Getting Kinky, with Phylystyne

For those unfamiliar with The Hero's Journey, it is the structure that almost all myth, legend and fiction follows. And it applies to many things in life, but BDSM has its own particular take on it, for both Dom and sub. What is the Hero's Journey, and how do we learn from it in BDSM?In other episodes we will come back to this, and look at ways the steps result in failure, and what to do about it, but for this episode, let's be positive and think of it as a successful journey...Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

Father Time does a number on us all, so how do we remain positive kinksters as we get older, and bodies don't look, work or feel like they used to?Kink, sex and emotion are all affected by time and age, so navigating that for a positive outcome becomes the challenge.Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

Orgasms. Aren't they fun?Now, what happens when we surrender control of them to someone else?In this episode we explore orgasm control in many of its forms, from edging to forced orgasms, chastity to squirting. And look at why surrender of control is so potent, for both Dom and sub.Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

Consensual non-consent.Fun, challenging, potentially emotionally devastating, what we are doing here is playing with fear and power. In any other circumstances the law would be getting involved, but we are making this consensual, so what does that mean? How does it work? Why do we do it?Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

Oh, who doesn't love a bit of impact play? From over the knee spanking to Florentining floggers, hitty things offer a massive range of ways to explore, and for a Dom to leave their mark...Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

How do you know if a new potential partner is safe to play with? We look at vetting, what red flags look like, what beige flags might mean, and what happens when you meet someone who skirts past your careful vetting technique.And what about them? Are they vetting you appropriately? Is their vetting a red flag?How to navigate the minefield that is getting to know someone and decide if they are a suitable person to play with...Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

New Relationship Energy (NRE), limerence, infatuation... getting into a new thing with a new person is intense! Brain chemistry changes, moods are affected, exhilaration abounds.But that's a potent, heady mix, and can be addictive.Not to mention the effect on behaviours with your existing partners.Should we shy away from that exciting headspace? Can we manage it sensibly? How do we balance the thrill of the new with being consistent with your existing relationships, and how do we manage to avoid the addiction of newness?Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

The B in BDSM. And it covers such a wide variety of things, so here's an introduction to all things Bondage, of which we will delve into detail in future episodes.So, blindfolds, hoods, gags, cuffs, restraints, and then all manner of rope... the possibilities are almost endless, as are the effects of restraint on sub and Dom.Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

This whole SM part of BDSM; what does that all mean? What does it mean to be a Sadist? Or indeed a Masochist?As your venerable host is indeed a Sadist, expect several episodes on this theme, starting with an overview of what sadism is about, not just the application of pain, but the playing with a submissive's mind as well... welcome, to My quirky little corner of kink!Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

Well done if you recognised the quote from Roxanne, you're officially as old as Me.A break from the fundamentals, to get into a kink I really enjoy; erotic hypnosis.What is it? Can anyone be hypnotised? How does it work? What's it for?These and other questions will be answered - or maybe you'll just think they have been - and please, don't drive for the last bit, a guided hypnosis example...Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

Endings are shit. But they happen.Whether it's a one-time thing, a brief encounter, a scene, a relationship, or somewhere in between, things end. So what does good, mediocre and crap look like in an ending?From ghosting to relationship aftercare, how we end things says a lot about us and our ethics. So let's take a look at the end of things, and try to be better about them.Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

It's not cheating, but what does ENM look like?What forms do honest open relationships take?Jealousy and compersion - what are they, and are they really opposites?And how do we tell when either jealousy or compersion is a positive or a negative emotion?Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

When we have Rules - or any other form of structure to the dynamic - and one of those Rules gets broken, what are the consequences? Does it matter the nature of the infraction? Does every consequence have to be po-faced and serious?Join Me as we explore how punishments and discipline can be expressed in different ways, and what the headspace of punishment is like for both sides of the D/s slash.Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

OK, we have looked at protocol, but how is protocol implemented? And what about how behaviour is directed? Well, Rules are the basis of structure for the dynamic. But what do we mean by a Rule? What does it govern? What's the scope, context and meaning for them?Yes, I capitalise Rule. And I commit a lot of other crimes against grammar, too, as you'll know from previous episodes. Sorry not sorry.But Rules and the rituals that accompany them are how the dynamic - especially in the early days - gets a structure, a shape, and a meaning. Sexual and non-sexual, private and public. And sometimes, even across groups of like-minded kinky folks. Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

Ah, the BDSM collar; who doesn't want to earn one? But what do they really signify? are there different types? (yes)And collars are only functional in the context of protocol, so let's have a dive into what protocol is all about, why it can and sometimes does make sense, and what all that Sir and Ma'am stuff is all about.Protocol is a kink all of its own, but is also a tool for establishing the power dynamic. And like all tools, it needs to be used the right way.Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

In this episode, we look at the archetypes that submissives present as. Not a one-size-fits-none, most actual people will blend some of these in how they are. But the archetypes give us a map to understand responses, reactions, behaviours, and the headspace that they are seeking from the Dom and from the dynamic.Submissive archetypes, then, and how to identify, engage with and deliver a positive outcome for them. Well, a positive outcome for that aspect of them, at least... because in the real world a submissive will always be more complicated than that!Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

D/s can be a language between two people, so what are the dialects that might be in place, and how do those nuances impact the perception and experience of that dynamic?In this episode we delve into the various shapes and models for D/s, and look at the different headspaces that can be engendered through those different models in practice.Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

Episode 4 ended as the scene came to a close, so now it's time for aftercare. Fundamental, but not everyone needs the same level, so what does good look like?Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

So, negotiations and preparation have been done, and it's time to think about what happens in the scene. What planning needs to take place? Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

Better safe(word) than sorry...Consent isn't just a simple yes, and when things go awry, it's always better to be prepared. Join Me as we look at getting ready to scene by understanding consent, setting the right safeword, and being prepared for when the unexpected happens.Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

Yay, we want a Ds dynamic, and we even found someone to do it with!Now what?This episode looks at how to negotiate the bounds and structures of the dynamic. What negotiation is - and isn't - and how to shape that potential.Got a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!

Welcome. In this first episode, we look at what this podcast is all about, and cover some of the basics of BDSM dynamicsGot a comment, question or idea? Let Me know!