Crime Drama Queens

Send us Fan MailBetter late than never! Especially if you watched The Puzzle Lady and were starting to grow resentful towards us. We apologise. For everything. Our tardiness. Our program choice...We didn't love this one, but we did get to say "no dick, no joy"* again, so maybe it was worth it. And yes, we know Mr Kipling is not an actual person who bakes for the masses. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is on "Above Suspicion," season one, episodes one and two. This is available on ITVX in the UK and on Prime and Apple TV elsewhere in the world. *If you don't get this reference, check out our Dalziel and Pascoe episode. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailHey presto! It's our second episode of Patience, and we did, indeed, lose our patience with it. There is a man with a silly hat though, which goes a long way with us, but sadly not far enough. Buckle in for magicians, jewel thieves, and a Master Manipulater. Apparently. This episode contains descriptions of fictionised violence, and of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is on "Murder Most Puzzling", season one, episode one. This is available on Channel 5 on demand in the UK, on PBS Masterpiece in the US, but you might need a VPN elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailBetter late than never! Apologies for the late delivery of this episode; Trial and Retribution knocked us out and it took us an extra few days to digest. Especially with all those maggots. All. Those. Maggots. If you can stomach maggots though (not literally), and want to see Richard E Grant in FULL flow, then we recommend watching this series of Trial and Retribution. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. At time of recording this programme was available on ITVX in the UK, and on Britbox, Prime, and Apple TV elsewhere in the world. Our next episode will be on "Patience," season two, episode three. This is available to watch on Channel 4 catch up in the UK, on the ABC in Australia, and on PBS and Prime in the US. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailWhat great japes this programme is! We thought Sister Boniface was really quite spiffing actually. There are lolly stick pipe holders, a chatty parrot, and a deadly puppet. Why ANYONE would choose to live in a village named "Great Slaughter" is beyond us, but thankfully Sister Boniface is on standby to solve the many, MANY, murders that happen there. This episode contains scenes of fictionalised violence and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is probably on Trial and Retribution, but as we're a bit behind on things (Lily had to host birthday party for TWENTY FOUR 11 year olds) we haven't chosen a series yet. Will update here when we can! Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailTaggart! At last, oh happy (if a bit grim) days! We have venomous snakes in beds, cars, and dog food, a spider up your sleeve, juicy frogs, fatal spaghetti, and a lot of TERRIBLE hair! And a description of Lex's Burns Night outfit from the early 2000s, because why not. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. At time of recording Taggart was available on Channel 5 on demand in the UK, Prime and Roku in the US, and ABC iview in Australia. Our next episode is on The Sister Boniface Mysteries, season two, episode one, "Don't Try This At Home." This is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, and on Britbox elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailTally ho! Pip pip! We have a bit of everything for you today: pigs, highballs, wham kapow fights, more pigs, a history lesson about the English Civil War, a crucified scarecrow, and yet more pigs. Also, if you don't want to hear our thoughts on HMRC and the DWP then fast forward the first five minutes. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, if full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is on Taggart, episode TBC! Taggart is available on 5 catch up on the UK, ABC iview in Australia, and Britbox elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailDo you remember The Inspector Lynley Mysteries? Yeah, this is that. Did we need it rebooted? Let's find out!Lex gives us a history lesson on the London sewer network (thank you, Joseph Bazalgette), we discuss men's fashions, hand grenades, and the Rusty Trowel, and take a moment to celebrate the dad bod. All in the name of Lynley.At time of recording "Lynley" was available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, and Britbox elsewhere in the world.This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode will be on "Campion", season one, episodes 5 and 6, "The Case of the Late Pig." This is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, and on Britbox elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailListeners! We're back! We have missed you! Have you missed us? (don't answer that)We're back for a quick interim ep to talk about the crime dramas we did and didn't watch over Christmas. Don't worry, there are no spoilers this week, so if you haven't watched anything and are planning to catch up, then you can listen with confidence. Unless you are looking forward to The Good Ship Murder. We may burst your bubble on that one. Plus, you get an unnecessarily detailed synopsis of Jodie Foster's 2005 Thriller "Flightplan." (It's on a PLANE)Our next episode will be on Lynley, the NEW ONE, on BBC Iplayer. Season one, episode one, "A Place of Hiding". You should be able to find it on Britbox elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailBonjour! We're in Paris and our detective, Maigret, is investigating a series of stabbings. Unfortunately for him the press, his boss, and sometimes his wife, all think he's doing a RUBBISH job. But fear not, with the help of his pipe and fedora, he will solve this case. But not before there are a couple more killings. He gets his man and, would you believe it, the problem was WOMEN all along. Having said all that, we really liked this one! We also enjoyed envisioning Rowan Atkinson playing various other roles from programmes we've covered. Could he have replaced Jimmy Nesbitt in Murphy's Law perhaps? Or donned a wetsuit in Annika? So many possibilities.This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. At the time of recording "Maigret" was available on ITVX in the UK and on Prime, Apple, or Britbox elsewhere in the world. Our next episode is on CHRISTMAS TELLY! Get circling all the crime christmas specials in your Radio Times! We will cover as much as we can watch, or persuade our families to watch. Joyeux Noël! Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailWhat do a harpoon, a corkscrew, a giant toblerone, and Jane McDonald's secretions all have in common? They're all murder weapons of course! Welcome to the delightfully bonkers Death on the Tyne! This isn't our usual speed but we loved it, especially as it stars our heroine, Sue Johnston. If you fancy murders on a ship, but don't want The Good Ship Murder (and, fair play if you don't) then watch Death on the Nile (the Peter Ustinov one). Once you've done that, watch Death on the Tyne! It's not a bad way to while away 90 min, or 190 mins including ads, and you'll never look at dolphins the same way away again. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is on "Maigret" (the Rowan Atkinson one), season one, episode one, "Maigret Sets a Trap." This is on ITVX in the UK and on Apple TV and Prime elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailFriends, this whole episode is about us finding more Sue Johnston to love, with a bit of Madame Blanc on the side. Actually, this is probably our most chaotic episode yet. Yay!Fear not, we still spend plenty of time in the world of Jean White, aka Madame Blanc, along with dodgy antiques dealers, our foreign language failings, layers of wigs, and, be still our beating hearts, a CHUCKLE  BROTHER (Even if we get a bit confused about which Chuckle Brother)!This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is on "Death on the Tyne." This is available on U in the UK, and on Prime and Apple TV elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailHas "Murphy's Law" ever been compared to the 70's classic "Abigail's Party" before? Well, there's a first time for everything. This early episode of Jimmy Nesbitt's gritty cop drama combines high farce with delicate pathos in a way that is, in Lex's words, "confusing." Which blonde was it?? Stay tuned to find out.This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence and, if course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is on "The Madame Blanc Mysteries," season one episode three. This is available on 5 on demand in the UK and on Acorn TV, Netflix, and PBS is the US and elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailApologies for the tardy release of this one; half term duties disrupted things a smidge! But have no fear, Hetty is here at last. She is on the trail of a poison pen writer who has a whole village gripped in terror - who will be accused of being a shag bandit rubber knickers next?? Sue Johnston graces our screens again at last, albeit in a huge black wig, and thankfully there is no Lozza Fox to upset the balance. Instead we indulge in dubonnet talk, our favourite BBC complaints, and Lex confesses the most awkward things she has managed to say to other human beings in real life scenarios. Enjoy!At time of recording Hetty Wainthropp was available on ITVX and NOW TV, and on Britbox and Apple TV elsewhere in the world. Our next episode is on "Murphy's Law," season one, episode five, "Kiss and Tell." This is available on U and Prime in the UK, and Prime and Apple TV elswhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailLet's play Crime Drama bingo!We have a closed circle mystery in a country house with the Met Police drafted in to solve multiple murders featuring arterial spray on the ceiling along with adultery  and a splash of incest! Lynley has got it all! Lynley himself has the demeanor of Tory MP harrassing an intern, and his side kick, Havers, has the hairstyle of her name sake, Nigel Havers (who probably has played a Tory MP in his time), but that's not the half of it. We also have a young Idris Elba and a very young James McAvoy. Why not, eh? This is early 21st Century Lynley, with Lynley 2025 just around the corner. Buckle up!This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS!Our next episode will be on "Hetty Wainthropp Investigates". Seasons 1 - 4 are available in the UK on ITVX, and on BritBox elsewhere in the world. Episode TBC...watch this space! Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailOh, the nineties, the decade of crime drama that just keeps giving! Touching Evil is at the gritty end of the scale and has all the tropes we have come to know and roll our eyes at. There is bad arterial spray, good arterial spray, creepy killers, and very low lighting. And at the end of this episode you may understand why we have only been communicating with each other via Jimmy Nesbitt gifs all week. This wasn't our favourite, but at least we have Robson Green's "piercing blue eyes", and "sexual charisma" (not our words) to help us along the way. Pour a tumbler of whiskey and let's get yelling at that murder board!This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.Our next episode will be on The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, season one, episode two, "Payment in Blood." This is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, on Britbox and HBO Max in the US, and on Britbox and Hoopla in Australia. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailWelcome to our FIFTIETH EPISODE! (Not including bonus or interimming etc.)This milestone completely passed us by when we were recording this. Never mind. Onwards! Kerry Godliman plays our heroine, Pearl Nolan, and there is a suitable amount of silliness on offer in Whitstable Pearl. However, we'd had a couple of little drinkies and get waylaid along some tangents. We discuss bad crisp flavours, Lex's inability to relax wearing clothes, appropriate wedding canopes, DIY fails, and how to kill someone with an oyster. Also, if you do want to make your own decking (please episode forty nine, "London Kills") all you will need is precut wood and an impact driver.This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and is of course, full of SPOILERS. Our next epsiode will be on "Touching Evil", season two, episodes one and two. These are available on ITVX in the UK, on Apple and Prime in the US, and on 7plus in Australia. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan Mail*The version that we initially published was dodgy - nowt untoward, but Lily's track blanked out for 15 mins. Maybe you'd prefer it like this? Anyway, this version should be complete. Apols!*London Kills... a great tagline for our capital city? Possibly not, but not a bad programme as it turns out. A body is found under some decking in the garden of a student house in Camden. A STUDENT house. In CAMDEN. With a GARDEN. Forget the murder, this is a mystery that needs investigating. The plot trips along at a merry old rate and we have big hair, creeps in suits, murder, betrayal, and some badly built decking. Enjoy! You also get to listen in on our process when it comes to selecting what programmes to watch. It is a peek behind the scenes into our ordered and methodical brains, no less. Lucky you.This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is on "Whitstable Pearl", season two, episode six, "To Those We Love." This is available on "U" in the UK, on Acorn and Prime in the US, and Foxtel and 9Now in Australia. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailLex is in Turkey and Lily is FINE with that. Our next episode is on "London Kills" season two, episode one. It is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, Acorn TV and others in the US, and Binge and Foxtel in Australia. Watch out for those buses. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailBetter late than never! Apologies for the late episode, the combination of lack of WiFi and the school holidays scuppered us for a few days. But we're here now! In Death Valley! No, not the American one, the one in Wales with all the murders and Dave Coaches from Gavin and Stacey. Basically four weddings and not a funeral, but someone who dies because laxative poisoning made their head explode...or something. Lex's sound is dodgy on this one but really, it's all relative. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and is, of course, full of SPOILERS.Our next episode will be on "London Kills", season two episode one. This is available on BBC iPlayer in the UK, and on Acorn TV and Prime elsewhere. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailWelcome to Vincent AND TEAM. Because Vincent would be nothing without his team. Well, he would be dead or in prison. And that's what happens when you try and deal with things just using your fists. Anyway, it turns out that Lex really likes Ray Winstone, and arterial spray (although not together), and that her first born slept really well as a baby. Lily is also fussy about arterial spray but has no such feelings about Ray Winstone, nor similar memories of her babies. We talk about the programme as well. Sorry this is a day late. The weather is really hot and Lily went to the beach and then forgot. Soz!At the time of recording Vincent was available on ITVX in the UK, and on Pluto or Prime in the US. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.Our next episode is on "Death Valley" season one, episode three. This is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK and on Britbox in the US. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailDetective Chief Superintendent Christopher Foyle has a crime to solve, and it's in a Funk Hole (brother, check it out now)! It's WWII and there are crimes aplenty, most of them in said funk hole, which is not an underground bar, but an excuse for a hotel putting up those who wish to tap out of the war, and can afford to do so. There are a couple of deaths, some stolen tinned ham, and even accusations of sedition against Foyle himself! Tune in now to find out not only what happens, and how Foyle solves it all, but also for details of both Lily and Lex's GCSE and A' level English Literature syllabi, which, for some reason, we cover in quite a lot of detail. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode will be on "Vincent", with Ray Winstone and Surane Jones. This is available on ITVX in the UK, and on Prime elsewhere in the world. Season two, episode one. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailTrigger warning - there is a LOT of talk of sexual assault in this episode as it is the main theme of the program we are discussing. If you'd rather give this one a swerve, we completely understand and we'll see you again next time. Brighton, 2012: Lots of women are attacked in Brighton by a man in a rubber suit, wielding a sex toy. Brighton, 2023: The rubber suit man is back, and Roy Grace is out to get him. There's a lot to be grossed out by in this episode, and it doesn't help that there's no Sue Johnston to help us through. Lex squeaks with laughter at the idea of an undertaker preparing a dead body, and Lily manages to slander one of the UK's top character actors. We have put both the shambles and the bolic back in shambolic, which is a shame because we actually really liked this one. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, including sexual violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is on Foyle's War, season two, episode four, "The Funk Hole." This is available on ITVX in the UK, and on Acorn TV and PBS in the USA. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailTwo middle aged women talk about what they're watching on TV and forget a lot of people's names. Our next full length episode will be on on 13th June 2025 and will be on "Grace" season three, episode one, "Dead Like You." It's as sinister as it sounds. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailAnother pheasant shoot, another dead (human) body. Get new interests, people! These shoots aren't safe! This is especially true for the high ranking hobbyists of Westershire police force, ACC Fisher, and Inspector Henry Crabb.  Henry is a chef and a policeman, because why not? He's also not great with cash and manages to lose a wad of it in the opening scenes. Because of this he winds up catering the shoot in question and, naturally, having to investigate the death of the day. This is a short episode from us as, once again, time has not been on our side. To be fair though, I think we said all that needs to be said. This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is on "Grace", season three, episode one, "Dead Like You." This is available on ITVX in the UK, and on Prime and Britbox in the US. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailAt last! The long awaited Ellis! Channel Five have come good with this one (adverts notwithstanding) as Ellis is not half bad. Sharon D. Clarke is pretty fab, if a bit brooding, in the title role, and the story holds together so long as you don't think about it too much, which, of course, we do.There are citizen journalists, the most annoying woman in the world, a kid with a drone, a man running round clutching his amputated hand, and an absolutely incompetent murderer. We also discuss how our gen alpha children are an improvement on us, their millennial parents, and it's got nothing to do with avocado toast and posh coffees. There's some crazy echoing on the audio which we've tried to remove but you might hear the ghost of Lily while Lex is talking, so apologies for that. Oh, and Lex manages to turn herself into Gandalf at one point. This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and is, of course, full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is on "Pie in the Sky", season three, episode two, "Game Pie." This is available for free in the UK on the "U" app on freeview, and on PBS in the USA. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailHey crime drama lovers,Sorry about the lack of a proper episode this week - Lex has been facing challenges at work that even a team including Jane Tennison, Endeavour Morse, Sherlock Holmes, and Jackson Brodie would struggle to overcome. We will get "Ellis" out to you next week! In the meantime, here is Lily rambling on for five minutes. Our next episode will be on "Ellis" season one, episode three. This can be found on C5 on demand in the UK, on Apple TV in the US, and on Stan in Australia. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailWelcome to our first episode recorded face to face, in the same room rather than hundreds of miles apart! We had a WONDERFUL time, although the benefit to you is nil. The sound quality is patchy (we had tried for a studio but it was Good Friday and weverything was closed) as we were in Lily's airbnb room, and we are horribly hungover as we had been out celebrating Lex's birthday the night before. Having said that, we talk all things Case Histories, from the flawed, if highly appealing, main detective, to the conjoined cases he solves, lost cats, dead dogs, death by axe, death by accidental neck slashes, and religious visions on the side. Lily LOVED it, but when all's said and done, Lex would have preferred to watch Taken. Again. #toteslegitThis podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and of course, is full of SPOILERS.UPDATE: Our next episode will bring on "Ellis" season one, episode three. This is available on Channel 5 on demand in the UK and on Acorn TV and Prime elsewhere. Find us on Faceook, on Instagram @crimedramaqueens, or email us at [email protected] artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailFirst off, let us apologise for the amount we talk about the weather and various weather apps at the beginning. It's almost like we didn't want to talk about Rosemary and Thyme. Almost. But we do get into it, and what towering achievment of television it isn't. There are two people shot dead, some extortion, terrible wallpapering, a menace on wheels, our heros merrily encouraging toxic relationships, and a three legged dog that gets the blame. Oh, and the MISSING CURRY PLANTS! SOUND THE ALARUMS, WE HAVE PLANT THEFT! So, enjoy. As much as you can. Even Felicity Kendal and Pam Ferris can't save this one. This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.Our next episode will be on "Case Histories" season one, episodes one and two. This is available on U (freeview channel and app) in the UK and on Acorn TV elsewhere. Find us on Facebook, on Instagram @crimedramaqueens, or email us at [email protected] Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailIt's another Agatha Christie! Drink every time Lily says "I know we're not talking about the book, but..." Actually, don't, that would be dangerous. Protect the NHS.We had some dramas while recording this episode as a plusnet engineer started drilling into Lily's house, and then the internet cut out so she had to drive across town to keep recording elsewhere. But don't worry, we've cut all that from the edit...we had to, otherwise this episode would have been as long as Towards Zero itself, and if you've watched it, you'll know that's looooong. There's plenty to enjoy though, if like fabulous clothes, sets, lingering stares, and dodgy lipstick. And who doesn't?We find out more about Lex's exes, her try scoring celebration routine, and how she identifies herself as "just a person watching a thing." Lily, on the other hand, doesn't need to identify herself as anything. You can make your own assumptions about her as she hisses "genius" aggressively when talking about her pal, Agatha. #totallylegitThis podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.Our next episode will be on "Rosemary and Thyme" season three, episode five, "Three Legs Good." This is available on ITVX in the UK and on BritBox elsewhere. Find us on Facebook, on Instagram @crimedramaqueens, or email us at [email protected] Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailEnter stage left: A tall, pale, man in a deerstalker. Spry, and somewhat unnerving, Jeremy Brett is to some people (Lily), but not others (Lex), the definitive Sherlock Holmes. It's not an absolute belter of a episode though as an intervention by a couples therapist would have perhaps been more suitable to the problem at hand. Lex bemoans the lack of brouhaha, but at least we have dancing stick figures, a head of hair that seems to grow like expanding foam, and some of the most extraordinary facial hair ever to grace our TV screens. We did it, so it's done. This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.Our next episode will be on "Towards Zero" (the new one). This is available on BBC IPlayer in the UK, and will be available on Britbox in the US and Canada from April 16th. Find us on Facebook, on Instagram @crimedramaqueens, or email us at [email protected] Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailKenneth Branagh shines in this anglicised version of the skandi noir classic, Wallander. However, it's not that hard to shine when everything around you is so incredibly bleak. Having said that, there are lots of bodies, and one of them is even heavily charred, while the others are axed and scalped, so plenty to enjoy on that front. We we also have dodgy eye shadow (sorry, Linda), a pair of shittens (sorry, Linda), and a very unfortunate face mask. We quite enjoyed this, but if you are feeling a bit hollowed out by life, Wallander might be one to miss. You could always watch "Dead Again" instead. HIGHLY recommended. Please listen for full synopsis. This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.Our next episode will be on "Sherlock Holmes" (the Jeremy Brett version), season one, episode two, "The Dancing Men." This is available on ITVX in the UK, and Amazon Prime and Apple TV elswhere in the world. Find us on Facebook, on Instagram @crimedramaqueens, or email us at [email protected] Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailSilly hats, squabbling academics, tudor costumes, death by antique sword...what can we say? Just the usual antics in the world of crime drama. We've seen all these things before but this time we are in the world of Father Brown. It's not the greatest introduction to the world of G.K. Chesterton's crime solving priest, but if you are into secret codes and battle reinactments, you are in for a treat. Apologies for the weird knocking sounds. Both our tracks, recorded on different devices, several hundred miles apart, had strange knockings sounds throughout. We've removed them as much as possible, but, as ever, we don't really know what we're doing. I suspect the ghost of G.K. Chesterton might have been trying to reach us...This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.Our next episode will be on "Wallander" (the Kenneth Brannagh version), season one, episode one, "Sidetracked." This is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, and Britbox and PBS in the US. Find us on Facebook, on Instagram @crimedramaqueens, or email us at [email protected] Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailYork, present day: A woman is found dead inside a dinosaur exhibit. Not inside the exhibit, you understand.  Not wodged in with the dinosaurs. Only a total fool would think that. And she drowned....OR DID SHE?Well, Patience, our eagle eyed investigative consultant, knows that she did. And Patience leads our professional detectives gently through the clues of dino bones, dodgy tattoos, and google maps. We follow along too, getting occasionally distracted by men named Russell, Lex dressing up as a baguette and/or a tudor cook, and a handsome, if smug, museum director. Happy days!This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode will be on Father Brown, season twelve, episode one, "The Battle of Kembleford." This is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, and on Britbox and Amazon Prime in the US, and elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailA woman has been clubbed in the head with a toffee hammer, but it's ok, as she was "clubbable," and probably deserved it. Oh, and the clowns in Brussels have got rid of toffee hammers so maybe she was shot instead. Confused?Welcome to the world of Detective Superintendent Andy Dalziel! He's assisted by Detective Sergeant Peter Pascoe, who has the audacity to be university educated, and is VERY smug about it. It's the 90s so buckle up! We have a rugby club, hookers that hook, sex pests, flashing, a peeping tom, a welshman sobbing to "The Green Green Grass of Home," a killer that can bend time, and of course, that iconic couple, Dick and Joy. This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and is, of course, full of SPOILERS. Our next episode will be on "Patience," season one, episode three, "The Missing Link." This is available on Channel 4 catch up in the UK, but it looks like you'll need a VPN elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailHello all, here we are again. Quick update to let you know we're binning off Father Brown as the episode we were going to talk about is no longer avilable on "U" and we can't find it anywhere else. After all that fuss about finding the app and stuff. Tsk. Anyway, we've decided to do something else.  The something else: "Dalziel and Pascoe," season one, episode one, "A Clubbable Woman." Yes, a woman gets clubbed to death. It is available in the UK on BBC Iplayer and ITVX, and on Prime, Britbox, and Apple TV elsewhere in the world. One day, Father Brown, one day. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailThere's no full length episode this week because Christmas and New Year threw us off our stride. Come on now, take a deep breath and wipe your tears - we'll get one to you soon. In this little minisode Lily tries to do a short review of the crime dramas and murder mysteries on offer this Christmas, but without Lex to gently rein her in, gets slightly distracted. Happy New Year!  ***UPDATE***  Our next episode will NOT be on Father Brown, season five, episode two, "The Labyrinth of the Minotaur," as stated by Lily because it is no longer available for free online. Instead we will be looking at "Dalziel and Pascoe" season one, episode one, "A Clubbable Woman." This is available on BBC Iplayer, and ITVX in the UK, and on Britbox, Prime, and Apple TV elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailIt's CHRIIIISTMAS! And the village of Codswallop Shallows (or similar) is celebrating by hosting lots of ghost hunts, just as Jesus would have wanted. There are only two bodies in this one, so it's not an all time classic, but we do have Mark Heap in a mustard jumper, Les Dennis in a variety of outfits, and a steely eyed man in a barbour jacket who doesn't know what to do with his arms. Fun and games!We struggle with the usual tech issues, mispronounce names, and set Viking River Cruises straight on their advertising strategy. Merriest of winter seasonings to you all!This episodes contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.At the time of recording, Midsomer Murders is available on ITVX in the Uk, and on Britbox, Apple TV, and Prime video in the rest of the world. We haven't decided on our next episode yet, so if you have any requests just let us know on Facebook, Insta, or at [email protected] and we will endeavour to get ourselves organised! Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailYou know the drill, a Met Police officer has left London and is solving crimes in someone else's backyard. This time the dectective in question is returning to her own backyard - Dolphin Cove, which is just down the coast from Summer Bay, Australia. We discuss Neighbours, Home and Away, Enid Blyton, Mein Kampf, and even, occasionally, the programme in question. But whether you're interested in Return to Paradise or not, tune in anyway to find out what rugby injury Lex is sporting today!At the time of recording "Return to Paradise is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, iView in Australia, and via a VPN in the rest of the world, but it should be landing on Britbox soon. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.Our next episode will be on Midsomer Murders, season 16, episode 1, "A Christmas Hauting." Spoooooky. It's available to watch in the UK on ITVX and, and on Prime Video, Apple TV, and the Roku channel elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan Mail*This is the second of a two parter on Silent Witness so you may want to listen to part one  (ep 31 on Silent Witness season 4, eps and 6) if you want to get the references. But we're not the boss of you so do as you like.*We're back! And this time with Dr Nikki Alexander and lots of dead crows. Hardly anyone is "well nourished," and nobody is "heavily charred," so already things are looking up. Also, there's just a bit more going on. If it wasn't for the rage baiting theme music Lily might have actually quite liked this. Maybe. But just remember, everyone, patholgists are not the police, but are independent, expert witnesses, using their skill and experience to establish the facts, irrespective of whether those facts cause difficulties or embarrassment for the administration of justice. (pause for applause)Thank you. This episodes contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Despite saying our next episode will be on Father Brown, we are actually excited to announce we will be doing Return to Paradise, the aussie spinoff from Death in Paridise! (NOT the Joaquim Phoenix film!) Season one, episode one. This is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, iView in Australia, and currently via a VPN in the rest of the world, although it is due to land on Britbox soon. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailIts the first in our two part Silent Witness Extravaganza and we couldn't be more excited! Or we were, until we watched this. We are not the biggest fans of Professor Sam Ryan. Sorry, Sam, but you are a sanctimonious bore. And you use the phrase "making love," which has not been good for our digestive health. Someone gets almost beaten to death, someone gets electrodes attached to their testicles, and someone else has to kneel down in front of Sam for her viewing pleasure, and yet still this is incredibly dull and slow. You can testata silens out of here, thank you very much. And don't get Lex started on Clippy, the microsoft assistant. Just don't. Red rag to a bull, that one.Will the modern, 2024, Silent Witness fare any better? Stay tuned to find out...This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. At the time of recording Silent Witness, "A Good Body" was available on BBC Iplayer in the Uk, and Britbox and Amazon Prime elsewhere in the world. Our next episode is on Silent Witness, season twenty seven, episodes one and two. These are available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, and Britbox and Amazon Prime elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailA monk gets bled, has a hallucination, gets fed opium, and the upshot is that there is a murder that Cadfael has to solve, in three days or less. The twelfth century is tough enough without all the slings, arrows, and outrageous hair extensions, but Derek Jacobi and his tonsure are here to save the day. This one wasn't Lex's fave (despite the presence of the Demon Headmaster - apols for the 20 mins we spend discussing his resume), but Lily is a fan of this particular time period so is happy to award extra points based on that alone. Beware the townsfolk that move as one, beware the poppy juice, and beware of overly heavy caskets supposedly containing the bones of a saint... The sound is a bit dodgy on this one, apologies for that. We were in two very different environments, in different parts of the country, and were playing with a flickering internet connection. Go team! This podcast contains descriptions of ficionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.Our next episodes will be our Silent Witness double episode extravaganza! Our chosen episodes are:Season 4, episodes 4 and 5 - "A Good Body."Season 27, episodes 1 and 2 - "Effective Range."These are available in the UK on BBC IPlayer, and on Britbox and Amazon Prime elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailWe haven't LOVED the newer shows we've covered so far, but that changes here and now because we loved Ludwig. In fact, the only thing that could have made it better would be David Mitchell crooning at the end of each episode. However, we will do without that, and instead indulge in problem solving (spot the difference), person case hunting, teambuilding exercises, and Lex's advice on the best way of  disoposing of a dead body. Give her a break though, she was concussed at the time of recording.  Oh, and Felicity Kendal is in this one. This podcast contains descriptions of ficionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode will be on Cadfael, season 2, episode 3, "A Morbid Taste for Bones." This is available on ITVX in the UK, and Britbox, Prime, and Apple TV elswhere in the world. We are also planning our Silent Witness double episode extravaganza! These episodes will drop on 22nd November (or thereabouts) so you have the best part of a month to watch both Silent Witnesses, if you so wish. These episodes are:Season 4, episodes 4 and 5 - "A Good Body."Season 27, episodes 1 and 2 - "Effective Range."These are available in the UK on BBCIPlayer, and on Britbox and Amazon Prime elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailIt's our one year anniversary! Whoop whoop! And to celebrate, Lex has covid. But like a hero, like an avenging angel, she comes through for us and we battle through this delightful, cheesy, nonsense. See what I did there? We have garroting, stabbing, death by cow, and of course, Martine and that truckle of cheese. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with us this first year, politely downloading and listening to two women with declining hormones forget people's names and offload about actors they do and don't like, often with no apparent reason*. This is just the start! At the time of recording, Midsomer Murders, "Schooled in Murder" was available on ITVX in the UK and Amazon and Acorn TV elsewhere in the world.This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and is, of course, full of SPOILERS. Our next episode will be on "Ludwig", season one, episode TWO. It is available on BBC Iplayer in the Uk but it looks like you might need a VPN elsewhere in the world. Don't worry, it'll get to you soon! *Apart from Laurence Fox. There is a reason. He is the reason. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailCaution - a dog gets murdered in this episode of Luther.  And  people are murdered too of course, but that goes without saying. Discussions include Luther's questionable processes (#notallMETpolice), whether a woman who pouts is more fascinating that a woman who doesn't, and the impact that Danny DeVito's presence would have had over the whole affair. In fact, we discuss Danny DeVito more than anything else. BUT there is no mention of The Marlowe Murder Club. You're welcome. At the time of recording Luther was available in the UK on BBC IPlayer, on Prime, Apple TV and the Roko channel in the US, and on Stan and Apple TV in Australia. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and is, of course, full of SPOILERS.Our next episode is on Midsomer Murders, season 15, episode 6, "Schooled in Murder." It is currently available on ITVX in the UK, and Britbox elsewhere in the world. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailOk, we didn't love this one, but we did find a reason to be optimistic. Was it the plot? The scripts? The acting? Shayne Ward's linen wardrobe? No. None of those. But even in the darkest of times, we found one thing to love. Have a listen to find out what it was. At time of recording, The Good Ship Murder was available to watch in the UK on My5, in the US on Prime Video and Apple TV, and on SBS On Demand in Australia. This episodes contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and is, of course, full of SPOILERS. Our next episode will be on "Luther" season one, episode one. This is currently available on BBC IPlayer in the UK, on Prime, Apple TV, and the Roko channel in the US, and on Stan and Apple TV in Australia. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan Mail"Can it be? ...it's my own particular one and only four starred pussy. The super pussy of all old pussies..."*IT'S MISS MARPLE!And it's Jane Marple in midsomer land with a high body count and bonkers deaths. We LOVED this and quite frankly, we don't care if you didn't. It's even got Matt from Busted in it. Apols for the cameos by Lex's dog (cat?) and a five year old boy. Summer hols, innit. * Sir Henry Clithering in "A Murder is Announced", by Agatha Christie. First published by the Collins Crime Club in 1950. If you made that out to be more than it was, that's on you, not me. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. Our next episode is on The Good Ship Murder, season one, episode two. My5 in the UK, Apple TV and Britbox elsewhere. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailStop me if you've heard this: A detective from the Met Police gets transferred to a complelety different jurisdiction and has to join a team of quirky locals to solve a baffling murder. Nope, it's not Death in Paradise, it's not even McDonald and Dodds! Because we're in Turkey this time, for the Turkish Detective!No cliche is left unturned in these opening episodes, but that doesn't mean we don't have hope for the future, so hang in there. If nothing else, listen to find out what Lex used to secrete in her bed as a teenager. Is it relevent to the plot? Maybe. Maybe not. You'd better download and find out...At the time of recording "The Turkish Detective" was available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, and via a VPN in the rest of the world. This podcast contains description of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.Our next podcast episode will be on "Agatha Christie's Marple", season six, episode two, "Greenshaw's Folly." ITVX for you Brits, Britbox in the US. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan Mail"IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'S OK, DOESN'T REALLY MATTER IF YOU'RE OLD AND GREY...!"You're welcome, everyone. It's New Tricks, and we have the OG team of Sandra, Jerry, Jack, and Brian. There's a lot of stomping around wearing macs, grumbling, and trying to get straight answers out of people. The late, great, Dennis Waterman sings the above theme tune, and gets slated for having the audacity to wear a half decent jacket. Sorry this one is a bit late, we've been watching the Olympics.Our next episode will be on "The Turkish Detective", episodes one and two, which is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, but in the USA you might need a VPN. It is due to be released on Paramount later this year. Sorry! At time of recording "New Tricks" was available in the UK on BBC Iplayer and Hulu and BritBox in the US. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence and is, of course, full of SPOILERS. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailIn Professor T we have another psychology professor who helps the police solve crimes, but Jasper Tempest is no Cracker. Thankfully. There are singing teapots, bubbles aplenty, and a badger. Or a fellow called Badger. We don't dwell too much on the crime in this one, but get slightly distracted with a subplot focusing on questionable dating etiquette (do you always need to attend a date in person, or can you send a sub?), our own personal remiscences about posters (they are things we pulled from magazines, and stuck to the wall - look it up, kids), and Lily reveals her deep seated support for Ollie Watkins in the days leading up to the Euros semi final.  Our next episode will be on "New Tricks", season seven, episode five, "Fashion Victim."At the time of recording "Professor T" was available to watch in the UK on ITVX, and in the US on PBS or Prime video. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

Send us Fan MailIn this episode we take the adage "if you don't laugh, you'll cry," to the absolute maximum. And friends, we manage not to cry. It's 1993 and Edward "Fitz" Fitzgerald has been, you've guessed it, hired as a consultant to the police. He traumatises everyone around him, which is weird considering he supposed to be such an amazing psychologist, but he is good at catching the bad guy, so that's ok. And by the way, the name we couldn't get - Vicky McClure. So now you know. Our next episode will be on "Professor T", season one, episode five, "Sophie Knows." At the time of recording "Cracker" was available to watch on ITVX in the UK, and on Britbox in the US. This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and is, of course, full of SPOILERS. Original artwork by Mike Luckieinstagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov