Good Night, New York, I Love You: The Podcast

Sedona, Arizona is a place often associated with magic – which is perfect, really, considering today’s guest, Caitlin Westcott, is a spiritual, intuitive astrologer and tarot reader.Caitlin works under the name The Cosmic Counselor in Philadelphia, where she blends astrology and tarot through her signature Cosmic Cards system. Her work is all about helping people understand themselves, cultivate self-compassion, and build confidence as they move through life’s transformations and cycles. She shares weekly guidance through her substack and instagram under the handle @TheCosmicCounselor.In today’s episode, we’ll explore why she loves Sedona - and what this place taught her about herself, her spirituality, and her personal agency.If you enjoy this episode, please share it with others, and let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks for listening! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janemariehutcheson.substack.com

Today’s guest is Donny Roth, a professional ski guide who spent 25 years traveling the world and sharing skiing experiences with people who like to challenge themselves in the mountains.Although he’s guided skiers all over the Americas, Europe, Scandinavia and Asia, he has now settled at the base of one of his favorite areas of the Andes Mountains in Chile, which he’ll tell us about in today’s episode.We explore themes of connection with nature, the importance of adaptability, and the values of curiosity, humility, and self-reflection. Donny shares his personal journey of learning to live in harmony with his environment, embracing change, and finding fulfillment through stewardship of the land on which he now lives.This episode is for anyone who has fallen in love with a place because of its natural geographical features and wants to show care and love back to that place. It’s also for all you life-long learners out there, as Donny and I discuss how curiosity has shaped his experiences in the mountains.Also, if you’re a visual person, I highly recommend checking out the video format for today’s episode. I included some incredible photographs that Donny sent me that really enhance the conversation!If you enjoy this episode, please share it with others, and let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks for listening! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janemariehutcheson.substack.com

For this week’s episode of Good Night, New York, I Love You: The Podcast, I interviewed Danielle Oteri, an art historian, travel advisor, and writer. Danielle is an Italian-American who splits her time between New York and Naples, Italy. Her work comes from genuine relationships, rigorous research, and a deep connection to Italy through both sides of her family.In today’s episode, we dive into Naples and explore the connection to places where we are genetically linked. We also discuss the tension between loving two places and having two cities to call home.This episode is for anyone who loves Italy, loves learning about the history of cities around the world, and feels deeply connected to a place that their family – or ancestors – called home.You can connect with Danielle on substack, or you can explore her travel business and her own podcast about Italy called, “Danielle Oteri’s Italy.”If you enjoy this episode, please share it with others, and let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks for listening! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janemariehutcheson.substack.com

I’m excited to share with you all the third episode of “Good Night, New York, I Love You: The Podcast.” Today’s guest is Krupa Tailor, the founder of crer, a platform inspiring people and organizations to build trust through continuous cycles of learning and doing.She tells us about her love of Lisbon, which she discovered after years of living in New York. Krupa began exploring slower, more intentional rhythms of work and life in Lisbon, where movement, mindfulness, and connection became as essential as performance and productivity.Our conversation explores the ideas of change, experimentation, and finding home within yourself, no matter which place you find yourself. To hear more from Krupa, you can follow her business at @crertobelieve on Instagram. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janemariehutcheson.substack.com

I’m excited to share with you all the second episode of “Good Night, New York, I Love You: The Podcast.”Today's guest is Dr. Analeigh E. Horton, a writer, teacher, and traveler who studies how people use language and technology to connect with the world around them. She's an assistant professor of rhetoric and composition at Fairleigh Dickinson University. She's also a Fulbright alum, and she's taught in China, Mexico, Spain, the U.K., and across the U.S. Analeigh's work looks at how identity and culture shape the way we read, write, and communicate.In this episode, Analeigh and I explore the transformative power of travel. She talks about culture shock and the value of being open to new experiences. She shares stories from her own travels and emphasizes the significance of curiosity, resilience, and gratitude in nurturing our relationships with the places we visit.As always, you can watch the video here on substack, or you can watch on YouTube or listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. You can also find the transcript below.If you enjoy this episode, please share it with others, and let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks for listening!Thanks for reading Good Night, New York, I Love You! Subscribe for free to receive new posts + podcasts episodes and to support my work.Jane Marie: Analeigh, welcome to "Goodnight, New York, I love you." I'm so happy to have you as a guest.Analeigh: Thanks for having me.Jane Marie: Tell everyone how we are connected.Analeigh: Well, we wound up having the same favorite professor in college. And we did student government together.Years later, I wound up moving to the city and reached out to you as someone that I was like, "Hey, I haven't talked to you in forever, but I need a friend. Will you be mine?"We've been reconnected for the past two years. I just celebrated my full two year anniversary, starting year three here.Jane Marie: What's funny about you telling the story of us reconnecting: You reached out to me and you said, "I just moved to the New York area, and I'm looking for friends. Let's reconnect." And I think the first time we reconnected was at my Friendsgiving.Analeigh: It was, yeah.Jane Marie: To me, part of living in New York as someone who is not from here is being open to new people coming into your friend group at all times. Because people come and go from the city all the time. And I'm glad that you came in to my circle of friends.Analeigh: And what a quintessential moment to do that. I mean, if you've seen "Friends" the show, you know how important Thanksgiving is! So to have my first Thanksgiving in a New York apartment, yours was the first apartment I had been in, and to celebrate Thanksgiving, it was definitely something to check off the bucket list.Jane Marie: Let's dive right in. Tell me about a place that you love.Analeigh: Okay, so I was thinking really hard about this but can I say loving everywhere?Jane Marie: I love that.Analeigh: Because for me, there have been places that I've been to that I did absolutely instantly feel that, "Oh my gosh, I could move here," or, "holy cow, this nature is incredible!"Some places I have grown to love, and there have been some places that I really haven't enjoyed but have still appreciated the lessons that I've learned from being in those places.I certainly can't say I have enjoyed seeing concentration camps in Central and Eastern Europe. I can't say I enjoyed being on the DMZ stepping into the North Korean side of the United Nations hut, right? But it was an important moment. All of those were important moments for me to bear witness to, "These things are happening," and "What's my responsibility as a global citizen moving forward?"I really do love everywhere, even if it seems like places maybe don't deserve some love. Because even to go back to those two really drastic examples, North Koreans are still people who deserve love, and the people who perished in concentration camps are still worthy of being loved and honored and respected.I really do love everywhere. I've traveled to 35 countries, which for some, like me, is like, "Holy cow." Never thought that I would be there. Growing up, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina was exotic for our family. And to other people, 35 is barely a dent in the 196 countries that the UN recognizes.I really do love all of the places. And of course I have some favorites, so if you really need a specific place to fill in the blank, I really loved my experiences teaching in China. That was just a completely whole new world for me. I loved living in London for a semester, which we both did in college. Again, that was just opening a whole new world for me. The same with living in Spain.As far as the U.S. goes, I've lived in five different states at this point. I feel like I have four different hometowns. I claim Atlanta and Nashville as the places where I grew up. I was born in Atlanta, but I did most of high school in Nashville. I feel home in terms of I was a kid in Atlanta. Nashville was, I mean, high school was a quintessential experience for lots of people, whether it was positive or negative. So I did a lot of growing up there. And then ultimately through school, I wound up spending six years in Alabama, and I claim Birmingham as well. But then I lived in Tucson for four years working on my doctorate. The one place that I do not call home is North Jersey, but I am currently living here.Jane Marie: You bring up a really important point when you talk about every place having value. When you said, "I've been to places that are not necessarily comfortable.”I want to dive deeper into that idea of what you mean and what can we learn from this idea that every place has value.How did you come to approach the world in this way and your travels in this way? What helped you have that perspective?Analeigh: The first place that comes immediately to mind is Aguascalientes, Mexico.A lot of people may have never heard of it, although it is a very large city in Mexico. It actually, within the city, has the geographic center of the Americas, north, south, east, and west, so it actually is an important city. The reason that I went there though was because my maternal uncle married a girl from Aguascalientes. She was working in a restaurant outside of Atlanta, and he became a regular. She was the server, and so they fell in love at this hole in the wall barbecue restaurant attached to a gas station.But she invited me two weeks after I had graduated high school to go to Aguascalientes, and I was all for it. Like I said, Myrtle Beach was exotic for my family, and so this was just this amazing experience.I flew through Nashville to Houston, and I was 17 years old at the time. I remember in Houston, they wouldn't let me on the plane. They were convinced that either I was being trafficked or I was trafficking someone or something because I was by myself, I was super young, my passport had a stamp to Canada from a mission trip in it, but that was it.I was able to explain to them, and they believed me, but they were like, "If this is really what you want to do, okay!" And let me on the plane.And when you walk out of an airport, there's always that bar and the people waiting behind it. And I walked out, and I see a sea of faces that I do not know, and my stomach dropped. Everyone was telling me I wasn't supposed to go here, and they were right!I have never been so happy to see my cousin burst through the legs-- he was like three years old at the time-- of these people.I actually went and taught English with my aunt's sister-in-law at the local middle and high school there. But everyone else spoke Spanish, and I realized then that I would never be able to connect with these people in this way if I couldn't speak the language. That's really what interested me in studying language and continuing through this field, professionally, of linguistics and intercultural communication and all of this stuff.That trip was really my first real dose of culture shock and learning that there's a lot of world outside of the Deep South and Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. You can choose to stay in that place if you want. There's some really great things about that area. Fried chicken is one. But if you want to go see other things, meet other people, try new foods, it's a really big world out there.Jane Marie: It's a big world. I think that's a really powerful lesson to learn so young, that there is much more to life and more ways of being outside of what we've experienced in our own hometowns.Tell us more about your experience in China, because you mentioned that as a place that you love, and all of the things that you learned while you were there.Analeigh: I think that would be another, maybe the second example, of a really huge culture shock that I've gone through in my life.By the time I went to teach in China, I was 25. I went for two summers. I was in a master's program in Applied Linguistics and Teaching English to speakers of other languages at the University of Alabama. And so I went to Wuhan, in between my first and second year, and then I graduated and went to Suzhou the summer after.Now, because of the pandemic, everyone knows Wuhan and has a very specific feeling about it. When I went, no one had ever heard of Wuhan. I remember my grandpapa, he had a magnifying glass and was looking at a globe trying to figure out where this place was, and everyone was super confused as to why it was going.I was completely exhausted the entire time, which seems like an odd takeaway to immediately have, perhaps. But every single thing was a cultural shock to me. You shock yourself over and over and over again. Right?I was completely exhausted from all of this learning and observing and experimenting with the culture: What had I been taught about this place, versus what was I actually experiencing? What were Chinese people teaching me as I was there? It can be really hard, but that was a real moment of accomplishing a dream that I didn't even realize that I had.When we were in Beijing, we had traveled outside of the city to Watertown. It's at the base of a part of the Great Wall of China. We had hiked up, and we're standing on the wall. I just began sobbing. My friend Molly looked at me like, "What is wrong with you?"I had a very clear memory of being in third grade, learning about the Great Wall of China, looking at an atlas, and seeing a picture of it. I had just made this assumption-- that I didn't even realize until that moment-- that I see it in the book, but I'll never see that in real life. And then there I was, it was literally underneath my feet.To see the growth that I had made and just arriving to this place that I truly never thought that little old me would wind up in was just a really humbling moment, as well as mind blowing, and it gave me the drive to continue learning, to continue exploring, and teaching and developing language skills so that we can have stronger experiences with people from around the world.Jane Marie: I love that story. I love the realization of, "Wow I never thought I would be here, but here I am, and what an amazing experience to feel so much gratitude in that moment.I've also experienced that. When I traveled in college, I had never been out of the country up to that point. I had two opportunities to study abroad, once in Ecuador, and once in London.When I was in London, I got to go all over Europe. I remember when we went to Rome, the friends and I from this study abroad program, we were reading in the guidebook, "Oh, Julius Caesar walked this path." And I remember thinking, that is so crazy that I'm walking in the same place that Julius Caesar walked in.I had the same experience. I never thought that I would get to travel the world. It's a really beautiful aspect of the world we live in today. It's so accessible to be able to travel and open ourselves up to different cultures.But you make a really great point about culture shock and how that affects our nervous system, how it affects our psyche.If you have anything more to say about culture shock, I'd love to hear more about how you dealt with that, and do you have any advice for people who are wanting to visit a new place but are nervous about being in a place that would be uncomfortable?Analeigh: Something that I have learned is that you actually don't have to go all over the place. I haven't been able to travel in a while because the pandemic stopped a lot of teaching programs, and I was stuck in grad school. But New York is my backyard. You literally are traveling the world! So people ask me, "Oh, you haven't been anywhere in a while?" Yes, I have! Have you been to Queens? The world really is in my backyard.Even in smaller, less global communities, it speaks a lot to social justice. I definitely thought for a long time that my community growing up was quite singular. The people that ran in our circle were the same as us. We went to church multiple times a week, we went to school, our parents had college degrees. The dad went to work, and the mom stayed at home, and we were a bunch of white people.Looking back now, the only reason I thought that was because I stayed in that group, right? I give myself grace because at the time I didn't know any different, but culture engaging with different cultures, different people, different ideas, different backgrounds, experiences really can happen wherever you are.I think the biggest piece of advice is, "It can only happen if you're open to it." I don't necessarily know that I can give any more advice beyond that because every cultural experience is different for every person. But being open and willing and listening! Pausing to listen. Then not just hearing, but intentionally listening, and then pausing to reflect. Not just reflecting in that moment. This is a great opportunity for me personally to reflect on these experiences years later. I'm going to walk into my classroom tomorrow and teach, and I'm reminded of some of these things. I can apply them in my own life.Jane Marie: I think one of the beautiful aspects of traveling the world is feeling that openness. What I'm thinking about is when I went to India years ago. I went with Fulbright. We had to read a book on ethical tourism. I think that's a really interesting concept that ties into this conversation.As visitors in a place, how do we show respect and honor to the people and the culture there, as we're visiting?Analeigh: I say this as someone who is a researcher professionally-- I do think researching just a little bit, before you go somewhere, what it is. For example, in France, it's very common and expected that when you walk into any kind of shop, that you will say, "Bonjour!" Just as a greeting. All it takes is a very quick Google search to be like, what's a cultural practice?Learning the word "bonjour" is not particularly challenging for the majority of people. But it's just that little practice of learning that one word and then just saying it over and over again whenever you wander into a place. I'll tag language in, that is a linguistic example! But learning language, being able to just say thank you to someone in their language. Hello and thank you will take you really far.Then also, learning your own lessons, but then sharing them with others. That's absolutely crucial to me. Knowledge is meant to be shared. It's not meant to be locked up or stored away. It is meant to be shared with people who don't necessarily have those experiences. That's a huge part of my ethos.Sometimes you can leave a place better than you found it because you go back, and you let somebody know, "Hey, that stereotype isn't true." You're making the community larger and more welcoming because more people are getting to learn about it through you.When you can physically pay it forward, I think that's important, but also there is this more analytical and spiritual level to it, too, I think.Jane Marie: I love that idea. And you mentioned it before when you were talking about China. Because you said you went there to teach English, but you also were learning from the Chinese people that you were living in community with. When we talk about soulmates – and I created this podcast thinking about soulmate connections to places-- and when we talk about soulmates, we think about mutual understanding and acceptance, and this idea of reciprocity.I think it's really beautiful to bring up this point that when we're traveling and if we really want to have this ethos of being open and leaving a place better than we found it, but also receiving something, we can really think about that aspect of, I'm here and I'm giving something to this place, but I'm also open. I'm listening and I'm learning, and I'm taking those lessons back with me and sharing with my community.Analeigh: I do love this concept that you're creating of soulmate doesn't necessarily have to be a physical person. It can be a place.For me, for whatever reason, I'm really connected with weather. It can just be for a fleeting second that the rain pours just right, or the clouds move at just the right angle, the temperature's just perfect-- that it immediately, in my mind, connects me with this place that I have been to where the weather was that exact same. And I'm immediately transported to that moment, and I just am surrounded in it.Then the rain shifts or the clouds move or whatever, and that moment's gone. But for that split second, I got to enjoy being in that place. For me, that is very much a soulful kind of connection with place.Jane Marie: I love thinking about weather as a vessel for our memories. Because we talk about it with foods, we talk about it with smells. I don't know that I've heard anybody talk about it with weather, but I think that's a really interesting point. Because I think it does apply! I think about it whenever I see the sun glittering on the water-- it's one of my favorite things to witness. If I see that, then I'm thinking about the other places I've experienced that, and that brings up a really positive memory for me.Analeigh: Whenever I go anywhere, I will always look at the moon. I'm halfway around the world, or the country, or whatever, and I know that that's the same exact moon my mom is looking at.Jane Marie: I love that.Analeigh: It's the same thing! We're in these completely different places, but that-- the moon is the same. Which I also think speaks to this shared sense of humanity, right?I believe that people are inherently good, that we do share this human quality regardless of where we're from or what we look like or what language we speak or food we eat. We are humans together, at the end of the day.You mentioned the sun. It reminded me of this practice that I have with the moon.Jane Marie: Part of this podcast too is exploring what connects us despite our differences. We know that technology connects us in a lot of ways, but also contributes to a lot of isolation. So when we can identify those common experiences that we have-- and I think that's a lot of what you're getting at in telling your experiences with traveling across the world-- when we're opening ourselves up to seeing commonalities rather than focusing on the differences, we can see that humanity. And we can really value that piece of connection, no matter where we find ourselves, even if it is a place where we're experiencing a lot of culture shock, and it is exhausting.Analeigh: If you let yourself focus on the differences, that's all you're going to see. But if you can pause the comparison for a minute and look for those similarities, they're actually not that hard to find.Jane Marie: I love that. I would love to know, we've talked a little bit about it, but is there anything you'd like to add about why you loved your experience in China and what it brought out in you? What characteristics did it bring out in you?Analeigh: I had a really meaningful experience with my TAs. We were there teaching English for students who were international business majors and wanted to practice, specifically, "culturally- related English," so that they would be prepared for international business. But we each had a TA who was a little bit more advanced with their English skills. They were often English majorsI was with mine and then one other, we had gone to this train station to buy tickets for a weekend trip. Prior to going on that trip, we had been told by the leaders of the group, before going to China, that there are some things that we do not talk about: We do not talk about whether Taiwan is actually a part of China; we do not talk about what I would refer to as genocide happening in northern and western rural China. There were some things that I knew I wasn't supposed to bring up.Tiananmen Square and the massacre that happened there was something that we weren't supposed to discuss. Somehow, and I still do not know how, somehow it came up.I was with these two girls in the back of a taxi, and one of them spoke to the taxi driver, and he responded. I said, "What did you ask?" And she said, "I asked if he spoke English and he said no."That was an important question because in many communist countries, someone is always listening. In communist countries in particular, the stakes are high for that.So again, this topic had somehow come up, and we were in this taxi with this one guy who didn't speak English. So there was a sense of safety compared to being on the school campus, or in public. One of the TAs said, " I do know that it happened. My grandfather took me into a closet and whispered the story to me one time."That was just mind blowing for me because what has happened in China-- I mean, China has an extensive history, so I do not claim to know all of Chinese history-- but we have learned in the United States many important moments in Chinese history from ancient, to the past thousand years, to contemporary. Learning about that massacre is definitely something that I had learned about in multiple history classes over the years.To hear that that was such a heavily guarded, dangerous secret of knowledge, it did make me wonder, what are the heavily guarded, dangerous pieces of knowledge that I don't know?It's easy to judge a different country because it's not yours, but when you're thinking about your own, you do feel this sense of belonging to it. The U.S. in particular, there's a lot of allegiance towards it, a lot of nationalism, compared to some countries. When you feel that sense of belonging, you're conditioned not to question it and believe that this is a-- dare I say it?-- Great place.Which, using that word in particular and the sentence as a whole is a little troublesome for me right now. But, what are the things that we don't know about our own place? Whether it's because it is a guarded, dangerous secret, or because we just don't even know that it's a question that we're supposed to ask in the first place?Jane Marie: Or maybe we don't want to accept it.Analeigh: Exactly. So that was a really important moment for me.Jane Marie: That's a really amazing story. I think it brings up a really important point about our own communities, and what we open ourselves up to in our own community, what we choose to believe about ourselves, and a lot of times, what we choose to believe about other people.What you've been describing this whole time that we've been talking is as you've traveled, you've realized that there were a lot of truths to the community that you were visiting that you didn't know about from your own experience living in the U.S., in the southern states, or whatever it was.I think that's a really important aspect of opening yourself up to a new community and getting to this place --that you described at the beginning-- of being able to go anywhere. And even if it's uncomfortable, seeing the value in that place.Because it's really easy for us on the outside to say like, "What a horrible thing that these people are doing!" But then when you meet these people, and you're in the place, you see that there's a lot of nuance there, and it's not so black and white.Then it opens up the possibility, too, that there are things that our community has done that also aren't so great, that other people on the outside looking in might view in the same way.Analeigh: I experienced that a lot coming from the south. When I was living in Spain, it was the 2016 election year, and I was expecting cultural shock from the Spaniards. But I actually experienced more from the fellow U.S. American teachers who were in the Fulbright program with me, many of whom were from the West Coast or northeast. There were a lot of assumptions being made that I inherently was a hateful person, and undereducated-- "How did we let this person in?" Kind of thing.I was spending a lot of time to protect my community. There are people who I know and love, and I don't think that they are inherently hateful people. They really were making the choice that they thought was best. Now, we're nine years later, and so I do have some different thoughts about it. But at the time, that was how I felt, and for people to say these really nasty things about my family, my friends, my community-- it was angering! Because it wasn't necessarily correct.I finally found the words to articulate it: "You are being the hate that you are accusing other people of being." And it was true. That was that moment of looking in the mirror, for my own self, as well as with people with whom I was communicating.You mentioned the word "choose" several times: "We choose to do this. We choose to believe __." That it is all a choice.If you truly don't know, then you truly don't know, right? I can't ask a question that I don't even know I'm supposed to ask.But once you do know something, you become responsible for that knowledge. You choose to continue to perpetuate the belief that you already had, positive or negative. You choose to change that belief, or adapt it. You choose to embody these traits or, or not, again, positive or negative, but choice is an essential part of this whole conversation.What do I choose to believe? Where do I choose to go? Who are the people with whom I choose to spend time? Because if we don't realize that choice is so essential, then we do just continue to perpetuate the hamster wheel, the echo chamber, whatever you want to call it. And we're being irresponsible with our freedom of choice.Jane Marie: I do think we've entered a time where it feels more extreme about what people believe on two different sides, for example, of the political spectrum. What you're describing about experiencing this prejudice against you as a Southerner, Southern American-- from other Americans who are from different regions-- I experienced that, too, moving to New York, and it's something that I think about a lot. Because I consider myself still a southern woman, even though I live in New York, and I have different values than what a lot of people in my hometown believe.I think that this is a really important part of community and connection. If we want to have community, and we want to have unity-- we hear politicians talking about this a lot-- we have to, on both sides, we have to have this willingness to hear each other and to see each other as human. And not demonizing each other for what these beliefs are, and making assumptions about people because of where they're from or who they voted for, or whatever it may be.Analeigh: You remind me of a concept that we have in linguistics called Linguistic Overcompensation. It's this phenomenon that you don't even realize is happening. When you're in a place where your accent is not being used, so coming up to the north, you are subconsciously more likely to further use, even exaggerate, your Southern accent because your brain needs to hear people who sound like you. So you're essentially creating more of what sounds like you.It kind of connects for me as I'm thinking through it right now, this concept of echo chamber, right? Are we seeing these other differences and just continuing to dig our heels in, so that we only see what it is that we want to see? Or, do we have that choice to not overcompensate?At the same time, a slightly different takeaway, but related to the same thing. When I moved here, I completely cut out my accent.The United States Southern accent is considered to be the accent that experiences the most prejudice, so I've tried to remove that. And I was up here, and it's been within the past, I would say eight months even, that I realized I didn't sound like myself. And that's part of why I wasn't feeling like myself-- because I was denying a part of who I am, because I was so nervous of other people's judgment about it.My education, my knowledge, I still have the same whether I sound like this, or I take it out completely and entirely, you know, like I'm still the same person, so why am I letting all these other people dictate who I am going to be?So again, it's that concept of choice, using language, but for the completely opposite kind of point. In this case, I am positively using me. And people clock it all the time. Even just the other day I was waiting in the classic New York line with thousands of people, and I kept thanking people, which I didn't even know I was doing. I was just doing it because that's how our mama raised us, you know?And this woman who was from the Bronx was like, "You are southern! You keep saying thank you." I was like, "oh, that's just the right thing to do, right?". I didn't realize that it was a cultural marker for me at the time. I think that this is all just like a really important point of identity, which is ultimately what I research.Jane Marie: That really resonates with me because I also moved away from Alabama. The first time that I spent time away from Alabama was studying abroad in London. And when I came back, our mutually favorite professor said to me, "You sound different; your speech is different."I did experience that feeling of people are going to pass judgments about me based on the way I sound, and I wanted to be taken seriously. And so I subconsciously did the opposite.I actually changed the way that I speak in a large way, and I always joke that my southern accent doesn't really come out unless I'm around my family for a long time or unless I've had a few drinks.Analeigh: Exactly! It's that choice to essentially make it easier to just blend in. When I was in London, I remember I would always say, "sorry" with the accent, because that's what they say, right? I know I'm in the way, but I'm just trying to blend in, you know? I just think that it's all pretty fascinating.Jane Marie: When we think about places we love, it also happens that our relationship to these places can change. And so I'm curious if your relationship with the world and how you love to travel and experience other cultures, have you experienced any change in that in the past few years?Analeigh: Yes. I think before I get onto that international and global scale, though. I have to look at home first. I claim that I am Deep South and Appalachian, but I also grew up the metro Atlanta area. Atlanta, many people will tell you, it's not the South, except only in geography.I've asked the question, literally as well as reflecting, how do you have people that grow up in the exact same environment, but wind up so different? That's a question for Freudian psychologists. I still don't have an answer, even though I've been thinking about it for a long time. I think I really have to continue wrestling with that question from the internal reflective place about my own self and my own community before I'm able to meaningfully unpack how I feel about other places in the world.It all trickles down back into that foundation of upbringing, of this sense of just questioning, that I have to continue wrestling with to be able to truly understand how I feel about those places, and how did I get there. What are these experiences of traveling, of engaging with different cultures, of meeting different people? Is that the thing that was different between me and this other girl? Maybe it was. Travel definitely informs what I think. Place definitely informs, but it also causes a lot of questions.Jane Marie: I've definitely experienced that too, that no matter where I'm going, it raises more questions than answers when I'm traveling. Which I think is a really beautiful way to live because it's opening yourself up to exploring curiosity of yourself, of other people, of other communities. I think there's a lot of validity to wanting to experience new places and learn from them.Have you ever fallen out of love with a place?Analeigh: My hometown. And it's not just because of the politics. I think also just like personal life experiences. My grandmother passed away a couple years ago, and my grandfather moved to an older adults community in a different county. So that home that I so cherished, those relationships-- I don't have that space anymore. It's hard to feel the same kind of active love. I have the reminiscent love, right? But I don't have the active love as [00:38:00] much.I don't think that I have fallen out of love with places so much as found new places to fall more in love with. And so that meaningfulness changes.That's the same with how human relationships are. My best friend from high school, we don't really communicate anymore. Not because of a negative thing at all, just because our lives have drifted in different ways.I do think the place that I love the most or whatever is evolving as I evolve. And people ask me all the time, " If you could travel anywhere, what's number one on your bucket list?"Ask me again in 60 seconds. The answer to that changes faster than the weather. I want to see it all; I don't care where that plane ticket is to, but put me on it. I'm going!I think for the places I've been to where you get there and you just feel like, "This is where I'm supposed to be." I don't think I've fallen out of love with those places.I was mentioning the weather, of this just split second experience, I have this split second experience that has happened so few times that when it does, I immediately just like stop in my tracks. All of a sudden, I feel I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I made it.Jane Marie: What a beautiful feeling.Analeigh: I wanted to be here. I wanted to do this. I made it. The most recent example of that was, actually, it was walking to your apartment. I believe it was that Thanksgiving party.I was walking and your apartment is right next to the Williamsburg Bridge. I looked up, and I saw it, right, huge above me, and you could see the tops of the glittering buildings across the East River. I had only been out of grad school for four or five months. But I had focused on that massive goal of, " I am going to get my PhD, and I'm going to get a job!" That it was so big of a mountain, you can't see on the other side of it. Right? But you just know you have to accomplish that goal.I was walking and I saw that, and I realized I made it. I graduated. I got a job. I'm making a friend right now, and I'm in the coolest city in the world. I did it."Goodnight, New York, I love you" – Like that, that right there, that's why I'm so fascinated with this place right now is because I can't exactly define it, but for whatever reason, this is the place that I love the most right now. This is what's teaching me the most right now. And so, of all of the places that are meaningful to me, this is the one that's impacting me the most in my current stage of life.Jane Marie: I love that. In the same way that we talk about relationships with people, that they change and sometimes they're just for a season, I think it does apply to places, too. And what you're describing is taking the time to be grateful for what you just accomplished and be present in the place where you are and allow yourself to grow and thrive in that place. It's a really beautiful way to approach wherever you're living.Analeigh: In talking about this, you're letting me actually be able to practice some of the things that I believe. It really does mean a lot to me, so thank you for this chance.Jane Marie: Yeah. Thanks for coming and sharing all your experiences with us. I have one final question that I end every conversation with:Describe your ideal day in whatever place . How would you like to answer that question? Would you like to tell us about your ideal day in China, the place you'd started with, or your ideal day when you're traveling?Analeigh: Maybe I can answer this, instead of a specific place, getting back to that concept of loving everywhere.I think that day looks like getting up before the crack of dawn, being at the airport, doing it by yourself, in particular. There's a lot of agency in that, and also it reflects a lot of experience. You have to have done this multiple times to start to develop the literacy of how this works.For me, it's all the more exciting when, the place that I'm at, the dominant language is a language that uses a non-Roman alphabet. Because with Roman alphabets, I know enough languages to piece together things. But non-Roman alphabets are challenging! Just navigating out of the airport, getting a taxi, and getting checked in at your hotel-- that requires so much effort! And there's a lot of fear in it. Did I get in the wrong kind of taxi? Am I sure that customs stamped the right page that I'm going to need? I can't read anything. I can't talk to anybody, but I think that this is, I think this is right.And when you open that door into your hotel, and they let you in, right? You got to the right place and you've made it. That's an incredible accomplishment.Immediately taking a shower because I hate the way I feel after travel, especially on airplanes. But then going out and getting that first coffee, or whatever it is. Just walking through the city, and like we were talking about earlier, having the ground under my feet. Even if I can't understand it, but listening to people laughing or the Nonnas or the Abuelas gossiping in the corner. You know, just being present in that place.When you're alone, really have the opportunity to do that. Traveling by myself is the most empowering experience that I can create because it's all up to you, right? And so it does reflect all of that experience and knowledge and guts, for better or for worse, that you have.Also, when you're alone, you get to dictate what you do by yourself. I can go to the bathroom whenever I want. I can eat wherever, for however much price I want. Because I'm not having to negotiate with people, I can have the exact experience I want. And also, I'm not relying on someone else to help co-navigate this or figure this out. I'm not busy talking with them. I am busy being in that place and enjoying that sense of accomplishment that I did it! And just wonder of wherever it is, you know?Then a lot of people are scared of eating by yourself, but taking yourself to a restaurant and just being on a date with yourself-- whether you take a book, or you do just listen to the world around you, or you sit at the bar and strike up a conversation with the bartender.Again, seeing the moon that night, getting myself back to where I know it's safe, back to that hotel room or Airbnb or hostel or what have you. That's a really great day of, “I did it.”Jane Marie: I've had the same experience traveling by myself. I find it really empowering, and I only started traveling by myself a few years ago. But I agree with you that it is a beautiful way to experience a new place.A lot of what you're describing is sonder. I don't know if you've heard this term. One of my friends introduced me to this word, but it's this curiosity and wanting to learn more about other people's lives and wondering what their lives are like.And when we're by ourselves, and you mentioned this, when we're not distracted by the people that we're with or co-navigating with them or whatever it is, we open ourselves up to more time to have sonder about other people and other cultures and other communities, and that is a learning experience in and of itself.Analeigh: I started solo traveling when we were living in Spain. I had invited multiple people. I was like, "I want to go to this place. Who wants to come?" And person after person said no for whatever reason. And I was like, "Well, I want to go. So I'm going to go."I took myself! I went to Copenhagen, and there I was by myself, and I was like, "What is this? This is incredible. Why haven't I done this before?"That concept of sonder, of empowerment, and just being a little bit stubborn: "This is what I want to do, and so I'm going to go do it."Jane Marie: It takes resilience too, to be that kind of person that puts yourself out there. It takes courage. You have to be willing to take risks, and like you were saying, experiment and see what happens. Be open to where the day takes you. But there's a lot of beauty in that, too! A lot of freedom and beauty.Thank you Analeigh for sharing all of your experiences with us and for all of your reflections.I think there's a lot to glean from this conversation, and a lot for us to take with us about being open, about learning from other cultures and communities, and about learning about ourselves in this process of experiencing new places and communities. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janemariehutcheson.substack.com

Every night as I close the shades to my bedroom window, I look towards the New York skyline and say, "Goodnight, New York. I love you." It started out as a funny bit, and then a nightly gratitude ritual. But now, "Goodnight, New York, I Love You" is a new podcast about places we love.So this podcast isn't really about New York. It's about any place we love and why we love it. Because just like finding a soulmate, our relationship with places can feel just as powerful. In each new episode, my guest and I will explore what drives that connection with places, but we'll also explore the relationship between love, places, and connection with community.In today's episode, I'm joined by my dear friend, Christian Noojin. He is a creator, luxury experience consultant, and GIA graduate Gemologist. We're digging into a place we both love: New York City. Christian and I explore how living in New York as young adults helped transform us into the people we are today. We also discuss building community in a big city like New York. Christian also tells us about starting over when he moved from New York to Charlotte, North Carolina, and what it taught him about himself. You can follow Christian on Instagram and TikTok under the username @christian.noojin This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janemariehutcheson.substack.com