Conflict to Connection: A Guide to Divorce, Coparenting & Relationships

In this episode of Conflict to Connection, Mitch Wilkins and Bill Hewlett speak with Professor Anne Barlow (University of Exeter) about the gaps in the family justice system and how current separation processes can unintentionally increase conflict.Drawing on decades of socio-legal research, Anne reflects on why reforms designed to encourage mediation have instead led to confusion and reduced access to support. The conversation explores emotional readiness, power imbalances, and inconsistencies in mediation practice. Alongside a powerful case for child-inclusive approaches and ensuring children’s voices are meaningfully heard.This is a thoughtful and evidence-led discussion for anyone interested in how we can better support families through separation.What listeners will gainA clearer understanding of why the current system struggles to support families effectivelyInsight into how policy decisions impact real-life separation experiencesA deeper awareness of emotional readiness and its role in mediationPractical thinking around improving outcomes through earlier and better supportA strong evidence-based case for including children in the processWho this episode is forFamily law professionals and mediatorsPolicymakers and those interested in justice reformProfessionals supporting separating familiesParents navigating separation who want to better understand the systemFollow and supportAnne's New Book: Children’s Voices, Family Disputes and Child-Inclusive Mediation - The Right to Be HeardBy Anne Barlow and Jan Ewing  Follow Conflict to Connection on Spotify and leave a review if this episode resonated.Find further support at civilisedseparations.co.uk

What this episode is aboutIn this Q&A episode of Conflict to Connection, the team answers real questions from parents about separation, children, and conflict.The discussion challenges the belief that separation harms children and explains why ongoing parental conflict is the real risk factor. The episode also explores children’s attachment to their parents, the limits of legal solutions, and why repairing the co-parenting relationship matters more than winning a dispute.This is a reflective, experience-led conversation for parents who want to protect their children emotionally during and after separation.Questions answered in this episodeDoes separation harm children?Why does conflict affect children more than divorce itself?Do children always want a relationship with both parents?Why might children return to a parent who has hurt them?Are one-lawyer-for-one-couple arrangements helpful?Why do families lose faith in collaborative law?What is missing from legal-only approaches to separation?What actually helps in situations labelled as parental alienation?What listeners will gainA clearer understanding of what children are responding to during separation.Reassurance for parents questioning whether they are doing the right thing.Insight into why relationship repair matters more than legal positioning.A compassionate reframing of parental alienation.A practical example of how acknowledgement can reopen blocked relationships.Who this episode is forParents navigating separation or divorce.Parents worried about the emotional impact on their children.Parents experiencing distance or rejection from their child.Professionals supporting separating families.Follow and supportFollow Conflict to Connection on Spotify and leave a review if this episode resonated.Find further support at civilisedseparations.co.uk.Follow us:TikTokInstagramYouTube

Children don’t need to be in the middle to be heard.In this episode, Mable Edge from Children 1st Mediation joins Conflict to Connection to unpack the realities of Child Inclusive Mediation - What works, what doesn’t, and why the system still struggles to centre children’s voices. A powerful conversation about reform, responsibility, and doing better for families. This episode is essential listening for mediators, lawyers, and parents who want better outcomes for children and a more humane approach to separation.

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your ChildrenHave you ever wondered what the greatest gift you could give your child might be?Most parents think it’s love, protection and stability. Of course, those things matter. But in this episode of Conflict to Connection, we explore something deeper. Something harder.What if the greatest gift you can give your child… is the ability to cope, even when everything feels like it’s falling apart?Whether you're going through separation, parenting solo, or trying to do better after a high-conflict split, this episode is for you.We talk about the emotional resilience that children need to thrive — and how that often comes from watching you model calm, courage and compassion when it would be easier to give in to fear, anger or frustration.From the heartbreak of drop-off at nursery, to your child telling you they “don’t want to see the other parent,” we unpack what these moments really mean — and how to respond in a way that supports their long-term emotional wellbeing.Because co-parenting isn’t just about logistics. It’s about the emotional environment you’re creating, day by day, moment by moment.What you'll hear in this episode:Why children sometimes need you to do the thing they’re begging you not toWhat your child is really saying when they want to reject a parentThe difference between giving a child a voice — and giving them responsibilityHow subtle conflict in the home can shape your child’s sense of identityWhy unity (even in small doses) is the secret to long-term resilienceThe emotional cost of rumination, blame and resentment — and what to do insteadHow even alienated or excluded parents can still show up and offer emotional supportThe power of “Name it to Tame it” and how to co-regulate with your child during big changesOne thing to take away:Even if you can’t do everything, you can still do one thing that matters.And that one thing — a moment of unity, a message of hope, a decision to model calm instead of chaos — might be the very thing your child remembers ten years from now.Find us at:https://www.civilisedseparations.co.uk/https://www.tiktok.com/@civilisedseparationshttps://www.instagram.com/civilisedseparations/Civilised Separations on LinkedInIf you need support with your separation, book a free consultation call today.

Welcome back to Conflict to Connection for Season 2!We're kicking off with a really interesting conversation with Samantha Woodham, Co-Founder of The Divorce Surgery, about why good lawyers don't let you go to court. Most families don't need litigation when they divorce, they need compassion, clarity on the legal and financial aspects, and support from other professionals with different skillsets to help support them on the coparenting part of their journey. In this episode, we discuss how Sam's revolutionary one-couple, one-lawyer, model is changing how couples are divorcing in the UK by shifting from an adversarial approach to a more amicable one.We explore:➡️ Why the legal system often makes separation harder than it needs to be➡️ How shared legal advice can reduce conflict, cost and stress➡️ Why the support that most parents need during divorce isn't legal, it's relational➡️ The power of mindset, messaging, and keeping children at the heart of the process➡️ How lawyers, mediators and co‑parenting experts can work better togetherLet us know what you think, and how you think divorce could be changed for the better. Remember to hit subscribe and share with anyone who might find this useful!For more information:Civilised Separations💻 https://www.civilisedseparations.co.uk/📹 https://www.tiktok.com/@civilisedseparations📸 https://www.instagram.com/civilisedseparations/🗄️ https://www.linkedin.com/company/civilisedseparations/The Divorce Surgery💻 https://www.thedivorcesurgery.co.uk/📹 https://www.tiktok.com/@divorcesurgery📸 https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcesurgery/?hl=en-gb🗄️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/the-divorce-surgery-b946a3164/

When families separate, the default assumption is often to "lawyer up", but is the courtroom really the best place to resolve family conflict?In this episode, we speak with James Pirrie, family lawyer, mediator and arbitrator at Family Law in Partnership about the limitations of the legal system, the emotional realities of separation, and how multidisciplinary collaboration can better serve separating families.Our hosts Bill Hewlett, founder of Civilised Separations, and Mitch Wilkins, Child Consultant, explore these topics with James:➡️ Why the legal system isn't always the best place for family separations➡️ What actually happens when a case reaches the courtroom➡️ The promise and pitfalls of collaborative law➡️ How children’s needs can get sidelined in legal processes➡️ The role of lawyers, mediators and relational specialists in creating better outcomesWhether you’re a family professional or someone going through separation yourself, this is a frank, thought-provoking conversation about how we can do better for families.🧠 Guest Bio:James Pirrie is a leading family solicitor, mediator and arbitrator based at Family Law in Partnership, known for his work championing non-adversarial approaches to separation. With decades of experience and a passion for reform, James brings a thoughtful, multidisciplinary lens to family law and conflict resolution.🔗 Links & Resources:James Pirrie: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-pirrie-ba94347/Family Law in Partnership: https://www.flip.co.uk/Civilised Separations: https://www.civilisedseparations.co.uk/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@civilisedseparationsInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/civilisedseparations/Explore more episodes of Conflict to Connection wherever you get your podcasts📣 Subscribe & ShareIf you found this episode useful, please subscribe and leave a review. It helps more families find support for better outcomes during separation.

Navigating Blended Families - Strategies for Successful TransitionsBlending families after separation or divorce can be one of the most rewarding but also one of the most complex parts of post-separation life.In this episode of Conflict to Connection, Mitch, Bill, and Bella from Civilised Separations unpack the emotional, relational, and practical challenges that come with forming blended families. With years of experience supporting families in transition, they share compassionate insights and grounded strategies to help parents, children, and new partners move forward with clarity and connection.You’ll hear:– How to manage timing and emotional readiness when introducing new partners– The importance of play and presence in supporting children through change– Why communication with ex-partners still matters—and how to keep it constructive– The role of stepparents and how to define boundaries with empathy– What to do when co-parenting conflicts or parental alienation arise– How to foster trust and belonging in newly formed family systemsThis episode is for anyone navigating life after separation—whether you’re introducing a new partner, forming a blended family, or simply seeking a healthier way to support your children through big changes.Learn more: civilisedseparations.co.uk/podcastFollow us on Instagram: @civilisedseparation TikTok: @civilisedseparations

In this episode of Conflict to Connection: A Guide to Divorce, Separation & Coparenting, we’re exploring the topic of Attachment Theory and how it affects our relationshipsIn this episode of Conflict Connection, Mitch, Bill, and Bella dive into the significance of attachment theory in relationships and how it impacts conflict, especially during divorces. They explore the origins of attachment styles, the impact of caregiver interactions on children's development, and how these styles manifest in adult relationships. By understanding avoidant, anxious, and secure attachment styles, you can learn how these dynamics affect your interactions and conflicts. They also discuss the critical importance of self-awareness, acknowledgment in relationships, and developing positive cues to foster healthier interactions. Whether you're navigating a divorce or looking to understand your relationship dynamics better, this episode provides valuable insights into creating a more harmonious and compassionate relational dynamic.Find out more at ⁠https://www.civilisedseparations.co.uk/⁠Follow us at ⁠https://www.instagram.com/civilisedseparations/⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@civilisedseparations

In this episode of Conflict to Connection: A Guide to Divorce, Separation & Coparenting, we’re tackling the question so many people face once the legal process is over: “We’re divorced—now what?”Mitch, Bill, and Bella discuss what really happens after a divorce is finalised. From emotional recovery to reimagining your future, we explore how to rebuild your identity, support your children, and establish a co-parenting relationship that works for everyone. We share practical strategies for managing guilt, shifting from blame to progress, and fostering a positive tone with your ex—especially when kids are involved.Whether you're newly separated or reflecting on your post-divorce journey, this episode offers valuable insights into life after separation, effective coparenting, emotional healing, and navigating family dynamics with compassion.🎧 Subscribe for more on divorce, coparenting, communication, and creating a healthier family life post-separation.Find out more at https://www.civilisedseparations.co.uk/Follow us at https://www.instagram.com/civilisedseparations/https://www.tiktok.com/@civilisedseparations

Conflict to Connection: A Guide to Divorce, Coparenting and RelationshipsIn this episode, Mitch, Bill, and Bella explore why so many of our conflicts—especially with those closest to us—seem to spiral for no reason. They discuss how unconscious childhood experiences and old emotional wiring can drive our arguments, and what we can do to change that.You’ll hear:– Why we get stuck in the same arguments– The brain’s role in conflict and how it “flips”– How childhood experiences shape adult communication– The “cue mismatch” that triggers rows before they start– How to use pauses, reflection and kindness to reset your relationship– Practical ways to break old habits and rebuild better patternsIf you’ve ever thought, “Why are we even fighting?”, this episode will help you understand what’s happening under the surface—and how to take back control with compassion and awareness.👉 Visit us: civilisedseparations.co.uk📲 Follow us on Instagram: @civilisedseparations🎥 Find us on TikTok: @civilisedseparations

Telling your children about your divorce or separation is one of the hardest conversations a parent can face. In this first episode, Mitch, Bill, and Bella from Civilised Separations explore how to approach this pivotal moment with clarity, compassion, and care.Drawing from their experience in child-inclusive mediation, post-separation family repair, and relational support, they offer practical insights for navigating this conversation in a way that supports your children’s emotional wellbeing and sets the tone for healthier coparenting.You'll learn:– When and how to talk to your children about separation– Why your emotional state matters more than your words– What children really need to hear (and what they don’t)– How to avoid blame and conflict during the conversation– Tips for creating a supportive foundation for future family lifeWhether you're preparing for a separation, in the midst of a divorce, or supporting someone else through it, this episode offers grounded, thoughtful advice on putting your children’s needs at the heart of the process.For more resources and support, visit civilisedseparations.co.ukhttps://www.tiktok.com/@civilisedseparationshttps://www.instagram.com/civilisedseparations/

Conflict to Connection: A Guide to Divorce, Coparenting and RelationshipsIn this episode, Mitch, Bill, and Bella from Civilised Separations unpack what's fundamentally broken in the way separation and divorce are handled in the UK—and what a better, more compassionate approach could look like.Drawing on Bill’s experience managing Family Relationship Centres in Australia, they discuss how a more child-focused, reflective, and emotionally aware process can help families avoid conflict, reduce harm, and reshape their relationships after separation.They explore:– Why current UK divorce processes often make things worse– What we can learn from Australia’s family mediation model– The role of Child Inclusive Mediation in reducing long-term harm– How kindness, reflection, and collaboration change everything– Why the legal process often misses the emotional root of conflictIf you're separating, supporting clients, or working in family law, this episode offers insight into a better way forward—for parents, professionals, and most importantly, children.👉 Visit us: civilisedseparations.co.uk📲 Follow us on Instagram: @civilisedseparations🎥 Find us on TikTok: @civilisedseparations