Girl, Listen to This!

A seat at your table is not a birthright; it has to be earned. It can also be reconsidered. Let's talk about it this episode.Continue the conversation at girllisten2this.wordpress.com/community .

In this episode I'm talking about why other people's no — whether it comes at you loudly or quietly, through commands or just a look — is not the law of your life. I also want to name something real: for Black women in this country, compliance wasn't just a habit we picked up. It was a survival strategy we inherited. That's worth sitting with.Continue the conversation at https://girllisten2this.wordpress.com/community/

In this episode I talk about the boxes some of us were handed early on, the real gifts that were inside them, and the very real grief that comes when the promises they made don't pan out. And I talk about what I believe is true: that living as yourself, without performance and without apology, is one of the most generous things you can do -- for yourself and for everyone around you.Continue the conversation at https://girllisten2this.wordpress.com/community/.

You're riding home feeling grateful, saying thank you to the universe for meeting your needs -- and then it hits you. Isn't that exactly what people do when they thank God for sparing their house while their neighbor's is flattened? In this episode, we sit with survivor's guilt, worthiness, and what it really means to hold gratitude and grief at the same time -- when nobody's running the grid and we have to decide what we're going to do about it.Continue the conversation at🎙️https://girllisten2this.wordpress.com/community/

What if you've been resilient this whole time and just didn't know it? In this episode, I share a conversation that completely changed the way I see myself and resilience. We're letting go of the "bounce back" myth and looking at the quiet, everyday ways you're already showing up for yourself.🎙️ girllisten2this.wordpress.com

The idea of being the "bigger person" has been weaponized to silence survivors. In this episode, Lotus describes how this concept can be reframed.Join the conversation at ⁠⁠⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com/community/ .

For some of us, knowing someone is disappointed in us or having someone harshly criticize us can color our sense of our own worth or ability. But we need not and should not define ourselves according to the people who have a low opinion of us.Join the conversation at ⁠⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com/community/⁠.

It can be challenging to walk the tightrope between wanting to be rescued from life's challenges and wanting to never depend on anyone ever again. But that is part of the work of being a well-adjusted adult.Join the conversation at ⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com/community/⁠.

I grew up singing hymns like "I'll Fly Away" and feeling inspired by the promise of a better future after death. But while I still enjoy this song for the nostalgic feelings it stirs in me, I have reevaluated what role this hymn should play in my approach to life.Join the conversation at ⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com/community/⁠.

Gospel music was the soundtrack of Lotus' life well into adulthood. But as she has evolved in recent years she found herself reevaluating whether it could fit into her life at all.Join the conversation at girllisten2this.wordpress.com.

In the grand scheme of things, it may seem as though you don't matter much. But for the people in your life, what you do matters a great deal.Learn more about this podcast and join the mailing list at girllisten2this.wordpress.com.

The times when it feels like your world is on fire are when you most need to make time to stop, breathe, and ground yourself. That pause can help you get in touch with the hope you need to keep going. Learn more about the podcast at girllisten2this.wordpress.com.

When you have a strong sense of self, you are less likely to allow other people to project their lazy assumptions onto you.Learn more about the podcast at girllisten2this.wordpress.com.

When we are grieving we need to surround ourselves with people who can hold space for us in our pain without rushing the process. Lotus discusses the importance of that in this episode.Visit girllisten2this.wordpress.com for more information about the podcast.

Lotus discusses the power in keeping her "crash outs" private.Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

Have you ever felt like you had to continue to give someone chance after chance to get to know you, even after it was clear there are significant areas of incompatibility between you and them? In this episode, Lotus assures listeners it is perfectly fine to walk away and explains why it is important to do so.Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

Lotus shares about going from needing outside validation to feeling secure in the validity of her spiritual journey/calling without validation from "official" spiritual channels.Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

American society tends to glorify youthfulness and gradually dismisses women over the age of 35. But in this episode Lotus discusses why she prefers being an adult at her current age rather than pining for her younger years.Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

Lotus shares her journey back to hope and how having hope improved her life.Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

In this episode, Lotus encourages you to start where you are and use whatever you have at your disposal to make steps towards your dreams, rather than waiting until everything is "perfect".Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

Black women in America are socialized to give ourselves very little, if any, grace. In this episode Lotus talks about what giving ourselves grace looks like and why it is important for our well-being.⁠⁠⁠Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

Do you go through life thinking every bad thing that happens to you is a punishment? This week Lotus talks about growing up believing that, how it affected her, and how she adopted a healthier mindset.⁠⁠⁠Visit ⁠⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

In this episode Lotus defines what it means to think highly of yourself and discusses why it is important for us to do so as Black women.⁠⁠⁠Visit ⁠⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

This is a post-inauguration check-in where Lotus shares how she is dealing with the bad behavior happening in Washington, DC.⁠⁠⁠Visit⁠girllisten2this.wordpress.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

In this episode, Lotus discusses what forgiveness is not and clarifies what forgiveness actually is. ⁠⁠⁠Visit girllisten2this.wordpress.com⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

In this episode I talk about how I am finding my way through a period where I often feel lost. ⁠⁠Visit our website⁠⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

Though our conditioning for instant gratification may convince us otherwise, small steps over time are what will help us achieve our goals. ⁠Visit our website⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

Because of guilt and shame, it can be challenging to plainly name your painful experiences and emotions. But doing so allows you to break the curse and heal. Visit our website to learn more about the podcast.

I was conditioned to wait for other people's permission to live my life. In this episode I talk about the effect learned helplessness had on me and how I am thankfully unlearning it.

It's important that as we search for meaning and a sense of reverence in our own lives that we avoid appropriating spiritual, religious, and cultural practices that are not ours.

I have always been moved by the idea of a contemplative religious life in spite of being raised in a religious tradition that did not leave much space for quiet contemplation. This is how I have managed to incorporate contemplation into my life in ways that are meaningful for me, even as an atheist.

The holiday season is upon us, and the social interactions during this time of year can be very stressful. In this episode we talk about ways to reduce our stressors and navigate the holidays in ways that are meaningful for us.

Ronni Davis is a YA author with two novels under her belt: "When the Stars Lead to You", and "This Night Is Ours", both published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. She joins us this episode to talk about her journey from childhood storyteller to published author. Learn more about her and her novels at https://ronnidavis.com.

It's normal to dream of the kind of lives our loved ones will live. But when they choose paths and experiences that may be wildly different, we can feel massive disappointment. In this episode I talk about letting go of my dreams for other people's lives.

Words of compassion in the wake of the 2024 election in the United States.

Becoming your own parent, or reparenting, is a process where you can heal inner wounds from childhood. It has been an important part of my healing journey and could help you too. If you want to learn more about reparenting, you can start with this article on Positive Psychology entitled "Reparenting: Seeking Healing for Your Inner Child".

Many women are conditioned to believe focusing on their needs instead of giving their all to everyone else is selfish. In this episode we talk about why focusing on yourself is an important part of self-preservation.

Before a teacher shared this gem of wisdom with me, I spent most of my life feeling as though life just happened to me. Adopting the viewpoint he shared with me helped me reclaim my sense of agency over my life.

My name, Lotus, is different from the name I was given at birth and holds special meaning for me. In this episode I share where my name came from and what it means.

Ursula Renée has published several historical fiction novels set in the early to mid-twentieth century. In this episode she shares a little bit about her writing journey and what she hopes people get from her writing. You can learn more about her and her novels at www.ursularenee.com.

Whenever I fail at something I feel as though I have also failed as a person. But a friend's wise words helped me see failure in a more positive light.

Have you ever felt as though you don't belong where you are? I've felt that way as a Black woman in the United States for most of my adulthood, until a trip to Ellis Island changed my mind.

It is ironic that leaving Christianity freed me to more perfectly follow the teachings of Christ. ⁠Visit our website⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

Everyone who has left Christianity has their own story of how and why they made that decision. This is mine. ⁠Visit our website⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

Many spaces for Black women assume everyone in the room is Christian and doesn't mind incorporating religious aspects into the gathering. But as a former preacher's kid who spent more than her fair share of time in Black Pentecostal circles, I now prefer spaces that are religion free. ⁠Visit our website⁠ to learn more about the podcast.

I grew up in a home where spanking was the norm. Even though I am fully anti-spanking now, I still laugh at some spanking stories. It's an interesting conundrum to both be against spanking and genuinely amused by it. ⁠Visit our website⁠ to learn more about the podcast.