Family Constellation Guy

If someone takes their own life in a family, it can have massive long term consquences within (and without) the family system. Teenage children may feel responsible, or fell divided loyalties, blame or shame. A constellation will uncover the hidden dynamics and demonstrate powerfully that the consequences only belong where they should be - not with a loving child sibling or partner, who may feel they "deserve" to carry that burden even though it is not theirs to carry. This episode my seem a bit harsh if this is close to home, but I urge you to persevere!!

All of us have old trauma stuck in our systems smewhere. The question is what can we do about it? and how can we find out what it is. Well ther brain has a fantastic set of tools to distance us from immediate trauma experience, and bury it. And the Family Constellation is a fantatsic set of tools to elicit that information and reference where in your family system that it belongs. As soon as you see where it belongs you no longer have access to the feeling of that trauma, only the knowledge that it exists!

The Rafe Nauen Academy is hosting another Family Constellation Therapy training on 7th/8th Febraury 2026 and this episode is all about whats new! If you expect to be a bit tired, because we are packing in quite a lot of information to help you get quickly to the nub of any issues your clients friends or family have. The training is accredited and certificated and I am assured that insurance companies are happy to add in the certificate to your current Public Liability insurance I offer stage payments if you need that and It will be a fun weekend too.  

As the earth moves us into 2026 it is often a time to reflect on the year past. I recommend going a bit further back, and perhaps reflecting on the things we have picked up out of blunt loyalty. Those things are easy to deal with - of course I recommend Family Constellation Therapy, but other therapies are very capable too!

Sometimes we get told things in early life that stay with us for life. This episode is about some of the starting points for releasing those injuctions, and finding our freedom

This episode explains how it is worthwhile doing just 2 days training in constellation work, some of what you will learn and how the training operates.

I have written a little story based on true facts that gives an insight into the sort of journey hany of the participants ina  Family Constellation workshop will go through. Clara (name changed) presented with an issue around repeating patterns in her journey through life. The constellation helped to unpick that thread!

At Rafe Nauen Academy I teach the constellation model to coaches, trainers, healers, therapists, counsellors, psychologists and others. The 2 day workshop is designed to add to the work you already do, not replace any of it. You will get and accredited certificate, and you'll be able to add it to your repertoire immediately

This episode explores the subject of epigenetics in terms of its impact on the listener from all the ancestral load up to now!

Rafe Nauen Academy launches - this episode explains what it does, and why. It will give you an idea of what to expect and how it would help your own practice especially if you are a therapist or healer.  We pick up influences (epigenetics) on the whole route of our journey. Some of those things will be amazing (the gift of life) and some will be far less useful. Family Constellations therapy gives you the tools to reassign those influences so that they all serve you better

When we go for psychotherapy we believe the expert in the room is the practitioner - after all they have spent years studying and practicing. The constellation model is different. The client has ALL the data for the journey to this moment - even the thousands of years before they were born. The job of the facilitator is to tease out the nuances and hidden dynamics so that they come into clear sight without any prejudice or judgement.   

What happens, and why would you want to go to a family constellation workshop? This episode explores some of the whys and wherefores that suggest a Constellation may help you to live life more easily, without the burdens of the past

Following on from the Netflix series Another Self - a Turkish series about family drama with a constellation in each episode. Rafe Nauen has been running constellation workshops for over 20 years and this series exemplifies the modality.   This episode explains what is going, a bit of the how, and a bit of the why!

We all hide some stuff! but in this episode I recognise that sometimes that can lead to holding values that hurt us or our families, and that the Family Constellatiuon model can help us safely review all that "stuff"

In this episode, Rafe explores the often-asked question: What is a constellation, and why would someone choose to do one? Through personal insight and professional experience, Rafe unpacks the profound impact of inherited emotional patterns—those invisible threads passed down through generations that shape our lives in unexpected ways. From feelings of not being good enough to repeating relationship struggles, we often carry burdens that aren't truly ours. Family Constellations offer a respectful and revealing way to bring these hidden dynamics to light. Rafe explains how this process works, what participants can expect, and how unresolved ancestral experiences—like early deaths, miscarriages, or unspoken grief—can echo through our lives until they are acknowledged and integrated. Whether you're curious about systemic healing, or wondering how your past might be influencing your present, this episode offers a compassionate and eye-opening introduction to the transformative power of constellations.

It turns out that the precursor cells for male sperm and female eggs can carry significant epigenetic coding on the noncode parts of DNA from 2 or three generations. The egg is complete by the time the mother is born, but the male precursor cells don't start producing sperm till after puberty, and therefore any traumatic experience of the long male may get included in the epigenetic elements by the time the sperm is created. It takes about 4-6 weeks for sperm to be made from precursor cells so, any traumas along the way can get added in, whereas in the female, the precursor cells are redundant by 5 months into the mother's pregnancy

Sometimes we grow up with big chunks of stuff missing, like being seen, or the feeling of love. What sometimes happens is that a symptom, or disease becomes the definition and empathy and sympathy from others appears as a poor relation to love. That can keep us ill - the term secondary gain means the added value to your feeling of life from being dis-eased or ill.

If you were adopted, you have at least 3 parents - and possibly many more! Epigentics teaches us that parenthood is laregly driven by epigenetics not just DNA (I share 60% of my DNA with a banana but little or no epigenetics) So if you were adopted, see ALL of the parents as just that - Parents Epigenetics covers the signals and proteins that every cell, and structure receives. The signals and proteins dictate how the cell develops and changes. Many adopted children feel they need to choose - they do not!

The parenting of children is a complex business and adopted children may have a number of actual parents - not DNA driven, but epigenetically driven. Thus children sometimes look more like their adoptive parents than their birth parents. Strange but true.

You may find you have contracted to be a certain way, have a certain personality for your whole life - even inadvertently - this is a method to extract yourself from those contracts!

Who can you trust? - My belief is that the only person who you need to trust 100% is yourself. Everything else, everyone else is a compromise. And never forgive anyone! - Just hand whatever it is back to them! - listen the Ho'oponopono podcast - asking for forgiveness is a very different matter 

Many things have changed since I was born, and some we are in control of and like, and some we are not and don't!  Many many neuro diverse people found out late in life that they were ND because up to then they had been masking. So what are the bits of being a human being as opposed to a human doing that have affected you, and what bits do you still need to hand back because they never really belonged to you!

When someone close dies, the emotions range from sadness, anger, hate, anxiety, shame, guilt, and last but not least relief! What to do if all you feel is relief - listen in!

As we move into another year, I am refelcting oin some of the core beliefs I was brought up with and seeing how even the negative ones have helped me with life's journey

I periodically run training weekends and the sort of feedback I get is "Following the training weekend I have found myself being more curious about the hidden dynamics in all sorts of situations and gaining a better understanding of what might be going on "behind the scenes". It aims to enable a therapist or coach for example to simple enter their clients ancestral field to help them establish where some of the hidden dynamics they have inherited, belong. If you have a group of therapists etc who would like to train, I am very happy to travel to work in your space. I also set weekends up in Derby

rafe.website/contact.asp?frm_id=podcast&wks_id=rafe.websiteIf something has happened in life that makes you want to re-evaluate, then I recommend the Zero Budget! Its starting from scratch - what do I need in my life right now? and that question will revela the difference between how you are and how you want to be. If that means dealing with the hidden dynamics, call me!

What can we do when we get triggered by certain events or even words? We can continually find something takes us back to a trauma in the past - even decades or more, and we find ourselves hurt (again) or upset. This episode asks you to challenge the triggers, or do some work on what started it all off in the first place. Family Constellation Therapy is fantastic at underpinning current experience to past events and enabling a simple understanding of where things belong.

We have 2 memory stores, cognitive and body/cell. How do we assess which one is dominant? How do we validate?  

dna tests can reveal uncomfortable secrets sometimes, so I urge you look at the whole family system too! Go ahead with the test BUT I recommend doing a constellation alongside it!

We inherit stuff!! we all do - form the generations behind us, and some may be unknown in our cognitive thinking brain, but is certainly not unknown in our body. Putting that "stuff" back where it belongs relieves us of the burden we have thusfar carried. If you need to contact me, go to https://rafe.website and click Contact

When we imagine our mum or dad we run the risk of overlaying the image of perfection - the textbook version, or archetype. The Constellation model enables us to visit the story and see where the stuff that has formed us belongs - sometimes we get to see that things/ideas/beliefs that we have held all our lives, are nothing like the person we actually are. So then we can drop the archetype and beging a journey of our own making - safe, positive and fruitful

What does DNA do, and how does epigenetics change all that? This episode looks at how we can modify our experience of chronic illness using Zero Budgetting and it also looks at the role of epigentics in the creation of cells.

I get asked if the issue the client wants to present can be done as a constellation? My answer is always to see if the issue is systemic. A headache from drinking too much is not systemic, but why you got drunk in the first place might have roots in your family system!

After a discussion I decided to see what ChatGPT (AI) had to say about the work I do in the field of Family Constellations and Intergenerational Trauma. Perhaps surporisingly it knew who I was, and what it says seems actually pretty on the ball, so I thought I'd pop it in here!  

Why Constellation work?The constellation model allows you to get a perspective on some of the things that we all carry with us, prejudices, attitudes, etc. It shows you where they came from, and hence, where they belong. Enabling yourself to free up the space to true to yourself, rather than to elsewhere in the system, can be enormous! Take a look at the testimonials on my hub website - rafe.website

Many peoples around the world have a similar process to the Hawaiians - Ho'oponopono. Pono means being ALL right with the world you inhabit - ponopono just doubles the strength! and the Ho'o means getting to it. The four sentences are I'm Sorry Please forgive me Thank you I Love you and they are there to be often repeated to help you get to being alright with your world on every level. This podcast gives some clues on how it might be used!

See the countries of your origin as representatives in a constellation showed me a whole host of possibilities! Honouring our pasts, however difficult is pretty important - if we are standing here in 2024 we survived whatever vicissitudes that befell our past  (love that word!), and some simple honouring techniques can resolve a ton of grief!

This is a short hypnotherapeutic tape to help you sleep - I know a lot of people struggling at this time to fully relax and engage with what their body needs.

This week I am exploring what a parent is? What are the rules, and how have they changed for you?

How to be entirely grateful for the life your mum gave you, but anything that doens't fit with you - hand it back! The Constellation model gives a brilliant way of leaving stuff that isn't really you somewhere other than with you!!

Talking about how Intergenerational projection of gender bias can affect us, and give some simple tools for correcting any side effects of that bias

This week thinking about what it is that I offer that is different - what is my Brand? I get requests to work from all over the world - last week Romania on the Black Sea coast, this week Canada. All online (alas) but it made me wonder what it is that is different that I offer? Surely, especially after the put downs I had as a kid, no-one really wants what I have to offer? Well I got over that one many years ago!

A workshop can show you the things you have been carrying, perhaps all your life. It can show you the loyalties that underpin that, and enable you to see where those aspects belong - and no longer with you! The feedback we get from workshops is amazing. Next workshop is this Sunday in York at the Hot Yoga studio Links at https://rafe.website

When we experience a mix of senses - hearing colours. or smelling music, thats full blown synesthesia, but what if we experience the collective subconscious? What if the grief of the world at this time preys on our own feeling of wellbeing? Many people experience a feeling of pain when they are near someone in pain, or they feel others grief. Well, thats what this weeks episode is about

In 2010 I did a constellation which took me into being chair of DHAdvice.org by 2014 RBS had cost the charity an extra £516,000 over the previous few years after the RBS crash of 2008. Instead of taking them to court, we managed to get them into a meeting in Parliament with our MP Chris Williamson. On the way to the meeting I saw a poster of a gorilla and thought nothing of it. Listen in and you'll find out how it went!!

There are many different sizes and shapes of trauma - but knowing what thy are, where they fit, and what beloings to you can rapidly speed up your healing process. Make contact and get some help! www.family-constellations.co.uk  

Sometimes (wellmeaning or otherwise) you get told you were a mistake, or should have been a boy (or girl) This episode explores the psychology from a Family Constellation perspective to enable you to relieve that "never been good enough" feeling