the most monumental TV moments of all time. Epic fail.Looking forward to season two... if it does come!

Weds, Thurs and Sunday's episodes ummed and ahhed over.

I did not know that.http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.co.uk/Hats off, BBCan, you've been amazing. Twist and shout!

Thanks dear listeners, we love you. http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.co.uk/

Sorry for the belligerence, we were drunk.

A twist too far? They've gone twist crazy! Everything from Suzette getting the boot to Topaz's cursed HOH. I blame the dressing gown of doom. http://lightupvirginmary.blogspot.co.uk/

Marsha, Tom, veto twist, double eviction, Twatrro, all treated with the respect they deserve.

Better late than never... a UK view on BB Canada. Arise, sir Cox. Check out our second episode for even more up to date nonsense.