Baat Kardi

This episode was really difficult to produce. I'm not sure why that is as yet, whether it be the fact that it's two days after my late best friend's birthday, or even just because I feel like I'm stretching myself a little thin. I couldn't tell you what it is. Maybe I'm burning out. But whatever it is, I thought we could sit down and talk about it, so let's chat.

For the longest time I've struggled with finding an identity for myself. I've struggled to figure out where I fit in, where was my place among society because I just didn't know. My hair for the longest time has felt like the closest idea to having a defining trait, over the years it became a running joke among friends on how it had a mind of its own. In time, my hair became a big part of my personality, which in turn I suppose caused me to be unable to see myself apart from it. I still struggle to place myself among people, I'm not sure if it was because of how I grew up or the bullying but let's talk about it.

Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim brothers and sisters celebrating across the globe. I hope this Eid and all future ones are kind to you and your loved ones. Eid is a time for community and being able to be with those you care for. I'm sure there are many like me who are spending this Eid far from who we usually spend it with, this was me trying to do my part in assuring you that we are not alone. Yes the traditions may not be the same and need to change things up, but, why not? Why can't we do something a little bit differently this time around? Let's talk about it.

I struggle a lot with my inherently laziness. It leaves me unable to get most things done unless I can somehow find the strength within to get my sh*t together. I think of it as a sickness really, this feeling within that just leaves me paralysed and feeling as horrid as humanly possible. I feel the lethargy welling up inside and I hate it. I don't know if anyone else suffers from this but, let's talk about it.

Growing up, Urdu and I never had the best relationship. I struggled to put my feelings into words that never quite seemed to flow off my tongue the way it did for my mother. I found myself distraught and dejected from a language that was meant to be home. I found myself relying more and more on English as a crutch to communicate with the world around me.Before long, my English was all I knew. I was lauded for my prowess over the language, so much so that it became part of my identity and my only identity within time. Over the past two years I have been trying to forge a new version of myself through trial and error. The words of Faiz Ahmed and the voice of Zia Mohyeddin, I am trying to find myself anew.

So many of us struggle through life unable to function due to grief simply overwhelming us and taking over. Grief can be a deadly poison, but I also see it as a beautiful way to remember and cherish what we have lost. I'm no stranger to grief or loss, I have lost more than I care to have ever done in one lifetime but unfortunately we don't get to decide how much or how little time we get.This episode hits a little close to home because it was recently the death anniversary of my maternal grandmother's sister, and very soon it will be my paternal grandmother's death anniversary as well. This time of year can be rough but I realised that so many others must be feeling the same and many that I know are feeling it, so I thought to share in the grief. So let's talk about grief and all things encompassing.

Ramadan Kareem to all those observing the holy month, I wish all Muslims across the globe well during this time. Many of us will be practising away from family and friends, and while this is by no means a new conversation I do think it requires continued repetition as a reminder that whatever you're going through and feeling, you're not alone. Ramadan is a time for community and coming together to celebrate the joys of life among the countless blessings you've been given.One of the wonders of adult life is that you're no longer limited with the family you were born with, you have the ability to go out and find a family of your choosing. I've been blessed to have been able to create such a family and I hope that wherever you are in the world, you have the ability to find people that feel like home away from home. So lets talk about how life away from home and everything that encompasses being away.

Yesterday I had a guest speaker attending my lecturer at University, Fiona Meldrum from the Citizen's UK. Part of her topic for the day was around the idea of personhood and the legacy we leave behind. It was a very interesting conversation, partly I suppose because I've spent quite a while delving into the very same myself. It does require some consideration though, what does it mean to leave a legacy? What would be our legacy once we pass on? And honestly, all that I'm doing and all that I'm trying to do with my art will it amount to what I hope it will? I don't know. But, lets talk about that.

I think we're slowly entering an age of nonchalance, where people feel like it's cool to pretend that they don't care and that they're so detached from life that nothing phases them. But Lord, that is so lame, why do you not care about anything? Why is there nothing that makes you ponder and emote? I hate this direction that we are headed and am vehemently opposed to it, funnily enough, I actively go against this trend. My whole thing is telling stories, talking to people and learning what they have to say. There's so much in this world that we're missing out on by pretending like we don't care, it feels like you're doing yourself a disservice so join me as we talk about just this.

So often many of us will struggle with the argument that we're wasting time or losing time by not constantly acting every single waking moment. Constantly perpetuating a toxic cycle of grinding without ever taking a moment to actually realise just how damning this can become if not acknowledged in time. Simultaneously, in our hast to accomplish everything under the sun, we begin comparing our victories, our triumphs against those of others. Comparison is the thief of joy but is it not on us to ensure we don't let the lives of others overtake our own? Join me as we talk about just that.

Motivation seems like a fight we all seem to struggle with from time to time, sometimes easy and sometimes hard. But I think it's important to realise that while motivation comes and goes, there are ways to maximise the yield from each wave. I don't know what you're going through or how you plan to combat your trials but maybe we can figuring it out together.

Hey there, if you're tuning into this episode I hope it's not because you've been struggling the same way I have. But if you are, let's get through this together, yeah? It's never easy going through things on your own, especially when you're having a bad day or let's be honest, a string of bad days. Life seems like it's throwing one curve bad after another, and I get how hard it can be to form a routine when that's all you're going through. Consistency can be a pain on the best of days to build up, but it's a whole other monster on the days you just can't find the strength to bother. So lets talk about that.

Happy New Year, I know with the start of the year so many of us suffer from the pressure of getting our lives together, starting good habits and overall being better versions of ourselves. I understand the pressure that comes with that, I can also understand how demotivating it can be to stick to a strict routine. With all the pressure of New Years Resolutions and building a better life, it can be a lot, so take it from someone who has been in your shoes more times than he can count. It's alright to take things slow, but it's just as important to not become complacent and fall off the wagon completely, so let's talk about it.

Life can often be more difficult than we can anticipate it to be, it can challenge us in ways we are unprepared for. Many of us are caught unawares and thrown for a whirl, my life has been no different and taking the decision to come for my Masters has felt like one of the biggest whirlwinds I've ever been thrown in. Join me to talk about the ins and outs of Masters life and what my particular journey has been like.

A little bit messy, a little bit raw and a whole lot of passion. It's not much, but it's what I've got and I'm willing to give this a shot. Here's to the first episode of Baat Kardi!