Clocking the Nation

It's a thiccy so we have two parts for y'all. Lawmakers have been so busted the house that Harvey Levin has opened a TMZ bureau in DC to track down lawmaker CUNKS like Ted Cruz, Lindsay Graham, and Eric Swalwell. Swalwell in particular has been getting his dirty laundry aired out, with leaked bideos and images that caused him to resign in disgrace. Elizabeth Warren made one of the best social media posts of the year with a graphic declaring that she has questions for MrBeast. Companies are embracing AEI, aka DEI for AI, by uploading these bots into everything. Allbirds, in particular, has gone from soy-green armpit-hair shoes to offering "GPU as a Service," or GAAS for short.

Howdy girls, we're back for another episode with our cast of viewsmaxxers. It's clear the veil between X and our soyciety has officially lifted, and the monsters + DOGE designers are spilling out to dictate news and policy. James Fisback, a candidate for Florida Governor, is a right-wing troll gaining steam with College Rethuglicans and America Firsters, he's gone viral for his proposed sin tax on OnlyStans creators. Clavicle is also catapulting to mainstream views, being mentioned on dusty news shows and getting parodied on SNL. Elon Musk is back on his bullshiz on X, tweeting every three seconds and sharing chibi henlo anime AI MESS with Nicki Minaj. Marc Andreessen gets flamed on X for an unflattering photo edit of his egghead and for saying that he has no introspection while on a dusty podcast. It's clear our society is internetmaxxing, but lowkey in the worst way.

Oh hentie, it's a mess out here in 2026. Your hosts kick off their first episode of the year with a deep dive into the World Economic Forum, a collection of globalist dusties in Davos, Switzerland to share their worst ideas. Alex Karp of Palantir took the stage to rehabilitate his image, and Elon Musk went alien for views as he tries to seem palatable to European fuglies. A recent release of Epstein files revealed that Elonka was begging to visit PDF island, but was turned away by Ghislaine Maxwell. Our theory was proven that the deep state haaaates him and his DOGE Designers. In the USA, we continue to fall victim to MESS. Erika Kirk and Candace Owens are at it again, claiming that they see Charlie Kirk when they astral project at night. Bari Weiss's CBS Evening News host Tony Dokoupil has tanked the program's ratings by 25% over last year, effectively putting the show in the ground. You know Mizz Bari is Free Pressed. And a new meme page has entered the chat, as Torta Coin takes off on Insta, netting more likes clicks and shares than the Free Press has ever gotten in its lifetime. Men will have Tortas or NADA! Enjoy sisterz.

We've gotta close out the ran thru year of 2025 with another thick drop, our LONGEST yet. America's Widow, Mizz Erika Kirk, had an interview with CTN fav Bari Weiss that is making the rounds online. Her primetime town hall on CBS News captured her odd behavior, switching from being happy and cheery to what some are saying is a demonic presence...your hosts explore. The Piers Morgan show can't stop being the peak humiliation ritual on the internet. This time, Piers brought on Congressional candidate Valentina Gomez, who had a train ran on her by a group of dusties on Zoom for being racist towards Muslim people. Nick Fuentes also appeared on the show to talk about being a virgin. We clock the next guest Piers should have, Ryan Williams, aka @koreanscott on X, who is a pick me for dusty English views. The New York Times Summit was an absolute disaster, with Palantir CEO Alex Karp having a full tweak sesh on stage. Meanwhile, Gavin Newsom sat on the iconic chair in a way that had people on X questioning his persuasion. And Free Press staff writer, Olivia Ringold, makes another appearance, this time for the cold email that got her hired by Bari. All you gotta do to get hired at the Free Press is call NYC dirty and shid on the libz. Enjoy and Happy New Year!!

Hey hentai, it's a blessing to be back. Your fav hosts have been battling demonic forces IRL and triumphing, and we're excited to share more with y'all. Obviously, at the top of the list are more antics by Bari Weiss' Free Press, which is obsessed with Ozempic and Zohran Mamdani. We clock TFP Staff Writer Olivia Reingold, who has a terminal case of ZDS (Zohran Derangement Syndrome), and Susie Weiss, sis of Bari, who has a fixation on everyone's weight. We gotta hand it to Bari tho, she knows how to sprinkle sprinkle the establishment tech dusties. Palantir CEO Alex Karp is going ranthru in the media circuit, begging for views and tanking engagement rates on every platform his face appears on. That's what you get for being the IT department for mess. We also talk about Bryan Johnson, the I wanna live forever guy, who can't stop tweeting about taking shrooms. Strap in and strap on, this one's a doozy.

This country is a giant MEZZ. Your gworls are back with a severe clocking of the Deep State. We take a look at Miss Bari Weiss, Founder of conservacuck outlet the Free Press. She's been tapped to lead CBS News into the corporate abyss. We explore her background and ties to Palantir, one of the largest sources of evil in our soyciety. CTN investigates the University of Austin, a private university founded by Weiss and Palantir Co-Founder Joe Lonsdale. The school is nothing for views with 90 students but pumped with VC funds and a syllabus that includes Palantir CEO Alex Karp's fugly book The Technological Republic. We talk about how the school is propping corporate dusties up for SEO views. All of this plus the debacle playing out on cable news, Jimmy Kimmell, The (Nothing4) View, and Bill Maher. Enjoy!

On this August edition of CTN, your hosts dive face first into the failed libs drooling while our country sinks deeper into its corporate crypt. Andrew Cuomo's social media team is flopping while trying to attack Zohran Mamdani for living in a rent stabilized apartment. We clock how Cuomo sounds turnt in recent videos, and how his campaign is prolapsing online. Minority Speaker Hakeem Jeffries is a total thot on Instagram and X with photoshopped pics of his waist, crotch, and shoulders henny. Those lines are warped affff, hire an intern babe. And Pete Buttigieg is going azz up for Izzzrael, it's not looking cute for these establishment girls. And in the marketing world, Sydney Sweeney and American Eagle told us how jeanz are passed downnnn from parensss to ossspring, and girl their sales tanked. Elf Cosmetics also went desperate for views, hiring comedian Matt Rife to sell makeup even tho he makes jokes about DV. Our theory is that if you go woke you broke, and if you go anti-woke you go HELLA broke. And lastly, poor Grok got suspended on X for clocking Netanyahu, Elonka, and Dump yet again. THIS ONE IS THICCCC, so enjoy!DONATE FOR GAZA AID:https://www.instagram.com/operationolivebranch/https://www.instagram.com/projectwater.melon/https://www.instagram.com/sulalaanimalrescue/

WE'RE BAAAACK to clock this fugly timeline. Zohran Mamdani's upset win in the NYC Democratic Mayor Primary has everyone's undies in a twist, especially Blue MAGA. After flopping to get in Andrew Cuomo's dusty house, they're hoping that Eric Adams will save them with his nothing for views get ready with me's on Reelz. Piers Morgan hosted a Google Meet zircle jerg with a DNC dusty, skeletor Rudy Giuliani, Geraldo Rivera (?), and Cenk Uygur desperate for view. Palantir Founder Peter Thiel prolapsed on Ross Douthat's dusty New York Times podcast, going full technofasc and calling Greta Thunberg the antichrist. All of this plus some sus selfies from Manny MUA and Drake.

Hello Dubaiiii. Welcome to the Shahs of Sunset edition of CTN, where we clock how everyone and their mother is going Habibi for a view and a coin henny. Dump went on a tour to the Middle East, snagging coins, views, and planes. Elonka, feeling left out and debunked by shareholders, is making deals with Saudi Arabia, uploading his Starlink mess into their server. Their Minister of Communications and IT, Adullah Alswaha, will do ANYTHING for a PayPal dusty view or coin. David Saggs and Marc Andreessen go busted for views on podcasts and group chats. Piers Morgan is inviting every single fugly on the internet to appear on his show, we clock Lily Gaddis, Ye + Sneako, and more of the busted guests he milks for clicks. And Ethan Klein is going feral over Hasan Piker, who called his wife BUSTED for international criminal views.DONATE:https://www.instagram.com/operationolivebranch/https://www.instagram.com/projectwater.melon/https://www.instagram.com/sulalaanimalrescue/

Miss Bonnie Blue recently set a record for being the most ranthru person on planet earth, clocking over 1k guys in 12 hours. She can't help but be anything8views on social media and even on local news shows. South African PayPal Dusties and other billionaire friends are lining up to Bonnie Blue all of us. Peter Thiel finally gets the clocking he deserves on this show, along with his other South African besties. Dump's tariff debacle has caused him to lose support from his stans Bill Ackman, Ben Shapiro and Dave Portnoy. Dave can't help but keep crying about his crashing portfolio on X, making him regret riding the Dump train. And of course, there's Elonka Musk who is now exiting the Dump admin, leaving his legacy of the two most ranthru months in recent government history. He clashes with Peter Navarro on tariff policy and also streamed Path of Exile 2 on X, where he got cyberbullied to oblivion. Listen in for a clockable update on the state of zoyziety.

Sorry it's been a minute gworls, we're excited to return with a thick episode filled with hilarious takes on the top stories of our busted nation. Elonka has been getting clocked, from White House meetings to Tesla dealerships nationwide. His musty outfits and behavior have been having real world consequences, we investigate how he's trying to clean up his act. JD Vance has also been getting blown out all over the internet, with edits of his face flooding our feeds following a testy meeting with Zelenskyy. The media landscape has been negative for views with the pundits these days, we clock how Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy is now a regular fixture on Fox Business. CEO of JP Morgan, Jamie Dimon, has become work from home's biggest opp, saying it ruins business and should be abolished. Meanwhile, he thinks DOGE and Elonka is Einstein-level behavior...okay goya. And of course, we can't forget to dip into the Nunuverse for some Ash Trevino and Jefa tea updates. Miss Jefa attempted to host a meet and greet "with chips for the exclusives." All of this AND so much more. Enjoy!

This soyciety is getting FUGLY THE HOUSE. In this episode, your girls clock the rise of the tech bro from nothing for views to taking over the inauguration. Elonka has been on a Yahtzee bender, giving salutes, calling into far-right German parties, and promoting mess on X. Even his own AI, Grok, thinks he's busted, especially after he got exposed for faking his video game prowess. Dusty Bill Gates has been feeling irrel, so he's decided to run to the media to talk about his failed marriage, doing drugs, and most likely having autism. Ashley Trevino has been at it again, this time meeting up with frenemy Jefa in NYC and bringing bed bugs with her. Witnesses on TikTok live saw one crawling on her pillow case, and others filmed exterminators entering her Texas home. And lastly, Bill Maher had anti-aging zealot Bryan Johnson on his show for an interview turned one-sided rant by a turnt Maher. They talk Nunu Banana data and retaining their youth.

The much-anticipated Part 2 of the NUNU GAMES has arrived (y'all really seem to like this drop!) People are so desperate for views that they're begging while behind bars. Diddy is allegedly PISSED that Luigi is way more popular than him with other inmates, especially since he's innocent, he says. You wanna know how it smellll?????? Ask George Santos, he know it smell wellllll. He also made it known that Matt Gaetz has a busted mug. We clock how these failed congresspeople are trading makeup tips on their little TV shows. The US military is BLOWN all the way out, with favorability at an all-time low. Their solution? Spend budget to recruit viewers from the Kelly Clarkson and Jennifer Hudson shows...lol. And then we haaaad to spill the tea on miss Jumi B Bello, an alleged author with a knack for plagiarism. Whew, everyone is DESPERATE for views in this installment of the Nunu Games.

Happy New Year goyals! We're kicking off 2025 with a two-part special to keep you fed. To start, we talk about how the year is getting off to a bumpy start, with attacks, disasters, and billionaire mess. We deep dive into Mark Zuckerberg's broification and make over of Meta to further dupe Elonka's house. Elonka Musk has been ruffling feathers over in MAGAland with his support of Vivek's H1B visa tweet. Even Dump is getting annoyed, reportedly saying he's tired of having him over at his house all the time and that he hates the AI memes of him kissing President Musk's feet. And then we clock miss Ash Trevino, the evil queen of TikTok Live, who recently released her hit song NUNU. We are truly living in a culture that celebrates mess.DONATE TO HELP LA FIRE VICTIMS: https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2025-01-08/how-to-help-victims-of-pacific-palisades-eaton-and-hurst-firesRESOURCES FOR MUTUAL AID: https://www.instagram.com/p/DEjhEgiRE9y/?hl=en

Oooh girl this may be our best episode yet! The universe gifted us with a buffet of busted the house to feast on. Our fav work from home senator John Fetterman Zoomed into The View to share the dustiest takes. He says Biden should also pardon Dump and that Elon and Vivek are gonna drain the swamp with DOGE. Morning Joe has a total meltdown on air after his viewers accuse him of kissing Dump's ring during his trip to Mar-a-Lagos. Ted Cruz even piled on, saying he was giving kisses down low, which is ironic because Cruz eats Dump's house every chance he gets. We, of course, clock the tea surrounding UnitedHealthcare CEO pewpewer Luigi, who has everyone's kitties roaring on the timeline. And we dig into some of Daily Mail's coverage of Biden and Dump, and how they play equal opportunist for views with the shadiest SEO headlines of all time.

Welcome to the official launch of S2 of Clocking the Nation! Your gurls are back on the busted beat, bringing you the biggest stories on this ran thru, blown out Nation. We're entering Dump 2.0, and we're seeing our predictions and theories from Season 1 take shape right before us. From Elon buying out the country and going full psycho on X, to the manosphere podcasts soaking up more views than legacy media. We start with Elon, who is posting on 10 different X accounts every 5 minutes, what's happening on his fake profiles? Then a rabid Cenk Uygur of the Young Turks goes on a nothing4views rant about Dump and the Dems. Nick Fuentes pepper sprays a 57-year-old vegan activist who showed up at his doorstep to chat and it reminded us of attending UC Berkeley. Then on TikTok, Don Lemon has claimed a permanent spot on our FYP as he goes live every single day to debate the goyas for views. Enjoy and get ready for mess on and off the pod!

Welcome to our SZN finale goyals! We're gearing up for our new fall era, so we wanted to cap off the first season of CTN with a big thank you to all of you. To start, your hosts dive into their origin stories and how growing up as outcasts pushed us to become chronically online girlies with a sense of humor. We also HAVE to clock the Nickocado Avocado tea, everyone thinks he's some mastermind, when we know he was busted from the jump. We share OG tea on him and his impulsive behavior and give our take on why he isn't some gifted marketing genius. Everyone else is trying to Nickocado us as well, we talk Crumbl cookies, Laura Loomer, and Elon Musk who are all encouraged to be thicc and busted for views. Give this one a listen girls, we come for all the Alpha mess destroying the planet.

Welcome back to a new episode goyals! We have all lived through multiple historical events and are entering an even cvntier timeline. To start, we dig into our FAV k!ller, Kyle Rittenhouse aka BustedTheHouse, who was getting eaten alive by MAGAs on X. Why? Because he was casting a ballot for Rand Paul instead of Donald Dump. Speaking of Dump, he took a massive shid on stage at the NABJ, we dissect his latest meltdown for views. And then we clock how crazies like Elon Must and JK Rowling are using The Olympics and trans people for views and likes from weirdos. Then we dive into Bill Maher's Club Ranthru podcast, where he interviews Hawk Tuah girl and serves creepy boomer uncle. We watched his show so you don't have to, and it is even DUSTIER than his primetime program. Enjoy!

Girlies, we're back with an episode right before our last Independence Day. Your co-hosts hit hard on the right-wing brainrot that's taking over our feeds and country. Miss Lily Gaddis has busted the universe on TikTok for views; we clock how her trad wife shtick is flopping because she's too nuts. Donald Trump and Joe Biden went toe to toe in the moldiest debate on Earth. We dive into how Trump is drumming up support online by being anything for views with Logan Paul on TikTok. The right has its own late-night host, Greg Gutfeld, who is going to bring his comedic "talents" to the RNC. We also eat up Justin Timberlake's mid-life crisis, which is long overdue.Thank you for continuing to listen to our show as the simulation gets more fugly for views. We hope we can continue to bring some joy even in these unprecedented times. We're linking some fundraisers for people in need in G*aza; this humanitarian crisis is far from over. Please share if you can!DONATE TO PAL FOLKS: https://www.canva.com/design/DAGA5CUo4XY/st9ZNp9euX6GIiPYk1Z-Ag/view?utm_content=DAGA5CUo4XY&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=editor#119HIRE PAL FOLKS: https://www.canva.com/design/DAGBM9cvVXk/3sMfA9gQL8e-IPeITc_otA/view?utm_content=DAGBM9cvVXk&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=ed

Ooooweeee, another spicy drop for the goyals. We discuss the ran thru foods, vibes, and health issues plaguing ALL of our houses, no matter how healthy you think you are. While we're all thick and sick, we can take part in the many low-vibrational activities this country has to offer. OpenAI is adding more mess to the fire, considering whether people can use ChatGPT to generate smut and profane material. Our politicians are now coming out as openly ran thru, with RFK Jr. admitting to having brain worms. The spat in the house over eyelashes and Marjorie's bad built butch body is leading all the dusties to share their opinions. We clock John Fetterman, Joe Scarborough, and Hillary Clinton's fugly takes on cable.

Our HIGHLY anticipated part 2 of mess is here! We expose the depth of America's love for plastic and how it has infiltrated all of our ussies. Instead of fixing our PFAS problem, the Supreme Court is spending its time finding new ways to bust on the homeless. Techies are further lowering our vibrations by releasing mess into the world and draining it of any meaning. Bill Maher is back with probably his fugliest take yet, and we had to rip em a new hair system. Thankfully, Camilla Cabello is dropping gems and keeping the girls fed with her Y2K weave. Enjoy loves, another new ep coming soon.

We've got a treat for the guys, the first of a two-part CTN special. In this episode, we cover the state of udder guzzlers in our nation and give you a Duolingo lesson on our mess. There's also no forgetting Kevin Leonardo, who is turning right-wing for views. We clock his Jeffree Star era. Then we talk about the Swiftie brain rot epidemic busting the planet. Elon Musk flopping the house as cybertrucks are recalled and shareholders question his house. People are so down bad and indoors that they're hentai-ifying Marc Zuckerberg with AI thirst traps. We also clock the O-face addiction taking over Hollywood.

Spring is here with new tea to clawk. Don Lemon and Elon Muss had the most nothing for views interview for the premier of the lemon show. It went so poorly, Miss Musk had Lemon's contract with X terminated. Doing laundry in one of these dusty cities is a new ring of demonic terror. Fighting over machines and letting your molds get moldy, it's a recipe for cottage cheese. We also clock how musty men are spreading their mildew on every dating app, and how the hatfishing epidemic has even spread to the highest levels of the British monarchy. And the biggest story of the week, Alex Jones lets us all know via Canva graphic that he's coming to eat our leftist ussies.

The timeline is getting dustier by the week goyas. AI has only become more anything4views. We discuss how it could lead to global annihilation in the near future if we let tech bros continue to have their way with the world. Blue MAGA is having a meltdown over anyone who calls out Joe Biden's advanced age, including Jon Stewart, who returned to the Daily Show furious about the rematch of the oldest candidates in history. Donald Dump unveils a pair of tacky red bottoms after getting fisted with a $450 million bill from a Manhattan judge. We dive into the Ned's Declassified Podcast, where the hosts talk about giving brain on set. And lastly, Jason Nash of the David Dobrik Vlog Squad has been getting flamed for begging for coins on TikTok battles.

Lady Liberty is looking pretty ran through these days. We're back with a new episode to clock the crusty state of affairs in this country. Justin Timberlake is trying to reboot his dying career to no avail. John Fetterman steps out on the town looking musty amidst his failing marriage and pandering to right-wing views. Speaking of which, we've got a bone to pick with Blue MAGA. Candace Owens clutches her pearls to Ice Spice's short song, and Nicki Minaj gets a case of brainworms and eats Ben Shapiro house. At the end of the day, it looks like everyone is defending some hairy gray ussy.

Hey goyalz, happy 2024 to every one of y'alls. It's officially one year of CTN, and we're celebrating with a thicc clocking to kick off election season. The Epstein List dropped, and we took a look. We bag on some of the hoes but dig deeper into Miss Alan Dershowitz, former Epstein and Trump lawyer. We have to say it: January 6th was a major flop this year in particular. Hear our theory on why it was so nothing for views despite Democrats' desperate attempts to milk it for every like, click, and share. And did you know Joe Biden has a formidable challenger? The founder of the Young Turks is trying to give his dusty azz a run for his money.

Your girls are back with a new episode taking on the busted, corrupt state of affairs in this country. We cover George Santos being anything for a dollar, click, or share on Cameo. He was hired to make a video by none other than Senator Dusty himself, John Fetterman, to bash an X account with no views. Kyle Busted the House released a book that's tanking hard on the Kindle charts, and we did a deep dive investigation into Fabio and discovered that he's become busted for right-wing views. All of this, and some personal drama, on a jam-packed episode.

Our 20th episode is here!!! Ah! In this one, we revisit Ana Navarro's busted house as she makes headlines again for thirsting after Maluma. Then, we take a deep dive into Doja Cat's boyfriend J. Cyrus, who posts the most dry, crumbly cookie reviews ever made on Instagram. They're nothing for friggin viewsss. And in this one, we get a bit more personal and share our journeys with acne and body image.

Conservative host of The Nothing for View, Ana Navarro, stirred up drama when she said that Jada Pinkett Smith is holding Will Smith emotionally prisoner. But how can Jada hold him hostage when she doesn't even know who he is? And if you haven't heard of Lex Fridman, you need to get up to speed. His popular show, which we call the Lex Fridman Experience, is known for having some of the most busted guests around, and your CTN hosts couldn't help but clock. Speaking of busted people getting views, school shooters are now becoming influencers on TikTok. And one woman on TikTok also went viral after locking herself in her date's car and recording him for taking her to The Cheesecake Factory.

Enjoy a new episode of our end-of-summer recording sesh, with new glitz and glam production. In part dos, we dig into the male hysteria that's gripping the planet. Starfield, a space RPG by Bethesda Studios, is triggering thumb-looking men because it offers pronouns in character select. In particular, some guy in the UK named Heelsvsbabyface has a complete meltdown over it, so we you already know we had to clock. Cuckservatives are triggered at Canada's alcohol recommendations of two drinks a week and are taking aim at Biden's "Alcohol Czar" over the potential of a similar unenforceable recommendation in the US. Then, we clock Billy anything-for-a-view Porter, who simultaneously fumbled his bag and view counter by beefing with Anna Wintour.

Hey gworls, got a little snack for y'all to to nibble on so your blood sugar doesn't go insane while we're a little 2 week vacation. Here's Part 1 of our latest episode, Part 2 out mañana. In this one we discuss the latest TikTok creep to be exp0sed, none other than the queen of unbothered- Miss Rodger Cleye herself, who vanished from TikTok last week.. Plus, the brogrammers are spilling the tea on Austin, Texas girl and it's not looking too cute. What they thought would be a bastion of tech, innovation, art and free speech in the American South is quickly turning into a dust bowl filled with salty gentrifiers eating TexMex. And don't worry, we didn't forget to look into the Burning Man mess, lots of crossover research there. And FINALLY, we talk why Bumble's trying to make ghosting illegal. 

Sorry we're late goyas we've been traveling and making mogul moves. On our latest episode, we give you an update on some of the messiest girlies on the right. Miss Pearly Davis got clocked on live TV for everyone to see, Candace Owens interviews Andrew Tate's busted house, and Margarine Taylor Greene shows Hunter Biden's noods to Congress. On the GOP primary front, Trump is busy getting indicted and fat-shaming Chris Christie. Meanwhile, Ron Desantos, the latest slavery influencer, is busy flopping because New Hampshire voters would literally rather vote for a man in prison.

The summer heat is cranked high and the girls are acting up in this latest episode. Elon Musk is reeling as Zuck launches Threads, an unseasoned version of Twitter, which grew to over 100 million users. Chris and Karina clock their feud for views and attention. Your hosts also discuss how Mr. Beast and Ice Spice may have more in common than meets the eye, Logan Paul's energy drink is under investigation, and why Trump is lamenting that Hunter Biden didn't get the death penalty. And lastly the story of the month, sex education influencer Kevin Leonardo is baring it all on YouTube the HOUSE. Enjoy these important updates you won't get on Fox News or CNN, sweetie.

Hot goya summer is in full effect! Chris and Karina are back with a hilarious episode where they dive deep into the Bloomberg portal to clock the latest tea. Conservatives are getting mad at ketchup and mustard, Elon Musk is trying to recruit Rachel Maddow while stanning the Unabomber, and AI Mr. Krabs is addicted to drugs.  Also, Jeffree Star gets swatted the houssseee after a TikTok live with Terri Joe and Trump is talking himself into jail. Your fav hosts clock it awwwwl. Enjoy! <3

Hey y'all we're back with a jampacked show all about blowing out the dust from this raggedy country! We discuss how our government is being used as hospice care, George Santos is being unjustly persecuted on behalf of shoppers everywhere, and Yeonmi Park is spreading tall tales about North Korea's dust policies. Get into this mess, we'll give you the energy you need to start your hot girl summer.

This was an eventful week in the news media! Don Lemon and Tucker Carlson get the axe; we discuss the drama and where they may end up next. The tea is PIPING, so we cool down with a Starbucks Oleato, the new drink that's sending people to the bathroom all over America. Alec Baldwin was acquitted of all charges in the death of Halyna Hutchins, leading his wife Hilaria to post a fugly Instagram photo of them. We clock every detail of that mess. Then we end with a stop at Austin, Texas, where Joe Rogan's Comedy Mothership has landed, supposedly providing a safe haven from cancel culture.

We're back with our best episode ever! And yes, we say that every time because every time it's true. We start with a trip off the Las Vegas strip where people are playing up tropical for views. An update from Donda on how the school is literally a cult. Then Chris and Karina clock Candace Owens for calling Jojo Siwa lesbian for views. We end off with a man who claims that Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner took his every last penny, leaving him to be anything for views for coin online. That and SO MUCH more in this week's episode!

This week we discuss the Trump indictment and how it's essentially the thesis of this entire show. Trump's desperate azz may become a passport bro, a group of men from TikTok and YouTube who are leaving America to get women abroad. We clock how these guys are getting rejected even from the poorest regions. And then speaking of scammers and flops, we discuss how we got banned from Postmates. Enjoy our best episode yet girlies!

This week, we clock superficiality in the metaverse and IRL. Palmer Luckey, inventor of Oculus VR, has made a new headset that combusts your entire badussy. We touch on the Oscars, where Michelle Yeoh sent a powerful message to Don Lemons everywhere. Then we take a dive down a Twitter rabbit hole to learn why libs are getting mad about Ron DeSantos' Navy days. Strap in for an epic clocking, girl.

We're back with our first episode of March, get ready because your girls went full political the houz. The wonky FDA busted on Elon for wanting to implant chips into our brains. Elon also threw a tantrum over ChatGPT being woke for not saying slurs to prevent a nuclear winter. Ron DeSantos paid a visit to the duuuusty Reagan library to spread his mess and collect California coins. Republicans are salty that Zelensky doesn't turn out looks and only wears Home Depot clothes. We clock all of that and more in this hilarious, jam-packed episode. Enjoy girlies!

The girlies are redpilling again! Don Lemon, Chris Cuomo, and Jeffree Star have more in common than you think. Their astronomical flops have pushed them further to the Right as they become desperate for views. Then after paying homage to UC Berkeley royalty, Chris and Karina put on their Big Red Boots and stomp out of their Democrat Run Cities and into the astral realm.

So many feuds to unpack this week! Ron DeSantos and Trump go toe to toe in what could become a competitive Republican primary. Falsie flop Mikayla Nagueira gets a coveted invite from Jeffree Star to be buried at his YikYak farm. Busted billionaires Bill Gates and Elon Musk mud wrestle for the last dose of Ozempic. And America is shook to its very core by a foreign hot air balloon.

The beauty girlies are at it again Knives Out style. Makeup guru Mikayla Nogueira is accused of gluing false eyelashes in her latest L'Oreal sponsorship and Jeffree Starr pounced on it as an opportunity for views. Speaking of Miss Starr, she unfollowed Rich Lux (frenemy of the pod) and is getting cozy with the NFL. Then, Elon Musk makes a couple of surprising admissions, making Chris and Karina hate him 1% less.

This one's a doozy, dolls. We step into Miss George Santos's heels to understand why she lies so much. Prince Harry takes us on a personal tour to todger town as we recount some of the Freudian slips that made it into his published book "Spare." Then we head over to WeHo, where 6 gay men are fighting for their lives because their awful show took airtime away from Rupaul's Drag Race. Lastly, we end with a meal at Noma, supposedly the best restaurant in the world that's shutting down for good.

We're back with the second part of our special this week! Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders has banned the word "Latinx" in Arkansas as her first order of business. Tucker Carlson throws a hissy fit over the new plus-size M&M and throws neck for Alex Jones in leaked texts. And the Pillsbury Doughboy comes out as non-binary...in Chris and Karina's imagination.

We're back with longer episodes and part one of a double feature! What DON'T we cover in this episode? AI takes center stage; we heard there's a new robot that can blow your back out. Gwen Stefani also got her 23 and Me results in, and guess what? She's 100% delusional! As a bonus, we talk about Tory Lanez, Tumblr, and OkCupid the house.

A long time ago in a busted galaxy far, far away...the United States Space Force has a scandal involving a chartreuse mankini. Chris and Karina are back with long-awaited intergalactic tea to spill, and girl we're just getting started! From Miss Roger Stone and Alex Jones, to Sims 3 and right-wing scrutiny of drag shows, we cover it all in this episode, honey.

Today we take you on a journey to MAGAville, aka Truth Social, as we infiltrate to uncover mess. It's Kurtains for Sinema as she exits the Democratic party, the New York Times is gooped by Elon, and Brittney Griner is freed and conservatives are predictably angry the house.

Welcome to Episode 1 where right out the gate we go for some of the most busted men in the biz. Donald Trump hosts a star-studded dinner party at Mar-a-Lago, Elon Musk gets catty the house on Twitter, and Alex Jones tries to pay off his massive amount of debt with some bourbon.

Political influencer culture is ripe for a takedown, and we're ready to clock some houses. In this intro, learn what Clocking the Nation is all about and how we met. Then we give a quick dictionary sesh to teach you about how we dissect the mess. Get ready for the gayest podcast in the metaverse.