I Choose The Bear Podcast

62 million views.A viral question.And the truth behind why women chose the bear.

You don’t realize how hard it is to breathe…until you finally can.No more walking on eggshells.No more bracing for someone’s mood.No more shrinking to keep the peace.Just quiet.Just safety.Just you.You get your voice back.You get your choices back.You get you back.This life exists for you too.

Have you ever falling in love with potential? You saw the good in him.You made excuses for the parts that hurt.You held onto potential… hoping one day it would become reality.But love doesn’t turn someone into a good partner. It doesn’t create consistency, effort, or respect.Love isn’t supposed to feel like something you have to manage.You were never meant to fix him.You are here to be loved well.

I was told recently, “You are thriving now.”And if I’m honest… I didn’t know how to receive that. Because thriving, to me, sounded like peace.Like rest. Like finally feeling okay.And that’s not quite where I am.In this episode, I share what led up to that moment ..from stress that physically impacted my heart…to sitting in a doctor’s office being told I’m “thriving” while still feeling like I’m walking through a very long, very dark tunnel.We talk about what healing actually looks like after abuse; how your body keeps score…how stress doesn’t just disappear when you leave… and how sometimes the biggest growth isn’t what you feel… but what others can see in you.If you’re in that space where life is still hard…but you know you’re not where you used to be…This episode is for you.Because maybe thriving doesn’t feel the way we expected it to.And maybe that’s exactly where it begins.

You left. You moved on. So why does your body still react?In this episode, we’re talking about the kind of trauma that doesn’t end when the relationship does. The kind that shows up in your breathing, your thoughts, your need to double-check everything… This is about flashbacks that come out of nowhere. The silence that looks like zoning out.And the reality that your body remembers what your mind has tried to move on from.Because sometimes, you cut the tree down…but the roots are still there.

What happens when your voice slowly disappears in a relationship? In this episode, I ask a series of questions that many women recognize but rarely say out loud. You might realize you weren’t the only one living it.You might find yourself answering “yes” more than you expected.

This episode is for the men.Not to accuse. Not to shame. But to invite understanding.In this episode, I talk about the everyday calculations women make for their safety, the phrase “it’s not all men, but it’s all women,” and what many good men may not realize about the world women experience.And for the men who are loving women who have been hurt before, the ones showing patience, kindness, and consistency…this episode is also a thank you.Because safe love has the power to rewrite stories that women never chose.

How many times have you felt that quiet internal nudge… and talked yourself out of it?In this episode, we’re talking about intuition, emotional safety, and the power of pausing instead of dismissing yourself. I share a personal story about a moment when listening to my instincts protected me and my children and how that same principle applies in relationships.If you’ve ever ignored a red flag or talked yourself out of your own discomfort, this one is for you.

This episode isn’t about fixing anything.It’s about recognition.We talk about over-functioning, the weight of being the safety net, the quiet pressure of realizing no one is coming to rescue you and what that realization does to a woman.If you’re the strong one.The steady one.The one who keeps going because you have to.This episode is for you.I see you.

She survived a man who tried to kill her.She survived another who tried to destroy her with words.Nat’s story is not easy to hear, but it is necessary.In this episode, she shares what it was like to flee for her life… and what it feels like to carry the echoes of abuse long after you’ve left.Because sometimes the bruises fade.But the words still linger.

Dating after abuse isn’t just dating…it’s relearning safety. This episode is for anyone who wants love but still feels on edge. Just a gentle reminder that healing takes time.

Kim opens up about the emotional and verbal abuse she endured in her marriage and how her early relationship with her father shaped her understanding of love long before she ever chose a partner. This episode explores how unmet needs in childhood echo into adulthood, how certain dynamics become familiar, and what it takes to finally see the pattern and break it.

We are the generation living the freedom women before us fought for. This episode explores why expecting respect is not asking too much…it’s the natural result of women finally being treated as fully human.

Are women really more emotional than men — or are their emotions just more visible?In this episode of I Choose the Bear Podcast, we break down the myth using psychology, neuroscience, and lived experience. We explore how men and women feel emotions at similar levels, why emotional expression looks different, and how women’s emotions are more likely to be questioned, dismissed, or labeled “too much.”This is a conversation about expression vs. emotion, trauma vs. hysteria, and why clarity — not silence — is strength.

Abuse doesn’t always end when the relationship ends. This episode explores what post-separation abuse can look like: withholding child support, legal intimidation, co-parenting manipulation,smear campaigns, digital monitoring, and more.If you’ve lived this, you’ll feel seen. If you haven’t, you’ll understand survivors more deeply.Listen, share, and bring light to someone walking through the aftermath.

In this episode, I sit down with Em, a woman who spent years trying to make sense of a marriage shaped by manipulation and half-truths. Em shares how deception slowly became the foundation of her relationship — and how she found the clarity and courage to trust her own discernment again.This conversation explores what happens when trust is abused, when spiritual support falls silent, and when someone finally chooses truth over confusion. Em’s story is a powerful reminder that healing begins the moment we stop protecting the lie and start protecting ourselves.

This episode dives into the truth about forgiveness …the real kind, not the rushed, pressured version so many women are taught to perform. We explore what happens when you’re expected to hold a relationship together alone, even while the other person keeps breaking it apart.We’re redefining forgiveness:not as silence, not as reconciliation, not as self-sacrifice… but as clarity, release, and choosing peace over pretending.If you’ve ever felt like you were the one picking up the pieces, this episode will speak to your soul.Share it with someone who might need the reminder that she is allowed to protect her peace and her heart.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses experiences of physical aggression and animal harm.Abuse doesn’t always look like anger — sometimes it’s calm, mocking, or disguised as humor. This episode unpacks how emotional and psychological abuse can hide in plain sight and how survivors can begin to take their power back.

October is almost over… but what other awareness lives quietly among the rest?We see pink ribbons and mental health posts.We honor Down Syndrome and infant loss.But there’s another story woven through this month …one that isn’t always seen, but deeply felt.Domestic Violence Awareness.This isn’t just for survivors.It’s for all women and the men who stand beside them. Because nearly half of all women have experienced abuse in some form.That means we all know someone who’s lived it, hidden it, or is still trying to heal from it.Awareness isn’t just about statistics. It’s about empathy, courage, and change.As October fades, I’m holding space for all the causes this month carries: the strength, the stories, the awareness, and the healing behind each one.Domestic Violence Awareness is just one of them.But like each ribbon this month, it reminds us how deeply human we all are …how connection, compassion, and courage can change everything.Let’s keep carrying that light forward.

What Abuse Looks Like (Part 3 of 4)⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussion of physical and sexual abuse. Please listen only if you feel emotionally safe to do so. Take breaks or skip this one if you need to — your safety matters.In this episode of I Choose the Bear Podcast, I explore three of the most visible and painful forms of abuse — physical, sexual, and financial.These forms of control are never about anger or money — they’re about power.This conversation is a space of truth, validation, and healing — for anyone who has ever felt unsafe in their own body or trapped by someone else’s control.Resources Mentioned: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) • RAINN (Sexual Assault Hotline) – 1-800-656-4673 • The Allstate Foundation Moving Ahead Program • National Network to End Domestic ViolenceYour body belongs to you. Your safety is sacred. Rise like the phoenix. Find strength like the bear.

Healing doesn’t mean you stop crying — it means your tears start to change.In this episode, I open up about the quiet grief that lingers after leaving a painful relationship — the ache for the love that never was, the longing for true partnership, and the strength it takes to keep rebuilding.Through raw honesty and faith, I hope to remind all of us that tears aren’t weakness — they’re release. Because even in the heartbreak and loneliness, God is still filling the cracks with grace, hope, and gold.This episode is for the woman who still cries, but keeps choosing to heal… to hope… and to rise.

In this episode of I Choose the Bear, I sit down with Amy Liptak, a certified counselor in Bloomington, Indiana, to talk about the realities women face during and after abusive relationships. Amy brings years of experience walking alongside women as they untangle from the toll that abuse leaves behind.Together, we discuss how women fall into these types of relationships, why leaving can feel so difficult, and Amy also shares resources she recommends for women navigating this journey. Her contact information and the resources mentioned in this conversation are included in the show notes for anyone seeking further support.This is a conversation filled with honesty, wisdom, and hope—reminding you that healing is possible and you are not alone.*Side note* EMDR was mentioned in the podcast to have been developed in the 90's but it was actually around 1987. Resources mentioned in this episode:Dr. RamaniDr. Kim SageDr. Brené [email protected]

In this deeply personal journal reading, I open up about the emotional rollercoaster I experienced before separation — the gaslighting, the spiritual guilt, the financial fear, and the crushing pressure to “fix” a marriage I didn’t break.You’ll hear my heavy words — written in the thick of it — as I questioned my future, my faith, and if I was too broken.I talk about what it felt like to try so hard while constantly being blamed, silenced, and pulled into chaos by someone who refused to believe he was abusive.If you’ve ever felt like you were the only one trying… this episode is for you.

In Part 2 of our conversation, Dr. Mallory Knipe returns to discuss the psychosomatic symptoms of trauma, how they show up in the body, and practical tools you can begin using today. We also share helpful resources for deepening your understanding of trauma’s lasting impact.Resources Mentioned in this Episode: • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk • What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo • Traumatic Experience and the Brain by Dave Ziegler, Ph.D. • Bruce D. Perry • Brené Brown

Trigger Warning:In this week’s episode, we talk about trauma and reference a couple different types of traumatic events. Please listen with care and step away if needed.In this episode of I Choose the Bear, I’m joined by Dr. Mallory Knipe, associate professor in the Master of Social Work program at Saint Mary’s University. With a doctorate in social work from the University of St. Thomas and a master’s from the University of Oklahoma, Dr. Knipe brings both clinical expertise and deep compassion to the conversation.Together, we explore how trauma affects the body—what happens in your brain, why you freeze in moments of conflict, or why your body seems to “overreact” long after the danger is gone.Whether you’re a survivor trying to understand yourself or a loved one trying to support someone you care about, this episode brings clarity to the question: “Why am I like this?”

“Why did you stay so long?”It’s a question survivors hear all the time—and one that carries shame. But the truth is far more complex than most people realize.In this episode of I Choose the Bear Podcast, we unpack the hidden reasons women stay in abusive relationships.This conversation reframes the question, shifting the focus from judgment to compassion: not “Why did she stay?” but “What gave her the strength to leave?”If you’ve ever stayed longer than you thought you would—or wondered why someone else has—this episode will bring clarity, validation, and hope.

In this episode of I Choose the Bear, we explore three invisible but devastating forms of abuse: verbal, spiritual, and neglect. Through personal and stories and made up scenarios, I walk you through what it looks like when someone chips away at your confidence, uses God as a weapon, or simply refuses to care.If you’ve ever questioned whether your pain counted, or wondered if you were being “too sensitive,” this episode will remind you:It was real. You are not alone. And your story matters.

Before I left, I wrote — raw, unfiltered entries that I often threw away out of fear he’d find them. In this episode, I’m reading two entries, written when I was still in the marriage but beginning to see the truth.These are the words of a woman questioning who she is, grieving the life she thought she had, and facing the reality of emotional and mental abuse.If you’ve ever felt lost in a relationship or unsure of your worth, you may hear your story in mine. You are not alone. There is hope beyond this.

In this first episode of a four-part series, I walk listeners through subtle, often overlooked forms of abuse - specifically psychological abuse, emotional abuse, and coercive control.Through real-life stories and gentle reflection, I name the quiet, soul-erasing patterns many survivors were taught to normalize. This episode is for the woman still trying to figure out if it “counts.” And for the friend, mother, or pastor watching someone slowly disappear - and wondering why.

Season 1 Episode 5: But Was It Really Abuse? I used to say things like, “I don’t know that I was necessarily abused. My marriage was just…hard.” I thought maybe I was being too sensitive. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe it really was my fault.But then I sat across from a counselor and shared my story, and heard the words I’ll never forget: “You absolutely were abused.” Have you ever heard of coercive control? It’s the kind of abuse that doesn’t always leave bruises - but it leaves you doubting yourself, walking on eggshells, and slowly disappearing. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Was it really that bad?” - then this episode is for you.

Episode 4: The Other Side of Fear - Caitlin’s StoryTrigger Warning: SA and Physical AbuseIn this powerful episode, I sit down with my dear friend Caitlin as she bravely shares her story of surviving physical abuse and SA. What she endured behind closed doors was heartbreaking, but the courage it took to break free and start over is nothing short of heroic. Caitlin’s journey is raw, honest, and deeply moving. It’s a story of fear, silence, survival…and ultimately, strength. She didn’t just make it out - she’s building something beautiful on the other side. Whether you’re in the midst of something hard or walking with someone who is, this episode is a reminder: you are not alone and there is life after abuse. Resources for support are listed below. Please listen with care. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233Website:https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violenceOffice on Violence Against Women US Department of Justicehttps://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violencehttps://[email protected]

Health and What My Body Remembers Some wounds don’t leave bruises.Some memories still make your chest tighten.This week, I talk about the pain I carried alone—the health scares, the silence,and the ache of being asked“What are you doing to cause it?”If you’ve ever had to be strong when no one stood beside you,this episode is for you.You’re not weak.You’re not to blame.You’re not alone.

Episode 2: The Chaos, The Grief, The Courage It Takes to LeaveAt first, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t overreacting.I started reading, reaching out, quietly asking myself, Is this abuse?In this episode, I take you into the part of my story that’s hardest to tell—the part where everything looks like it’s falling apart, but something stronger is quietly rising inside of me.You’ll hear about the moment I told him I wanted to separate, the twisted ways he tried to reclaim control, and how even as I started to breathe again, the manipulation didn’t stop.You’ll hear about the letter I wrote.The chaos of separation.The unbearable grief of walking away from a life I built—and the courage to do it anyway.Because I wasn’t just leaving a marriage.I was choosing to break a cycle.For my kids. For myself.Even when it felt like it might kill me.This is a story of choosing truth when lies are louder.Of choosing peace when the world calls you dramatic.Of choosing to survive—even if it means starting over in ashes.🎧 Listen now. You’re not alone.

What if the person you loved the most was also the one who made you feel the smallest?In this first episode, I share about the day that cracked open the truth about my marriage and the book that helped me finally name what I was living through: abuse If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it really that bad?” Or told yourself, “But he’s not always like this…” then this episode is for you. You are not alone. And this may just be the day you start to see it too. Listen now, share with someone who needs it, and remember:You are not crazy. You are not weak. You are waking up. And that’s the bravest thing you can do.

I Choose the Bear Podcast is about facing it. It’s about rising from betrayal, reclaiming our worth, and becoming the strongest version of ourselves - whether anyone else chooses us or not. I chose the bear…because I’ve walked through fire and still came out standing. Because I’m done shrinking. Because I am strong. I am worthy. And I still believe in love that sees me, values me, and chooses me fully. If you’re healing from abuse, heartbreak, or anything that made you forget your power - this space is for you. You don’t have to stay silent. You don’t have to stay small. You get to rise. Welcome to I Choose the Bear Podcast.