Innovating Masculinity

As a 22-year college student, I sometimes think about having children(SEVERAL years down the line), but I NEVER think about mental health during pregnancy.  In this episode of Innovating Masculinity, I found out that many men are equally oblivious. However, experts hope to change that narrative to ensure that men take care of themselves and their families during this significant life transition.  I had the pleasure of discussing mental health during the pre/postnatal period in men and women with leading researcher and program designer Dr. Deborah Da Costa. Dr. Da Costa shares her research findings, discusses her revolutionary online parent education program, and her new role as Chief Mindfulness officer for the startup Open Meditation.  Even if you’re like me and you’ve never thought about mental health during pregnancy, this episode is illuminating on so many levels, and I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed recording. Thank you again Dr. Da Costa!

Part 2 of my episode series on shame and entitlement. Tune into this episode for more personal stories as well as an actionable framework for using shame as a signal for growth instead of turning to entitlement for the quick fix.

Shame is a feeling of personal regret. It never feels good, but sometimes, it’s exactly what we need to hear.  For example, if you sleep through your cousin's wedding, missing 20 calls from your parents who are waiting to pick you up, shame is the emotion that tells your body, “Hey, don’t be an inconsiderate little shit ever again. It makes you feel bad.” However, we live in a world of surface-level solutions to deep-rooted problems.  In the scenario where I missed my cousin's wedding, I took the easy way out. Instead of sitting in my shame, apologizing, and promising to grow, I said, “I don’t care about their dumb wedding, and I can do whatever I want, so F them.” An apathetic, “manly” response indeed. At that moment, I felt a sense of entitlement, and all my shame was washed away. But it was only gone for the moment and came back to bite me.  When we refuse to sit in the fire of our toughest emotions, we also refuse to learn the lesson they are trying to teach us.  If men want to use their emotions to get stronger, we need to learn to accept and process them in a way that builds emotional muscle instead of masking our weaknesses.  Tune into this week's Innovating Masculinity episode to hear more of my cringe-worthy shame-entitlement experiences and some actionable tools for using shame to learn and grow. 

Young men, and men in general, don’t feel valued and respected. In a study on male suicides, experts found that men cited feeling “worthless” and “useless” as the top reasons for choosing to take their own life.  But why aren’t men feeling respected? Is there something structural lurking beneath the surface of these tragedies?  I don’t know everything about what makes men feel respected, but I know that feeling valuable in our professional lives and our close relationships are both big factors. Unfortunately for modern men, both job competence and emotional connection are becoming harder and harder. According to work by Brookings Institute researcher Richard Reaves, many respectable “male-dominated” professions, like construction, trades, and manufacturing, are considered “less than” when compared to white-collar jobs. On top of that, they're also disappearing due to automation. Emotional connection is foreign to many men because of the way we’re socialized, and few options are available to help guys develop strong relationships with themselves, their loved ones, and their communities. Men still cause problems I’m not somehow saying men are suddenly the victims, but I am saying we’re facing unique struggles. And helping men solve those struggles will lead to fewer problems. Whether we need to pursue different sources of professional fulfillment or do some serious self-work to build stronger relationships, something has to change.  Tune into this episode to hear my thoughts on how men can take action to change today.

Is the solution to men’s struggle’s “more vulnerability?” While I strongly encourage vulnerability, men sometimes open up to someone who doesn’t know how to respond to their struggles.  In a world that’s epitomized male strength for thousands of years, we all may need to work on our relationship with male vulnerability.  In my conversation with Maria Kamila, founder and CEO of ELEMENT (a sustainable clothing brand), we discussed the nuances of hearing and seeing men when they need it most.  We also dive into the nuanced effects of fast fashion on our culture and our minds. A fascinating conversation, you're sure to love as much as I did!

Oliver Anwar is one of the biggest names in the fitness industry on Twitter. As a fitness guru, Oliver had invaluable advice on training and diet that everyone can follow to grow muscle and live a healthy life. However, his anecdotes on body image as a fitness influencer and dealing with the pressure of life as a public figure were truly insightful. He shared his mindset towards maintaining a great physique while enjoying life’s pleasures and his approach to online haters.  So for anyone interested in how big-time influencers deal with the pressure to succeed and keep up appearances, this episode gives you a first-hand look at how Oliver handles both with poise.  Click the link in my bio to tune in now!

How do we find our purpose? To many men are struggling without help to answer this all-important question. Unfortunately, there is no purpose machine that magically endows everyone with their life’s mission. Our purpose is forged in the throws of struggle, not the comfort of safety.  But how do we jump into the throws of struggle when not even clear why we’re doing it? This week’s solo episode of Innovating Masculinity, “How to Kickstart Your Personal Transformation,” is all about answering that question.  I discuss my personal framework for growth and give you some tools for restoring a sense of agency to your life with incremental progress.  Tune in to get started on your growth journey.  Link in my bio to listen now!

Welcome to my 4th guest and earliest supporter, the great Helen Telahun! This episode is entertaining and dynamic, with topics ranging from men’s and women’s expressions of anger to creative writing practices to startup culture on college campuses.  Helen is a driven and compassionate individual. We discuss her startup, Article 26, and her mission to bring resources to underserved communities.  This episode offers a glimpse into the mind of one of my greatest friends, and I hope you all enjoy hearing our conversation.

Innovating Masculinity is not just a podcast. It’s the future of masculinity.But before we talk about the future, it’s helpful to understand the present. What is the current state of masculinity in the modern era?The Toxic Masculinity movement shed light on the flaws of traditional masculinity, but it also demonized masculinity altogether. On the flip side, the Red Pill Masculinity movement tried to take men back to the “good ole days” but brought back with it all the bad parts of masculinity.Both are seriously flawed.The Positive Masculinity Movement…Which you probably haven’t heard of…Has missed the mark and doesn’t speak to men.Newcomers Biblical and Stoic Masculinity are looking to bring men the help they need through a renaissance of men’s spirituality…But they can be exclusive and weaponized. More on these two in the episode.Needless to say, something is still missing. What do we need to do to put together the pieces of a new and improved expression of masculinity that actually reaches men?On this week’s episode of Innovating Masculinity, I discuss all 5 movements of masculinity and offer my take on the future of Masculinity –spoiler alert–it’s “Innovative.”Listen now from the link in my bio!

This week's guest episode with Josh Fisher is an absolute gold mine for any struggling young men, future fathers, or aspiring entrepreneurs.Josh and his wife both brought 4 children to their marriage (yes, that's 8 kids), and a recent career shift led him to go all in on his cyber security startup, IRIDIUM. On top of juggling 8 kids, marriage, and startup hustle, Josh found time to sit down with me and guide me through the difficulties of fatherhood and the ups and downs of entrepreneurship. Additionally, Josh and I shared stories of overcoming social anxiety through action. This episode is packed with valuable insights and helpful tools.A truly humble guy, my conversation with Josh is a fantastic example of the open and productive dialogue men need to have with each other. I hope you all enjoy our conversation as much as I did!

Only 1 in 3 men with mental health problems will seek treatment. I struggled with anxiety and substance abuse in silence even though I had supportive friends and family around me. Would you be surprised to hear that the medical system, which is supposed to keep us happy and healthy, contributes to this epidemic of male silence? In this episode we discuss the nuances of male silence and what factors contribute to it continued effects on men of all ages.

Episode Description for Spotify: In this eye-opening episode of Innovating Masculinity, we explore the taboo topic of male job discrimination and how it intersects with societal expectations and pressures. While acknowledging the undeniable hurdles women face, we delve into the unique but often overlooked challenges men encounter in their professional lives. Pressure to provide, succeed, and conform to traditional ideas of masculinity doesn't just weigh on men—it suffocates them. How do we navigate this unseen but deeply felt form of discrimination? Tune in as we dissect the insidious effects of invisible societal pressures and outline a path for stepping outside the oppressive systems we've built. It's time for a change, and it starts with each of us.

Ever wonder if you’re on the right path, personally, professionally, or otherwise? You’re not alone.  In fact, my second guest Namit has walked many paths. From being a top med-school candidate to a tech consultant at Ernst and Young, and now to an entrepreneur creating tech solutions for small businesses, all before the age of 23, he’s passed on many opportunities in search of something more true to himself.  However, with this myriad of promising opportunities, how did he decide which one is truly best? His answer is an invaluable piece of advice for anyone looking to make a change:  “There is no right path, there is only your path.” Namit is a courageous guy who doesn’t shy away from challenges. He takes risks across the domains of life. He’s not afraid to start a business from nothing or be vulnerable and lean on his family and friends in times of struggle.  Our conversation will give insight into Namit’s story, which will positively inspire you to forget about the RIGHT path and start pursuing YOUR path. 

In this episode, I discuss the assumptions and misconceptions around “Innovation,” and “Masculinity.” By challenging the very definitions of these words, we're capitalizing on the most rapid period of change in history. We are reimagining what it means to solve problems and “be a man,” for future generations.  It's time for new solutions to age-old problems. It's time for new ideas about antiquated values. It's time, for Innovating Masculinity.

If you’re an aspiring entrepreneur, content creator, or self-improvement nut, this episode offers a first-hand look at how a high performer approaches all three of those pillars. My first-ever guest, Jonathan is a dynamic and genuine guy, which made for an open and honest discussion about the highs and lows of startup life, the transformative power of therapy, and the often-overlooked challenges of content creation. In our discussion, he provides clarity on the emotional “punches” entrepreneurs have to roll with, and we connect on how to navigate self-growth throughout life’s rollercoasters. After leaving his prestigious job at Deloitte, Jonathan went all in on life and co-founded Kahana, a revolutionary SaaS platform. It's a game-changer for social media creators, allowing them to monetize content that otherwise might never see the light of day.

We’ve all made mistakes, and some of us have made ones big enough that we’ve received an unpleasant wake-up call. Usually, it’s because we’ve hurt another person or even ourselves. In this episode, I highlight the most common cause of harmful behavior and discuss several strategies to grow from this experience that proved effective in my life and in the lives of those around me. If you’re ready to take the initiative to improve from your past action this episode is for you!

Entrepreneurs are the pro athletes of the business world. Both athletes and big-time founders get to profit from their passion at the highest level while the world watches. Both have immense influence and with that, a duty to be the best role models they can be for younger generations. Listen as I discuss how male entrepreneurs can redefine the pinnacle of achievement and the positive effects they can have on future generations of change-makers.

This episode sheds light on the complexity of entrepreneurship and highlights the underappreciated first step in many entrepreneurial journeys. Listen as I explore the contradictory combination of hope and fear that characterizes the life of a pre-idea, pre-business, "pre-entrepreneur."