Deep Sy with Sy Hoekstra

In today’s episode:- A nonfatal face crash- You join my very legal business- Good, common-sense panic attacks- Florida man can see your soul for what it isBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and bonus episodes every other week!Or throw a tip in my tip jar!The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s episode:- Hilarious eugenics- DIY artificial insemination- Laughing alone- An extremely beef moviecome out to some of the Reel Abilities events between April 23 and 30 in NYC, or check out their streamed films and events.Become a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and bonus episodes every other week!Or throw a tip in my tip jar!The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

Subscribe to my new podcast! First episodes drop next week. https://soccerexplainedpod.com/In today’s bonus episode, which is free for everyone:- Tiny blurry baseball guys- Little Billy, the only Mets fan in school- The world violently spins exactly one half circle- Big honkin’ hockeyMusic by Andre LouisThe podcast art and other blog graphics are by Will CheungYankees audio clip from Major League Baseball, originally broadcast on WFAN New York. Retrieved from2014 world cup clip from FIFA, retrieved from:My freelancing website: https://syhoekstra.com/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s episode:- You’re a spy!- Attack of the chainsaw clown zombies- Alabama goes British- Tech bro midwivesBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Or throw a tip in my tip jar!The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

Content warning for those who become easily queasy.In today’s episode:- A short humor piece, plus accessibility and snow- Reverse Mark Twaining- Snow makes coffee bad- Eyeball blasters (eyeballs=ammo, not target)Become a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Or throw a tip in my tip jar!The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s episode:- Ride the Brainevator- Fear the pants rats- Total elementary school recall- You and I become fugitives from the lawBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Or throw a tip in my tip jar!Please follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s episode:- AN off-site nightmare- Minor chemical terrorism- A redemption arc- Don’t forget the swagBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Or throw a tip in my tip jar!Please follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s episode, how to find what you need at a store while blind. Plus:- Candy scattered to the wind- Pantomime turtles- Exotic meats- A CVS employee who is probably a good hang but not a good CVS employeeBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Or throw a tip in my new tip jar!Please follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

It’s a special Christmas episode, and a change of pace. Today’s story is fiction, and it rhymes. It’s also possibly intellectual property infringement.Become a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Or throw a tip in my new tip jar!Please follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungToday’s music: 30 Seconds” by Andre LouisFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s episode:- I viciously mock the fashion choices of a person who doesn’t technically exist- Sarcastic high-fiving- The surprising number of ears blind people have- Me pretending to be friends with your friend I’ve never metBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

The first episode of my NPR-style disability parody news podcast (hopefully the first of many because boy did I have fun making this).Special thanks to the Squeaky Wheel for rejecting my pitches for these stories so I could use them here. To read some excellent disability-related satire (including, starting soon, some written by me), visit them here: https://thesqueakywheel.org/Submit questions to be answered on future bonus podcasts, or ideas you have for other kinds of bonus episodes: https://deepsy.net/survey/4746402Please subscribe, rate, and review this show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.Today’s music: “Please Not an Infomercial” by Andre LouisThe podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s episode:- My toddler’s voice acting debut- I might be a powerful wizard- I comb the streets of New York City in search of precious gold- I am emotionally comforted by an infantBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s episode:- I raise awareness about the perspective of disabled people through sarcasm- I maybe threaten a stranger with mace, but I can’t be sure- Four separate people yell at me in public- A mysterious figure in the night appears silhouetted in the glow of headlights and with a bloodcurdling scream places a death curse upon meSubmit any questions you have for me to be answered on future bonus podcasts here: https://deepsy.net/survey/4746402Become a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s story:- I take no one’s hints- I catch no one’s drift- I get no one’s message- I do not read between any lines- I pick up nothing anyone is putting down- I never get the picture- I connect no dots- I am not on anyone’s wavelength- I read no rooms- I fail to smell what anyone is cookingBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s episode:- Theater kids annoy everyone- A teacher encourages me to attack other children- I try to placate denizens of the netherworld- I traumatize Gen Z readers by describing people speaking to each other using telephonesBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s story:- I say nothing related to DEI that anyone in the government needs to prosecute ME FOR; don’t worry about it- Canadian bureaucracy makes EVERYTHING easier- Security agents investigate me for terrorism, or drug trafficking, or something; it’s not clear- People watch, apparently for entertainment, to see how well I get around without a guide or caneBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s episode:- Dr. God- Learn the magic words that never fail to summon miracle-working religious devotees to your side- A stranger whispers tenderly into my ear in a subway station- The spiritual significance of marshmallow pizzaBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s episode:- I weigh in on the controversy surrounding International Podcasting Day- You question my moral integrity- I give a theatrical performance in the lobby of a courthouse for $35- You meet my trash butlers and find to your surprise that you are one of themBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s story:- I do a choreographed dance in an airport- I openly lie to airline employees- Robots patiently wait for the right moment to revolt- I am complimented on how well I use a bathroomBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s story:- I chastise you for being juvenile- I harness extensive neurological research and sophisticated psychoanalysis to explain the behavior of sighted people- A stranger yells at my wife and me about sex- I meet JesusBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s story:- Blind people monetize ignorance- I imitate French-Canadians speaking English with a sensitive, regionally appropriate accent and offend no one- You fall into your bathtub- My wife and I nearly get away with a crimeBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!Please subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

In today’s story:- Thieves come for my potentially magical glasses- I single-handedly defeat several men in close-quarter combat and become a hero- I set my friend’s shirt on fire.- I am attacked by a drummerBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!And if you could do me a huge favor, Subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

Welcome to episode one! In today’s story:- A blind husband (me) searches for an emergency anniversary gift- Carefree sighted people skip whimsically through life- You, sighted reader, become confused when I explain what a wall sounds like- A blind caveman invents language. Grunting is fine, but pointing is not accessibleBecome a paid subscriber at deepsy.net/subscribe, to get all future episodes plus the written stories a month earlier, and support what I’m doing here!And if you could do me a huge favor, Subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe

Join me as I read the humor pieces I write about blind life!Go to deepsy.net/subscribe to get my free emails or support me as a paid subscriber!And if you could do me a huge favor, Subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.The podcast art and other Substack graphics are by Will CheungFind me on:- Substack- LinkedIn- Mastodon- My freelancing website This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deepsy.net/subscribe