Dysfunctional Dialogue

The college buddies bring it again with more big laughs as we tell more wild stories and dig deeper into some other favorites. From an epic college introduction to self-made environmental hazards to the many joys of popcorn and ripping on friends, my buds and I have another great, fun-filled, chat. Enjoy!

Back with the ol' neighborhood crew, revisiting the chaos that somehow shaped us into functional adults. We talk about the mischief, the influence we had on each other, and how a group with a pretty wide age gap not only got along—but thrived. Another great chat with my brother and our friends!

This week I am joined again by my daughter (or her clone?) as we dive right into some really odd scenarios. We start with wondering what our world would look like if technology either stops working… or works a little too well. We continue with alternate universes, afterlives, mind reading, and the possibility that reality isn’t what it seems. It’s real a fun chat with some mind bending thoughts.

Mayhem and madness were the theme as I took a wild ride with my college buddies and re-surfaced some classic tales. With nickel drafts starting at 8am on St. Patrick’s day, what could go wrong? Well, quite a bit actually. From T-Boning a cop car (without a car) to award winning hurling to gleefully singing while a friend threatens to end our lives… it's both wonderful and terribly foolish adventures of our College Daze.

Laughing again with the ol’ neighborhood crew as we revisit the highly questionable influence the older guys had on the younger, the mischievous sleepover nights where very little sleeping happened and the inherent dangers of being young and bold while working “security”.

Which would you give up? Your sense of sight or sound, if given that hard choice? Well, we had a revelation and your opinion may change after sitting in with my son, John, and I. Come join us as we ride a conversational roller coaster between fun “would you rather” questions and full-blown, light-hearted, philosophical discussions.

Back with three friends from my college days, and the stories did not disappoint. We revisit a prank that escalated beyond our control, a canoe incident driven by “efficiency,” and a drinking game that had unfortunate consequences. Plus, a couple stories in the legend of one bigger-than-life friend that made us both terribly uncomfortable and wonderfully delighted.

What if the chance of unimaginable wealth came with the risk of a terrible life-altering cost? Would you take that chance? My son and I try to make sense of it all and discover that sometimes the most ridiculous questions reveal the greatest truths and strangest oddities. In this Black Mirror-type scenario, somewhere between philosophy and absurdity, we discover that a “win-win” might not be as simple as it sounds.

This week’s episode was a bit of an editing adventure with four guests joining me—but it was worth every second. My brother and a few of our childhood friends stopped by to relive the stories from our pre-teen and teenage years. We laughed our way through the memories of the riotous transition from innocent kids to slightly more raucous and reckless versions of ourselves.

Joined by my son, John, we begin with a discussion about preserving life’s memories and quickly find ourselves in a series of Twilight Zone-style questions about privacy, memory, and the cost of having your entire life documented. A great discussion which ranged from reflective to surreal to thought-provoking and downright hilarious.

This week, my longtime neighborhood crew returns as we laugh our way through the lessons learned of What Not To Do when corrupting each other growing up. Organized sports, school mornings, family dinners and concerts were all placed in jeopardy by poor decisions and terribly hysterical timing. The picture of how it all helped mold us becomes more clear, however blurry it may have been along the way.

This week, my daughter joins me as we wander straight into the wonderfully ridiculous side of hypothetical thinking. Together, we weigh the social cost of viral embarrassment, the awkward physics of public composure, and the deeply unsettling idea of existing on paper while being suddenly unknown to everyone including our loved ones. Naturally, we laugh far more than we solve anything. Logic was invited, but rarely showed up.

Three childhood neighborhood friends join me this week as we dust off old memories and immediately realize that it’s a miracle we all made it to adulthood. Same block, same chaos, only this time the scrapes were inside our heads as we jolted each other with funny memories that we can all relate to.

On this episode, a longtime friend and I laugh our way through billion-dollar coin flips that involve missing limbs, missing senses, accelerated aging, and permanent facial changes. Is the money worth it? Well, the laughs certainly were. Enjoy!

This week, my daughter joins me for a hilariously spirited test of the limits of logic, morality, and vanity. We laugh our way through billion-dollar coin flips with truly unacceptable consequences, emotional reactions at the worst possible moments, and discover just how quickly money stops feeling worth it.

This week, my brother and our childhood friend are back and we get even more ridiculous. Join us as we laugh our way through the creative games and competitions that defined our youth and helped shape our lives. They were fun, imaginative, and occasionally hovering on the edge of the law, though mostly harmless.

This week, my former college roommate joins me, again, to unpack the glory and guilt of youthful stupidity. We talk about testing a friend’s head strength, derailing a football captain’s big moment, and nearly being escorted out of a Super 8 after creating what could have been described as a crime scene. Laughs were had. Regret followed. Wisdom came much later … or maybe will eventually.

This week, my high school friend and I relive our wild days and nights, including Ski Club exploits and our mutual appreciation of The Who in concert. From front-row fortune to highly questionable seating strategies, we talk about being terribly bleary-eyed after days of partying. The music kept ringing, and learned the fun way what happens when you party for days and still show up for class.

This week, my brother and our neighborhood friend join me to relive the wild, snowy chaos of our childhood. Hop on with us as we revisit a time when snow days meant freedom, danger, and deeply questionable decisions. No helmets. No plans. Just cold hands, crazy adventures and big laughs. Enjoy!

He’s still in Witness Protection. Same anonymous guest. Same questionable judgment. We revisit college chaos, bond over growing up broke, and uncover the exact moment a man enthusiastically agrees to lose anything. Some convictions are eternal. Some are anatomical. Join us in Witness Protection, Part 2. titled "Bendy?"

This week, I’m joined by a high school friend I hadn’t seen in decades as we exhume our Catholic school years. Unruly students and discipline that crossed into legend along with cheating plans so overengineered they accidentally turned into studying. Education through madness … and irony. Enjoy!

The conversation got even funnier - having an outright blast with my brother Jim and our old neighborhood friend Pete. Join us as we revisit the creative money making schemes and other wild and unbelievable moments from our very Dysfunctional Neighborhood.

This week, my college roommate, Brian Smith, re-joins me as we revisit the glorious chaos of our younger years—stories so ridiculous a friend once declared our continued childish behavior to be… Eternal. And honestly? He wasn’t wrong.

This week’s guest has been relocated… to our studio. For his protection (and maybe yours), he’s entered our Witness Protection Program. We’re hiding his face, his name, and possibly even his dignity. Protecting the innocent — or maybe, the not so innocent — while revealing everything else.

The energy and laughter really picked up steam in Part 2, "War Games", with Jim and Pete as we re-live some of the stupidest and hilarious moments of our lives. Regrettable?...well, maybe, but all too often it's the stupid that shapes us! Come join us on this week's Dysfunctional Dialogue for an inside look at the molding of three lives.

The doors open. The surreal is now real. And somewhere between absurdity and enlightenment… we find ourselves laughing in the madness. This week, please join my sister Erin and I on Dysfunctional Dialogue: “The Tie That Binds”. Two siblings, two choices, too much fun.

This week, Brian Smith and I relive the chaos and stupidity — from canoe football to campfire explosions, run-ins with the law, and a storm that nearly turned our camping trip into a rescue mission. It’s an action-comedy movie we somehow survived… mostly through luck, laughter, and highly questionable decision-making.

They say you can’t go back — but this week, we did ... as my brother Jim, his best friend Pete, and I took a wild ride back to the glory days — when freedom came with no brakes. We’re talking high school adventures, neighborhood legends, and the infamous blue van that definitely had no business being on the road.

This week on Dysfunctional Dialogue, my guest, Erin McParland, lives halfway between dreamland and doodle — where reality is hand-drawn and logic wears bright colors. She tells us how her beautiful, hysterical, cartoon-filled mind turned a dandelion wish into a hostage situation — and somewhere out there, someone’s still waiting for their dandelion miracle. Welcome to “The Dream Stealer”.

This week’s episode wasn’t planned — but neither were most of our best stories. My longtime friend and college roommate, Brian Smith, surprised me with a visit, so naturally, we hit record. We then turned decades of questionable decisions and late-night mischief into a podcast episode. The laughs are very real. The regret… mostly manageable.

This week, on Dysfunctional Dialogue, I’m joined by Vince August who’s seen both sides of judgment — literally. A former judge turned comedian, he talks about balancing the bench and the mic, and how “dying on stage” is the least dangerous thing compared to the things we did as kids.You may know Vince from some of his television guest appearances such as on #Gutfeld, his stand-up act or when he’s warming up the audience for #TheDailyShow. He’s not just a stand-up comedian, he’s a stand-up guy. I had never met Vince before but we instantly clicked — on “Jersey Justice”

Step inside, press a button, and prepare for the impossible… two siblings face the ultimate test of imagination as they step into an elevator where every floor leads to the impossible. Do you step into the childhood bedroom frozen in time? Or claim the deserted beach as your kingdom? Will you embrace the puppies… or climb into the dream treehouse? And when the doors open to an unthinkable choice - what do you do? 

Forget body spray - this week, we sample a new line of fictional sprays: Knowledge-in-a-Can, Extra Luck Mist, and the always-handy Instant Healing Fog. Warning: side effects may include overthinking and uncontrollable laughter. Our only problem? Deciding which magical can to crack open first. Come join my daughter Melissa McParland and I on this week’s Dysfunctional Dialogue.

For some reason, the more we drank, the more silly things became. Who would’ve guessed? Come join Steve Macaluso and I for a weekend mid-day drink-fest and enjoy the spectacle as things deteriorate along the way.

Some podcasts explore philosophy. Ours explores what happens when everyday activities sound suspiciously like pillow talk. This week is proof that if you listen closely enough, the entire world is one big innuendo. Yoga, gardening, painting, pool toys—no hobby is safe. Spoiler: it gets weird fast. Enjoy, again, with guests Debbie McParland and Steve Macaluso!

Have you ever mistaken things said at the dentist or gym for things happening in the bedroom? Well, we sure hope not. But if you do, this episode might shine a light on that and more. Join me with great friend Steve Macaluso and my beautiful wife Debbie as we get downright silly with innuendos and more.

Friendship isn’t built on compliments—it’s built on brutal honesty, absurd jokes, and taking shots at each other. We’ve got all three covered this week as we laugh, roast, and we remind each other of fun and embarrassing moments. After all, that’s what friends are for. Join me for some fun with my wife Debbie and my good friend Bill Schories.

My wonderful wife Debbie and longtime friend Bill Schories join me for a ride that starts with production disasters, slides into college flashbacks, and ends up in a game of innuendo-filled one-liners. This week’s episode is proof that the detours are where the real fun lives.

Pulling back the curtain and rewinding to the embarrassing and mischievous events of our youth including the time my romantic gesture got confiscated, a school ‘break-in’ was rewarded with academic improvements, and The Kiss with a Twist. Oh … and apparently, our marriage is now just a job! Please join my wife and I on “My Future Wife”, as we rip off the bandage on some awkward moments, discuss a fool-proof way to quit smoking and rehash some fun times beginning way back in 7th grade.

We’ve made peace with the fact that life is ridiculous — and death might be, too. This week, we swap stories of our low-budget childhood, dabble with the supernatural, and discover that a drunken Ouija board is less a portal to the other side and more a comedy prop. You are invited to lean in close, turn down the lights, and follow a conversation that wanders between the ludicrous and the mysteries of the afterlife. You’ll laugh. You’ll shiver. And when it’s over… you just might look over your shoulder.

Some questions don’t need answers and others should be avoided entirely. Of course…that didn’t stop us! Come join me with my sister Erin, as we take a wonderfully immature and hilarious stroll down the hypothetical hallway.

Warning: Opinions May Not Be Vetted. In this week’s episode of Dysfunctional Dialogue, meet Jacob Carriero, “The Lone Sane Man”, who has proven that confidence often outruns reality. Come enjoy the person who boldly mistook wild guesses for gospel truth with the confidence of a child and the certainty of a prophet. You may know him… but not by his real name. This exceptional young man doesn’t just think outside the box - he sometimes denies the box even exists. All Hail the logically illogical Oracle.

In a world where common sense took a backseat… two kids armed with nothing but a cardboard box, a questionable mattress, and a dream, dared to defy gravity – and basic safety.This week, we dive headfirst (sometimes literally) into our reckless youth and also tackle some unsettling “would you rathers” – like choosing between a frayed bungee cord or a parachute full of holes, and whether you'd rather record the world with your eyes or your ears… forever.It’s ridiculous. It’s reckless. It’s a great time!Now streaming here on Spotify ... and wherever poor decisions are podcasted. Joined again with Steve Macaluso!

Peanut butter & beef jerky. Pasta & ketchup. Cigars & cheese puffs. The culinary crimes are real - and so is Cousin Clash Pt. 2. Continuing the nonsense where we left off with Melissa McParland and Olivia Carriero

What do toxic cookies, getting “Ape’d” and fake pharmaceuticals have in common? Just your average day in our family.In this episode of Dysfunctional Dialogue “Cousin Clash”, I’m joined by my daughter Melissa McParland and niece Olivia Carriero as we dive into the absurd, the nostalgic, and the wildly inappropriate tales of childhood chaos.Hear about the time a terribly unfortunate tattoo had to be rebranded as an olive branch (for reasons you’ll soon understand), the cookie recipe that nearly turned into a chemical weapon, and the fake pharmaceutical ad for a drug called Pig Bladder—side effects may include uncontrollable snorting and existential confusion. The kind of family stories you only share under legal immunity … or on a podcast.

In a world where mind reading is painful…One dungeon holds too many secrets…And pants... are no longer just for legs… some chaotic early episodes give birth to something dysfunctional, something… unforgettable. From the makers of “How to Treat a Date” and “Half-Baked” comes a mash-up no one asked for— "Best Bits: The Early Days"

Old friends, forgotten tales, and college stories that should’ve stayed buried... But We Hit ‘Record’ Instead! Join us, as Mike Esposito and I pick up the fun, right where we left off in Part 1, and continue to pry open the dusty memory drawers and joined for a bit on an odd shopping trip with Brian Smith.

Some memories are too funny - or too ridiculous - not to resurface. In this episode, three college buddies crack open dusty mental drawers unearthing forgotten tales of chaos, poor decisions, an international incident and an unusual fondness for dumpster slime. Join me for a great conversation with Mike Esposito and Brian Smith!

Three friends. Many drinks. Zero filters. This marmot maelstrom is the kind of discussion that makes you wonder: “Should I be laughing at this?” (Answer: Absolutely!) Join me, along with Steve Macaluso and Steve Aselta, for a beer-fueled, hiss-laughing, banter that you should probably not play at work…or around pets. From light-hearted fun memories to a new meaning for a Frosty and a Santa joke so lewd it might get him banned from the North Pole.

Busted by the cops. Will they get locked up or get away scot-free? Join me as my wonderful daughter Melissa and I discuss some of our brushes with the law and muse over hot wet garbage day and other charms of NYC.