Delusions Of Grandeur

This future vision is starting to get spicy! Leia is (diplomatically) ambushed by Corran Horn's former butler Elegos Ak'la -- who was always too good for him, right?? Right. Oh, and he brought along this 30 year old kid named Ghent, too. Shada and Karrde have a rough day out as it becomes clear Jorge Car'das definitely knows they're coming -- and as Karrde leaves Shada out in the cold during Operation Strategic Use of Local Jackets. By way of apology, he tells her about the time Jorge Car'das was carjacked by a group of Dark Jedi and came back a much more terrifying man. And Mara and Luke, forced to do an almost endless corporate-retreat-style, totally unromantic trust fall for completely legitimate plot reasons, start to unpack some Dark Jedi shit of their own.

The Council of Imperial Bitches make it through their first battle with the help of Wookipedia. Lando is interrupted on his quest to invent an underwater version of Nevada by a phone call from an old friend. Karoly D'ulin shoves herself into ever-smaller closets. Corran and Wedge fail at their mission seconds after stetting foot on Bothawui. And Mara sits down for a good-old fashioned therapy ambush after 12 hours of hiking through a cave with Luke Skywalker.

Luke and Mara reunite and begin an emotionally fraught camping trip to sneak into a heavily fortified military base while being forced to hold hands. Han attempts to seduce his wife (presumably in a sarong) only to be foiled by the Solo Embarrassment Factor (and a bunch of unmarked starfighters). Our Imperial saboteurs roll up on Bothawui with frankly offensive space-Italian accents, a dream of opening a pet store, and a perfectly calculated, insultingly small bribe. The Clone Club convenes with a proposition for Han and Leia.  And Pellaeon discovers his ex might have returned from the dead only to move on with a new Moff. But he's happy for the Empire, he really is. 

We press on in the Hand of Thrawn duology. The cover: full of amazing hair for all our principals: Luke, Mara, and...Han? The dedication: from the author to his friends, but aren't we the real friends he made along the way??? The plot: we catch up with a variety of Imperial officers gazing pensively into space (and one scheming quite effectively to pry worlds away from the New Republic). Luke should have sprung for cave valet, as his X-wing is immediately jacked the moment he parks. The Force is surprisingly cool with grand larceny. Wedge and Corran are tapped by Bel Iblis for some planet side maneuvers that satisfy the letter of army law if not the spirit. Shada D'ukal befriends C-3P0 and then immediately unfriends some bikers. And we find out Talon Karrde did not take Corellian Lit in space college.

We reach the epic conclusion of this (possibly?) New York Times bestselling novel. Lando learns the downsides of the caped lifestyle. Shada's job interview goes slightly sideways. Talon Karrde offers to work for free (!?). Wedge and the Rogues simply cannot catch a break (or a cake). Our hosts wonder if finding the Camaas document can even fix what's broken in the New Republic. And friend of the pod Gilad Pellaeon starts a Thrawn cover band while he waits for Bel Iblis. We shall return with book two, Vision of the Future!

Lando gets hustled: first at sabacc, and then by Flim and co. New Republic C-SPAN gets juicy as they debate whether or not Imperial warlords can come back from the dead. We get a crash course Alderaniaan design philosophy. Shada D'ukal phones customer service and asks TO SPEAK WITH A REPRESENTATIVE. And Talon Karrde sips some fine brandy while inviting you to get comfortable in your own conversation pit.

We rejoin Pellaeon, sippin' some brandy on his galactic frenemies tour. He starts to realize that Moff Disra is probably up to worse shenanigans than money laundering, but can't quite figure out what it could be. No time to linger for a second brandy, though: he's late for a meeting with Bel Iblis (...who has not yet accepted the cal invite).Luke Skywalker trusted the Force and it rewarded him with some kick ass architecture. Unfortunately, the splendor of Bridge World and its philosophically-minded peaceful protesters weren't enough to convince him to stick around. Instead of popping into a tapcafe to speak with their local Enjolras, Luke decides to fly off and rescue Mara from that cave (and reluctantly agrees to take more than just his X-Wing).Bel Iblis and Rogue Squadron skip dessert and engage in entrapment — never forget that ACAB. Even in space. And especially your favorite Corellians.

[Extremely Ron Howard Voice] "Now the story of a wealthy Empire who lost everything...and the one Captain who had no choice but to keep them all together..."While your man Pellaeon can't sleep well, he sure can scheme. His investigations into Imperial corruption are going swimmingly and he's plotting an elaborate library heist. Meanwhile, Han and Leia get caught between a mob and a Bothan staircase. C3P0 is blasted to smithereens but apparently, "he'll be alright" (WTF?! Droids' rights!). Mara Jade is trapped in an ugly ass cave, going cuckoo bananas and yelling about Skywalkers to any bats who will listen. And Lando has unwittingly become a pawn in Disra's latest plot to blue the Imperial remnant.

The Bothan people continue their crime spree with a turn into massive financial fraud. Talon Karrde shows up with a gift and a threat. Mara just parked in the driveway but she has to turn around and go to the corner store for more intel. Luke might finally understand what the Force is all about. And Pellaeon continues his gofundme tour of the remnants of the Empire.

The Senate is in an uproar about how to dish out justice in the face of genocide — but at least they agree that their new interior decorator has impeccable taste. Han Solo casually commits Watergate-adjacent political crimes so that he can argue over payment plans for espionage with Talon Karrde. And Luke Skywalker goes on a bonkers undercover mission with the help of stage makeup and a rack of ribs — but without the help of the Force. As per yuzh, Mara Jade saves his farmboy butt.

The High Council of Imperial Bitches has their inaugural meeting. An extremely stable political alliance forms. A Smuggle Buddy begins to doubt her life choices. Pellaeon puts on his detective hat. Wedge tries to back out of buying a melon.

Once again, we find ourselves on the bridge of the Chimera with one Gilad Pellaeon, staring thoughtfully into space. Only this time, there's no more Thrawn and Pellaeon is having a bad case of the Mondays. 19 years after the Battle of Yavin, the galaxy is completely changed, with the Empire controlling scraps and the New Republic (theoretically, at least) large and in charge. While Pellaeon is pondering surrender, Han Solo is trying to do some diplomacy in order to ensure his wife gets an actual break from running the galaxy. Luke is having a mental breakdown while flying when he realizes that not everyone likes him -- even if they have read his wiki page!! And Leia has an unexpected meet up with Talon Karrde and the smuggle buddies, in which they come to the horrifying conclusion that Borsk Fey'lya might actually have a point.

This week, we chat with the delightful author of The Rise and Fall of the Galactic Empire. Dr. Kempshall walks us through what an Imperial archive might include (or not include), which EU character he could imagine ghostwriting for, and finally gives us an answer to the persistent question: "how often should Luke Skywalker be thrown in the brig for stealing an X-Wing?" (tl;dr just like...maybe don't recruit any space wizards to your military.)We loved this book. So our only remaining question is this: what Chandrillan palms do we have to grease to get Chris assigned to write Artistically Done: The Life and Times of Grand Admiral Thrawn?

If all goes according to plan, we'll start our new year and next season with an interview with Dr. Chris Kempshall — author of "The Rise and Fall of the Galactic Empire."The book traces how and why Palpatine took power (spoiler: Sith crap) and how middle managers, bureaucrats, and neutral evil civilians held the Empire together. It also tries to make the most rational case we've encountered so far for the "return of Palpatine" and his Vegas residency on Exegol. It's an in-universe history, written from the perspective of an in-universe historian who is slowly losing his mind with the realization that you can't snuff out fascism just 'cause you blew up a Death Star. Or...three?Stay tuned after a small break for an interview with this galaxy's author. And then we'll embark on the HAND OF THRAWN DUOLOGY (I know, right?! It's finally happening!).

A quick pre-cap of what you can look forward to from us in early 2026, so you can scour the used bookshelves now! (Hey-la, hey-la, the Grand Admiral's back.)

As this novel and trilogy draw to a close, the universe seems to be conspiring to make Han the grumpiest space pirate this side of Nar Shadda. Actually, it's not the universe. It's Bria and Han's inability to hear one another, despite a surprising amount of honesty (okay, and maybe the teensiest bit of betrayal). After a firm business handshake leads to a naughty coin flip and sexy times on the cat warrior planet, Han and Bria are separately convinced that the other one is going to ditch their respective dreams in order to keep the party going. Uh..."spoiler"...? No.In the end, Kelly gives A.C. Crispin's Han Solo trilogy 1,000/12 parsecs and Emily is left longing for more close-up magic and Wookie sandwiches. And for some reason, we're strangely compelled to go watch Rogue One.......... 🤔

Sit yourself down, my lads, as we delve into ever more Hutt schemes and ever wilder seating arrangements. Hutt clans are squaring off both metaphorically and literally. Xizor and Guri are using the power of Black Sun and electronic butts that just don't quit to take over the galaxy's spice production. Chewie is practicing self care and going to bed early. And, in the true spirit of Space Thanksgiving, Han is grabbing a series of increasingly emotionally fraught catch-up drinks with old friends and exes now that he's back in his hometown after doing a study abroad.Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Han Solo takes a break from this trilogy to pop over into the Brian Daley series of adventures on the Outer Rim. Meanwhile, Bria is back in the field, baby! She's taking her crew's temperatures, mercing slavers left and right, and posing as a middling but hot lounge singer, where she meets a rakish mustache by the name of Lando. After narrowly escaping the clutches of Boba Fett (thanks to Lando's square pirate lady ex), Bria invites the Hutts to fund an all-out rebel attack on Ylesia. Jabba's in, but Aunt Jiliac has reservations and so the Hutt-y Dune-y schemes continue.Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

"Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam..." We are gathered here today to witness a Wookie wedding (humans: DO NOT DRINK THE BOOZE, YOU WILL DIE). Despite being surrounded by love, flying the ship of his dreams, and enjoying a moderate amount of smuggling success, Han Solo does not want to get married. Unfortunately, he also doesn't really want to talk about his feelings. So while Hutts be schemin' and Fetts be huntin', Solos be ghostin'.Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

But soft! What light through yonder airbrush breaks -- it is the east, and the book is A.C. Crispin's Rebel Dawn. We're creeping closer to to the moment Han and Chewie walk through the cantina doors in Mos Eisley, but for now we have several scheming Hutts, Chewie romancing his lady friend with some fresh porcupine, and everyone converging on beautiful Cloud City, Bespin -- Han and Lando to play some cards, Bria and Winter (!!) to propose some kind of Rebel study group, and get a nice cup of vine-coffee. Plus, patrons get inventive on galactic Reddit.Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Han Solo is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.Join Zoom Meetinghuttp://webdotzoomdotcorellia/YT492727ZEDMeeting ID: YT492727ZEDJoin the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Chewie contemplates the true meaning of a Wookie life debt after an incredibly annoying car ride with his human, Han finds out the perils of competency as he is sent to bribe yet another Imperial commander...and that he loves being on stage, even when not in a sparkly bodysuit. Bria finds out the Imperial Moff she's hitched her wagon to has lost his mind. Hutts continue to Hutt as battles and poisoning schemes approach their inevitable conclusions.Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Everything seems to be coming up Han. Boba Fett hasn't shot him with a butt-dart in months. After being dumped by his close-magic girlfriend, he finds a new lady in a Corellian bar (and this new lady doesn't make him wear spangly bodysuits). His buddy Lando bought a shipyard with life-crystal money and leases Han and Chewie their very own ship!! (So what if it's a total lemon and not the Falcon?) All of the Nar Shadda Smuggle Buddies (TM) get together in a space barn on the daily to fix up their ships and trade hot goss. Life is prettay prettay prettayyyyy good......until it isn't. For some reason, old Empy P decides to 'crack down on crime', which means going after the Hutts, which means the National Guard is about to get deployed to Nar Shadda. The Hutts think that the best way to smooth this over is to call the only human they know (guess who) to try to make some bargains with the Imperials...Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Where to BEGIN. Han and Chewie are living in a shitty apartment and driving a giant space bus while on the run from many a bounty hunter when they end up taking a quick jaunt to Kessel to escape from a very handsy lady Wookie. A.C. Crispin does her level best to explain why you might measure the Kessel Run in parsecs...and more importantly, how Han is, of course, a natural at flying through asteroid fields. Back on Nal Hutta, he finally gets a meeting with Jabba and Jiliac, which leads to a new job and the opportunity to romance a famous (and very serious) magician. Not even magic can save him from Boba Fett, who hits him in the butt with a dart filled with the old "Ella Enchanted" juice. But you know who can? A very handsome, stylishly dressed man who needs some flying lessons in the old hunk of junk freighter he just won in a card game.Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Smash cut to our next book...and one Han Solo, recently kicked out of the Imperial Navy after five years of faithful (?) service. He's getting very drunk in a bar and getting very nostalgic about his cool Corellian pants while he tries to get rid of an annoying Wookie who won't stop following him around. It's a good thing Chewbacca did adopt this rescue human at the shelter though, because Han spends the rest of these chapters writing checks his body can't cash. And maybe, just maybe seeing his ex across a crowd of potential pilgrims... Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Han and Bria head to Corellia, where they have an incredibly awkward long weekend with her family ending in Han getting recognized as the swoop champion of all Corellia by Bria's ex. To be fair, he seems hella stoked she's sleeping with such a good swoop pilot. Then it's off for an even more disastrous mini break on Coruscant that ends with Han (failing at) robbing a bank, Bria realizing she needs to deal with her addiction before she can be in a relationship, and Han getting his retinas burned off. Luckily, the Imperial Naval Academy doesn't care if you heart is now a hard empty shell because your girlfriend left you...but they do care if you know about like, jizz and art and stuff. Shrike also doesn't care about the breakup or any of that culture stuff, although he would like the bounty on Han's head. Can't a man enjoy his new retinas and eat his nerf medallions in peace??Plus, the chat has spoken: we'll continue on to book two, The Hutt Gambit.Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

The action's really pickin' up, pardners. Han and Muurgh both race to rescue their respective partners from horrible, cult-based slavery with some tastefully designed explosions. Also, they stuff a bunch of antiques into a backpack, do some fancy flying, attend a space-cat wedding, and have some tastefully off-screen sexy times. Plus, we ask: what do we read next?Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Emily gets her laptop back. Han Solo does some hand smoochies and gets a reluctant mud bath. Bria gets high and realizes her religion is a sham. Muuurgh plots a murder and goes for a run.

This episode is coming to you late as Emily's solar panels got connected to the grid. We are proud to say that makes Delusions of Grandeur a bi-coastal and (theoretically) carbon-free production thanks to two roofs full of spook crystals!But back to the book: our intrepid hosts describe a whole lotta drugs as Han learns more about the world he's found himself on -- and how the whole 'religion' thing is a front for the drugs thing. Han also meets his 'bodyguard', Muurgh, a high priest with his own museum, and a possibly hot Corellian archeologist wearing a dumb hat while she makes spice. Plus, Han goes on his first drug run, is attacked by pirates, and is forced to touch down on some dumb college planet called Alderaan.Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Welcome to a new book, a new trilogy, and some classic Dickensian capers! We've got a young Han [neé Solo], some bleak living conditions, a gang of juvenile pickpockets, brutal adults, furry best friends slash 'bodyguards', and a Bel Iblis cameo. Join us as we uncover the true story of how Han Solo became the galaxy's premier grump by the ripe old age of 29...ish.Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Gather 'round, fellow #GilroyGirls. In response to the INJUSTICE of Andor Season 2's Emmys snubs, we bring you this special episode where we yell about all that we loved about Andor (both seasons) and what we thought was missing and what we could have done without.*Not actually four hours**Ended up being about more than just BixTyranny got you down? Find one of our favorite Andor meme-makers on Insta @ wolfwrentruther for incredible Andor memes and links to donate to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund. The galaxy is watching!Join the Patreon for early episode releases, a chat full of spicy takes, and infrequent but invaluable giveaways! 

Our resident cop/fighter jock races to rescue his wife and tie up many an outstanding plot point with a mere 7 chapters of runway. He and Elegos team up as space Batman and Alfred as they spook a bunch of superstitious pilots into panic calling Tavira -- and almost get rumbled when Corran finds himself sprinting through the city buck naked and clutching a lightsaber. Their plan works, and Tavira and her secret Force user allies show up...and so do Luke Skywalker and Corran's bff Ooryl. After a surprisingly effective round of good cop, bad cop, ysalamiri cop, Corran et al head off to find Mirax, defeat sexy baby space pirates, and blow up Exar Kun's statue just for fun. 10/12 parsecs. Plus, we reveal the results of our next book poll!

Boy howdy, folks. After juping around in space, Corran gets into a fistfight with the concept of Dark Side/his annoying rival and meets a very interesting twice-dispossessed refugee. In a just galaxy he would then be sent straight to horny jail after an interrogation by Admiral Tavira turns into a blood-soaked make out sesh. Alas, we do not read in a just galaxy. This leads our hosts to ponder the eternal questions of fanfic: sure, Star Wars should always be more horny, but Debbie...like this? And, of course: are you truly cheating on your spouse if the only way to get them out of a coma is to fuck a homicidal baddie?

Corran makes nice with some of the Invids by bringing them that fancy shuttle they were trying to steal, starting a months-long (!?!) project of working his way up the ladder to get onto the Invidious as crew and find Mirax. His new wingwoman tells him there's two ways: fancy flying or fucking the captain. In this fic, Corran chooses the flying, which brings him face to face with Rogue Squadron...and with Kelly's hardest challenge yet: describing a protracted space battle solo.

The Horn boys do some gardening (revealing a whole bunch of Jedi secrets under a pile of literal bullshit), then go out to dinner at Corellia's fanciest new molecular gastronomy restaurant, much to Corran's delight. But big steaks and big secrets make for bad dreams, and Corran wakes up determined to go back to his old self to save his wife. Conveniently, that was the guy who went undercover with pirates all the time! But first, he's got to stop a teenage Rouge Squadron fanboy from draxxing some sklounsts his body can't draxx, do some fancy flying, and critique Mara Jade's wardrobe (perhaps the most dangerous mission of all).

After making a terrible executive decision that lacerates his kidneys, Corran IDGAF Horn is rescued from Exar Kun by his Verbally Confirmed Friend Mara Jade. The other Jedi do some magic or something and Exar Kun gets Exar-cised. Don't think about it too much — Corran doesn't. Luke wakes up from his coma (or was it the nap he was actually looking for all along?), pardons genocidal maniac Kyp Durron, and we can finally leave this wizard shit behind to get into some real Corellian noir investigations.We're here for the descriptions of Booster Terrik's Errant Venture (TV series, when?) and Corran's horticulturalist political puppet-master grandpa (Tony Gilroy, you would love this guy).

Much happens in these chapters, a lot of it off screen for Jedi Academy (and maybe copyright?) reasons. Luke falls into a Sith-induced coma! Corran and R2 engage in light espionage! Leia sweeps in looking like a hero of the Rebellion! Han Solo cooks a delicious meal and abandons his family! And we see one strong advantage the books have over the movies as Kyp destroys Carida and our apprentices feel the horror in real time. Plus, the Last Temptation of Corran Horn (directed by Exar Kun) debuts to less than rave reviews.

Things are heating up on Yavin 4. Mara Jade arrives in a tasteful jumpsuit, only to have her car jacked almost as soon as she parks. Rough neighborhood! Now, she is forced to hang out with her cool friend's meathead husband for a whole week. Corran's various investigations aren't going particularly well, but he does use his skills as a Corellian to cook everyone a succulent Yavanese meal . And what thanks does he get? Being Force-slammed into a wall by one Kyp Durron, then having to do all the dishes and be Luke Skywalker's part time therapist. What's the point of being a Jedi if you can't even get out of the third shift?

Corran shows up late to class on the one day someone's trying to kill Luke Skywalker -- who seems weirdly unconcerned that one of his students came at him with a freshly built lightsaber. He is more concerned when Gantoris and said lightsaber are found freshly Force barbecued, alone in his room. Finally, Corran has a chance to shine...as a detective and a TA. Not so much as a Jedi. Most unfortunately, Corran becomes increasingly distracted by how hot Tionne looks in green library lighting, while Luke is increasingly distracted by the latest sadboi to show up at the Academy -- one Kyp Durron.

This is a fun set of chapters, although not a lot of plot happens. Corran comes to terms with the fact that although he can run really, really far, he is not a "boy genius" when in comes to the Force -- and might actually be the most repressed sentient on the planet. Slowly, he comes to trust his fellow students and his own emotions (on a good day). But he also worries he will be seduced by a woman who clearly has no romantic interest in him and who is definitely way more interested in floating rocks. We see first hand that Luke was a home schooled kid whose teachers thought he would die and is now a man who has no idea how to actually run a school. Despite all that, the hot tub time machine/Force field trip experience M. Skywalker takes his students on does sound rad. The Force: it's pretty neat!

Wedge drives like a maniac across Coruscant and we get some glimpses of the Imperial Palace (tacky!!!), as well as the successful Force-based therapy practice Luke Skywalker could have run if he wasn't so obsessed with being a Jedi Master. He and Wedge agree: the way to get Mirax back is for Corran to become a Jedi. Corran isn't totally convinced until he listens to an old voice mail from his dead dad. Before he leaves for Yavin, he starts running a couple two three five k's a day just to make sure he can win at Jedi on day one. And he has lunch with his old friend Iella, who helps him dye his hair, drops some hot goss about the Invids, and gently reminds him that he's a highly competitive, overly analytical maniac who just signed up for a master's degree in how to be in touch with his emotions. As patrons have warned in the chat, a tidal wave of misogyny and sexy baby pirate baddie is coming down the pike, so we will cherish Corran's entirely platonic lunch with a female friend who is written like a real person (and a person who has been to therapy!) while we have it. Despite Iella's warning, Corran is still shocked to arrive on Yavin and learn that Luke's plan for him is not to do jungle work outs and spy on his fellow students, but rather to not worry about what time it is and feel feelings. What is this hippie bullcrap! Plus, some light Andor chat.

The chat has spoken and we dive in to the first few chapters of I, Jedi -- which (as advertised) is a first person account of being a Jedi. Luckily for us, that first person is Corran Horn: noted fighter pilot, recovering narc, short king, and galactic-level grump doing his best Sam Spade impression. We follow Corran as he battles space pirates, his own insecurities over becoming a father, and watching his good friend Ooryl eat breakfast. But just as Corran triumphantly returns home via Coruscant Municipal Transit ready to get his wife hella pregnant, he realizes Mirax is gone. And not just on a work trip, but also in a more mysterious, extra-gone Jedi way. Luckily everyone's BFF Wedge has taken a break from starfightering to have a midlife crisis doing architecture on Coruscant and helps Corran assemble an elite team of Corellian wife guys to get Mirax back. Oh, and wouldn't you know it - his friend Luke (the Jedi one) is also in town and might be able to help, too.

Our intrepid hosts valiantly struggle against a sinus infection and the city of Denver to bring you the THRILLING CONCLUSION to the NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING SAGA of The Crystal Star. The twins escape with the help of the true star of this novel, Mistress Dragon. Leia, Chewie and their new friend Rallao consult an elephant who never forgets (the name of any being enslaved in the galaxy) and have an incredible run of showing up just where they need to be for the plot to move forward. Han finally gets the perfect amount of drunk on vacation, only to have it wasted on an afternoon of saving his brother-in-law from a cult leader preying on his untreated depression. Anakin steals a space Turkish delight and is almost eaten by an evil chair. Mr. Threep's purple paint job does not survive, but all our heroes do, and the fly off into the sunset as evil sofa Waru is finally able to phone home. And speaking of Correllian wife guys who are really annoyed Luke Skywalker is harshing their vibe... our next book will be as the chat wills it. Michael A Stackpole's I, Jedi.

Please enjoy this latest effort, late and paltry though it is - our hosts unfortunately live in the United States, which is going through some [redacted] times and also a gnarly flu season. In a galaxy far far away, most of our heroes are having a time of it as well. Han is really regretting his choice to vacation with a Jedi, especially after they run into his ex-girl friend, who introduces them to an all-powerful living sofa. Leia and Chewie try to find the kidnapped children with the power of the Dark Side (?) and expired eye shadow. Jacen and Jaina are reunited through the power of Force hi jinks.

Our latest entry starts with a bang. Literally. Chewbacca gets blown up and the three Organa-Solo kids are kidnapped. Everyone around Leia gaslights her into thinking maybe it's an unserious kidnapping (because apparently that's a thing!) — except master detective R2 Freakin' D2 who is on the case and fully prepared to do a murder if necessary to solve it. Luke Skywalker and Han Solo would probably have some feelings about the kidnapping, but they're on vacation near a black hole that blocks all cell service so they have no idea. Jaina Solo is pretty pissed about having to survive on crappy soup and being forcibly separated from her brothers. She makes a friend only to have that kid immediately sold into slavery by a Force-sensitive Empire-revival cultist — but hey, there's a cool dragon! Also, 3PO is purple.

As the New York Times best-selling saga of the Callista trilogy draws to a close, Kelly and Emily are joined by a surprise guest who weighs in on who gets to decide what's in a Star Wars novel, why Han Solo is totally cool being a Wife Guy, and the power of body swaps.

It's a Lunar New Year Miracle (we finished more than 3 chapters of a Hambly!). Leia and Callista have some dorm room conversations on the nature of power and its uses. Luke returns to his first love (hotwiring speeders and driving across the desert like a lunatic). Leia returns to her first love (small artillery fire). Threepio and Artoo continue bouncing around the galactic postal system. We find out that the Spook crystals ARE talking and Luke becomes their Lorax. Han Solo finally gets to hug his wife. Callista continues on her own path. GMOs are revealed as the ultimate evil. And one of Star Wars’ most baffling ‘ships appears like a Death Star on the horizon. 11.5/12 parsecs.If you want to vote on what comes next, join us over on the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/DelusionsofGrandeurPod

Leia decides it's time get up off the couch. Seti Ashgad gets a horrifying makeover. Dyzym's whole deal is revealed and it's NOT COOL. Luke gets a late night Force call and heads into the desert. Threepio gets a wig and gets creative but refuses to get impolite. Han and Lando continue to breathe somewhere in the galaxy. Callista shows up, mostly to roast Luke. And we find out that no matter where you are in the galaxy everything evolves back to CRABS eventually.

Sure, a lot of plot-related things happen in these chapters and all of our main characters seem to have new careers — Luke's a mechanic, Leia's an expert locksmith, and Han is a space EMT. But let's be real. THE MOST important thing to focus on is: what should Threepio and R2 call their family band?! Goldenrod and the Twerp?NSFW(ookies)?Festering Jizzboxes?Please send us any and all ideas: swdelusionspod at gmail dot com. There is no wrong answer.

Things are picking up, pilgrims. Han and Chewie's poolside vacation at a former concubine's condo is derailed when Leia doesn't show up as planned. Leia is once again forced to deal with two-bit aristocrats while high. Luke embraces his inner desert rat, leading him straight to his favorite kind of teacher: an obviously insane elderly Jedi. Artoo and Threepio are stolen by a two-bit Alderaanian version of Han Solo. Artoo refuses to let the loss of his voice or his wheelies stop him from committing aggravated assault.