40ish & Figuring It Out

Ever stare at a messy room, feel the pressure rise, and freeze anyway? That’s where Katie starts—naming the fog, questioning old assumptions about ADHD, and sharing the small, human tools that finally moved the needle. No scripts, no tidy outline, just an honest walk through midlife brain wiring, why structure soothes, and how a body-doubling app plus swing music turned a chaotic living room into a 90-minute win.We dig into the clues that stacked up over time: thriving with clear rules as a kid, hating the looseness of college, loving pattern-spotting and detail sleuthing at work, then avoiding tedious admin like it bites. Katie explains how doom piles happen, why perfectionism blocks podcast editing, and how dopamine drives both hyperfocus and last-minute sprints. You’ll hear about multi-sport childhoods, series binges, craft phases, and the shock of seeing your habits mirrored in someone else’s reel—and finally feeling seen instead of flawed.There’s also a candid look at family dynamics, inherited tendencies, and the real fear of growing a “doom room.” Katie reframes the problem with practical design: body doubling for chores, focus music for momentum, short visible wins, and permission to release imperfect work. Even a youth soccer tournament heartbreak becomes a lesson in process over outcomes, reminding us that conditions aren’t always fair, but effort still matters.If your brain craves novelty, resists chores, and comes alive under a deadline, you’ll find tools and relief here. Try a body-doubling session, pick a five-minute task, loop a focus track, and celebrate the finish. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs hope for their messy middle, and leave a review so more women can find these strategies and feel less alone.@adhd_love_ on InstagramTry the Dubbii app in your app storeSend a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

Ever wake up tired and wonder how that’s even possible after a full night’s sleep? We go straight to the root and name what so many in their late 30s and 40s are feeling: this isn’t a sleep problem, it’s a capacity problem. Between work, kids, aging parents, and the weight of being “on” for everyone, the mind and body are carrying more than they were built to carry nonstop—and the bill comes due as decision fatigue, compassion fatigue, and a constant energy drain.Katie shares a raw snapshot from a chaotic December when her husband was sick, holiday logistics piled up, and every spare minute turned into caregiving, planning, and worry. From there, we get practical: why movement can lift mood when motivation is low, how perimenopause compounds stress signals, and the simple reframe that changes everything—rest isn’t a reward for getting enough done; it’s a requirement for staying human. We talk about micro-resets that actually work, like ten-minute decompression rituals after stressful drives, and the small choices that add margin without adding guilt.The heart of the conversation centers on boundaries and discernment. You’ll hear how to say no to obligations that don’t fit, ask better questions about your real bandwidth, and choose supportive over impressive. We also unpack the let-them mindset for relationships that drain you, learning to release what you can’t control so you can protect your peace and show up for the people who meet you halfway. Expect a candid, compassionate guide to sustaining your energy, honoring your limits, and finding relief that lasts longer than a latte.If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a tired friend, and leave a quick rating or review—then tell us: what are you ready to stop carrying this week?Send a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

What if “too late” is the wrong question and the better one is “what do I actually want now?” We dig into the midlife pivot with humor and honesty, peeling back the fear of looking foolish, the pressure to be instantly good, and the myth that everyone else got the memo on timing. From career changes to first creative attempts, we explore how to begin again without blowing up your life or your budget.I share why podcasting became my laboratory for starting messy and staying consistent, including the reality of working without sponsors and carving out time around a day job. We talk about the real costs—money, energy, visibility—and the underrated advantages of being 40-ish: clearer boundaries, sharper instincts, and the ability to spot red flags early. You’ll hear personal stories, from my dad launching his own architecture business in his 40s to a one-year job detour that wasn’t ideal but led to friendships that changed everything. These aren’t highlight reels; they’re proof that experience is the upgrade, not the obstacle.If you’ve been sitting on a new path—writing a script, changing fields, starting a business—we walk through reversible steps that reduce risk and build momentum: small pilots, trusted feedback, simple outreach, and a plan that respects the bills while growing your craft. The most useful reframe might be the simplest: time will pass either way. Five years from now, do you want to be wondering or living differently? Try this prompt to unlock honest desire: If it wasn’t too late, what would I let myself want?If this conversation resonates, tap follow, leave a quick review, and share it with a friend who needs the nudge. Your words help more 40-ish listeners find their next brave step.Send a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

The waves of grief never truly stop—but they can get smaller when the logistics are clear. Author Lynn Stone joins us to share how her husband’s unexpected passing led her to create a practical, compassionate guide for end-of-life planning that puts love first. This conversation moves past stigma and superstition and into simple actions that protect the people we care about most.We walk through the real costs families face—from funeral expenses and burial or cremation fees to the surprising price of death certificates—and why a single life insurance policy often isn’t enough. Lynn breaks down the essentials: durable and medical powers of attorney, advance directives, beneficiary reviews, and adding payable-on-death designations at the bank. She also explains why documenting passwords and digital accounts may be the single most helpful step you can take this week. Along the way, we talk about organizing important documents in a fire safe or structured file system, setting a regular review cadence, and “cross-training” at home so no one is left in the dark about bills, maintenance, or daily routines.Beyond the checklists, Lynn speaks openly about therapy, widow support groups, and the fog that follows loss. Her story shows how preparation eases decision fatigue during the hardest days and how planning can strengthen families long before they need it. If you’ve avoided the topic because it feels scary or morbid, this episode offers a kinder frame: planning is an act of love, a way to lower the height of future waves, and a gift of peace for the people who will carry your memory forward.If this conversation helps, share it with someone who needs encouragement to start. Subscribe for more honest, practical talks, and leave a review to help others find the show.Connect with Lynn on FacebookConnect with her website and buy her book on AmazonSend a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

What if the uneasy feeling you can’t name isn’t a problem to fix but a signal that something new is forming? We open up about the midlife identity shift many of us feel around forty and trade the pressure to reinvent for a kinder process of remembering, editing, and choosing with intention. The roles that once defined us grow quieter, and that silence can feel like loss—until we notice the space it creates for a fuller self to step forward.We walk through a simple reframe: you’re not lost; you’re between versions. From there, we get practical. Katie shares how returning to dance—on her terms—became a way to reconnect with joy without performing for anyone. We talk about bodies that need different care, finding movement that fits real life, and why tiny, sustainable steps beat flashy comebacks. Creativity shows up too: hand embroidery as a focused, meditative practice that invites flow, calm, and self-trust in small pockets of time.Curiosity doesn’t stop at old loves. We dig into trying something brand new—like writing—without waiting for permission, credentials, or perfect conditions. Expect ideas for low-cost experiments through community classes, ways to rekindle learning without chasing a degree, and prompts to spot the parts of you asking to be reintroduced. If you’ve been wrestling with guilt for wanting more or feeling unsure about what comes next, this conversation offers language, tools, and a gentle nudge to start where you are.Ready to meet the next version of you with less pressure and more presence? Press play, then tell us what you’ll reintroduce or try this week. If this spoke to you, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who could use a hopeful reframe.Send a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

What if resilience isn’t about being tough—but about letting yourself be seen? Today we sit down with counselor and author Stacy Schaffer to explore how healing starts when we match our insides to our outsides. Stacy opens up about the pivotal moment a childhood friend asked what really happened the year she “disappeared,” and how choosing to own her story transformed her life and practice.We dive into the difference between “strong” and resilient, especially in the shock of grief. Stacy breaks down small, doable steps to build emotional resilience: practicing honesty with safe people, asking for listening instead of advice, and noticing defensiveness as a clue to unhealed places. Drawing from two decades of clinical work, she shares what kids teach us about growth—why naming feelings early prevents years of unhealthy coping—and how simple validation can change a child’s trajectory more than any five-step plan.We also face the hard realities today’s youth carry: lockdown drills, ubiquitous social media, and chronic anxiety that often feels rational. Stacy offers clear ways parents, teachers, and community members can be safe places, without rushing to fix. She talks about narrating her audiobook as a powerful integration practice, and why clinicians—and all of us—do better work when we do our own work. Midlife themes run throughout: setting boundaries, protecting capacity, and caring less about approval while caring more about congruence. If you’re craving practical tools and a compassionate reframe on resilience, this conversation will meet you where you are.Subscribe, share with a friend who’s doing their own emotional work, and leave a review to help more people find the show. What’s one small truth you’re ready to say out loud this week?Link to Stacy's website and where to buy her book HEREFind her on Instagram and FacebookSend a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

January doesn’t have to shout to matter. We’re kicking off 2026 by pressing pause on the pressure and choosing intention, reflection, and small, steady steps that actually fit a real life. Katie looks back on the quiet wins of 2025—starting the show without perfect timing, publishing through self-doubt, and caring for a sick spouse while keeping the mic warm—and shares how those moments reshaped what progress looks like in midlife.From there, we set a humane vision for the year ahead. Think depth over hype, alignment over aesthetics, and community over vanity metrics. You’ll hear our plans to grow the podcast thoughtfully, highlight women navigating midlife with honesty, and expand our lens from “figuring it out” to building, reclaiming, and becoming. We talk tiny, doable health shifts (hello, dance fitness and one-more-glass-of-water), a book-in-progress that I've had my mind on doing for a while, and a refreshed approach to money inspired by an upcoming financial wellness conversation.We’re also bringing connection into the room—literally. Expect local gatherings in Salt Lake City: low-key ladies’ nights, craft meetups, vision-board sessions, and an embroidery night for beginners and curious hands. If you love podcast swaps, have a guest idea, or know a talented video editor for a “Figuring It Out” series, this is your nudge to reach out. The goal is simple: spaces where women feel seen, can exhale, and can build together without rushing toward reinvention.If this resonates, follow along, share with a friend who needs a softer start to the year, and leave a review to help more midlife women find this space. Your voice shapes where we go next—what gathering would you show up for first?Send a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

What if the “missing piece” of your story isn’t a flaw to fix but a new lens that finally makes everything make sense? Katie sits down with coach and community builder Natalie Sharp, who’s preparing for her own ADHD assessment at 40, to unpack why so many women are getting diagnosed later in life and how that knowledge reframes everything from school memories to motherhood.We talk about the realities of assessment access—like the UK’s right to choose pathway and long waitlists—and the quiet ways inattentive ADHD shows up in girls who are praised for being “good” while struggling to focus, initiate, and finish without a deadline. Natalie explains how perimenopause can unmask symptoms, why rejection-sensitive dysphoria hits so hard, and how unmasking can feel messy before it feels free. The conversation moves from grief and validation to practical emotional regulation, kinder self-talk, and relationship language that lowers the stakes when tensions spike.Then we go bigger: smashing boxes in education and work that were never designed for nonlinear thinkers. We explore interest-based motivation, hyperfocus, and the value of autonomy, plus the ADHD–autism overlap that can either balance or battle inside one person. Natalie’s support group for neurodivergent women defies stereotypes with its surprising calm—proof that being fully understood is a nervous-system balm. Finally, we turn to intuition. After years of outsourcing decisions to rules and experts, rebuilding self-trust becomes the anchor. Pair the brain’s brilliance with the heart’s whisper and you get alignment—strengths like empathy, creativity, and pattern recognition working on your terms.If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re “too much” or “not enough,” this is your invitation to step out of the box and into a life that fits. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the moment that resonated most—we’d love to hear your story.Connect with Natalie on Instagram Here @intuitive.adhd and links to @step.outofthe.shadowsSend a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

Holiday magic feels different when you’re the one stitching it together. We open the curtain on the unspoken rules that push many of us to overfunction through December and show a livable way to trade performance for presence. From the drawer that won’t open to the calendar that won’t quit, this conversation moves from home organization mindset to holiday expectation triage, with practical steps for choosing what matters, skipping what doesn’t, and releasing guilt when you make things smaller on purpose.We dig into how expectations get installed—family traditions, social media, cultural scripts, and our need to make it special for everyone else—and why midlife is often the first time we question the job description. You’ll hear a simple filter for decisions: non‑negotiables, simplifiable, or skippable. We talk about kid‑centered traditions where your presence isn’t mandatory, the power of naming invisible assumptions before they ruin a moment, and the difference between a meaningful ritual and a habit that just survived. Along the way, we get honest about disappointment, like a beloved Nutcracker outing that didn’t match the picture in our heads, and how speaking needs out loud can rescue the feeling we’re chasing.If you’re craving calm, you’ll find scripts and strategies: set earlier end times, share hosting, buy dessert guilt‑free, protect sleep on the big nights, and let a half‑decorated tree stand as a love letter to real life. We model for our kids what adult holidays can be—warm, flexible, and human. Schedules change, bedrooms shift, traditions evolve, and that’s not failure; that’s growth. You’re not behind; you’re redesigning a season to fit the life you actually live.If this spoke to you, share it with a friend who’s feeling the holiday pressure, then follow the show and leave a quick review. Your notes help more 40‑ish listeners find a calmer path through the season.Send a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

A stranger’s outrage in a parking lot shouldn’t have ruined our afternoon—yet it did. That jolt of unfairness, the shock that steals your words, and the endless replay afterward can trap even the most grounded among us. We pull the moment apart with honesty and humor, tracing what actually happens in the body when confrontation hits out of the blue and why silence might be the smartest choice your nervous system makes.We walk through freeze and fawn responses in plain language, explaining how the thinking brain goes offline and why the perfect clapback arrives hours too late. From there, we explore the deeper layers—midlife confidence colliding with old social scripts, the ache of not correcting the record, and the sticky mix of humiliation and anger that keeps the scene looping. If you’ve ever Googled the rules just to prove you weren’t wrong, you’ll feel seen.Most importantly, we offer a practical five-step framework to stop letting strangers live rent-free in your head: state reality out loud, separate their behavior from your worth, give yourself credit for staying safe, practice closing the loop, and choose peace over being understood. Along the way, you’ll pick up simple nervous system resets, time-boxed rumination, and language you can use in the moment or on the walk back to your car. Share this with a friend who needs a calm, clear plan for the next unexpected confrontation. Subscribe, leave a quick review, and tell us: which step helps you reclaim your peace fastest?Send a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

What if your forties were the start of your bravest chapter? We sit with marketer-turned-digital-nomad Lindsey Tague, who turned a layoff into a passport-powered reboot. She walks us through the messy middle—burnout, letting go of the “perfect job,” and the scary freedom of showing up online to land her first clients. Then she opens the curtain on real nomad life: Wi‑Fi checks, power outages, discipline amid beach days, and the mindset it takes to face constant newness without freezing.The heart of her story is community. Mexico became home base, and Latin dance—salsa and bachata—became her entry point to belonging across cities in Mexico, Colombia, and Peru. We explore how hobbies create quick roots, why temporary connections still matter, and the rituals that keep creativity alive on the move. We also go deep on dating at 42: navigating apps abroad, cultural differences, language barriers, and the shift toward seeking a steady, values-aligned partner. Lindsay shares why she’s experimenting with U.S. cities, how she screens for emotional stability, and what a modern version of “settling down” might look like when travel is part of your DNA.On the business front, Lindsay is pivoting again—this time to build Life by Design, a growing Substack and community for people crafting unconventional paths. Expect honest talk about imposter syndrome, energy management, and designing work that fits the life you want, not the other way around. If you’ve ever felt “behind,” this conversation will hand you a new map and permission to start where you are.Enjoy the episode, then subscribe, share with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave us a review so more people can find the show. Your support helps us keep these real, midlife reinvention stories coming.Want to connect with Lindsey? Here is her SUBSTACK A Life By Design or follow her on InstagramSend a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

Ever crave people and peace at the same time? That tension sits at the heart of today’s conversation as we unpack why adult friendships feel heavier in midlife and how to keep them honest, warm, and sustainable. We start with a candid detour through skincare—being intimidated by routines, navigating sensitive skin, and laughing at unopened products—because it mirrors the bigger theme: wanting to care well without getting overwhelmed.From there, we break down the myth of the “effortless” friendship and explore what actually gets in the way: clashing calendars, caregiving, careers, mental load, and the constant triage that makes planning a single dinner feel like aligning planets. We name the common friendship types we rarely say out loud—the three-days-later texter, the hobby friend, the gentle fade, and the surprise adult friend who becomes a lifeline—and share how labeling these patterns reduces guilt and sets real expectations. We also talk about communication anxiety, tone in texts, and why many of us add LOLs and emojis for reassurance, plus practical ways to lower friction with voice notes, kinder assumptions, and explicit norms.If you’re craving deeper connection while protecting your energy, you’ll get simple, low-lift practices: standing dates you can actually keep, walk-and-talks, five-word check-ins, meme trading as a love language, and honest scripts for slow seasons. The takeaway is clear: different doesn’t mean worse. Friendship at forty is about alignment and quality, not constant contact. When we show up in ways we can sustain, even small moments feel like a reset.If any of this made you think “same,” tap follow, leave a quick rating or review, and share this episode with a friend who could use a gentle nudge toward connection. Your support helps more listeners find a community that feels like exhale.Send a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

A black dress, a front-row seat in Milan, and a decade-long lesson in how to turn scrutiny into fuel—this conversation dives into Victoria Beckham’s first documentary episode and why her story hits so hard for anyone 40-ish and ready to rewrite the script. We trace her path from the awkward kid who found belonging on a stage to the woman who learned that silence could be armor and craft could be liberation, shedding the WAG label and building a name that stands in ateliers, not tabloids.We revisit the Spice Girls era not as nostalgia, but as a study in identity design: how “Posh” became a protective persona and an early sketch of a designer’s eye. Then we follow the Milan lightning-bolt moment, when fashion shifted from costume to calling. Along the way, we unpack the press machine that framed her as cold and joyless, and the choice to meet that narrative with precision instead of noise. The episode highlights the grind behind the glamour—mentorship from Roland Mouret, perspective from Anna Wintour, Tom Ford, and Donatella Versace, and the patient work of fittings, edits, and castings that transformed skepticism into respect.What emerges is a set of clear takeaways: public perception is often fiction; you get to define your identity at any age; reinvention is a practice, not a pivot; and being soft at home while steel in public isn’t fake, it’s survival. We also talk through the emotional resonance for women navigating midlife—labels that shrink, roles that flatten, and the courage to build a life that fits your form. If you’re searching for your own Milan moment—the spark that tells you where you belong—this is your nudge to follow it and do the work that proves it.Love this breakdown? Subscribe, leave a quick review, and share it with a 40-ish friend who’s ready for her next chapter. What label are you shedding next?Send a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

The house gets quieter, the calendar loosens, and suddenly there’s room to ask bigger questions: Who am I now, and what do I want next? In a warm, honest conversation with book editor and newly published author Jennia D'Lima, we trace the emotional edges of a child leaving for college—those “firsts from afar” that sting and swell with pride at the same time—while finding the courage to write a new chapter of our own.Jennia shares how she moved from shaping other people’s stories to putting her name on the cover, launching her children’s picture book, Sunny and the Round Things. We dig into the real steps behind a midlife creative pivot: setting tiny weekly goals, walking into local bookstores to pitch, and letting momentum build one conversation at a time. Along the way, we talk about modeling ambition for our kids, inviting them into the creative process, and celebrating the unexpected proof that they’re thriving on their own—clean apartments, adventurous cooking, and thoughtful choices.We also get practical about adult friendship. Without school hallways and sidelines, connection can feel scarce, so we unpack low-pressure ways to meet people: apps like Bumble BFF, niche Facebook groups, bookstore events, hikes, and hobbies that create natural conversation. If you’re introverted, bring an extrovert wing-friend, or open with a specific compliment and a small follow-up—memes, links, or local invites that keep the door open. The throughline is flexibility and trust: letting traditions evolve, releasing old expectations, and choosing what truly fits, from daily routines to the proverbial pair of pants.If this resonated, follow 40-ish and Figuring It Out, share it with a friend in her own season of rediscovery, and leave a quick review to help more women find the show. Your next chapter is waiting—let’s write it together.Follow Jennia @jenniaahava and www.jenniaedits.comSend a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

If you grew up thinking 40 would come with matching containers and a neat life plan, you’re in good company. We’re kicking off a fresh season of honest, funny, and deeply human conversations about what it really means to be 40-ish: reinventing without apology, parenting through chaos, and choosing progress over perfection. I share the wake-up that came with turning 40 and the decision to create a space where we get to be beginners again, build confidence in small steps, and decide who we want to be now.Across the episode, we map out the show’s rhythm—three drops a week blending intimate solo updates, interviews with women who’ve rebuilt careers and passions, and a Friday pop culture segment. You’ll hear why the Victoria Beckham documentary is our first breakdown: it’s a smart lens on public identity, private resilience, and the cost of performing for everyone else. We’ll explore identity shifts after 30 and 40, friendships in midlife, parenting teens and toddlers, starting over on purpose, and becoming someone you actually like.The heartbeat here is permission. You don’t need your life figured out by 40, or ever, to live it well. I talk about my own perfectionism—wanting to be great on day one at podcasting or even embroidery—and the choice to swap pressure for play. Expect real life, real story, humor, growth, and a whole lot of grace. If you’re feeling behind, unseen, or simply ready for a reset, you’re in the right place.Hit follow, share this with a friend who’s also navigating the in-between, and tell me: what are you still figuring out? Your voice shapes this community. Leave a review, send a DM on Instagram at 40-ish podcast, and let’s build this season together.Send a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast

✨ Promo Episode: Welcome to 40ish & Figuring It Out ✨In this special kickoff episode, Katie introduces the heart and soul behind 40ish & Figuring It Out — a space for women who are navigating midlife with equal parts chaos, laughter, growth, and “oh my gosh, why did no one tell me this?”From shifting identities and raising teens to rediscovering purpose, passion, and who you are beyond everyone’s expectations, this episode sets the tone for what’s ahead: honest conversations, unfiltered stories, expert insights, and the kind of connection every woman deserves in her 40s.Whether you’re here for the relatable moments, the inspiration, or just to feel less alone in the figuring-it-out season… you’re in the right place.Hit play, take a deep breath, and let’s do this — together.Send a textFollow me on Instagram @40ishpodcast