PODCAST · fiction
Crudely Drawn Swords - A Dungeon World Actual Play Podcast
by Crudely Drawn Swords
An actual play podcast of high adventure, low dice rolls and intermediate levels of terrible puns in which five old friends imagine ourselves to be dynamic and exciting heroes in a game of Dungeon World. Crudely Drawn Swords is a long-term campaign following a team of heroic(?) adventurers as they follow a quest that will take them through strange lands, across dangerous seas and on perilous journeys through unknown regions. If you are a fan of podcasts like Friends at the Table, The Adventure Zone, Critical Role, Acquisitions Inc or Campaign then our mixture of epic storytelling, memorable characters and hilarious antics will put a smile on your face and a bounce in your step. Routinely contains strong language, extraordinarily bad accents and a certain inscrutable charm.
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196
S1E10: The Crystaline Labyrinth
Our heroes begin their second week in the Ffantasy Ccastle reality show and they face a new challenge - a mysterious labyrinth beneath the castle from which they must retrieve ancient treasures. That will only be possible, however, when they have gathered enough crystals, which can only be obtained by succeeding at various types of challenge... You can find more about Trilogy, the game we are playing, at https://trilogy-rpg.com
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195
S1E09: The Curse of Fonevot
Team Alpha were the first back from their mission to distant Washport, as their rivals return we follow their adventures through the rest of the week, but the Curse of Fonevot is approaching fast, and it will claim one of the company of heroes. Can Team Alphas keep themselves safe? Find more about Trilogy at https://trilogy-rpg.com
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194
S1E08: The Occult And A Cult
Team Alpha have explored Washport and found evidence of some sinister goings on - now they go in search of the Inevitable Court, but before they can, something else finds them... Find more about Trilogy at https://trilogy-rpg.com
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193
S1E07: Welcome To Washport
Team Alpha have been transported to the scenic town of Washport, a set so carefully constructed that they immediately attempt to escape, before remembering they are on a TV show and setting about the task of investigating the town.
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192
S1E06: Wenchcore!
The heroes of Team Alpha have returned from one adventure and soon they will be sent on the next, but first: Mandatory sports time! This campaign we are playing Trilogy, which you can learn more about at https://trilogy-rpg.com
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191
S1E05: Attack Of The Skelebarians
Team Alpha had stayed back to investigate Troggleshythe when the alarm bells rang, now they must hurry back to help protect the Dutchess in a way that is sufficiently spectactular to impress the cameras. You can learn more about Trilogy at https://trilogy-rpg.com
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190
S1E04: The Troggleshythe Trail
The morning after the first feast night, the four teams are given their first quest from the Ffantasy Ccastle. Fortunately it's simple caravan duty, more chore than challenge for heroes such as these. You can find more about Trilogy at https://trilogy-rpg.com
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189
S1E03: The Merry King
After an epic confrontation in the cellars, Team Alpha research their findings, before they make their way to the evening feast with The Merry King. You can find out more about Trilogy at https://trilogy-rpg.com - if you want to support what we do, buying that game is a great start!
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188
S1E02: There's WHAT in the cellar?
Team Alpha get settled for their stay at the Ffantasy Ccastle! and then find themselves handed a surprising and entirely original mission...
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187
S1E01: Ffantasy Ccastle!
Anders Roe, Arcwise Turbotine and Brad Mussels begin their spooky tale of uplifting bureaucracy as they are flung head-first into the exciting new Reality TV adventure "Ffantasy Ccastle!" What the production company running the show don't realise is that two of their contestants really can do magic, while the third has mastered a different kind of wizardry.
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186
S1E0.5 Character Creation
After having created the world in the first episode of the new campaign, now we create our main characters. Apologies for the slightly lower quality on this one- somebody forgot to save their local audio and it was me (Ben) but I've tried to tidy it up from the video version and I think it worked out alright. Find more about trilogy at https://trilogy-rpg.com
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185
A small announcement regarding Trilogy
In which Ben introduces the new game he has been working on for the last few years.
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184
Season 4/CDS Post Mortem - Spoilers!
Spoiler Warning- this contains spoilers for the entire show! Do not, on any account, start here! This is the audio of our Season 4/Entire Crudely Drawn Swords post-mortem. It is barely edited, Stuart was increasingly drunk as the session went on and we were all dressed "smartly" but you can't really hear that on the audio. You will get to hear all our coughing, opening bottles, rustling around and other nonsense that normally gets edited out, though. After all, what are you going to do? Stop listening to the show???
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183
S4E68: Crudely Drawn Swords
An epilogue, in which our heroes say their goodbyes, and we say ours. Thank you for coming on this adventure with us, it has truly been sausage to know you.
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182
S4E67: The World And The Magic Within It
The fight with the Drake may be over, but now the Hawks face their greatest trial: the armies of the Canavir have come to claim the Gateway. The stakes are existence itself; the Hawks and their surviving allies will only be able to stop them if they are strong enough, and brave enough, and ready to face the world and all the magic within it.
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181
S4E66: The Seven Great Blows
The Drake has come. Everything the Hawks prepared for, everything they hoped for, and the armies they command, all must come together now if they are to survive their confrontation with their old friend, and implacable enemy.
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180
S4E65: Ghost Onesie
Percy has paid the price for great power, and something of great value has been destroyed. As the time of reckoning comes closer, The Hawks must prepare for the arrival of their enemy.
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179
S4E64: Really Good At Traps
The Hawks have a problem - one of their group is being targeted by a dangerous sect of assassins, and the assassins are probably in the right. It's time for precipitous action and the cruel truth is: to achieve greatness takes great sacrifice. Many things are sacrificed in this episode of Crudely Drawn Swords.
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178
S4E63: The Applemen
An important ally and friend of The Hawks is dead and they want to find out the cause - which leads them to dangerous secrets and an unwelcome truth.
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177
S4E62: Never Outgunned
New groups approach Aru-sha from every direction - some are friends, others, foes. The Hawks learn more of what is approaching, and who they will have at their sides when their enemies come to the city.
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176
S4E61: Trust Team Idiot
The Hawks are back! Awakening in the city Korzuuk, the capital of Mologorok. They have intervened in the past, but of course time has passed in the present as well. Time to find out how well their plans have worked and to start preparing the city for the arrival of The Drake.
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175
S4E60: The Prophecy, Part 3
Five hundred years ago, three figures sat in a sea-cave and composed a prophecy. This is the third episode during which we explore the outcomes and meaning of that prophecy as it threads through history.
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174
S4E59: The Awakening, Part 2
In the distant past, while Adam and Percy reshape the tides of history itself, Tristan, Enigma and their newfound friend Athel di Mitiabos face the daunting challenge of going for a nice walk across the kingdom of Carisona. Who has a more difficult job? It is hard to say, but suffice to say this may just be our shortest ever episode.
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173
S4E58: The Prophecy, Part 2
In a cave by the sea, a ghost, a gunslinger and a guy whose ribcage will later have a book in it write a history of the future that will become the most important prophecy of their age. But how will people recognise its value? In this week's episode, we find out.
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172
S4E57: The Awakening, Part 1
While Adam and Percy carefully build a prophecy to shape history to their needs, Engima and Tristan have a different task: Go for a nice walk in the sunshine. Who can say which task will prove more challenging...
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171
S4E56: The Prophecy, Part 1
The Hawks find themselves back in the past with multiple significant tasks to perform. Percy and Adam dedicate themselves to compiling the prophecies of Ludovic Crease into the tome known as The Sea Codex.
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170
S4E55: Not A Princess
The Hawks have a prophecy to make, so they're back in the land of the dead and quickly meet an old friend, in fact more than a friend to one of our heroes, if only he could remember that.
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169
S4E54: A Bit Of A Yarn
The Hawks have received bad news about their future selves but time and fate are dangerous to tinker with, and before they make their way into the past, they perhaps need a little rest and relaxation.
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168
S4E53: All He's Ever Done
The Hawks have found their way to the underground realm of Mologorok (stop that!) and they find their arrival foretold by prophecy, a fact they immediately ignore because they have found something far more important (to them).
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167
S4E52 - Water Off My Back
Having located the ideal place to search for the dragon beneath Aru-sha, The Hawks begin their exploration, only to find themselves confronted by a new kind of opponent, one against which they have no defence at all.
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166
S4E51: Who Is That Handsome Man?
The Hawks have returned to their old haunt of Aru-sha and in the interests of their researches they're going in search of some old friends. Some things the
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165
S4E50: Who's Up For Starting A Cult?
Escaping a dangerous situation, The Hawks find themselves in a deep and ancient catacomb and anyone who has visited a crypt will be very conscious that there is one urgent priority you have to be ready for: pranking people.
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164
S4E49: Things Undreamed Of
The Argent Queen has asked for The Hawks help in forging a new realm of death, with herself as the goddess at its heart. Unfortunately for her, they have seen through her lies, unfortunately for them she can't be harmed in her own realm. Their greatest hope lies in finding a way to invoke the ancient power of The First Contract, the law that all things living must pass The Black Gate. There is an alternative plan, but it is extremely dangerous. The future and the ancient past collide beside a jade tower beneath a lambent moon.
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163
S4E48: From The Same Place
The Pale Hand In Death's Shadow, The Argent Queen, The Princess In Alabaster, The Frostdaughter, Mercy In Ivory, The Pearl Widow... she has many names and now The Hawks approach the heart of her power as she tries to persuade them that co-operation is a wiser solution than conflict. She has a lot to offer them and they need to be careful if they not find themselves at her mercy, a resource in which she displays a noticeable scarcity.
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162
S4E47: Structural Integrity
The Hawks have found their way into the castle of The White Lady - the decor is on-the nose, the lighting is spooky and the well just had weird blood creatures pop out of it. All in all, a bit on the quirky side. Still, The Hawks are a devastatingly effective, battle-hardened team. There is no chance of any of them becoming casualties of the trickeries of an ancient and malign power- not when their own bad decisions can get them first.
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161
S4E46: The Old Traditional Greeting
The Hawks have made their way to the old barrow at the heart of the dome of smoke and ghosts and now they prepare themselves to enter and face whatever perils lie within. Or at least three of them do, Tristan already kicked Adam through the gateway...
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160
S4H6: Always There, Always Changing
Perhaps Tristan and Ambiphorax had further conversations, after the one where he saw his mistake, but if they did, he has yet to recall them. And yet, for all that, he can no longer see his captor and adversary as purely an enemy. For a time they were companions, of a sort, almost friends.
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159
S4E45: A Little Bit Of Elk
The Hawks have a destination now, the site where Adam and Enigma once overthrew the Court of Lost Renown, but what will they find at that one-time lake among the burnt forest of the Black Pillars?
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158
S4H5: The Song Of Every Bird
Two things Tristan loves to talk about: Music and himself. His favourite topic of conversation? The combination of music and himself. The problem? The survival of the world might depend on him not talking about his favourite topic of conversation, and he is a very talkative fellow.
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157
S4E44: Mumbo Jumbo
Having learned relatively little from the diminutive general of the White Lady's army, the Hawks decide it is time to question their spectral captive. But could Tristan's blithe assumption that he can get away with anything have lead him to overreach? Again? As it does every couple of episodes?
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156
S4H4: A Second Of Pristine Beauty
Years have passed at the borders of chaos, insofar as Tristan can tell, but eventually he finds himself back in the room where the ancient and terrible creature who holds him captive calls him back for a little light conversation...
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155
S4E43: Do You Know What Murder Means?
The immediate ghost problem has been averted, The Hawks are temporarily protected themselves and make a retreat to the relative comfort of the local inn, where they figure out their next steps: What do the ghosts want, how can Tristan defeat his newest rival, and where are they going to find breakfast at this time of night?
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154
S4H3 - The Force Of Our Origins
A year since their last conversation, Tristan finds himself back in the comfortable armchair beside Ambiphorax' fireplace, learning more about where the world came from.
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153
S4E42: Half Past Nunchucks
The Hawks are surrounded by ghosts and they need to give Percy time to create a circle of protection around a whole building. Fortunately they are all dynamic heroes who make exclusively good decisions, so this is almost guaranteed to go smoothly.
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152
S4H2: A Power With Endless Children
A long time ago, on the borders of endless chaos the ghost of a bard and an ancient power of endless chaos are trapped together. This episode continues their conversations as Tristan begins to learn some of the deeper history of the world.
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151
S4E41: Our Saviour
Tristan is shaken by the revelation of his recollections, but ultimately there isn't time for The Hawks to worry about that right now, because they have places to be, so finally they're going to begin their journey north to Aru-sha. The good news, is that there's basically no chance of anything or anyone intervening to stop them.
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150
S4H1: The Very Heart Of Things
Tristan has a problem, which is that through no fault of his own* he finds himself at the borders of the elemental chaos that the world is shaped from, on inconstant ground beneath an ever-shifting sky. Even worse, he is trapped there with the ancient power Ambiphorax, a creature whose destructive power and will to overthrow civilisations has shown itself to be endless. Worst of all, Ambiphorax wants to chat with him. Can this pitiless malevolence truly be reasoned with? Can Tristan endure this brutal and hostile realm? What kind of beard is he going to grow? Our hero must confront all of these questions and more if he is to survive his time in the ruinous realm. *It is 100% his fault. You can buy From The Room In The Tower here: https://bridlewise.itch.io/from-the-room-in-the-tower
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149
S4E40: What did we actually learn?
Awakening from their magical exploration of Adam's memories, the Hawks try to establish how accurate the information they gleaned there actually is, and how they can use it to plan for the future.
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148
S4E39: The Two Revolvers
The Dreadnought Asperitas is gone in a thunder of flame and ruin, but with a following wind, her crew have a chance at getting home safe as their ... infinity pool? ... drifts across the hostile land. Adam's memories grow ever more fevered and baffling as the ship's crew find themselves at another crossroads.
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147
S4E38 - Deadly and Beautiful
The Dreadnought Asperitas has reached the location where the Broken Wheel are planning to perform a powerful chaotic rending that will bring disaster upon the people of Sukarvalon, but they are short of troops and now they contemplate desperate measures. Meanwhile it is starting to look as though possibly there is a saboteur on board, although who it could be remains a total mystery.
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
An actual play podcast of high adventure, low dice rolls and intermediate levels of terrible puns in which five old friends imagine ourselves to be dynamic and exciting heroes in a game of Dungeon World. Crudely Drawn Swords is a long-term campaign following a team of heroic(?) adventurers as they follow a quest that will take them through strange lands, across dangerous seas and on perilous journeys through unknown regions. If you are a fan of podcasts like Friends at the Table, The Adventure Zone, Critical Role, Acquisitions Inc or Campaign then our mixture of epic storytelling, memorable characters and hilarious antics will put a smile on your face and a bounce in your step. Routinely contains strong language, extraordinarily bad accents and a certain inscrutable charm.
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