Just Ask Juliet

Companies should be investing in developing their employees and it doesn't happen often enough. So when it does, people might feel like they need to show their appreciation in ways beyond just doing their very best work. A good question to ask yourself is this: where have I seen loyalty to a corporation really benefit an employee?

Needing a job you don't want to go to everyday is a super tough spot to be in and finding a new job never seems to happen fast enough! But there are some things you can do to affect your mindset and they're not woo-woo; they're real action steps.

If you have difficult to manage in-laws, it can really test your relationship. But plenty of people have them and figure out ways to deal with them in a way that doesn't get everyone in a kerfuffle. They may think it's okay for them to pop on over whenever they want, but it's not. It's actually quite rude.

People get so excited to live together, they often don't stop to consider what's involved if it doesn't work out. They've never had a relationship where they did NOT break up and they still don't ask themselves this question. The assumption is being unmarried makes everything else easier and in reality it doesn't.

The new friendship stage can feel kind of fragile. Especially if it's been a while since you've welcomed someone new into your social circle. It also takes a good amount of time before you know if someone will be a good travel companion. And is there anything worse than being in a fabulous place with someone who's making you miserable?

The first thing this question makes me think of is 'be careful what you wish for.' Getting to know someone's family is a critical factor in deciding if you want him to be your life partner but there's another question to consider here --- how soon is too soon?

This is a hard thing to witness -- to watch a friend almost become someone else every time she steps into a relationship. But are a few things you can try to help her see what she may not even realize what's going on.

It's normal to feel a some anxiety about a big decision like getting married. It means lots of big changes in your life and nobody wants to be careless about it. So how do you know if its "cold feet" or something more significant?

People hate to talk about money and yet it's so central to every partnership relationship. It's good to uncover a red flag early, as long as it's a REAL red flag.

When you can clearly see the sibling you know so well is about to make a big mistake it's natural to want to intervene and spare him the pain and agony you know he'll experience in the future. But does that mean it's the right thing to do?

Howie Mandel once told me that if he'd known how fun it was to have grandchildren, he would've done that first. Perhaps not all grandparents are keen to be that involved with your kids and there's only one way to find out.

Aren't we always looking for the perfect timing to do something? I bet you can put a lot of thought into strategizing the ideal scenario before you begin something. Because if we can just get that part right everything will be easier. But what if the ideal timing is already gone. Should you just give up?

Relationships are always going to be about compromise and not everyone is naturally good at that. It takes a mature, emotionally developed person to be good at compromise. So, if he hasn't learned it by now, is it even possible?

It does take a lot of time, energy and effort to get to know someone. And it can feel deeply disappointing to realize it's not going to work when it seemed like things were going so well. Is there a cheat code for saving time and getting to the stuff that matters faster?

This has been an ongoing struggle for so many of us. It's beyond frustrating when someone you love, and otherwise respect, isn't connecting to a viewpoint on an issue you find to be completely obvious. But it's happening to lots of us everyday and there is a way around it.

Plenty of people think all things astrology are hogwash but I'm not sure any of those people have any direct experience with it. There's an easy way to figure out if it makes sense for you and even if it does it's really just another data point with which to work.

Real friends give us energy, joy, and vitality while being in a room with people you don't connect with does just the opposite. We never want to appear to be deliberately rude and uncaring but fi you have to ride that line to protect your own needs is that okay?

The saying 'you can't push a string' comes to mind and nudging or prodding can sure get irritating. There is always another way. Knowing that a lot of our future health is in our hands can be very empowering.

It never hurts to re-evaluate important decisions, to make sure you're making them for the right reasons, and with marriage in particular that can be hard.

Love languages aren't always a match so we can sometimes feel like we're not exactly in sync. We are continually evolving, learning about ourselves and our partners and that can enhance a relationship so much.

You're working hard at your job, going beyond the assignment, thinking proactively and yet each time that promotions list comes around you're not on it. It's a frustrating situation but what can you do about it? A lot, actually.

Even our closest friends will annoy us from time to time -- especially when we feel like we know them better than they seem to know themselves. So is it a good thing to be really honest with someone in the name of saving them time and energy?

Lawyers in court never ask a question they don't already know the answer to and the same should be true for proposals. If you don't 100% know for certain the answer is going to be yes, don't ask. There's no magic in the act of asking if you have not discussed plans for the future -- but there will be fear and panic.

Men have a lot of their ego wrapped up in their work which is tough to separate. And, of course, in his eyes he's doing all of this for his family so it's easy to see how differing perspectives can lead to a stalemate in this discussion.

It might sound extreme but you know in your heart of hearts you've wanted to fast forward to January just so you could get some rest. So how do you escape from the stress of a holiday that's supposed to be joyous without ruining it for everyone else?

If gift giving is their love language this will be extra difficult. Encouraging them to spend meaningful amounts of time with the kids is always a good place to start. Older folks and young kids make for good company and they go together like a wink and a smile.

It does seem obvious when someone who hasn't been able to shed weight since you've known them suddenly starts dropping clothes sizes without ever joining the gym but does that mean they want to talk about it?

If this feels rude that's only because it is rude. Mom and Dad wouldn't let us read at the dinner table, so is reading a portable screen any better? No. in fact it's way worse.

It's really hard when we love people who have unhealthy addictions. As much as we might try to get them to change their behaviors, it usually ends in frustration because it's difficult to compete with an addiction. It's not impossible to win, but it is double tough.

It's tough to present your best self when your palms are sweaty and your voice is shaky but there's a simple technique that really helps give you confidence.

If it's too much of a sacrifice for your husband to host your parents you've got to find a way to get them excited about the hotel because you don't want to increase his cortisol levels (or yours) anymore than absolutely necessary.

I know only a handful of people who dated seriously and then managed to remain longtime friends after breaking up. There's a reason it doesn't usually work out but that doesn't mean it can't work for you.

This can happen to any one of us, even if you feel like you did the best research. It's tough to know what it's like to work a job inside a company until you're entrenched. It's always a risk and we try our best to mitigate it, but with everyone on their best behavior in the interview process red flags can be elusive.

While it's totally normal to become attracted to people you see frequently that doesn't mean it's incumbent upon you to act on those feelings. You've got to think long term about the potential repercussions. Is this guy so special that you're willing to risk losing your friendship?

How many times have we been to restaurants where people at the same table are not looking at each other but down at their phone screens. It looks ridiculous but they don't notice because they are so busy there's no time to look up!

When you're with someone who has a different weekend style than you it can be tricky. Relationships are about being together but that doesn't mean relinquishing your freedoms and all the things you like to do (or don't do) in favor of what your partner prefers.

It's true that the negotiation process is part of the first impression you're making on your new employer but that doesn't mean you can't ask for what you want. You want to be compensated appropriately -- what sounds greedy about that?

We do not have the complete picture when making decisions under mercury retrograde. It means that we're missing information and since we don't know what we don't know, it's tough to feel great about the decision. Can you be comfortable knowing the picture is incomplete and move forward anyway?

It's interesting how some of our friends seem to lose their entire identity as soon as a romantic relationship enters the picture. And they immerse themselves in his life and forget about or at least set aside those things that would've been important to them in their single life.

This is practical and makes a lot of sense but people don't like it when you mess with their holiday traditions. You might have found that out the hard way when you decided to make something different for Thanksgiving. Never give up, though. Even when change seems impossible you can be surprised.

We really don't like mysteries, which is why we'll stick it out to the end of a show we don't even like -- just to find out what happens. And getting ghosted is personal so in the absence of facts, we come up with all sorts of reasons for it and drive ourselves (& our friends) a little nuts in the process. Confrontations don't usually inspire open dialogue so I suggested a couple of other options she might consider.

People love to tell you the right way to do things and so many would rather be right than kind. There is no manual for the proper way to grieve though plenty of books have been written about it. The death of someone you love breaks you wide open and it seems like people who haven't experienced this are the first ones to tell you exactly how you should handle it.

Sharing clothes is very personal and this is a big ask because we're talking about a beautiful and expensive dress. Borrowing a dress for a fancy event makes a lot of sense, but it comes with a good amount of responsibility. So how do you protect your clothes and not make things uncomfortable?

She's trying to maximize her airline miles by paying for more things on her credit card so this seemed like a no brainer until she didn't get paid back all the way. Conversations about money are no one's favorite but how you treat your money says a lot about how you treat yourself.

Corporate decision-making often doesn't make a lot of sense to its employees. So when you have the chance to improve a situation, it's exciting to share your brilliance with right people! But it might not make progress happen any faster.

The key is in the planning and execution which I think very few of us actually consider when we get excited about making a change. But when is the best time to start a new goal? I'll give you a hint: is definitely not January 1.

This used to be me and I finally got tired of my friends irritation at my being consistently late for whatever our plans were. One day I decided to surprise them by being 10 minutes early. I wasn't, and that's how I figured out the thing I had been doing wrong for years.

It feels like scolding because she's a grown up and really should know better, but our addiction to these devices is a tough nut to crack. And no one wants you to point out their bad behavior! It makes us feel defensive which doesn't mean you shouldn't say anything. You just need to tread lightly.

Most work weeks are so hectic, it's only logical that the to do list for the weekend gets bigger. So big, in fact, you'll never be able to tackle it completely which can leave you with a lingering feeling of disappointment. Being productive is important but so is rest and relaxation. And fun!

When time off is not abundant it can be difficult to see family and take a truly restful holiday in the same year. And there is nothing wrong with telling the people who love you what you need. Controlling their reactions to what you say, however, is a tall order.