Martial Arts of Love

For most of us in an intimate relationship, we are faced with the option to either suffer in the relationship the way it is or we can leave. Is there a real option to change and how can we do so over a longer period? You get practical steps in this podcast if you are up for something else.

We all face uncertainty in life as an intimate couple. What happens to us, and how do we deal with it? Some old patterns usually emerge and an opportunity of making some new more healty patterns arise. This and more will be talked about in this episode.

It is so normal to say that my X is a narcissist or psychopath. What is true, what is trying to cope with the disappointment and/or anger of things not working out? We are usually left with many confusing things after a breakup and the easiest thing is to blame. Let´s explore what is going on, in the name of actually moving on.

We all go through one or more periods of asking the question of whether we should end the relationship or not. Here I share some of the common mistakes I have seen as a couple therapist and some possibilities that arise.

In an intimate relationship we need to have a movement, a dance between our masculine and feminine sides. We both have both sides within us and need to find ways to balance them according to who we are. Thus finding out who we are in ourselves and not just accepting the roles society and inherited family systems have placed on us is an ongoing task, if we want our own relationship to blossom. Here we go through some ways in how we can meet that.

Growing closer in intimate relations. Is it possible? How? A story of what happened and some practical tips if you want to open up for growing closer with your loved one.

Am I turning into my Mum or what is happening? How old patterns confuse us in a way that we actually are unaware of what is me talking or is this my pattern from the past taking over, so I think it is me? If we want to change patterns in our relationship the easiest thing is to blame our partner, and not see our own unconscious patterns. What is making sense? What can we do? Here you get some practical tips.

Is action what is required to sustain and maintain a loving and authentic relationship or not? Or can it be both? The story of Tom and Stella, a couple in their 40s coming to therapy.

Serious illness is something one is faced with in a long term (or short term) relationship. Either yourself or someone you love or are close to. What happens and how do we deal with it? What are the stages of grief and how do these affect the relationship. This episode reveals a very personal story from me.

How to sustain intimacy in a (long term) relationship? What does it mean? Can we affect it? Stay tuned for good suggestions and easy to implement possibilities.

How do we "kiss and make up"? Is there a process we can learn to build a bridge between ourselves and our loved ones? Easy steps and context explained. Most of us con step into this with a more mature mindset, or we can be reminded of what it takes to not let our inner 3 year old be in charge.

What does it take to have a sustainable and empowered love ? Here are some tips and thoughts from relationship therapist Monique Johnsen.

What is possible in connecting after an argument. Tips and insights inside this episode.

Is there a wisdom to the madness that we often experience when we argue with our partner?

Answering a question from the audience. The question reads as follows: In a relationship that leans toward traditional roles yet remains modern and balanced (less than two years in duration), the dynamics involve each partner upholding values traditionally associated with their gender while still sharing everyday responsibilities. For example, the woman often values emotional expressiveness, nurturing support, and the reassurance of having a partner who can provide stability. Even though she might be younger, she brings a level of emotional insight and maturity that isn’t strictly determined by age. On the other hand, the man tends to embrace the role of being a reliable pillar in the relationship—a provider who takes responsibility and ensures stability, both financially and emotionally. This doesn’t mean that household tasks or decision-making are strictly divided by gender; rather, both partners work full-time, share their finances, and plan together. The traditional expectations here lie more in the realm of emotional roles and values: the woman seeks safety and reassurance, while the man feels a duty to be a strong, dependable presence. With these roles in mind, my question is: How can the man manage the pressure of not disappointing his partner? More specifically, where should he draw the line in terms of revealing details about his economic and emotional state? What would be the best balance between maintaining his personal stability while being open enough to foster trust in the relationship, and vice versa?

Answering a question from the audience on what a good boundary might look like and how it might be dealt with. Lisa and David an example from therapy is provided.

This podcast discusses a question raised by the audience - is is possible to be empowered and embrace the difference in your partner. What does it mean to be empowered and can we truly embrace the difference in our partner without loosing ourselves?

Love languages show an easy way to understand and give tools in ensuring a healthy exchange of acts in a relationship. These acts when genuinly applied help fill up your love tank and make you feel seen and heard. When applied in misguided ways it leaves you depleted. Equally it is possible to turn things around consciously.

The podcast discusses the effects of disappointments in a relationship. Disappointments can be a wake- up call and can be caused by expectations based on past experiences or normal societal behaviors. The speaker shares her own experience with disappointments in her relationship and how she learned to handle them. She emphasizes the importance of addressing disappointments directly with the partner rather than avoiding or discussing them with others. It is important to have an inner dialogue and differentiate between small and big disappointments in order to effectively communicate with everybody.