Choose Recovery For Couples

Most men in recovery aren’t failing because they aren’t trying hard enough. They’re failing because they’re aiming at the wrong target.In this episode, Luke sits down with Matt Wenger, MA, LPC, CCPS, CSAT and Executive Clinical Director at Begin Again Institute, to break down one of the biggest misunderstandings in sex addiction recovery: the difference between staying busy and actually healing.They discuss:What intensive treatment really doesInpatient vs outpatient recoveryWhy resentment quietly grows in early recoveryWhy betrayed partners still don’t feel safeHow men move from sobriety into true recoveryIf recovery feels like a hamster wheel, this conversation may explain why.Chapters01:21 Introducing Matt Wenger04:43 Why Hard Work Stalls09:11 What Intensives Actually Do12:24 Two Weeks vs Longer Rehab17:02 Partner Expectations After Intensive21:54 Gym Metaphor for Recovery27:02 Choosing Quality TreatmentWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERENEW at Choose Recovery Services!Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

You don’t need more information—you need a new response.In this episode, Luke Gordon breaks down one of the most critical (and overlooked) skills in recovery: emotional maturity under pressure.You’ll learn:Why your body reacts before your mind can catch upThe real definition of emotional maturity (it’s not what you think)How to create “the pause” that prevents damage in relationshipsWhat responsibility actually looks like in real-time conflictIf you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, defensive, or out of control during hard conversations—this episode gives you a practical path forward.Chapters02:46 What Emotional Maturity Is04:02 Reactivity to Responsibility07:08 The Power of the Pause09:40 Communicate the Pause11:54 Return and Repair14:26 Practice and Next StepsWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERENEW at Choose Recovery Services!Wired for Pain - Join us April 26th for a FREE webinar for couples. Discover how your brain and body may be “wired” by past pain—and why that wiring keeps you stuck in patterns you can’t seem to break. This free webinar reveals the hidden connection between trauma, behavior, and healing, giving you practical tools to finally move from survival mode into lasting change.Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Why do so many men understand recovery…but still don’t feel better?In this episode of Beyond the Facade, Luke Gordon sits down with breathwork practitioner Steven Roccazzella to explore the missing piece in healing: your body.You’ll learn:Why talk therapy alone isn’t enoughHow breathwork regulates your nervous systemThe surprising role of cold exposure in healingWhat it actually means to feel “safe in your body”Ready to go deeper? Learn more about Reclaimed - our men’s somatic intensive coming up in August, and register now to secure your spot! Chapters02:56 Steven’s Backstory06:12 What Is Breathwork?08:26 Cold Exposure Therapy15:16 Wim Hof Method21:55 Breathwork Basics26:37 Stress Responses Explained30:44 Somatic Trust32:56 What Healing Looks LikeConnect with StevenWebsiteInstagram @steven_roccazzellaEmail [email protected] the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***LAST CHANCE! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. Also explore attending our Help Her Heal men’s support group. A new group starts in April!🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Healing after betrayal is one of the hardest journeys a couple can face — especially when both partners want the relationship to work but feel stuck in the same painful patterns.This week Luke and Alana dive into one of the biggest challenges in betrayal recovery: Why progress in personal recovery doesn’t always translate into relational healing.You’ll learn:Why many men struggle to show empathy after betrayalThe difference between individual recovery and relational repairWhat betrayed partners truly need to feel safe againHow emotional regulation impacts healingWhy healing after betrayal is often “Olympic-level emotional work”If you’re trying to rebuild trust, understand your partner’s pain, or move forward after betrayal, this conversation will help you see the process more clearly — and remind you that healing is possible.Don’t Miss Out!If you connected with this conversation, we invite you to learn more about our Help Her Heal men’s intensive and support groups. Reach out to find out which option may be right for you! (702) 277-9145 | [email protected] the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. Also explore attending our Help Her Heal men’s support group. A new group starts in April!🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Most people think conflict damages relationships, but avoiding conflict may be doing more harm than the conflict itself.In this episode, Luke Gordon explains why healthy conflict is a critical part of recovery, connection, and emotional maturity—especially after betrayal.You’ll learn:Why conflict triggers the fight-flight-freeze responseHow childhood patterns shape how we handle disagreementsWhy your partner’s triggers may actually be an attempt to connectHow boundaries help regulate difficult conversationsConflict doesn't have to destroy relationships. When handled intentionally, it can become the very thing that builds deeper trust and intimacy.Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups. Chapters03:17 Conflict Avoidance05:48 Triggers As Connection07:18 Defining Conflict10:31 Nervous System Cycle15:54 Healthy Conflict Skills19:07 Rupture and RepairWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Apologies don’t automatically heal betrayal.In fact, many people in recovery unknowingly continue hurting their partner through subtle defensive reactions, shutdown patterns, and attempts to control the healing process.In this episode, Luke explores betrayal violence — a concept from Hope Ray that explains how relational harm can continue long after the original betrayal.You’ll learn:Why saying “I’m sorry” often isn’t enoughThe destructive communication patterns that deepen betrayal traumaThe ABC pattern behind reactive behaviorWhy shame and defensiveness sabotage repairHow awareness and accountability help rebuild safetyGo deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups. Chapters01:04 When Sorry Isn’t Enough02:31 Betrayal Violence04:55 Why These Patterns Form07:19 Common Harmful Responses10:53 The ABC Pattern12:01 The Floating Saint13:55 Accountability Without ShameWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Do you trust yourself?In this episode, Luke dives into the erosion of self-trust that happens through years of secrecy, compulsive behavior, and shame—and how to rebuild it.We unpack:What self-trust actually means (hint: it’s not confidence)The difference between shame and guilt in recoveryWhy external validation won’t rebuild inner worthHow consistency—not perfection—restores alignmentWhy betrayed partners can sense when self-trust is missingIf you’ve ever promised yourself “This time will be different”… this episode is for you.Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups. Chapters:02:32 Defining Self-Trust Alignment05:26 Shame Guilt and Fragmentation06:10 Validation vs Inner Worth08:20 Honesty Builds Integration09:12 Betrayed Partners and Safety11:15 How Self Trust Grows12:15 Phase Two Curriculum PathWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. ✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Resentment doesn’t always look like anger. Sometimes it hides behind effort, silence, or “doing everything right.”This week Luke joins Alana Gordon on her podcast, Choose To Be, to explore how powerlessness and entitlement quietly fuel resentment, especially in recovery after betrayal or compulsive sexual behavior.Together they unpack:Why resentment often goes unnoticed until it causes damageHow silent scorekeeping creates emotional distanceThe link between resentment, entitlement, and relapse riskWhy awareness alone isn’t enough–and what actually leads to healingChapters04:05 Personal Experiences with Resentment07:22 Silent Scorekeeping09:45 Entitlement and Passive Aggressiveness12:00 Processing Resentment and Finding Power16:35 Practical Steps to Address Resentment23:49 T-ball AnalogyWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. ✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Why does recovery still feel out of control—even when you know what to do?This week Luke and Alana Gordon break down somatic work and why healing the nervous system is the missing layer in addiction recovery, betrayal repair, and emotional regulation.Many people can explain recovery concepts perfectly—yet still react automatically under stress. That’s because insight alone can’t override a dysregulated nervous system. Listen to learn:What somatic work actually is (and what it’s not)Why your body reacts before your brain can catch upHow trauma and addiction live in the nervous systemWhy embodiment allows recovery tools to work under stressHow nervous system regulation creates felt safety in relationshipsGo deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups. Chapters00:24 Understanding Somatic Work03:41 The Importance of Embodied Healing06:18 The Role of the Nervous System in Recovery08:58 Challenges and Benefits of Somatic Work13:04 What Somatic Work is Not15:43 Relational Impact of Somatic WorkWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. ✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Stopping the behavior isn’t the same as healing.This week Luke breaks down why addiction is not a willpower problem—but a self-perpetuating system. Drawing from Patrick Carnes’ addictive system framework, this episode explains why sincere motivation often isn’t enough, why relapse happens even when behavior stops, and what true recovery actually requires.You’ll learn:Why addiction operates as a closed-loop systemHow shame and secrecy fuel relapseThe hidden role of core beliefs and impaired thinkingWhy partners often feel unsafe even after behavior stopsWhat it means to interrupt addiction upstreamThis episode is essential for anyone stuck in the cycle—or who loves someone who is.Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups. Chapters01:11 Understanding Addiction as a System04:14 The Role of Core Beliefs in Addiction05:29 Impaired Thinking and Its Impact07:12 The Addictive Cycle Explained10:07 The Importance of Addressing Secrecy11:24 Partner's Perspective and System-Level WorkWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women.✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for our intensives. Connect With Us:Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Why do we keep choosing relationships that feel familiar—even when they hurt?This week, Luke and Alana dive into how attachment shapes relationships, addiction, and intimacy at the nervous system level. Attachment isn’t about willpower or insight—it’s about survival patterns learned long before we had words.You’ll learn:How attachment patterns form in early childhoodWhy anxious, avoidant, and fearful attachment styles repeat in adulthoodHow attachment wounds drive compulsive behaviors and addictionWhy real healing requires nervous system regulation—not just insightWhat it actually takes to move toward secure attachmentChapters00:29 Understanding Attachment Theory02:18 Attachment in Early Relationships05:01 Attachment Styles and Their Impact12:19 Healing and Changing Attachment Styles15:02 Attachment Patterns in Adult Relationships21:51 Nervous System and AttachmentExplore this topic (and so many more!) in our Beyond the Facade men's groups. Register online or contact our office to learn more: [email protected] | 702.277.9145Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Sobriety doesn’t automatically create emotional safety—and partners know it.This week Luke and Alana introduce parts work as a core Phase Two recovery framework. If you’ve ever felt emotionally hijacked, confused by your reactions, or ashamed that recovery still feels chaotic, this conversation names what’s actually happening beneath the surface.You’ll learn:Why emotional contradictions aren’t a character flawHow protector parts drive addiction and defensivenessThe difference between sobriety and self-leadershipWhy accountability increases—not decreases—with parts workThis episode is essential for individuals and couples navigating betrayal trauma, emotional whiplash, and the deeper work of relational healing.Chapters00:45 Introduction to Phase Two and Parts Work02:58 Emotional Hijacking06:31 The Role of Protector Parts15:29 Self-Leadership and Emotional Maturity21:42 Relational Impact and Partner’s RoleWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.  Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Many men believe that once the behavior stops, recovery should feel resolved. But what happens when sobriety doesn’t lead to closeness, safety, or repair?In this episode Luke introduces Phase Two recovery and explains why emotional maturity isn’t about calm behavior or compliance — it’s about capacity.You’ll learn:Why sobriety removes behavior but not the internal system behind itHow emotional underdevelopment shows up after acting out stopsWhat emotional, relational, and nervous system capacity actually meanWhy effort alone doesn’t register as safety for betrayed partnersChapters03:34 Understanding Emotional Maturity06:38 Defining Emotional Capacity09:31 Sobriety and Emotional Development13:46 Invitation to Phase Two WorkWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/rise-renew-restore-retreat/✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/courage-to-thrive-betrayal-trauma-intensive/ ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/help-her-heal-intensive/💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensive-scholarship/Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

What happens when you’ve done everything right in recovery — and something still feels unresolved?In this deeply honest episode, Luke shares why he’s stepping away from Choose Recovery Services for a season — not because of relapse, but because healing sometimes requires going deeper than insight, willpower, or knowledge.Joined by Alana Gordon, this conversation explores:Why recovery isn’t linearThe fear of “what if it doesn’t work?”Somatic healing and trauma stored in the bodyDifferentiation between partners in long-term recoveryWhy stepping back can actually be an act of leadershipIf you’re a betrayed partner wondering if real healing is possible — or someone in recovery who feels stuck despite “doing the work” — this episode offers honesty, hope, and permission to keep going.Chapters00:26 Announcement From Luke03:19 Luke’s Decision to Step Away04:59 Alana’s Perspective on Healing07:22 The Importance of Somatic Healing10:01 Challenges and Realizations in Recovery23:02 Trust and Autonomy in Relationships33:18 Future PlansWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Most people don’t stay stuck because they don’t want to change — they stay stuck because familiar pain feels safer than uncertain freedom.In this episode, Luke explores why the nervous system chooses predictability over healing, especially for men in recovery from compulsive sexual behavior. Even when sobriety is solid and effort is high, trust often remains stalled — not because of lack of care, but because initiative requires risk.You’ll learn:Why trust doesn’t grow through crisis or big gesturesWhat “micro risks” are — and why they actually retrain the brainHow honesty builds safety when it’s voluntary, early, and consistentThe neuroscience behind effort, avoidance, and integrityThis episode is essential for anyone navigating betrayal trauma, relational repair, or long-term recovery.Chapters01:41 Challenges in Building Trust02:50 Defining Micro Risks04:02 Examples of Micro Risks06:08 Micro Risks vs. Big Gestures07:25 The Role of the Nervous System11:34 Micro Risks in Relationships14:26 The Anterior Cingulate CortexWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!Season of Support - Join us for our LAST WEEK of a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

What does real healing look like after betrayal?This week Chance and Crystal join Luke for an honest conversation about boundaries, nervous system healing, resentment, parts work, and rebuilding safety after years of secrecy.Learn how Phase One stabilizes the relationship and how Phase Two transforms grief into connection.Perfect for individuals and couples seeking guidance, clarity, and hope.Chapters01:24 Meet Chance and Crystal02:07 Chance and Crystal’s Personal Story07:01 The Importance of Self-Care and Boundaries21:12 Navigating Resentment24:05 Establishing Boundaries and Creating Safety27:21 Safety and Stability28:18 Grieving Together31:56 Navigating Shared Grief and Vulnerability38:18 The Importance of Individual HealingWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE.Register Now!Season of Support - Join us for a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Why don’t you and your partner agree on “what really happened”? In early recovery, trauma, shame, and denial collide — creating two completely different versions of reality that both feel true.Luke explains: • Trauma logic & worst-case thinking • Denial fog & fragmented memory • Why accuracy evolves in recovery • How to validate without agreeing • The 3-part integrity check that rebuilds trustTune in for a grounded, compassionate episode for couples healing from betrayal.Chapters01:51 Understanding the Betrayed Partner’s Reality03:16 Exploring the Betraying Partner’s Reality05:30 Navigating Conflicting Realities06:32 Redefining Accuracy in Early Recovery12:33 Integrity Checks and Empathic Validation17:03 Season of Support Webinar Register Now!Season of Support - Join us for a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Jan 27-30, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

How do you recover when the person you love has betrayed you? Author Michelle Mays (LPC, CSAT-S) joins Luke Gordon to explore The Betrayal Bind — the painful paradox of needing the very person who hurt you. Discover how attachment theory, betrayal trauma, and nervous system science explain what happens after infidelity and how both partners can rebuild trust.Topics include:The three wounds of betrayal: emotional, attachment, and sexualWhy “attachment ambivalence” feels like chaosHow betrayed and betraying partners can reconnect safelyConnect with Michelle:Braving Hope Coaching ProgramRelational RecoveryFacebookBook: The Betrayal Bind💡 Brought to you by Choose Recovery Services — guiding individuals and couples through betrayal trauma recovery.Chapters01:18 Introducing Michelle Mays04:48 The Betrayal Bind07:06 Attachment and Betrayal11:30 Navigating Safe Relationships13:30 Wounds From Betrayal18:04 Sexual Injuries and Recovery21:31 Attachment Ambivalence 28:02 Attunement and Responsiveness 32:08 Building Trust Through ConsistencyWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Jan 27-30, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Ever notice how defensiveness shows up even when your intentions are good?In this episode, Luke Gordon reveals why defensiveness is a biological protection strategy — not a moral failure — and how to shift it into connection.You’ll learn:Why your nervous system reacts before you doHow empathy changes the way truth landsThe four-step shift: Pause, Name, Acknowledge, RespondHow to rebuild emotional safety after conflict💡 “Truth lands differently when empathy comes first.”Discover tools for healing and communication at ChooseRecoveryServices.comChapters00:00 – “You’re being defensive!” — why it stings01:50 - Understanding defensiveness03:46 - The answering trap06:14 Recognizing the signals07:42 Tools for shifting from defensiveness to connection10:15 Practice and TakeawaysWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Ready to move beyond “checking the boxes” in recovery? In this powerful conversation, Luke Gordon and Isy Williams, coaches with Choose Recovery Services, explore the turning point when betrayal trauma recovery and sexual addiction recovery shift from something you do to something you live. Through personal stories and hard-won wisdom, they share how emotional healing, integrity, and authentic connection create lasting transformation—and why embracing discomfort is the key to real change.What You'll Learn:The difference between halfway commitment and full immersion in recoveryWhy ownership matters more than compliance or perfectionismHow embracing discomfort leads to authentic transformationLearn more about Isy and book a complimentary session here. Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Ever notice how the harder you try to get everything right, the more isolated and empty you feel? This week Luke unpacks perfectionism not as a personality flaw, but as a survival strategy—a shield we use to avoid shame and rejection. Drawing on Brené Brown's work and his own recovery journey, he explores why we chase an impossible standard and what it costs us in connection, authenticity, and peace.What You'll Learn:Why perfectionism is fear-based, not excellence-drivenHow shame and control fuel the need to be "perfect"Practical questions to shift from performance to presenceWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

What if claiming you’ve shared everything with your partner is actually sabotaging your recovery? In this eye-opening episode, Luke explains why the statement “I’ve told you everything is so damaging. He reveals how recovery works in layers, why humility trumps certainty, and how acknowledging what you don’t know yet actually builds more trust than claiming you know it all.Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠What you’ll learn:Why claiming full awareness breeds stagnation and relapse in recoveryHow denial creates constructed realities that feel safe but aren’t fully trueHow believing you’ve “made it” shuts down growthChapters01:10 The Problem of “I’ve Told You Everything”02:07 Constructed Realities and Denial04:33 Addictive Systems and Belief Structures07:40 The Illusion of Full Awareness13:43 Managing Outcomes vs. Living in Truth15:10 Practical Language for True AwarenessConnect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Are you beating yourself up in the name of accountability and in the process accidentally blocking the very change you’re after? This week Luke challenges the myth that shame leads to transformation, sharing a powerful D-Day story where his self-loathing actually prevented him from hearing his partner’s pain. He breaks down why self-compassion isn’t about escaping accountability; it’s what makes genuine accountability possible.Listen to learn:Why shame blocks empathy and keeps you stuckHow self-compassion and accountability can exist in the same breathWhat self-compassion actually looks like in recovery (and it’s not letting yourself off the hook!)Chapters00:15 Luke’s Personal Story of Shame01:25 Understanding Self-Compassion03:19 Debunking Myths About Self-Compassion08:59 Real-Life Examples of Self-CompassionLAST CHANCE TO REGISTER!Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Apply for scholarships here. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Why is it so hard for a betrayed partner to see the positive changes you’ve made? This week Luke is again joined by Alana Gordon (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose Recovery Services, and president of APSATS) and together they delve into the complexities of betrayal trauma healing.Listen in as Luke gives a powerful analogy of hiking with a mountain lion to explain the brain’s constant search for emotional safety. Tune in to learn: The necessity of consistent positive actionsThe importance of letting go of instant validationHow to truly rebuild trust over timeChapters01:17 Understanding Betrayal Trauma01:55 The Mountain Lion Analogy04:11 Emotional Safety and Trust08:57 Advice for Individuals Seeking RecoveryRegister Now!Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Apply for scholarships here. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Are you struggling to know what real recovery and change looks like? This week Alana Gordon (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose, and president of APSATS) is back to continue the discussion about red flags and green flags when it comes to recovery. Listen in to hear about boundaries, lifestyle shifts, and empathy. Learn to identify toxic patterns, embrace healthy changes, and cultivate deep empathy for yourself and others as you heal.Listen to Part 1 here!Tune in to learn:Why real recovery requires changing your environment and relationships, not just your behaviorHow to rid yourself of the “what about me” mentalityThe difference between performative and genuine empathyChapters01:21 Boundaries and Lifestyle Shifts03:48 Rationalizing Risky Environments11:53 External Promises vs. Internal Guardrails13:19 Commitment to Safety Over Old Patterns16:47 Healthy Rhythms and Self-Care20:45 Boundaries and Values28:37 Empathy and Attunement33:45 Heartfelt EmpathyRegister Now!Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Are you truly in recovery, or are you just performing? This week Luke welcomes Alana Gordon to the podcast (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose, and president of APSATS). Together they explore the difference between surface-level recovery and authentic transformation in this no-holds-barred conversation. They reveal the green flags and red flags that separate real healing from going through the motions—and why the work you resist most might be exactly what you need.Listen to learn:The difference between "being in recovery" vs. "working recovery"Red flags like selective effort and performing only under pressureGreen flag behaviors that show authentic recovery progressChapters01:05 Introducing Alana04:53 Honesty in Recovery15:38 Sobriety and Accountability18:53 Selective Effort24:46 Performing Under Pressure30:53 The Power of Personal PowerRegister Now!Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Do you feel like since the betrayal, your relationship with your partner is like a house you are carefully trying to rebuild and your partner often comes in with a sledgehammer to “test the walls”? This week Luke explores why this might happen and what that means for healing. This episode may completely shift how you view conflict in your relationships.Listen to learn:The House Analogy - why your partner may appear to be trying to destroy what you are buildingYour Conflict Blueprint - how your family of origin shaped your relationship with conflictReframing Conflict - why conflict is the doorway to intimacy, not something to avoidChapters01:35 The House Analogy03:54 The Sledgehammer08:51 Understanding Conflict and Its Impact09:23 Conflict Isn’t the Enemy11:41 Family of OriginRegister Now!Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

When you’re in recovery but nothing seems to be helping your relationship, it can feel like you’re powerless to create real change. This week Luke welcomes Isy Williams (fellow Choose Recovery Services coach) and together they reveal what betrayed partners are actually looking for (and it’s not perfection!).Listen to learn: The difference between consistency and perfectionHow to shift from external motivation to values-based recoveryFour specific signs betrayed partners need to see to rebuild trustChapters01:02 Introducing Isy Wiliams04:49 Deconstructing Lies in Recovery17:14 The Importance of Consistency 22:55 Perfection vs. Consistency25:38 Grace and Patience31:51 Importance of Self-Driven RecoveryRegister Now!Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Do you ever wonder why you keep repeating the same destructive patterns despite wanting to change? This week Luke tackles a huge question in recovery: Do we actually have free will, or is everything predetermined by our past trauma and brain chemistry? This isn't just philosophical debate—it's about understanding what actually needs to be in place for real transformation to happen.What You'll Learn:The difference between free will and determinism, and why most people get stuck in the extremesThe 5 essential requirements that must be present for true choice to even be possibleHow to reframe recovery from "just try harder" to creating the right conditions for sustainable changeChapters01:02 Free Will vs Determinism04:38 Exploring the Extremes and Middle Ground07:26 Requirements for Free Will13:45 Questions to PonderRegister Now!Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

You know the recovery scripts by heart, but when your partner is triggered, it still feels performative and hollow. Sound familiar?In this powerful episode, Luke welcomes Hali Roderick (fellow Choose To Be coach) and Tim, a participant from the recent Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive. Tim shares how somatic work and community vulnerability can crack open the shells we've built around our hearts, moving us from performative recovery to authentic healing.What You'll Learn:Why recovery scripts fall short and how to embody real empathyHow body-based healing breaks through emotional barriersWhy vulnerability in community accelerates healingChapters01:06 Meet Hali and Tim03:58 The Purpose of the Help Her Heal Intensive09:36 Somatic Work: The Key to Healing16:15 The Value of Community20:41 The Nervous System’s Response to Trauma24:20 Being Ready For Change26:39 Family of Origin AnalogyRegister Now!Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Ever wondered why certain behaviors feel impossible to break, even when you desperately want to change? In this eye-opening episode, Luke and guest Laura Fisher dive deep into the hidden world of attachment wounds and how childhood experiences shape our adult relationships and coping mechanisms. You'll discover why recovery isn't a destination but an ongoing journey—like walking up a down escalator that never stops moving.Laura Fisher is a fellow coach at Choose Recovery Services. Learn more about her here and book a session with her here.  Listen to Learn:The importance of understanding your attachment styleHow trauma can create sexual addiction patternsWhy recovery requires consistent, ongoing effortChapters01:09 Welcoming Laura01:44 Understanding Attachment and Its Impact06:44 Attachment Wounds and Their Manifestations 18:52 Rewiring the Nervous System25:31 Somatic HealingRegister Now!Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round .Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Do you find yourself thinking that being tough on yourself is the key to growth? It’s not! This week Luke dismantles seven common myths about self-compassion and reveals how being kinder to yourself can fuel real change, recovery, and connection.Listen to discover:Why self-compassion strengthens accountabilityHow self-compassion is a strength, not a weaknessHow self-compassion in moments of failure can spur growthChapters:02:07 Understanding Self-Compassion03:29 Myth: Self-Compassion Means Avoiding Responsibility 03:59 Myth: Self-Compassion is Selfish06:30 Myth: Self-Compassion Lowers Standards07:13 Myth: You Have to Earn Self-Compassion08:23 Myth: Self-Compassion is Fake Positivity 09:37 Myth: Self-Compassion Only Works for Good People10:27 Myth: Self-Compassion Means Avoiding Hard EmotionsRegister Now!Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

How quickly can someone go from noticing to fantasizing? This week Luke answers a listener’s question about how the brain processes attraction and the resulting sexual response.Get answers to these three questions:How quickly can someone go from noticing to fantasizing?Where does the three-second rule fit into the brain sexual response cycle?Is it okay to acknowledge that someone is attractive?Listen to Episode 46 for background on the neuroscience behind the body’s sexual response. Chapters01:29 Recap of Episode 4603:24 Question 105:12 Question 208:29 Question 3Register Now!Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

How do you make decisions when you’re not sure you can trust your emotions? This week Luke welcomes Sy Bee back to resume their discussion from last week. They continue exploring the differences between emotionally-based and values-based decisions.Tune in to hear:Sy’s personal experiences of triumphs and failuresWhat is meant by “shadow emotions”The dangers of letting your inner child drive your decisionsBook a session with SyChapters01:26 Emotionally Based Decisions04:37 Understanding Values08:17 Identifying Personal Values15:16 Exploring the Root of Behaviors20:34 Shadow Expressions27:16 Integrity and Trust in Recovery32:50 Discovering Core ValuesRegister Now!Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Ever wonder why your brain tells you to quit long before you actually need to? In this powerful episode, Luke and fellow Choose Recovery Services coach Sy Bee discuss how doing hard things can transform your recovery and help you discover your authentic self. You'll learn why physical challenges aren't just about fitness, but about building unshakeable confidence that no one can take away from you.Listen to learn:How physical challenges rewire your brainThe difference between emotion-driven decisions and values-based choices in recoveryHow pushing your physical limits reveals what you’re truly capable of achievingBook a session with SyChapters01:25 Introducing Sy05:16 Personal Stories of Overcoming Challenges07:36 The Role of Exercise in Recovery13:45 Client Success Story17:16 Building a Relationship With Self29:58 Principled vs. Emotional Decisions. Register Now!Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

What’s the difference between noticing and objectifying? This week Luke welcomes guest Stephen Thomas (fellow coach at Choose Recovery Services). Their conversation will challenge your perspective on what healthy sexuality looks like and reveal the hidden costs of reducing people to their physical appearance. Learn:The crucial difference between noticing attractiveness and objectifying someoneHow objectification hurts both strangers and your own partner (even when they're not around)Why becoming a "protector" instead of a "consumer" leads to deeper intimacy and authentic connectionChapters01:03 Meet Stephen Thomas03:27 Defining Objectification16:58 Personal Recovery Journey18:44 Understanding Intimacy Beyond Sex21:59 Objectification in SocietyRegister Now!Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - LAST CHANCE TO REGISTER! This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us July 8th-11th in Spanish Fork, UT. NEW - Couple’s Add-On Experience - invite your partner to join you for an optional fifth day together in a safe, supportive environment to practice what has been learned.Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Are you confused about whether your partner can help you in your healing journey or if you need to do it alone? This powerful episode breaks down the myth that it's an either/or situation.This week Luke shares an episode he did with Alana Gordon on the Choose To Be podcast. Together they dive deep into the three essential ways partners can support healing—emotional availability, accountability, and co-regulation—while exploring why ultimate responsibility for healing must remain with you. Register Now!Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us July 8th-11th in Spanish Fork, UT. NEW - Couple’s Add-On Experience - invite your partner to join you for an optional fifth day together in a safe, supportive environment to practice what has been learned.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Have you followed all the recommended steps in your recovery yet still feel stuck? This week Alana Gordon (LMFT, betrayal trauma coach, and Director at Choose Recovery Services) joins Luke, and together they dive into the importance of somatic healing. Discover how addressing the trauma stored in your body can transform everything about your recovery journey.Chapters01:10 Welcoming Alana Gordon03:11 Luke’s Personal Story07:33 The Importance of Somatic Work15:13 The Role of Other Modalities 19:46 The Three Brains23:26 Call to ActionWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us July 8th-11th in Spanish Fork, UT. NEW - Couple’s Add-On Experience - invite your partner to join you for an optional fifth day together in a safe, supportive environment to practice what has been learned.Revive and Thrive: Betrayal Trauma Intensive for Women⁠ - This four-day retreat aims to provide a holistic and nurturing environment for women to heal through somatic body work. Learn to reconnect with your body, process your trauma, and build resilience. Join us August 26-29, 2025 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Register ⁠HERE⁠.Scholarships and payment plans are available for our intensives! Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

How does entitlement fuel betrayal in relationships? This week Luke welcomes therapist Hope Ray (LPC, CSAT, CHFP, CCPS) to explore how entitlement impacts relationships and fidelity. They discuss the D.I.R.E. model and how overcoming old programming is key to rebuilding trust and authenticity in partnerships. Learn more about Hope at https://www.hoperay.com/Chapters01:23 Introducing Hope Ray03:17 The D.I.R.E. Model09:23 Exploring Entitlement19:45 Family of Origin25:23 Rebuilding Trust and AuthenticityWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us July 8th-11th in Spanish Fork, UT. NEW - Couple’s Add-On Experience - invite your partner to join you for an optional fifth day together in a safe, supportive environment to practice what has been learned.Scholarships and payment plans are available for our intensives! Fill out an application to learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Do you feel like you're never enough? This week Luke shares a transformative moment in therapy that reshaped his healing journey, addressing the deep-rooted belief of insufficiency. Learn how to recognize and fill the internal void, and discover the keys to nurturing your authentic self through heartfelt honesty, compassion, and persistent growth. This episode offers a powerful invitation to shift from seeking external validation to embracing your inherent worth.Chapters02:16 The Myth of “Enough”04:04 Understanding the “Not Enough” Wound07:01 How to Heal and RecoverWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us July 8th-11th in Spanish Fork, UT. NEW - Couple’s Add-On Experience - invite your partner to join you for an optional fifth day together in a safe, supportive environment to practice what has been learned.Scholarships and payment plans are available for our intensives! Fill out an application to learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Are you struggling to rebuild trust after betrayal? This week Luke welcomes Hali Roderick to the podcast. Hali is a coach at Choose Recovery Services, co-host of the podcast Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, and she hosts our free monthly webinar, Road to Recovery. Luke and Hali debunk common myths about relational healing and emphasize the importance of creating safety and stability. Learn how to manage triggers, develop healthier attachment styles, and rediscover intimacy through vulnerability and open communication. Chapters01:15 Introducing Hali Roderick02:08 Myth #1 Talking About It Makes It Worse07:25 Myth #2 If I Show Emotion Then I’m Making It All About Me14:38 Myth #3 I Just Want Her to See How Good I’m DoingWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us July 8th-11th in Spanish Fork, UT. NEW - Couple’s Add-On Experience - invite your partner to join you for an optional fifth day together in a safe, supportive environment to practice what has been learned.Scholarships and payment plans are available for our intensives! Fill out an application to learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Struggling with betrayal or trying to rebuild trust? Join Luke and his guest Staci Somes (Licensed Professional Counselor and coach at Choose Recovery Services) as they discuss managing stressors, recovery, and life. This episode explores coping mechanisms, identifies unhealthy patterns, and shows how to find balance through healthy strategies. Discover how to navigate your emotional journey and show up as your true self.Chapters01:27 Meet Staci03:00 Understanding Coping Mechanisms07:24 Healthy Coping Strategies14:22 Functioning Baseline17:28 Identify Stressors Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us July 8th-11th in Spanish Fork, UT. Scholarships and payment plans are available for our intensives! Fill out an application to learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

What do beliefs have to do with personal growth? This week, Luke explores how ingrained belief systems shape our behaviors, often outside our values, and the steps we can take to rewrite these faulty beliefs. Learn how to challenge and replace core beliefs, and discover how doing so can transform your life. Chapters02:17 Understanding Belief Systems03:11 Defining and Recognizing Beliefs05:20 The Addictive System and Beliefs07:50 Challenging and Changing Beliefs09:54 Practical Exercises for Belief ChangeWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!Heal the Healer - Join us June 12–15 in Mapleton, UT for a luxurious, all-inclusive retreat for women who give endlessly to release your burdens and reconnect with yourself. Enjoy restorative experiences like yoga, mindfulness, somatic healing, music therapy, rafting, a waterfall hike, a sound bath, and a salt cave, all while being nourished with delicious meals and relaxing in beautiful accommodations.Scholarships and payment plans are available for our intensives! Fill out an application to learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Ever wondered what a full disclosure process entails? This week Luke outlines each stage of full disclosure. He breaks down each step from initial inquiry to the post-disclosure phase, offering insights and guidance to help you navigate the complexities of truth-telling and recovery. Get our FREE eBook “Is a Full Therapeutic Disclosure Right For Me?” delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up here!Listen to our five-part series about the disclosure process: Part 1,  Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5Chapters00:56 Understanding Full Disclosure02:50 Overview of All the Stages04:22 Initial Inquiry and Scheduling06:05 Self-Care and Recovery Plan10:05 Partner’s Questions and Scheduling15:12 Post-Disclosure PhaseWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!⁠Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠⁠ - This is a four-day in-person intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 13th-16th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Heal the Healer - Join us June 12–15 in Mapleton, UT for a luxurious, all-inclusive retreat for women who give endlessly to release your burdens and reconnect with yourself. Enjoy restorative experiences like yoga, mindfulness, somatic healing, music therapy, rafting, a waterfall hike, a sound bath, and a salt cave, all while being nourished with delicious meals and relaxing in beautiful accommodations.Scholarships and payment plans are available for our intensives! Fill out an application to learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

How do you define masculinity? In this episode, we explore the inherited beliefs about what it means to be a man and discuss how to reclaim masculinity by embracing vulnerability and authenticity. Discover the intersection of toxic masculinity, recovery, and feminism, and learn practical tools for fostering genuine connections and healing from systemic shame. Join us as we redefine what it truly means to be strong.Chapters03:15 Defining Toxic Masculinity04:11 Linking Masculinity to Addiction and Recovery04:28 Understanding Feminism08:37 The Three Circles13:17 Weekly Practice and ReflectionWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!⁠Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠⁠ - This is a four-day in-person intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 13th-16th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Heal the Healer - Join us June 12–15 in Mapleton, UT for a luxurious, all-inclusive retreat for women who give endlessly to release your burdens and reconnect with yourself. Enjoy restorative experiences like yoga, mindfulness, somatic healing, music therapy, rafting, a waterfall hike, a sound bath, and a salt cave, all while being nourished with delicious meals and relaxing in beautiful accommodations.Scholarships and payment plans are available for our intensives. Email us at [email protected] to learn more.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Does it feel like your partner is more likely to take advice from others rather than you? In this episode Alana Gordon (LMFT, founder of Choose Recovery Services, and co-host of the Choose To Be podcast) joins Luke and they unpack the complexities of why men often don’t accept feedback from their partners. (Hint: It has a lot to do with shame and values.)Chapters00:50 The Communication Gap02:32 Root Causes07:24 Addressing Shame08:59 Practical AdviceWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!⁠Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠⁠ - This is a four-day in-person intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 13th-16th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Heal the Healer - Join us June 12–15 in Mapleton, UT for a luxurious, all-inclusive retreat for women who give endlessly to release your burdens and reconnect with yourself. Enjoy restorative experiences like yoga, mindfulness, somatic healing, music therapy, rafting, a waterfall hike, a sound bath, and a salt cave, all while being nourished with delicious meals and relaxing in beautiful accommodations.Scholarships and payment plans are available for our intensives. Email us at [email protected] to learn more.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Betrayal Trauma Recovery Book Study Group - This group provides a safe space for women to discuss books about betrayal trauma, ask questions, and find community support. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

What does it mean to be masculine? This week Alana Gordon (LMFT, CCPS, Director of Choose Recovery Services, and co-host of the Choose To Be podcast) joins Luke and together they explore the line between healthy masculinity and toxic behaviors.They shed light on vulnerability, emotional suppression, and how to reclaim a healthier version of manhood. Chapters01:28 Defining Masculinity vs. Healthy Masculinity06:35 Impact of Toxic Masculinity14:46 The Pendulum Swing18:22 The Role of Vulnerability23:09 Balance of PowerWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Last change to register - Get $200 off!Courage to Thrive Intensive - This in-person intensive is designed specifically for women who have experienced the deep pain of betrayal and are ready to begin the journey toward reclaiming their lives. Over four transformative days, you’ll gain the tools, skills, and support you need not just to survive, but to truly thrive. The intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on April 23rd-26th. Learn more and register HERE. Use code thriveapril2025 to receive $200 off.Register Now!⁠Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠⁠ - This is a four-day in-person intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 13th-16th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Heal the Healer - Join us June 12–15 in Mapleton, UT for a luxurious, all-inclusive retreat for women who give endlessly to release your burdens and reconnect with yourself. Enjoy restorative experiences like yoga, somatic healing, music therapy, rafting, a waterfall hike, a sound bath, and a salt cave, all while being nourished with delicious meals and relaxing in beautiful accommodations.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - View our intensive calendar and find the right experience for you.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Have you ever wondered why lying feels like a reflex? This week Luke dives deep into the neuroscience and psychology behind dishonesty. Discover how lying serves as a survival mechanism, and learn practical strategies for building boundaries that bring us back into integrity. Through personal stories and expert insights, find out how to manage and reduce dishonest behavior in yourself and your relationships.Chapters01:38 The Struggle with Lying04:39 The Neuroscience of Lying06:38 Psychological Insights and Self-Boundaries10:02 The Harm of White Lies14:36 Facts About LiesRegister Now!⁠Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠⁠ - This is a four-day in-person intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 13th-16th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Courage to Thrive Intensive - This in-person intensive is designed specifically for women who have experienced the deep pain of betrayal and are ready to begin the journey toward reclaiming their lives. Over four transformative days, you’ll gain the tools, skills, and support you need not just to survive, but to truly thrive. The intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on April 23rd-26th. Learn more and register HERE.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Do you know what happens in your brain when you experience attraction, fantasy, or addictive behaviors? Do you wonder if your thoughts are even normal? This week Luke explains the six levels of sexual response, from initial noticing to compulsive behavior.Understand more how your brain works and learn how to think and communicate authentically about your experiences.Chapters01:08 Understanding the Brain04:52 Awareness and Acknowledgement07:36 Interest and Engagement09:04 Cognitive Engagement and Fantasy11:01 Fixation and Obsession11:58 Compulsive Acting Out13:24 Rewiring the BrainRegister Now!⁠Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠⁠ - This is a four-day in-person intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 13th-16th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Courage to Thrive Intensive - This in-person intensive is designed specifically for women who have experienced the deep pain of betrayal and are ready to begin the journey toward reclaiming their lives. Over four transformative days, you’ll gain the tools, skills, and support you need not just to survive, but to truly thrive. The intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on April 23rd-26th. Learn more and register HERE.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Feeling scattered or disconnected from your authentic self? This week Luke is joined by his guest, Darren, and together they delve into the power of daily rituals for stability and self-care. Learn actionable steps to incorporate dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin-enhancing activities into your routine to aid in recovery. Discover the profound impact of intentionality and consistency over perfectionism in your journey towards holistic well-being.Referenced in this episode: Atomic Habits by James ClearChapters01:22 Introducing Darren02:48 Monastic Discipline03:53 Healthy Rituals vs. Compulsive Behaviors11:01 The Importance of Consistency Over Perfectionism21:47 Examples of Daily Rituals29:42 Why Daily Rituals MatterRegister Now!⁠Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠⁠ - This is a four-day in-person intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 13th-16th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.The Body Awakened: A Brainspotting Journey to Healing - Join Amie for a three-day, in-person intensive for women on April 10-12, 2025. Experience Brainspotting, learn how to get back into your body, and heal somatically. Learn more and register HERE.Courage to Thrive Intensive - This in-person intensive is designed specifically for women who have experienced the deep pain of betrayal and are ready to begin the journey toward reclaiming their lives. Over four transformative days, you’ll gain the tools, skills, and support you need not just to survive, but to truly thrive. The intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on April 23rd-26th. Learn more and register HERE.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com