18-Year-Old Parenting Tools

Mental health is a crucial part of every teen's overall well-being. As teens transition into young adulthood, they face complex emotional challenges that can affect their mental health. Much like physical health, mental health needs care and attention, making it essential to provide teens with the tools to build resilience and maintain emotional well-being.Teens between the ages of 15 and 19 are going through many transitions, including increased academic demands, evolving friendships, and forming their identities. These changes can be overwhelming, and teens can find the changes difficult without proper tools to manage emotions. Your guidance as a parent or someone in a parenting role is crucial in helping them learn how to maintain mental health and build emotional resilience.In some cases, intense stressors such as family mental health issues or trauma can impact a teen’s mental health. If you or your teen has experienced such difficulties, seeking external support from professionals is important. However, the steps outlined here can help your teen develop everyday skills to navigate mental health challenges and build resilience.Why Mental Health?Whether it's your teen feeling anxious about an upcoming test, overwhelmed by social dynamics, or dealing with low self-esteem, attending to mental health is essential. In the short term, teaching mental health awareness skills can foster:●      Increased confidence in managing emotions and maintaining balance●      Better connections with family, friends, and peers by improving communication and understanding●      Greater self-awareness and emotional regulationIn the longer term, your teen can develop:●      Emotional awareness and the ability to understand and articulate their feelings●      Resilience in facing life's challenges and stressors●      Healthy coping mechanisms to manage stress, anxiety, and other mental health concernsFive Steps for Mental HealthThis five-step process[1]  will guide you and your teen through strategies to support mental health, increase emotional resilience, and build lifelong skills. Tip: Intentional communication[2]  and actively growing a healthy parenting relationship[3]  will support these steps.Step 1: Get Your Teen Thinking by Getting Their InputEngage your teen in a conversation about their mental health. By asking open-ended questions, you give them the opportunity to reflect on their emotions and experiences. This process promotes self-awareness and encourages them to identify areas they want to work on.Questions to Ask:●      “What emotions have been the hardest for you to manage recently?”●      “Can you describe times when you feel[4]  anxious or overwhelmed?”●      “What do you do when you’re feeling down or frustrated?”●      “What do you do when your emotions feel out of control?”Active Listening: Practice active listening by paraphrasing their feelings to show understanding, e.g., “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed when...

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play a crucial role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship, and growing skills in reading is a great way to do it.  Reading is essential for your teen’s success in school. Reading also plays a critical role in your teen’s ●      social and emotional development[1] ●      language competence●      executive functions like working memory and self-control  ^1^●      connection to you●      empathy and understanding of others●      imagination (ability to “see” the story) ^2^●      ability to choose healthy behaviors (preventing high-risk behaviors and unhealthy choices)Researchers have found that social, emotional, and cognitive development cannot be separated. They directly and indirectly impact one another. ^3^ Teens exercise their responsible decision-making skills and moral development as they reflect on their favorite characters’ choices and outcomes.  Teens ages fifteen to nineteen are in the process of learning how to read larger, more complicated texts and extracting meaning from them. They are required, in school, to think abstractly about their reading and to decipher metaphors, symbols, and cultural themes. Your teen will establish critical learning habits through reading that will extend throughout their school years. Reading is best learned with parents, grandparents, and other loved ones. In fact, “The single most important activity for building skills essential for reading success appears to be reading aloud to children.” ^4^Parents tend to stop reading aloud as children age and become more competent readers. However, even high school and college students (and adults) benefit from collaborative reading or reading aloud. In reading together, you deepen your caring connection (relationship skills). You are imagining together. You are making meaning of words and worlds. You and your teen gain insight into characters’ inner lives (thoughts and feelings) in a way that no other source can allow you access (social awareness). And with that exploration of others’ experiences, you learn more about yourself (self-awareness) and what you value (responsible decision-making).In addition to reading aloud together, there is value in reading on your own together. Older teens can pause and reflect with you about the complexities of what they are reading. Those discussions can deepen your intimacy and their social awareness and understanding of the text, in addition to exploring the feelings and symbolism they may encounter.Yet, anyone can face challenges when it comes to establishing a daily reading routine. Families today are busier than ever, with more demands on their time. Teenagers are highly entertained and stimulated by technology, so it may take more encouragement than past generations to start reading. But once you get into a routine and make it a joyful experience, it can enrich your family life and deepen your intimacy while promoting valuable skills for school and life success. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to support family reading cooperatively.Why Reading?Becoming intentional about a daily reading routine, looking for ways to incorporate reading into your family time spent together, and considering the quality of the experience of how you read together can all contribute to a teen’s development. Today, in the short term, reading can create●      greater...

Trust is an essential foundation for every healthy relationship. As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your eighteen-year-old’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship and understand how to promote trust in your teen.Teens and emerging young adults ages 15-19 are in the process of exerting their independence and spending more time with peers. They are working on understanding and predicting others’ thoughts and feelings. As they do, they also may seek to hide the truth, particularly if they fear harsh judgment from respected adults or peers. They are also testing boundaries and taking more risks socially and academically. Often, that risk-taking can lead to mistakes, misbehaviors, or even failure. Teens may be tempted to cover up their failures or want to take risks their parents may not permit. Though younger children cannot distinguish between the subtleties of deception, teens and emerging adults can understand the differences between honest mistakes, guesses, and exaggerations, as well as sarcasm and irony. As part of their cognitive and moral development, a full understanding of lying and its consequences continues to develop throughout childhood and adolescence. The key to many parenting challenges, like raising teens who learn the value of truth-telling, is finding ways to communicate to meet your and your teen’s needs. The steps below will prepare you to help your teen learn more about your family values, how they relate to lying, and how you can grow and deepen your trusting relationship.Why Lying?Whether it’s your fifteen-year-old lying about where they went after school or your seventeen-year-old lying about failing a test, your teen’s ability to tell the truth can become a regular challenge if you don’t create plans and strategies.Today, in the short term, honesty can create●      greater opportunities for connection and enjoyment ●      trust in each other●      a sense of well-being for a parent and teens●      added daily peace of mindTomorrow, in the long term, your teen●      builds skills in self-awareness●      builds skills in social awareness, perspective-taking, empathy, and compassion●      builds skills in self-control●      develops moral and consequential thinking and decision-makingFive Steps for Teaching Your Teen About HonestyThis five-step process helps you teach your teen about honesty. It also builds essential skills in your teen. The same process can also be used to address other parenting issues (learn more about the process[1] ).Tip: These steps are best when you and your teen are not tired or in a rush. Tip: Intentional communication[2]  and a healthy parenting relationship[3]  support these steps.Step 1. Get Your Teen Thinking by Getting Their InputYou can get your teen thinking about honesty by asking them open-ended questions. You’ll help prompt your teen’s thinking. You’ll also better understand their thoughts, feelings, and challenges related to honesty so that you can address them. In gaining input, your teen●      has the opportunity to become more aware of how they are thinking and feeling related to lies and truth●      can begin to formulate what it means to be in...

Eighteen-year-olds require the ability to follow directions to succeed at home, school, and their job. Whether they are completing homework, following safety instructions, or showing their knowledge on tests, they will need to be able to follow directions. Though telling your teen to do something may seem simple, listening and engaging in several steps given in an instruction necessitates several brain functions in addition to motivational factors. Teens ages fifteen to nineteen are working on understanding what it means to act responsibly. They are working to understand the rules and apply them in various settings. They are working on their independence. They increasingly care for their bodies (eating right, getting exercise). They are learning about relationships (managing their feelings and impulses, empathizing and working through conflict, being dependable, and keeping promises). They meet school requirements (manage homework and extracurriculars) and contribute to the household in which they live (do chores and cooperate with rules and expectations). They are also working to define their identity. As they develop, as part of their growing self-awareness and self-management, they will test boundaries, forget things, and break rules. When they do, they require guidance on approaching a hurt relationship, revisiting missed obligations, and repairing harm. This is a normal part of their development and necessary for learning how to take responsibility. As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you can be deliberate in offering instructions to help your teen successfully follow directions. Understanding multiple-step directions engages their short-term and complex working memory, an executive function that requires practice and development over time. In the case of short-term memory, you might ask your teen, “Would you complete your homework before dinner, get your shower done after dinner, and be in bed by nine, please?” They need to remember those three items as they move on to their homework. In an academic setting, as another example, a teacher may say, “At the end of our class, I’ll give you time to take out your pencils, read the directions at the top of the page, and fill in only questions 3. and 5.” Students have to retain that information as the teacher moves on to other topics and also plan for what they will need to do when they come to the time when they have to implement the teacher’s instructions. This expectation utilizes complex working memory and can be challenging for students.^1^Following directions can involve all five core social and emotional competencies[1] . Teens may need to be aware of their strengths and limitations (self-awareness) to complete the tasks given. They must use their self-management skills to wait and focus on what’s been instructed when necessary. They may require social awareness or empathy as they work to understand the needs, feelings, and thoughts of the one giving them directions. They will use their relationship skills by listening actively to what’s required. They will also use their responsible decision-making skills to decide whether and how to follow through with a request or instruction.Some parents and those in a parenting role may feel frustrated and even angry when their teens do not follow their directions as they requested. A parent may perceive that a teen who is not following their directions is defiant or disrespectful, but in reality, there may be another reason for the behavior.  There are several factors to consider when a teen does not follow a direction. When faced with this situation, a parent may ask themselves:-       Does your teen have the total capacity and skills to follow the directions? -       Does your teen have any...

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship, and setting up a homework routine provides a terrific opportunity. Teens ages fifteen to nineteen are adapting their early school-age learning habits to meet their more demanding workload. They are establishing critical learning habits that will extend throughout their school years, including how they approach research and study. In addition to managing daily homework assignments, fifteen-to-nineteen-year-olds will be assigned longer-term projects. These may include research, writing, group coordination, and reading novels or longer nonfiction works. Frequently, teachers leave the planning and organizing of those projects up to the students. In these situations, teens may be challenged by tackling new, more complex content and figuring out how to work on the project over time. This can be a great test of patience.For most teens, homework is a nightly and ongoing reality. Research shows that a parent or someone in a parenting role plays a key role. Teens with a parent or someone in a parenting role supporting their learning at home and engaged in their school community have more consistent school attendance, better social skills, and higher grade point averages and test scores than those without. ^1^ Indeed, the best predictor of students’ academic achievement is parental involvement. Yet, there are challenges. You may discover outdated and incomplete assignments crumpled in your teen’s backpack. Or, your teen may procrastinate on a long-term project until it becomes a crisis the night before it’s due. Questioning their work may result in arguments when they have other goals. While getting a regular homework routine going might be challenging, it can be a positive experience and promote valuable skills for school and life success. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to support a homework routine.Why Homework?Teens and emerging young adults are managing a larger and more complex workload, new study skills, and longer-term projects. This will take a whole new level of planning and organization. Layered in with the day-to-day school assignments, there may also be future academic goals they want to reach (like going to college), which will require planning and incremental action steps. Schoolwork and school goals can become a daily challenge if you don’t create regular routines with input from your teen in advance, clarify roles and responsibilities, and establish a plan for success.Today, in the short term, homework routines can create●      greater cooperation and motivation●      greater opportunities for connection and enjoyment as you each implement your respective roles and feel set up for success ●      trust in each other that you have the competence to complete your responsibilities with practice and care●      less frustration due to better organization, space, and resources●      opportunities to learn about your teen’s school curriculum●      added daily peace of mindTomorrow, in the long term, your teen●      builds skills in collaboration and cooperative goal-setting●      builds skills in responsible decision-making, hard work, and persistence●      gains independence, life skills competence, and self-sufficiency●      develops positive learning habits that contribute directly to school successFive Steps for Creating a Homework...

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, your influence is vital in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship while instilling confidence in your teen to persist toward their goals and succeed in all areas of life. Everyone faces challenges, yet mistakes and failures are necessary for your eighteen-year-old’s learning and development. With your guidance and support, mistakes become a tool for learning and growing confidence.The key to any parenting issue is finding ways to communicate to meet your and your teen’s needs. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to prepare you as you address any issue with your teen.Why Any Issue?As you address any issues, you build the foundation for your teen’s development. Your focus on cultivating a safe, trusting relationship and promoting life skills can create:●      greater opportunities for connection, cooperation, and enjoyment ●      trust in each other●      a sense of well-being and motivationEngaging in these five steps is an investment that builds your skills as an effective parent or someone in a parenting role to use on any issues and builds essential skills that will last a lifetime for your teen. Throughout this tool, there are opportunities for teens to:●      become more self-aware and deepen their social awareness ●      exercise their self-management skills●      build their relationship skills●      demonstrate and practice responsible decision-making and problem-solvingFive Steps for Any IssueThis five-step process helps you and your teen with any issue. It builds critical life skills in your teen. The same process can be used to address other specific parenting issues (learn more about the process[1] ).Whether it’s your fifteen-year-old confiding in you that they are scared of learning to drive, your seventeen-year-old in high school crying that they have no close friends or your nineteen-year-old avoiding the pile of college applications, these steps and associated questions can help you support your teen. Tip: These steps are best done when you and your teen are not tired or in a rush. Tip: Intentional communication[2]  and healthy parenting relationships[3]  will support these steps. Based on your teen’s development milestones, you will want to focus on the following as you move through the five steps:●      Support your teen’s desire and capacity to evolve into adulthood and the changes that come with it. Focus on identifying and setting healthy boundaries as they grow. ●      Continue to build confidence and healthy practices around “self-talk” and how to reframe negative self-talk.●      Support your teen’s preparation for their goals beyond high school and encourage them to consider their choices, the resulting consequences, and responsible decision-making. ●      Give your teen space to determine how much or how little they need your support and input. If they need it, give them a chance to figure out things independently, try and fail at things, and support the exploration of lessons learned. Remind them you are there if and when they need...

ListeningNow Is the Right Time!As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship while building necessary listening skills in your teen. Your teen’s success depends on their ability to listen and understand what you and others communicate. Listening skills can support your teen’s ability to engage in healthy relationships, focus, and learn. For example, teens must listen to their teacher if they follow directions and successfully navigate expectations at school. Not surprisingly, better listening skills are associated with school success. Teens and emerging young adults ages 15-19 are transitioning between childhood and adulthood, learning about who they will become as independent people, their strengths and limitations, why they feel the way they do, and how they relate to others. This is also known as their self-awareness. They come to better understand themselves through interactions with you, their teachers, and their peers. This is a critical time to teach and practice listening skills. However, everyone encounters difficulties in listening. With screens, such as mobile devices, captivating teens for hours each day, it's easy to overlook chances to engage with your teen and practice listening skills. Effective listening involves utilizing crucial skills such as impulse control, focused attention, empathy, and nonverbal and verbal communication.For parents or those in a parenting role, the key to many challenges, like building essential listening skills, is finding ways to communicate to meet your and your teen’s needs. The steps below include specific and practical strategies to prepare you for growing this vital skill. Why Listening?Whether it’s your fifteen-year-old walking away frustrated while you are talking or your nineteen-year-old daydreaming during their teacher’s instructions and not understanding how to do their research paper, establishing regular ways of practicing listening skills can prepare your teen for family, school, and life success.Today, in the short term, teaching skills to listen effectively and reflectively can create●      greater opportunities for connection, cooperation, and enjoyment ●      trust in each other that you have the competence to manage your relationships and responsibilities ●      a sense of well-being and motivation to engage ●      language and literacy fluencyTomorrow, in the long term, working on effective listening skills with your teen●      develops a sense of safety, security, and a belief in self●      builds skills in self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making●      deepens family trust and intimacyFive Steps For Building Listening SkillsThis five-step process helps you and your teen cultivate effective listening skills, a critical life skill. The same process can also address other parenting issues (learn more about it)[1] .Tip: These steps are done best when you and your teen are not tired or in a rush. Tip: Intentional communication[2]  and healthy parenting relationships[3]  will support these steps.Step 1. Get Your Teen Thinking by Getting Their InputYou can get your teen thinking about listening...

Repairing HarmNow Is the Right Time!As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play am essential role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship. Teaching your teen to repair harm is a great opportunity. Your support in growing the skill of repairing harm can help your teen develop social awareness -- “the ability to understand the perspectives of and empathize with others, including those from diverse backgrounds, cultures, and contexts.”^1 They’ll develop relationship skills as they learn how to mend hurt feelings in friendships or with coaches, teachers, or mentors. They’ll also exercise responsible decision making, or “the ability to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior and social interactions across diverse situations,” learning that their choices cause a reaction or outcome, which can harm others or themselves.” ^1 These skills grow your teen’s sense of responsibility, while improving your relationship.Some parents and those in a parenting role feel that if they do not impose punishments, their teens will not understand that their behavior is inappropriate. When a teen is punished, they often feel angry or hurt. They also may feel that your intervention is unfair or unjust as they exert more independence. This impacts their relationship with you while failing to teach them the appropriate constructive behavior and build a skill. Your teen is likely to miss the lesson you want to emphasize. An even greater risk is that the injustice they feel can lead them to hide or not share challenging circumstances in their lives that you want to be aware of. Punishment often leads to more poor choices. A vicious cycle begins in which a teen feels bad about themselves and repeats the behaviors expected of a “bad teen.” To interrupt this cycle, parents and those in a parenting role need to learn to actively support them in repairing harm.You can expect that teens ages 15-19 will make mistakes, test limits, and break rules. And when they do, they only consider their impulses and desires and not how they might impact you or others. The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision making and reasoning, fully develops once your teen is in their mid-twenties, so it is natural for teens to forget to pause before acting. Teens require support and follow-through from parents and those in a parenting role to understand the impact and how to improve things. They need to understand that they always have another chance to repair harm. This skill is developed over time and requires a lot of practice.Research confirms that teens are developing higher-order thinking skills, such as consequential thinking and linking cause to effect.^2 This directly impacts their school, including college success, their ability to sustain healthy relationships, and their ability to take responsibility for their actions as they grow. Teens need the guidance and support of caring adults to learn these skills.Guidance on repairing harm can be challenging for many parents and those in a parenting role.^3 Instead of a quick, reflexive response like yelling, scolding, or punishing, repairing harm takes time, follow-through, and thoughtful consideration. Yet, it can become your teen's most powerful teaching opportunity as they learn to take responsibility for their actions and begin to understand how their choices impact others. As you utilize these teachable moments, your relationship with them will be enriched. The steps below include specific, practical strategies along with effective conversation starters.Why Guidance for Repairing Harm?When your fifteen-year-old hides a failed test, your sixteen-year-old lies about going to a friend’s house where there’s alcohol available, or your nineteen-year-old verbally fights with a neighbor, these situations are...

DisrespectNow Is the Right Time!As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to teach your teen to communicate well; working with them to transform disrespect is an excellent opportunity.  You can be purposeful and deliberate about responding when you feel your teen has shown disrespect through words or actions. This can occur because they feel angry or hurt toward a parent, teacher, or family member. They may lash out with words when they feel powerless in an attempt to gain power. You must offer ways for your teen to gain power while expressing hurt or angry feelings in ways that demonstrate respect. Learning to respond to anger constructively requires all five social and emotional skills[1] : self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making. Your reaction to your teen can help teach them constructive, healthy ways to be understood, seek and gain power, and respond to others respectfully when angry or upset. Seeking power is a typical human need. Everyone desires control over their lives. Yet, teens may often feel they lack control over their circumstances, leading to frustration. One essential role parents or those in a parenting role can play is to educate their teens on positive ways to seek and use power. Yet, when they are disrespectful, it can offend or hurt personally. Parents often need to deal with their upset feelings, calming down before responding so that they react in ways that take advantage of the teachable opportunity.Some parents or those in a parenting role feel that if they do not impose punishments, their teens will not understand that their behavior is inappropriate. When a teen is punished, they often feel scared, humiliated, and hurt. This overwhelming sense of fear or hurt impacts their relationship with you while also failing to teach them the appropriate behavior. Your teen’s sense of injustice and anger may increase. Most importantly, your teen will likely miss the lesson you want to emphasize and feel unsafe. Research confirms that when teens learn to identify, understand, and experience big emotions without feeling overcome, they can better manage their behavior, problem-solve, and focus their attention.^1 Teens need the guidance and support of caring adults to learn these skills.Many parents or those in a parenting role find respect challenging. Approaching power-seeking words and actions as teachable moments that grow your teen’s skills can transform your relationship.Why Transform Disrespect?When your fifteen-year-old yells that she hates you when frustrated with your “No” response or your eighteen-year-old intentionally skips a family gathering when angry, these situations are opportunities to transform disrespect. Today, in the short term, transforming disrespect into learning how to use power and channel anger in healthy ways can create●      a sense of confidence that you can help your teen regain calm and focus●      a greater understanding in you of the connection between your teen’s feelings and their behaviors ●      trust in each other that you have the competence to manage your intense feelings●      a growing understanding of rules and expectations Tomorrow, in the long term, transforming disrespect helps your teen●      build skills in self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationships, and responsible decision making ●      learn independence and...

Back Talk Now Is the Right Time!As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play a crucial role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship, and growing your teen’s skills to respectfully communicate provides a perfect opportunity. Conflict happens in families -- between spouses, among siblings, and between parents and teens. Arguing in family life is typical. “Back talk” can be defined as “argumentative replies.”^1 Teens can respond in anger, hurt, and frustration, using hurtful tones or words. But back talk also represents a power imbalance teens are trying to rectify. Power, after all, is a basic human need. Teens and young adults ages 15-19 are growing their listening, empathy, assertive communication, and problem-solving skills. Growing your teen’s skills to respond assertively but non-aggressively is essential to their success.Anyone may face challenges with back talk. “You can’t tell me what to do!” your teen may exclaim in anger and frustration when you say “No” to an unsupervised party where peers may be drinking. Your teen’s responses can make you angry and upset. As your teen develops, they must test their limits and rules to internalize them. This can lead to arguments between you and your teen. They will also have evolving emotional needs and may lack the communication skills necessary to ask for what they need. Using the steps below can help navigate this challenge with skill. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to prepare you.Why Back Talk?Whether it’s your fifteen-year-old screaming, “I hate you!” in a fight, your junior in high school shouting, “No, I won’t stop!” when screen time is over, or your nineteen-year-old crying, “It’s all your fault,” when they get rejected by their college of choice, establishing healthy ways of responding to life’s most challenging moments is a vital skill your teen needs to thrive. Today, in the short term, teaching skills to respond to disagreements in healthy ways can create●      greater opportunities for connection, cooperation, and enjoyment ●      trust in each other, and●      a sense of well-being and motivation  Tomorrow, in the long term, teaching your teen effective ways to communicate their feelings and needs●      develops a sense of safety, security, and self-belief●      grows skills in self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, responsible decision-making, and●      deepens family trust and intimacyFive Steps for Managing Back TalkThis five-step process helps you and your teen communicate during your toughest, most emotional moments in ways that do not harm. It also grows essential critical life skills. The same process can also address other parenting issues (learn more about the process[1] ).Tip: These steps are done best when you and your teen are not tired or in a rush. Tip: Intentional communication[2]  and healthy parenting relationships[3]  will support these steps.Step 1. Get Your Teen Thinking by Getting Their InputYou can get your teen thinking about healthy ways to communicate by asking them open-ended questions. You’ll help prompt your teen’s thinking. You’ll also better understand their thoughts, feelings, and challenges related to how they feel when confronting them so that you can...

Technology UseNow Is the Right Time!As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play a crucial role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship and ensure they develop a healthy relationship with technology. Technology use has become essential to your teen’s life and learning in school. It has the potential to play a role in:●      social and emotional development[1] ●      language development●      connection to friends, family, and others●      academic learning●      empathy and understanding of others●      imagination●      ability to choose healthy behaviors (preventing high-risk behaviors and unhealthy choices)Teens ages 15-19 range from the middle of adolescence to their emerging adult years beginning at ages 18-19, where they will cultivate their independent identity. Additionally, they’ll experiment with and learn social skills through forging and prioritizing friendships and peer opinions. They will create more independent relationships with teachers, coaches, and you while demonstrating competence or mastery in extracurricular activities like sports, music, or other areas. Yet, technology can pose challenges. Nationally, the majority of parents say that parenting is harder than it was twenty years ago, and most point to technology as the primary reason.^1 Let’s take a deeper look at the screen time habits of this age group: ^2-       15-18-year-olds are on screens an average of 8-9 hours per day, with boys an average of one hour longer than girls. Most of this screen time is spent watching online videos.-       The second most utilized technology is video gaming, with 39% of teens reporting they enjoy gaming “a lot” and an average usage of nearly two hours daily.Screen time can take away time from family being together and growing intimate connections. Indeed, addiction can become a real threat as those jolts of happy hormones (dopamine) are fueled; infinite scrolling is the norm on social media, and games are programmed to keep them perpetually engaged. Daily device use can take time away from other critical pursuits for their physical, social, emotional, and cognitive development, such as reading, playing outdoors, unstructured creative time, friend time, homework, and more. The kinds of content that a teen can view or stumble into online can range from mildly irritating to disturbing and dangerous, whether it involves repeated consumer messages, cartoon violence, graphic violence, fake news, or even pornography. Additionally, teens can encounter social aggression and bullying online and through social media, which can hurt uniquely since they can be more publicly exposed than most in-person incidents.We know that growing a healthy relationship with technology requires regular conversations and a commitment from the whole family to become intentional about their use of technology, including appropriate boundaries and safety practices. Approach this topic with empathy and recognize that the devices and apps are designed to make the user stay engaged and want more. Acknowledge with your teen that adults have difficulty setting boundaries with technology use.  While it may take more time, planning, and encouragement with your teen to develop a healthy relationship with technology, its role can become a joyful experience, enrich your family life, and promote valuable skills for school and life success. It can also prepare your teen for a lifetime of wise habits...

ChoresNow Is the Right Time!As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship; including them in daily chores provides an excellent opportunity. Chores allow your teen to play a role in contributing to the maintenance and care of your family’s household. Teens and emerging young adults ages 15-19 are learning and establishing lifestyle habits that will extend throughout their lifetime, whether making their beds in the morning, doing their dirty dishes, or cleaning up their games and supplies. Teens who do chores learn that part of being in a family contributes to the work and responsibilities of family life. When they pitch in, it creates a sense of autonomy, belonging, and competence. Research has found that the best predictor of success in young adulthood can be directly traced back to whether a child began doing chores at an early age, as young as three or four.^1 But it’s never too late to begin! Another study linked children doing chores to positive mental health in their early adulthood.^2 The skills and habits your teen develops in caring for your family home will serve them well as they make their own independent home in the not-too-distant future. And, for today, doing chores teaches a work ethic essential in helping teens persist toward any type of goal. Yet, there are challenges. Teen’s schedules are busy. After school, your teen may have soccer practice, several hours of homework, and a desire to socialize with friends. “Why do I have to bring in the garbage cans? My friends don’t,” you may hear from your fifteen-year-old. Whether cleaning up their room or setting the table for dinner, your teen may express resistance  when they have other goals in mind, like, “How can I socialize or game longer?” The key to many parenting challenges, like chores, is finding ways to communicate to meet your and your teen’s needs. Daily chores are also a way for your teen to learn valuable skills like timeliness and responsibility. The steps below include specific, practical strategies and effective conversation starters to prepare you.Why Chores?Whether asking your fifteen-year-old to make their bed and turn off their lights each day or reminding your eighteen-year-old to rinse their dishes and put them in the dishwasher after dinner, these can become your daily challenges if you don’t create regular routines with input from your teen.Today, in the short term, chores can create●      greater cooperation and motivation as you go about your daily tasks ●      greater opportunities for connection and enjoyment as you each implement your respective roles and feel set up for success ●      trust that your teen has the competence to complete responsibilities with practice and care, and ●      added daily peace of mind.Tomorrow, in the long term, your teen●      builds skills in collaboration and cooperative goal-setting ●      builds skills in responsible decision-making, hard work, and persistence; and●      gains independence, life skills competence, and self-sufficiencyFive Steps for Establishing ChoresThis five-step process helps you and your teen establish routines and builds important skills in your teen. The same process can also be used to address other parenting issues (learn more about the process)[1] .Tip: These steps are done best when you and your teen are not tired or in a rush. Tip: Intentional...

AngerNow Is the Right Time!As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play a valuable role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship. Growing your teen’s skills to manage anger provides a terrific opportunity. Teens and emerging adults ages 15-19 still learn about their strong and changing feelings. They may not fully understand the physical and mental takeover that can occur when angry. While striving for more independence, the sense of a lack of control that anger can produce can frighten them, adding to the length and intensity of their upset. It might also humiliate them if they are mad in front of respected others like teachers, siblings, friends, or relatives. Teens may feel social pains more acutely because of the increasing importance of the roles of peers in their lives. Learning how to deal with anger without suppressing it, beating it down, or expressing it by hurting others and themselves is critical. Your support and guidance matter greatly.Research confirms that when teens learn to manage their feelings, their executive functions are simultaneously strengthened. ^1 They can better use self-control, problem-solve, and focus their attention, directly impacting their school success. However, the opposite is also true. Teens who do not learn to manage their feelings through the guidance and support of caring adults may have attention issues and difficulty solving problems.Anger is not bad or negative. You should not avoid or shut down the experience of it. There’s a good reason for it. Everyone has experienced someone who has lost control and acted in ways that harmed themselves or others when angry. However, every feeling, including anger, serves a critical purpose. Anger provides essential information about who a person is, what emotional or physical needs are not getting met, and where their boundaries lie. Understanding this often misunderstood feeling is key to helping your teens better understand themselves and learn healthy ways to manage their intense feelings.^1Everyone can face challenges in feeling overcome by anger. Your teen may slam the bedroom door as they refuse to tell you what is happening and why they are so upset. Anger may cover hurt, humiliation, fear, and stress. It may also mask guilt, shame, grief, or envy.  As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an important role in helping your teen better understand their experience as they learn to identify their feelings and needs better.Why Anger?Whether your fifteen-year-old melts down in frustration over trying to get math homework accomplished or your nineteen-year-old yells after not being allowed to attend an unsupervised party, anger, and its many accompanying feelings can become a regular challenge if you don’t help your teen create plans and strategies for coping with and making space to express anger.Today, in the short term, learning to manage anger can create●      a sense of confidence in your teen that they can regain calm and focus●      trust in each other that you and your teen have the competence to make space for  a range of feelings in healthy ways and●      added daily peace of mindTomorrow, in the long term, your teen●      builds skills in self-awareness●      builds skills in self-control and managing feelings, and●      build assertive communication to communicate critical needs and boundaries to keep them healthy and safe Five Steps for Managing AngerThis five-step process helps you and your teen manage anger and builds essential skills in your teen. The same process can also address other

As a parent or those in a parenting role, you play a crucial role in your teen's success. There are intentional ways to develop a healthy parent-teen relationship while growing confidence in your teen to work to meet their goals and achieve success in life and school.

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your teen’s success and health. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship, and creating rules about cannabis helps establish the supportive conditions that equip your teen to manage risk.

As a parent or those in a parenting role, you play an important role in your eighteen-year-old’s success. Supporting your teen in learning to understand and deal with bullying behavior is important for their success in and out of school. One in five children experiences bullying, which can come in the form of repeated name-calling, insults, rumors, taunting, social exclusion, or physical harm.^

Teens ages 15-19 are actively engaged in seeking ways to assert their independence with confidence but may also feel vulnerable and insecure about their future adult lives. Teens will naturally test limits and break rules. In fact, some of the conditions of adolescent development add to the likelihood that they will break rules, such as your teen’s desire for increasing independence, their need for risk taking, their sexual curiosity and development, and their need to fit in and seek the approval of peers. This is a natural part of development and necessary for learning and gaining maturity. 

As a parent or those in a parenting role, you play an important role in your teen’s success. Helping your teen nurture and grow healthy friendships is essential. Your teen develops a sense of belonging through relationships. They gain a better understanding of themselves through their interactions with you, their teachers, and their peers. 

As a parent or those in a parenting role, you play an important part in helping your teen develop empathy. Empathy is the way people effectively relate to one another. It’s the ability to perceive what other people are feeling, understand that information, and respond in a compassionate way. There are intentional ways to develop a healthy parent-teen relationship while growing your teen’s capacity for empathy from the time they are infants all the way through their teen years. Empathy is critical for your teen to experience healthy happy relationships because it allows for emotional connection to others. It begins early with family and friends and extends as they develop into successful school, work, social, and even romantic relationships.

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play a vital role in your teen's success. There are intentional ways to foster a healthy parent-teen relationship, and assisting your teen in learning how to deal with peer pressure provides a valuable opportunity.

Teens and adults alike feel stress. Stress is usually caused by an external trigger like an angry brother or sister yelling, “You can’t wear my new sweatshirt!” or a parent or those in a parenting role insisting a teen come home from a friend’s house to work on a science project they have been avoiding. Feelings of stress are built-in mechanisms for human survival and safety. These feelings are the body’s way of warning you when there is a threat and calling your focus to problems that need attention. A stressor can be one-time or ongoing.  On the other hand, anxiety is the body’s reaction to stress and can occur even if there is no current threat. While all humans experience some anxiety, when worries and fears become persistent, they can begin to interfere with everyday life and impact your teen’s health.  As a parent or those in a parenting role, you can guide your teen to learn to identify and manage their stress -- a valuable skill they will use throughout life. 

As a parent or someone in a parenting role, you play an important role in your teen’s success and growth. There are intentional ways to nurture a healthy parent-teen relationship, and daily routines provide a great opportunity. 

As a parent or those in a parenting role, you play a critical role in your teen’s success. There are intentional ways to grow a healthy parent-teen relationship, and growing your teen’s skills to manage conflict provides an ideal opportunity.

Teens will not only be observing and contemplating differences in the world, they may be intentionally seeking more diversity as they journey into life after high school, whether that involves college or the work world. Parents or those in a parenting role can support teens as they make sense of differences among people by openly talking to them about what they see and creating a safe, trusting space to call attention to issues.

Now is the right time to become more fully aware of your teen's challenges regarding alcohol and how you can equip them for success.

As a parent or those in a parenting role, you play an essential role in your teen's success. There are intentional ways to cultivate a healthy parent-teen relationship, and creating rules about alcohol helps promote the supportive conditions that are essential for your teen to deal with risk.

Eighteen-year-olds understand what it means to act responsibly. They are: ● working to understand and apply the rules in numerous settings. ● working to gain their independence. ● increasingly invested in caring for their bodies (eating right, exercising). ● caring for and growing their relationships (managing their feelings and impulses, empathizing and working through conflict, keeping promises, and being dependable). ● focusing on homework and extracurricular activities. ● contributing to their household (completing chores and cooperating with family rules and expectations).

Now is the right time to become more aware of the challenges regarding cannabis that may face your teen and how you can support their healthy decision-making and success.