I Tried to Be Straight

In this final episode of this era of I Tried to Be Straight, Nate and Susie reunite to close out a series that has been so close to our hearts.We reflect on where we started, how far we've come, and what it means to finally live without the constant tension of wondering whether being gay is somehow at odds with being a Christian. We chat about how our faith and identity have evolved, and the unexpected peace that comes when you stop trying to fix what was never broken.As this chapter of the podcast comes to a close, it’s not a goodbye, but it is the end of this era. But stay tuned, because there will still be more ahead!

For a long time, Davidson believed loving himself came with conditions. That if he came out, he might lose his faith, his family, or God’s love altogether. So he stayed quiet, faithful, afraid, and disconnected from himself.In this episode, Davidson shares how coming out wasn’t about rejecting God, but finally believing he was still loved by God. He opens up about the moment he realized he couldn’t fully love himself while hiding, the fear of being disqualified, and the surprising ways honesty deepened his faith instead of destroying it.

Judah went to Bethel’s School of Supernatural Ministry to learn tools to go into ministry. Instead he found himself getting pushed into Bethel Church’s Changed Movement, a new ex-gay therapy program built on declarations, demon-casting, and false hope. In this episode, Judah shares what really happened behind the scenes: trusting leaders who said change was coming, being used as a testimony while nothing actually changed, and the quiet damage of being told you’re broken. This is the truth about Bethel’s secret gay “healing” ministry and how no one is actually changing.

When Gilbert Gonzalez Jr. fell in love with God, he was told he couldn’t be both gay and Christian. Years later, he’s learned that faith and identity don’t have to be enemies. In this episode of I Tried to Be Straight, Gilbert shares how he reconciled his faith, embraced his truth, and now fights for a church that fully affirms LGBTQ+ believers.

Lewis Crompton was a respected prophetic leader and church counselor but he was denying his sexuality. For years, he prayed, fasted, and even tried conversion therapy, desperately hoping his sexuality would change. In this conversation, Lewis shares the painful cost of hiding, the deep questions he wrestled with and how he ultimately found the courage to come out as gay.https://www.instagram.com/withlewiscrompton/

William Matthews has been known for his powerful voice and songwriting in the Christian music world, but behind the music was a years-long struggle to accept his own sexuality. In this candid conversation, William opens up about the internal battles, the faith questions, and the turning points that led him to finally embrace who he was as a gay man.

Lucas Wilson shares his experience of spending four years in conversion therapy while attending Liberty University. Now, years later, Lucas is reclaiming his voice as the writer of Shame-Sex Attraction, a powerful anthology of stories from conversion therapy survivors. We dive into his story, the lasting effects of spiritual trauma, and what healing and queer joy can look like on the other side.

Ten years ago, at just 24 years old, Matthew Vines published God and the Gay Christian, a book that would challenge centuries of church teaching and ignite a movement. In this episode, Matthew reflects on the past decade: the backlash, the breakthroughs, and the communities that have formed around the idea that you can be fully gay and fully Christian.https://matthewvines.com/

While Jordan was living what many would consider the ideal Christian life, evangelizing and serving at his church, he was quietly struggling with his attraction to men. Everything came to a head when another student outed him in college, costing him school benefits simply for being gay and making him question everything.

After years of working in the church and trying to stay in the closet, Cade -  ⁨@GayExTrad⁩  Justin -  ⁨@EmptyChairsHome⁩  and Nate sit down to talk about what it’s been like to finally live out in the open. From unlearning shame to finding joy in authenticity, this episode dives deep into the emotional, spiritual, and relational journey of coming out after growing up in the church.

Brandan Robertson explains in his new book Queer & Christian, where he challenges traditional interpretations of Scripture that have long excluded LGBTQ+ people. Instead, he uncovers the Bible’s true message of love, justice, and radical inclusion. More than just a reclamation of the Bible, this book is a call to reclaim the rightful place of queer people at God’s table. Whether you're seeking clarity, healing, or a deeper connection to your faith, Queer & Christian offers the tools to build a more inclusive and affirming Christian community.https://www.brandanrobertson.com/queer-christian-book

Some big announcements and big changes for the first episode of season 3 of I Tried to Be Straight!

In this episode of I Tried to Be Straight, Dr. Julia Sadusky—a Catholic psychologist—shares how her work in sexuality, gender, and trauma led her to question beliefs about being gay. She reveals the insights that reshaped her faith perspective and offers ways for faith communities to foster empathy and acceptance.

We can’t believe it’s been a whole year, whether you’ve been with us from the very beginning or just recently found us, thank you for listening, supporting, and tuning in each week. It truly means the world to us! In this special episode, we reflect on what the past year has taught us, dive into the highs and lows of dating, and debate the big question: Can you really be friends after dating? ---------------------------------------------------- Support us and Join our Monthly Zoom on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and others on Discord: ⁠ https://discord.gg/5jVTkdUm

Susie and Nate touch base on where there faith journeys are at through the coming out process.

Justin from Empty Chairs joins us to share about his efforts to create community for LGBTQ within the Catholic church. After coming out and realizing he didn't believe being gay was wrong, he started speaking out about the issue and realized there were a lot more like him than he imagined! https://empty-chairs.org/

We're excited to share this episode with fashion influencer Jonathan Kirby. We had the privilege of sitting down with him in New York to hear his powerful coming-out story. Jonathan is a true example of believing in yourself and betting on your authentic self. Through embracing his unique eye for fashion and spreading positivity, he's built a personal brand that inspires thousands. To follow Jonathan's journey, connect with him on Instagram @_jonathankirby and TikTok @jonathan.kirby for a dose of style and motivation. Support us and Join our Monthly Zoom on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and others on Discord: https://discord.com/invite/7jwmTemc5y

Nate & Susie tackle your questions in this episode, including some of the toughest questions after coming out: Should you keep your Christian friends who don’t affirm your sexuality, and how do you know when to come out? In this heartfelt Q&A, they share personal experiences and strategies for navigating relationships with love and authenticity. Plus, they explore how to foster understanding in faith communities while staying true to yourself. Support us and Join our Monthly Zoom on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and others on Discord: ⁠ https://discord.gg/7jwmTemc5y

In this heartfelt conversation, Nate and Susie sit down with Al, a former Jehovah’s Witness who lost everything the moment his family and faith community learned he was gay. Disfellowshipped and cut off, Al shares what it felt like to watch the people he loved most simply vanish from his life. But this isn’t just a story about what he lost—it’s also about what he’s created in the aftermath. Al found healing in the kitchen, channeling his roots and international influences into his own micro bakery. Learn more about Al's food at https://www.instagram.com/painpanbakery/ Support us and Join our Monthly Zoom on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and others on Discord: ⁠ https://discord.gg/5jVTkdUm

Jane Clementi’s world shattered when she lost her son Tyler to bullying for being gay. She decided she was going on a mission to make sure no other family goes through the same pain, and she started a non-profit to help end bullying. In this episode, Jane shares her journey from grief to activism, why she believes LGBTQ+ kids need to be fully embraced, and how she found her faith again after leaving a church that condemned her son. Tyler Clementi Foundation: TylerClementi.org Support us and Join our Monthly Zoom on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and others on Discord: ⁠ https://discord.gg/5jVTkdUm

Colby Martin, author of Unclobber, shares his story of deconstruction and reconstruction on this episode. He then teaches on how to rebuild your faith and pick up the pieces after the very common deconstruction process we go through when coming out. Find Colby at: https://www.colbymartinonline.com/ Support us and Join our Monthly Zoom on Patreon: patreon.com/c/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and others on Discord:  https://discord.gg/7jwmTemc5y

The results of this election took many of us in the LGBTQ community by surprise and have hit a lot of us pretty hard. Brit Barron joins us to talk about how we’re feeling in the aftermath and to share a word of hope. Finally, we discuss how to approach the holidays with family members who have different viewpoints and how to navigate those conversations. Check Out Brit's books at: https://www.britbarron.com/ Support us and Join our Monthly Zoom on Patreon: patreon.com/c/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and others on Discord: https://discord.gg/7jwmTemc5y

Growing up Conor knew he was different but tried to convince himself he wasn’t. After battling with mental health for years, he finally had to come to terms with the fact that he was gay. Coming out, he believed celibacy was the right choice for his life and his faith. He shares what that journey is like, and discusses why it was still important for him to come out of the closet, even if he still intends to stay single. Support us and Join our Monthly Zoom on Patreon: patreon.com/c/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and others on Discord: https://discord.gg/ZDHCNEQc

When Simon heard Alana's story, a devout catholic girl who took her life, he knew it needed to be told. After hearing her journey with conversion therapy, and having a similar journey himself, he decided to see what he could do to get it out there. He pulled together stories from her friend's, family, and journals and made the podcast Dear Alana. Winning several awards and touching thousands of hearts, this story made a huge impact when it released. We interview Simon on his journey making the podcast and how making it changed his life. https://discord.gg/DcaTx45V https://www.patreon.com/c/ITriedtoBeStraight https://dearalana.com/

Kristyn Komarnicki was working for a Christian magazineabout to publish an article about why being gay is not of God. Rather than running the article, she felt it was her duty to do the research. For her that meant gathering a group of gays and Christians with different opinions to actually hear what their experiences were. Realizing the depth of connection and the need for these conversations, she continues gathering groups to build empathy and awareness for queer members of the church 15 years later. Support us and Join our Monthly Zoom on Patreon: patreon.com/c/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and others on Discord: https://discord.gg/ZDHCNEQc Reach out to Kristyn: https://christiansforsocialaction.org/programs/oriented-to-love/

Retired NFL Offensive Tackle Ryan O'Callaghan, lived in a community where coming out of the closet wasn't an option. After realizing he was gay, he joined sports at a young age to hide his sexuality. Getting to retirement he finally reached a breaking point and made the decision to come out. Support us and Join our Monthly Zoom on Patreon: patreon.com/c/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and others on Discord: https://discord.gg/vWXPcAgq

Author, Pastor, and Speaker Brandan Robertson shares why being gay and Christian makes perfect sense. We also chat about how queer people have helped change the church for the better, and the progress we've seen in the church over the last several years. Support us and join our monthly Zoom at www.patreon.com/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and other for free at www.discord.gg/7jwmTemc5y Brandan's Website: brandanrobertson.com

Sexologist Meg Cowan shares how purity culture affected her growing up in the church, how she found healing and how she started helping others find healing as well. She shares how purity culture can affect closeted gays and how to live a healthy sex life after coming out of the closet after shutting it down for so long. Support us and join our monthly Zoom at www.patreon.com/ITriedtoBeStraight Chat with us and other for free at www.discord.gg/7jwmTemc5y Meg's Website: www.megcowan.com

Shortly after getting saved as a gay youth, John Smid buried his sexuality and joined the leadership team in a conversion therapy program at Love in Action. After years leading the program, he finally comes to terms with the fact that no one was finding any success changing their sexuality, and starts asking big questions about what they're doing in the program.Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/ITriedtoBeStraightChat with us and other for free on Discord: discord.gg/7jwmTemc5y

We're back! Season 2 is here and we're so happy to be back with you all. Take a look at what we've got in store for Season 2 in the teaser, and episode 1 will be here next week!

It's just Susie and Nate for the Season 1 finale! We dig into how our faith has evolved through the podcast and dig into what we believe healthy dating looks like. Also is it ok for your identity to be rooted in your sexuality?Chat with us and others on Discord!https://discord.gg/7jwmTemc5y

Melody Rachel shares how she grew in her relationship with Jesus when she accepted her sexuality. Gay Christian podcasters interviewing another gay Christian podcaster. This is a fun one! Chat with us and others: https://discord.gg/7jwmTemc5y

Pastor's daughter, Brittany was set to live the perfect Christian life, hoping to follow in her father's footsteps as a preacher. Life took a different turn when she realized she was a lesbian. She started a journey of prayer and fasting, doing whatever she could to try and stop being gay. Chat with us and others for free on Discord - https://discord.gg/7jwmTemc5y

Rénald Kent was leading worship at several churches before he realized he could no longer suppress being gay. After coming out on his podcast, he loses every upcoming worship gig in one night. He shares why even after losing everything his relationship with God is stronger than ever. Find him on the Not Safe For Church Podcast or at IG @renoldkent

Jennifer Knapp dominated the Christian music charts winning several Dove awards and more. In the midst of it all, she finally came to terms with her sexuality and realized she was going to have to risk it all to be honest with herself. She shares how she kept her faith, and has a stronger walk with God than ever. Learn more about Jennifer at jenniferknapp.com And join our community on our free chat room at: https://discord.gg/XDVg2a2J

Susie's friend Mason joins us to share his coming out story. Growing up in the church, he tried to be straight for several years, until finally he realized he wasn't being honest with himself. Determined to discover his sexuality, Mason set out into the dating scene to see if he was really gay and what do to with his faith. Chat with us and others in the I Tried to Be Straight Community - (Free) https://discord.gg/CBBuMvXW

JJ Gerber grew up in the church and built a career in the as a Christian musician and actor. Eventually realizing he couldn't stay in the closet anymore he came out and realized his opportunities in the church would slowly disappear.

Dr. Laura, PhD. religious trauma expert and author of When Religion Hurts You shares her experience with religious trauma growing up in the evangelical church, and how it effects the LGBTQ community. She then offers some practical advice on how to start healing from church trauma. Check out her book at drlauraeanderson.com/book

Brit Barron was pastoring at a mega church when she fell in love with a girl. After wrestling with what to do, she overcame her fears of coming out and decided to give it all up for what she believed in. Check out her first book, Worth It at the link below, and keep an eye out for her 2nd book coming soon! https://a.co/d/4NmOtLB

Speaker and author, Jonathan Merritt, joins us on the podcast to share his story of getting outed in the church as a pastor's kid. He shares how he found himself, pushed through and became the successful writer he is today. He shares his brand new children's book. My Guncle and Me, a beautifully illustrated story of acceptance and love. You can find the book at: https://amzn.to/3V1yvbX

Cade grew up in the Catholic church and decided to commit to the priesthood when he realized he was gay. After getting rejected from the Priesthood, he started to realize there was no place for him within the Catholic church.

Susie's sister Brenda joins us for a special dialogue about growing up with Susie and how she knew Susie was bi all along. Then we dig into a particularly rough comment battle Nate dealt with on Instagram last week and discuss what to do in those situations.

Timm suppressed his sexuality for years, got married and started a family. He finally came to terms with being gay at 45 years old and shares his story of navigating that with his family.

Speaker and ex evangelical pastor Brian Recker shares why he couldn't keep rejecting gay people in his church, and how he lost everything when he started accepting them.

Michelle comes on to the podcast to share her coming out story for the first time online! She grew up in Texas in a conservative home, and then moved to Redding to go to Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry alongside Nate. Eventually working at Bethel Worship department, and finally realizing she was gay at 30 years old!

Reverend Dave from Scotland shares how he changed his position on the gay community after years of Biblical study and getting to know gay believers.

When Christian singer and speaker Staci Frenes learned her child was gay, she found her faith and dreams for the future collapsing around her. We discuss how she came to terms with her child's sexuality and learned to accept them for who they were. Learn more about her book and her story at stacifrenes.com

Matt another pastor's kid, and a friend of Nate's from men's purity group, shares his coming out story, and some words of wisdom on the pod.

Pastor Erin and worship leader Chelsea, from Live On Purpose church share their journey of falling in love while in the evangelical church, losing everything, and then leaving and starting a family and a progressive church of their own.

Susie and Nate dig into more of their coming out stories and then switch into a discussion on what it means to be Christian and gay and the attacks and doubts they've had to wrestle through.