a little room for healing

Today I'm visited by Allison Breininger, founder of The Negative Space. Allison became a caregiver when her husband was diagnosed with Fanconi Anemia in 2011. She founded the nonprofit, The Negative Space, to change the way caregivers are seen and supported. She cohosts the podcast, In Sickness, provides individual coaching, and facilitates groups and education sessions. On today's episode, she shares both the emotional and physical challenges that come along with being a caregiver. She talks about the tools she learned to regulate her nervous system. And how The Negative Space was created to open a space for other caregivers to feel seen in their own personal challenges, helping them remember that they are part of the story, too. Thanks for joining us. Come on in.

We are fresh off the trail and ready to discuss what happened while we were jeeping. We touch on the importance of having a container. We talk about our two minds - the ego self and the intuitive self (inner sage). And how mindful jeeping added new insights to my journey from victim mentality to owning my power.Come on in

Tommy is the co-author of Take The Wheel: An Offroad Monks' guide to quiet your mind and get back in the driver's seat of life. He also facilitates Zen Jeeping, a mindful practice of offroad jeeping. Today we talk about what Tommy calls the green zone, a place of stillness where the mind and body sync. I open up about my attachment to victimhood and what it means to be in my power. And we look into unhooking the hooks in relationships. Before he takes me out on the trails in the jeeps, I get the download on what zen jeeping is and what it does for your system. Come on in.

I’m pleased to have Shannon O’neill-Loyola joining me today.  Shannon is a seasoned healing practitioner with nearly 20 years of experience across multiple disciplines. A Reiki Master and licensed massage therapist trained in Five Element Chinese Medicine, Shannon also works with breathwork, 13th Octave LaHoChi, and Mexican Rose Healing. As an evidential medium and longtime Akashic Records channeler, they offer grounded, intuitive guidance to clients around the world. In this episode we learn about evidential mediumship, what it means to live with chronic illness, and how chronic illness informs Shannon’s spiritual curiosity and awareness. We stress the importance of every individual finding what is truly right for them when going about healing. We talk a little neuroscience regarding mediumship, and finally, we get a deeper look at the akashic realm and what an akashic session might look like. Thanks for joining. Come on in.

Today I’m joined by Hanna Bernstein LMFT. Hannah is a psychotherapist and healer entranced by the intersection of mysticism and evidence based practices. She has done extensive work in trauma therapy and crisis intervention, with a special focus on consent ruptures. She is presently working with former guest of the podcast, Val, on a course in embodied listening. On this episode we spend time working through a block I feel regarding our connection. After I do a distance reiki session on her we find ourselves in a captivating conversation where we blur the lines of science and mysticism. Are the things we experience real or imagined and if they assist our healing does it really matter? Thanks for joining. Come on in.

On this episode I delve into people pleasing. I explore what I believe to be the underlying cause of people pleasing - fear, and how I work with it. I also share a story from last weekend and the realization I received while working with a heart opener in a crowd. Towards the end I take time to honor the opportunities we have every time we encounter discomfort. It is a gift that allows us to grow so we may also be a gift. Thanks for joining me on this journey. Come on in.

Today I explore the experience of finding my voice. This podcast journey has offered me an opportunity to speak my truth but it hasn’t always been easy and this episode is no different. The struggle of finding my voice has been a lifelong battle. I share some ways in which my voice was suppressed as a child and also give you real time updates of how my body feels about sharing these truths presently. Thank you for joining me on this journey. Come on in.

On this episode I open up about the feelings of failure I’ve been sitting with. I give myself a reiki session. And then I do a deep dive with loneliness. How it feels in my system, the unhelpful ways I used to attempt to fill the hole and how I relate to it in the present. By the end something moves in me and I realize how my new relationship with loneliness offers me a new perspective on my feelings of failure. It is quite beautiful. Thanks for joining me on this journey. Come on in.

On today’s episode I delve into my pattern of fantasy relationships. I share in detail what they are and how they affected me. I describe the mechanism I discovered when I chose to explore the cause of these relationships which ultimately led me to the truth of why I do it. Then I talk about the path to healing them and my determination to face my fear of rejection and healthy romantic relationships. Thanks for joining me on this beautiful journey. 

Today I step out of my comfort zone and do my first solo episode. Join me as I find my voice while I share about the road to finding my truth. There is a beautiful turning point halfway through where the ramblings about my healing journey shift to a more grounded share about where I am. I touch on my struggle with worthlessness, indoctrination, letting go of my grip on trauma, my affair with acting, and close with the power in knowing I matter. The episode is beautifully serenaded by rainy traffic out the front window of my friends’ apartment where I was staying when the inspiration to record hit me. Thanks for going on the journey with me. Come on in.

I welcome back Robin Kidder one more time. Robin is a medicine guide serving as a divine mirror and pattern worker awakening people to the truth of their power. She has a gift of seeing you and your power and the stories/systems/patterns that are blocking you from realizing your power. She’s passionate, resilient and determined. If you are in a place in your life where you’re ready to really get in there and do the work to clear those pathways and connect with yourself I encourage you to reach out to her and invite her into your journey. Find her on instagram @practicalmystical. On this episode we talk about human design and my newly learned integration of being a manifestor type. We dip into anger again, a recurring theme for me. We also share thoughts on what it means to be made in the likeness of god, the dance of being human, and how letting go of things brings learning. Come on in.

Robin Kidder returns. Robin is a medicine guide serving as a divine mirror and pattern worker awakening people to the truth of their power. This is the second episode of our journey with Father. Today we begin integrating our experience. It's the day after and emotions are still high as we talk about what we felt and moved for the first time. I’m excited to share this powerful moment in my healing journey. What happened was unexpected and beautiful. After we recount the events of the day, we delve into a conversation about the collective regarding religion and how it is used to keep us small. Come on in.

Robin Kidder returns to the podcast. Robin is a medicine guide serving as a divine mirror and pattern worker awakening people to the truth of their power. Today we set off on a special 2 part journey together. In this episode we prepare for a medicine journey with a plant commonly referred to as Father. We share where we are leading up to this work as well as what being a healer means to us. We discuss the divine masculine, our relationship to it and the healing that can happen by holding and owning your sexual energy. At the end we set intentions for our journey. Come on in.

Today we take on death. My guest is Iván Chocrón, a plant medicine facilitator, public speaker, and educator. Iván and I talk about fear of death and how it influences our beliefs, and how death like experiences on psychedelics changed his views on death and spirituality. We wonder if fear of death is actually a result of a fear of life. He also gives us a closer look at what a shaman is and we discuss the possibility of holding everything as true. Iván has ten years of plant medicine facilitation, and always had a strong pull toward bridging the worlds of healing and spirituality with science and psychology. Lately, he has been stepping away from holding retreats and more focused on educating people around the importance of doing healing work, with or without plants. He has started a YouTube channel and has been featured in many podcasts and conferences. You can find him here: https://www.ivanchocron.com https://www.youtube.com/@IvanChocron/ https://instagram.com/IvanChocron

My guest today is Emily L Collins. Emily is a spiritual technologist. Reviving ancient spiritual technology for transformation and creativity. She is working on her first film, Spaceborn, and founded a community called Union Tribe Church. Together we talk about her desire to have a child and how she is preparing for that journey when it comes. Including healing her mother wound, and working through fear. She shares how wanting a child has accelerated her healing process. And we delve into how she would like to create an encouraging, and supportive environment for her future children to find their own path. Come on in.

Today I’m sitting with Val Bentson. Val is a sound facilitator, folk singer-songwriter, and a mindfulness-based somatic practitioner. We discuss our body’s intelligence and how we get in the way of it. We talk about opening ourselves to expressing sounds to move pockets of emotions. We explore shame, the importance of voicing it, our relationship to it, releasing it and when it is good for us. We also share an experience we had together in a healing session. Come on in.

Sherry is a lifelong spiritual seeker and deep diver who previously worked in tech and is now on a sabbatical that includes explorations into her deepest longings and impulses, healing trauma through somatics, and learning and practicing the wisdom of Eastern spiritual traditions. On this episode we journey through the challenges of taking up space and allowing the spotlight to be on her. We talk about her recent experiences with kanna and iboga and she tells me about her favorite tantric practices. Come on in.

James Lavrakas joins me on today’s episdode. James is a psychedelic integration coach helping introverts and highly sensitive people move forward, heal, and make lasting change. You can find him on instagram @the_psychedelic_introvert. Together we talk about integrating psychedelic experiences, asking for help in ceremony, the importance of community in medicine spaces, and how some lessons need to be learned over and over again. I also share a story about one of my most impactful psychedelic journeys. Come on in.

Today I’m spending time with Ash Witham. Ash is a coach, creator, and facilitator. She is a course leader at Authentic Relating Training (ART) International, a certified coach through the Relateful Co, and is now training in Somatic Coaching through the Strozzi Institute. She is the co-founder of Shadow Academy and ARCI Retreat. And committed to creating offerings that cultivate emobodied expression for authentic connection and holistic intimacy. Together we discuss healing in connection, authentic relating, shadow work, and losing yourself in relation to others. We also take a little peak into my shadow. As usual we start with check ins so we can be more attuned with each other. Come on in.

Gillian is a harpist, singer/songwriter, writer, and screenwriter. She is also a facilitator of a relational meditation practice called relateful flow or circling, a space holder, and coach. On this episode we attempt to ground amidst the chaos and triggers, we talk about finding community, body dysmorphia, loving all parts of us and healing artist wounds. We also have a drop by visit from Gillian’s dog, Lia. Come on in. Listen to Gillian's music here: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3LJiJ5hQXVLsvC6a9oX96m?si=uazJQC1WSPCb8kNQ551jqQ

Today I’m spending time with Nicole Derseweh. Nicole is a plant medicine practitioner, author and healer. On this episode she tells me about her initiation into energy healing, the ways in which religious trauma affected her and how she found her way back to spirituality after leaving the church. She talks abut her bout with severe depression and what pulled her out of it. We also talk about receiving the call and showing up for it. Come on in. 

Ezra Goh returns for a second exploration on the podcast. Ezra is a somatic movement coach. He uses movement as a language to create spaces and containers for people to have conversations with their bodies, especially when there’s fear in the body or fear of the body. On this episode we delve into the world of meaning and how one can get lost in a maze while seeking it. We look at who is making the maze and why. We also talk about the connection between the mind and body when it comes to communication. Join us on the journey through Ezra’s maze.

Today I’m spending time with Lisa Gaub. Lisa has been practicing as a licensed clinical therapist for 20 years. She also owns and operates Sugar and Fire Baking Company creating super delicious vegan cookies. Highly recommended. On this episode we talk about her current clinical work as the supervisor of the transitional foster care program in Philadelphia, the challenges she’s been having navigating some tricky waters, and she experiences energy healing for the first time. As we’re about to wrap up, she turns the tables on me and I answer questions that help guide me to another level of compassion for my parents. Come on in.

My guest is Brenna Carswell. She’s the executive director of Collective Prana, a nonprofit focused on bridging the gap of mental wellness so people can have access to changing unproductive thought and behavior patterns. Together we discuss corrective experiences, meditation, hypnotic states, and finding compassion for our parents. We share some of our formative experiences and how the path to healing them has been laid with certain stepping stones to get us where we are and where we are going. I also experience an energetic shift in my own journey. Come on in. 

Delia shares her experience of becoming a mother. She talks about the ways it has changed her, as well as the challenges and opportunities the process has afforded her to learn and grow. We move from conception, through the pregnancy, and into the emotions of birth. She also gives me a little insight into the super powers a mother's body receives to be able to take this incredibly important job.

In the ever-changing world of feelings and emotions, expansion and contraction, pleasure and pain, comings and goings, what are you attached to - the loss or the gain? We talk about that as well as embodying ideas and thoughts, allowing what wants to come to come, and letting the discomfort happen. I wasn't feeling up to giving an energy healing, so John offered to give me a reiki session. Check out this impromptu episode.

Schuyler is a writer/poet, trauma healer, and tantric teacher among other things. In this episode she shares an intimate view of the menopausal transition. She highlights the discomfort, challenges, and the grief that comes with it, as well as the beauty, wisdom and celebration of the process. She offers a mystical perspective on the journey and shares ways in which perimenopause has affected her relationship with her partner. What a joy to be a witness to her experience. So much to learn, so much to honor.

Schuyler returns to hold space for me. As I experience joy we work to ground me into the sensation. We find that my capacity to hold the joyful energy is not quite expansive enough. So we begin to exercise that part of me. We delve deep into the tantric world where the full emotional range can be experienced. I touch on fear as I sink deeper into my root. We titrate the joy into my lower chakras. Happiness takes work, too.

The tables are turned on this episode. Robin Kidder returns to hold space for me. I dig into my attachment to a deep trauma I experienced in my life. The goal is to release my grip on identifying as the trauma. The part of me that is holding on definitely puts up a fight. Robin stays steady while I deflect, block, fog up the path and fight for my victimhood. After a journey, something moves. Thank you, Robin. (Video version recommended)

Robin and I enjoy a potent conversation about embodiment, dissociation (both conscious and unconscious), and the responsibility that comes with being a medicine guide. After her session she grapples with the challenges of receiving.

I sit with Craniosacral Therapist, Jennifer Sokolov, who enlightens me on the ins and outs of her work. She talks about what it is, the ways it helps with PTSD, and why it’s so good for babies to receive. After her session we explore ways in which we could expand our practices to help our clients go deeper. Jennifer works in NYC and Athens, NY. You can find her online at tenthhousehealth.com

Ezra and I get a little lost in the awareness of being watched as we delve into the way in which being self conscious affects him in his day to day experience. We explore the concept of original sin through the lens of trauma, and the roles of the angel and the devil on our shoulders. We share some laughs as we swim in the soup of it all before we rediscover the wisdom of starting where you are. 

SENSITIVE CONTENT WARNING: This episode mentions child abuse. Mari Mallari opens up about her abusive childhood. She shares a realization she had after her father died, talks about reparenting her inner child, and also connects with her ancestors. We discuss how her healing journey shows up in communicating with her partner. And we begin the process of thawing the frozen lake of emotions she's been holding.

SENSITIVE CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains mentions of drug overdose, child abuse and child sexual abuse. Donna Amber bravely shares her story with us in a little room for healing's first video episode. Her emotional and heartfelt share touches on the difficulties in growing up without parents or a place to call home, and her difficulties with feeling safe. As she deepens her relationship to healing, Donna has found that sharing her story not only offers her more insight and perspective on her own journey, but also that it touches lives. As she strengthens her connection and love for her inner child she hopes that her story will inspire more people to seek out that connection and healing for themselves.

John Tittmann, an integration coach and facilitator, walks me through the phases of his healing journey as he transitions into being a healer. We delve into the idea of eternal consequences and celebrate where we both are on our paths. We discuss ways in which plant medicines aid in healing.

Brandon Finegold and I explore the differences between intense healing experiences and tuning into the more subtle realm of healing. We navigate the tricky nuances of knowing when the story is important to healing and when the body just needs to feel its way through. Together we enjoy the shift that takes place following our healing session.

SENSITIVE CONTENT WARNING: Drug addiction and overdose. Jim Kilkenny talks about the journey his heart has taken through the halls of hospitals and alternative healing modalities. He shares how he lost his son and the impact it had on him. After his session we soften into introspection about life and the idea loneliness.

I sit with Lily Atlas, a spiritual channel and transformational guide. We talk about the building blocks of healing, our innate worthiness, and how all of us have the ability to tap into the 'knowing'. We are beautifully reminded of the healing power of connection during our 13th octave lahochi session. I also encounter my first technical difficulty (you’ll hear where it occurrs for a brief 7 minutes).

I sit with Rebecca Grossman, a facilitator, healer and friend. Together we work through our nerves as we embark on the very beginning of a little room for healing’s podcast journey. We talk about past experiences with energy healing and how it popped up in our lives. I give Becca a 13th Octave LaHoChi session after which we discuss what came up for her. It’s my first time hosting a podcast and Becca’s first time being on one. It was quite a healing experience for both of us.