Crisco Couture

Before hopping on a private jet to Malta, Blaine takes a moment to record a message for her fans.

Blaine has big news... big, terrible news!

Blaine sends out a heartfelt musical birthday greeting to her personal assistant, Paula.

By popular demand, here it is! My exclusive performance from the Peterson-Duff Wedding Afterparty! This ought to hold you the fuck over until we get new episodes... and if not, well fuck you, I never promised you consistency!

Blaine joins up with her church choir, The Pear Valley Peaches, to record a touching and joyous Easter cantata. Let your spirits be lifted, you common trash!

Blaine, acting as an advocate for women everywhere, takes on how we as a society treat miscarriage. Banned in Utah, obviously.

Blaine, exiled from Macguffy Heights, doesn't want to talk about it.

Another exciting installment of A Fine Home! In today's A Fine Home, Blaine tackles the following subjects: Decor: Don't pay a fortune to live like a dirty hippie! Let Blaine give you tips on Bohemian style! Gardening: Sun Lamps! They're important! Cuisine: Blaine shares her dear friend Marigold's St. Patrick's Day Mint Sugar Cookies! Also featuring this month's tablescape predictions and a "special" guest appearance from that bitch, Concepción!

Blaine helps two middle American gals deal with their men. Brought to you by Anease, Americans' Lube.

Blaine has moved back into Douglas' home in Macguffy Heights. She's trying to pick up right where she left off, but she's having some difficulty getting the staff to make the transition...

Watch and amaze as Blaine's golden parachute magically transforms into a golden Vera Wang wedding dress.

Blaine's hot new home living and style segment! Today's topics include... Home Decor: Love that Tuscan Style? Let Blaine show you how! Gardening: Blaine's winter gardening tips! Cocktail Time: Blaine shares her friend Maryanne's Peanut Butter Cup Mochatini recipe!

Blaine answers two letters in the first installment of our new feature, Wanton Wisdom.

Blaine's financial future looks bright as she cashes in on the rising trend of memetically mutated crap!

SEASON FINALE! As 2009 comes to a close, Blaine discusses what is in store for the Crisco Couture for its 2010 season. She also takes a moment to extend her gratitude to those that volunteered for Operation Christmas Child, and shares just why this particular charity is so important to her, in a way that only she can.

A touching holiday special for all! Blaine captures the magic of Christmas with a medley of Holiday favorites interspersed with heartwarming anecdotes.

Blaine gets back into the dating game with three very lucky men.

Blaine shares with us her four secrets on how to live glamorously while adhering to a strict budget.

Blaine works through her issues by recording a cover of the Donna Summer version of Mac Arthur's Park on Douglas' voice mail.

Berstrom's Paddle Wax presents today's episode, as Blaine reveals a secret that she has been struggling to hide since the end of September.

... Only without Ryan Seacrest fussing with his buttplug during commercial breaks.

Blaine recovers from extensive surgery, and goes to a family reunion.

All you need to know about this episode is that Charlize Theron can suck it.

Has your man lost interest in sex? Blaine has some advice you simply can't miss.

Blaine comes to the defense of her favored actress and soul sister, Gwyneth Paltrow.

Blaine discusses women's issues, from the perspective of a strong Christian woman who occasionally qualifies as a gay man when in need of male privilege.

Blaine discusses her take on acts of charity, and offers beauty advice.