If I Had a Million

Send a textThe Lord works in mysterious ways, and Gil has come to accept his fate. Sometimes it's the small pleasures in life that make it worthwhile, like going for a drive anywhere off your property for the first time in years, in a car that's lost its mind. 

Send a textGil has taken a life of leisure in his home, in which he shares much of his time with his grandson. Dan appears to be in good health, and Melvin has gone back to the mainland. A two hundred foot diameter is all a man needs. Am I right? 

Send a textGil is starting to feel his age, and Arron Bekker calls again. But his timing isn't great. Or maybe it's perfect. 

Send a textThe big day has arrived, but nothing ever goes as planned. Yet with Frank leading the way, it gives Gil the confidence to push through.  

Send a textGil has another difficult request for Frank, but this time Melvin is there to back him up. 

Send a textMost graveyard experiences aren't pleasant, but Gil's always seem way more complicated than they should be. 

Send a textThe good Reverend goes missing and Melvin and Gil decide they need to have a conversation with his replacement. Well, it's more Melvin's decision, but Gil is at his side. And terrified. Everything is unraveling. 

Send a textGil reveals something at the next v-cast that perhaps he should have kept to himself, but the repercussions are unusual. For him and his grandson. 

Send a textGil and his young friends decide to give a helping hand to a man in need. Not that the man deserves it, or appreciates it, or is even a real man. 

Send a textFrank attempts to strike a deal with Gil and Melvin, but the one voice of sanity is not prepared for the pushback.  

Send a textGil and his grandson are back in the v-cast. The insightful Park has some interesting questions as always, but Gil's answers don't disappoint. Sometimes even on purpose. 

Send a textGil gets an unexpected visitor, and things get a little scary. But sometimes good things are scary. 

Send a textFrancis is causing tension in Yi and Gil feels like it's his fault. Maybe it is. Or maybe Francis is a troubled kid. After all, they did torture Joseph Stalin. 

Send a textGil's newest "guests" will not follow orders. Or advice. Or just general common sense. But at least they can speak in tongues. 

Send a textGil revisits the past in the next episode of Park's v-cast. But his biggest fear is that the past might visit him.  

Send a textOnce again, Gil dons the Occip and enters the Song Dynasty with his posse. There are many strange sights and sounds as they approach the city. But strangest of all is a mysterious old man who knows more than he should. 

Send a textGil's latest "guests" might actually be less intelligent than the last ones. None of them are getting any easier to deal with. But at least his new relationship is taking the edge off...or sharpening it, depending on how one looks at it. Either way, Newfoundland is nowhere near Finland!

Send a textWith more "work" on the horizon, Gil figures it's time for another visit to his wife's grave. This time he'll keep Dan in the car. Not that this keeps Amy's lifestone from finding other reasons to be angry with him. 

Send a textGoing to church is usually a predictable experience, but not always. The thing about the American immigrants is that although they might come from the same side of the border, they might not be from the same side of the war.  

Send a textWith Gil's strange guests staying in the shed it's not easy for him and Melvin to relax. But at least the visitors are keeping quiet. Maybe a little too quiet. 

Send a textRescuing Magas on the open ocean is a harrowing task. And you never know who or what you might get. Some Americans might be more easy to get along with than others, but that's not important. What's important is that Melvin, Gil, and Reverend Tom are doing the Lord's work. One of them might even understand his pain.    

Send a textGil, Melvin, and Park attend church, but Melvin is not there to get the glory in him. Not that kind of glory anyway. Things are setting in motion and he is all in. 

Send a textGil visits his son, Melvin, in the border town of Windsor, Ontario. After all, talking in person is the only true way to have a private conversation these days. Park and Dan come along as well. The strong military presence is a little unnerving, but at least the pool is great. Anything to take the weight off Gil and Dan's old bones. 

Send a textAlcohol might be a shortcut to courage, but there's a heavy price to pay. And waking up on the floor is only one of them in Gil's case. Will Reverend Tom help him out? Will he ever let Dan lick his face again? Will Melvin stop calling him a cheapskate? Listen and find out. 

Send a textGil decides that in order to pursue his goals he needs to ask a favour of a tormentor from his past. This opens old wounds that he thought had healed, and creates new ones. Sort of. 

Send a textIf there's one thing that should be a moment of thoughtful repose, it's visiting a loved one's grave. Unfortunately, this isn't the case for Gil Abrams. With talking lifestones, a nosey dog, and a weaponized purse, it's anything but. 

Send a textThings are starting to level off, and the money isn't pouring in like Gil had hoped. What are his options? His recent v-cast with Park reminds him that there might only be one, or even worse, perhaps it was all a scam.  

Send a textGil is rattled, but it's obvious God is watching over him. He could be behind bars. He could be drowned. Or even worse, his son. Gil has certainly learned a few things on his foray into the world of human smuggling. And not only that he should always bring a change of clothes.  

Send a textThe big day has arrived. But not for Gil. He simply doesn't have the nerve. Although watching his son risk it all is already enough to keep him up all night. Will God protect Melvin and Reverend Tom? Who the good Lord chooses as his instruments is mysterious indeed. Some might say reckless.  

Send a textBallsacks, Nutsacks, and Dogecoin, three of the many essential financial terms one must learn to keep up in the second half of the twenty-first century. It's just that Gil wonders if he wants to. Especially when he finds out they are types of currency. But strange or not, they are flowing into his Gimmee account. If it wasn't for the worry of his son risking his life on the open ocean Gil might even be excited.  

Send a textReverend Tom has a big favour to ask of Gil. One that carries the potential for great reward —some might even say salvation, depending on how you look at it. But with every reward comes risk, one that may not be worth the chance unless a hard case like Melvin gets wind of it.   

Send a textGil has a lot on his plate. Emojoe, the A.I manager from EverythingStore dangles a "friendly" fleeting offer too good (or horrible depending on how you look at it) to ignore. Meanwhile, his car is losing its marbles, and he's promised Park a v-cast interview. With the Emojoe offer, the house, the v-cast, and the new Gimmee account Park set up, Gil might actually once again be a handsome young man. Well, not so much the handsome part.  

Send a textGil receives an exciting and strange phone call while scrubbing a toilet at the high school. If it's real, it changes everything and convinces him that God must have a hand in it. Later, he strikes a deal with Park, and with his new friends, he once again finds himself traversing the strange world of Yi in the ancient Song Dynasty. It's so beautiful that even dragon genitalia can't ruin it.  

Send a textGil has a few people at his house for the first time since Amy died. It's his grandson's friends, but company is company. Anything is better than the silence and boredom. But it's not until he hops into the virtual world of Yi with them that he realizes what he has been missing all these years. "Video games" have come a long way. Bang!  

Send a textMuch to Melvin's disappointment, Gil decides he is going to take the leap and sell his home. Only then will he have enough money to buy the one thing that money could never buy in the past. Talent? No. Wisdom? Nope. A cure for cancer? Okay maybe there's a lot of things money can't buy. In this case it's youth. Gil is going to buy his youth back.

Send a textGil decides to let the real-estate agent take a look at his place. It doesn't take long for her to get him excited about the possible rise in his bank account, considering it will more than quadruple his life-savings. Meanwhile one of the greatest achievements in human history unfolds in an online press conference, and Gil watches every second of it. 

Send a textBecause of boredom and loneliness, Gil decides to return to his old job as a janitor at the local high school and even try out new employment as a part-time greeter at EverythingStore. It's there that he runs into a real estate agent who assures him that, due to the recent influx of American immigrants, Gil's ocean-view land is worth a lot more money than he realized. Maybe a few extra dollars wouldn't go astray, especially with the recent rumours of a new "de-aging treatment" on the market. 

Send a textIt's been a little over six months since Amy died, and elderly Gil Abrams is trying to adjust to life alone. Not that he's completely alone. "The Cat" and his dog, Dan, are there to keep him company, but they're not exactly spring chickens either. Only for his faith, life might seem meaningless. And only for McDonald's he may not eat another warm meal.  

Send a textIn this brief introduction, Lig, A.I shadow for Gil Abrams, describes how he convinced his reluctant imprint to tell his story about his grand adventure smuggling American immigrants into Newfoundland in order to obtain enough yuan to buy the de-aging treatment.