Modern Adoption with Erin & Jess

So often in adoption, there is a rush for an expectant or birth parent to sign a termination of parental rights as soon as the mandatory waiting period has passed. In addition to being a fierce advocate for expectant parents and high ethical standards in adoption, Meshan is a Pregnancy Social Worker with Paths for Families in Maryland, Virginia, and DC. She is an LCSW-C with a degree in Psychology, a minor in  Neuroscience, and her Masters in Social Work.In this episode we also discuss:Pregnancy neuroscience and risk factors for postpartum mood and anxiety disorders The complexities of adoption plans made at the hospitalCrisis decision makingAdoption professionals as choice architects and advocating for better practices in adoptionLinks mentioned:Family Preservation ProjectAdoptChangeEthical Family BuildingThe Turnaway StudyThanks for listening!Love what you're hearing? Don't forget to subscribe to the Modern Adoption podcast and give us a 5-star rating so other people know to listen!Have a topic you want us to talk about or interested in being a guest on the Modern Adoption podcast? Email [email protected]

We are almost at the end of the year and that means we are wrapping up season one of the Modern Adoption podcast and we just want to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who has listened to us, who finds value in the topics we’re talking about and has learned something from us this past year. When we finally decided to jump in and start this podcast, we knew we wanted to be a source of education and a space to tackle tough conversations, and I think we’ve done that this year…and it seems like all of you are loving it too because this podcast has been streamed over 1,000 hours in 2024! So this episode is a highlight reel of some of our favorite moments from 2024, what we’ve learned, and what we’re looking forward to in 2025…but really it’s a thank you to everyone who has tuned in this last year Thanks for listening! Love what you’re hearing? Don’t forget to subscribe to the Modern Adoption podcast so you don’t miss an episode and give us a 5-star rating so other people know to listen! Have a topic you want us to talk about or interested in being a guest on the next season of the Modern Adoption podcast? Email [email protected]

Through every step of the adoption process, there is almost certainly an imbalance of power that doesn’t just affect the adoption process in the moment, it can lead to long-lasting consequences. In most cases, that imbalance of power begins even before any “match” has been made and it starts with the type and amount of information that is shared between adopting families and expectant parents. In this episode of the Modern Adoption Podcast, Erin & Jess are joined by Delphine Veith to discuss the imbalance of power between expectant parents and adopting families and how one adoption agency is working to change that.  Delphine is a licensed clinical social worker and the Program Manager at Open Adoption & Family Services, an agency licensed in Washington and Oregon, where she is a fierce advocate for expectant parents, open adoption, and a high ethical standard in adoption. In this episode we also discuss: How the exchange of information affects power dynamics in adoption Why vulnerability in adoption can be so difficult The importance of providing more information to expectant parents Links Mentioned: Open Adoption & Family Service Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood Modern Adoption Podcast with Gretchen Sisson Thanks for listening! Love what you’re hearing? Don’t forget to subscribe to the Modern Adoption podcast and if you want to give us a holiday gift, subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and give us a 5-star rating so other people know to listen! Have a topic you want us to talk about or interested in being a guest on the Modern Adoption podcast? Email [email protected]

We’re heading into the holiday season, and that means it’s time for family dinners and holiday parties with well meaning family members, friends and co-workers wanting to know all of the details about how your adoption journey is going. In this special holiday episode of the Modern Adoption podcast, Erin & Jess dive into how to navigate difficult conversations during the holiday season - from equipping you with how to respond (if you want to), but also acknowledging that it’s okay to just say no sometimes. We also talk about: Tips for getting through the holiday season while you’re waiting Ways to answer uncomfortable questions from well-meaning family members The importance of protecting your child’s story Holiday gifting for birth families & our Holiday Gift Guide Links Mentioned: Holiday Gift Guide Thanks for listening! Love what you’re hearing? Don’t forget to subscribe to the Modern Adoption podcast and if you want to give us a holiday gift, subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and give us a 5-star rating so other people know to listen! Have a topic you want us to talk about or interested in being a guest on the Modern Adoption podcast? Email [email protected] 

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, we wanted to share a story we hope will bring a smile to your face and possibly make you shed a tear or two, but ultimately we hope it will inspire you to support your child’s curiosity surrounding their adoption story and birth family. In today’s episode of the Modern Adoption Podcast, Erin & Jess are joined by Bethany Ayer, an adoptee in reunion with her birth family. Bethany shares her story from not wanting to talk about adoption as a child, to reconnecting with her birth mom at 19, how her mom supported her every step of the way, to now proudly sharing her adoption story (for the first time EVER!). In this episode we also discuss: Navigating complex emotions in adoption The impact of curiosity & openness in adoption Making space for guilt & grief in adoption Navigating curiosity & grief in adoption Thanks for listening! Love what you’re hearing? Don’t forget to subscribe to the Modern Adoption podcast and give us a 5-star rating so you never miss an episode! Have a topic you want us to talk about or interested in being a guest on the Modern Adoption podcast? Email [email protected]

In today’s world, there are so many different avenues to share your family’s adoption journey. You can have an online profile in multiple places, a website, a profile video, a profile book, you can utilize social media…the options for outreach on your adoption journey sometimes feel endless. But with the widespread availability of online profiles and profile videos, you have to wonder…are profile books a thing of the past? In this episode of the Modern Adoption Podcast, Erin & Jess dive deep into profile books. We discuss the role of profile books in the adoption process, some of the biggest mistakes and misconceptions, and we even talk about the role of AI in adoption (spoiler alert - we HATE it!).  We also talk about: What is a profile book & do you need one? Why are profile books so expensive? How to DIY your profile book Have videos replaced profile books? Top tips for creating your profile book Have questions about your profile book, or need help creating one? Visit PairTree or reach out to Jess directly at [email protected] to get started! Thanks for listening! Love what you’re hearing? Don’t forget to subscribe to the Modern Adoption podcast and give us a 5-star rating so you never miss an episode! Have a topic you want us to talk about or interested in being a guest on the Modern Adoption podcast? Email [email protected]

If you are a prospective adoptive parent, one of the first big questions you’ll discuss on your adoption journey is ‘what are you open to?’ or ‘what are your preferences in a match?’ In this episode of the Modern Adoption Podcast, Erin & Jess are joined by Kathryn Russell to discuss adoption preferences and the impact they can have on a families adoption journey. Kathryn is a licensed master social worker and the Director of Absolute Love Adoptions in Pennsylvania, where she is an incredible home study provider and educator, and fierce advocate for expectant and birth parents. In this episode we discuss: Understanding adoption preferences The role of home study providers & having difficult conversations The impact & ethics of gender preferences in adoption Navigating racial dynamics in adoption The importance of education in adoption Links mentioned in this episode: The Child Preferences "Checklist" Absolute Love Adoptions

China’s recent ban on international adoption has been dominating the adoption news cycle, but that’s not the only big news that’s happened in adoption in the last couple of weeks. In this episode of the Modern Adoption Podcast, Erin & Jess dive into a recent letter sent from the Federal Trade Commission to 31 adoption intermediaries. We break down what the letter said, real life examples of some of the violations mentioned in the letter, and talk about what is an adoption intermediary. We also discuss: The role of an adoption consultant Deceptive practices in adoption How to know if you're working with an intermediary Links Mentioned in this Episode: FTC Letter FTC Press Release Time Baby Brokers Article Stepping Out of Adoptions Shadow 25 Questions to Ask Your Adoption Professional Open Adoption Agreement by State Ethical Family Building & AdoptChange

Adoption law is complex and nuanced, and the role of an attorney in the adoption process is vital in helping to navigate the legal complexities of adoption. In this episode of the Modern Adoption Podcast, Erin & Jess are joined by Diana Schimmel, a Partner with Martine, Katz, Scanlon and Schimmel, a boutique family law firm in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. At MKSS, Diana specializes in adoption and family formation law. In this episode we discuss: Unethical practices in adoption and adoption friendly states; ICPC process; Post-Adoption Contact Agreements - from deciding what you're open to, how that affects your journey, and enforceability; How an Adoption Attorney can support you throughout the adoption process. To get in touch with Diana, visit https://familylawmks.com/ or follow them on social media @mkssfamilylaw Episode disclaimer: Even though this episode includes an interview with a licensed attorney, nothing in this episode should be considered legal advice.

We want to preface this episode by saying the cost of domestic infant adoption in the United States is too high, but we also realize that the high costs associated with adoption aren’t going to change overnight. We still want to help adopting families financially prepare for their adoption journey.  In this episode of the Modern Adoption Podcast, Erin & Jess are joined by Matt Joyner, a Certified Financial Planner based in the Pacific Northwest. Matt is passionate about adoption and has prioritized helping adopting families understand and financially plan for their adoption journey. In this episode we discuss: The value in having a financial planner help on your adoption journey. Education accounts - what are they & when to set one up. Withdrawing from/borrowing against your 401K/IRA. The Adoption Tax Credit. Links Mentioned: ⁠Get in Touch with Matt⁠ ⁠Matt’s Adoption Financial Planning Guide⁠ ⁠PairTree’s Complete Guide to Affording Adoption⁠ ⁠Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption⁠ ⁠Adoption Tax Credit⁠ Episode Disclaimer: This recording is limited to the dissemination of general information pertaining to adoption planning. Nothing presented within constitutes specific investment advice, tax or accounting advice, legal, insurance or regulatory advice, or an offer to sell or a solicitation of an offer to buy any security. While reasonable efforts were used to obtain information from sources believed to be reliable, Fortis Capital Advisors, LLC makes no representation that the information or opinions contained in these materials are accurate, reliable, or complete. All information and opinions contained in this presentation are subject to change without notice. Investment Advice is offered through Fortis Capital Advisors, LLC, 7301 Mission Road, Suite 326, Prairie Village, KS 66208.

We say all the time - parenting an adopted child is different from parenting a biological one and today we’re going to talk about why that is. In this episode of the Modern Adoption podcast, we are joined today by Jessica Johnson of Root and Revive Wellness.  Jessica is a certified health coach, and adoptive mom of three who, after struggling with her own adoptive parent burn out, created Root and Revive Wellness to help other adoptive moms become more centered and confident in their parenting role. She offers one-on-one coaching sessions to help adoptive parents navigate the daily challenges of life with a trauma informed lens and parent from a more grounded place. In this episode we discuss: Adoptive parent challenges in the early stages. Attachment & bonding with your adopted child. The importance of understanding trauma in adoption. Adoptive parent guilt. Links mentioned in this episode: Root and Revive Wellness Attachment style quiz Katie Byron, "Loving What Is" List of 12 Activities Parents can do with their child to help Strengthen the Bond Sign up for Jessica's newsletter

In this episode of the Modern Adoption podcast, Erin & Jess dive into ethics in adoption…more specifically, the anatomy of an ethical adoption. As a team of adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoption professionals, trust us when we say that we understand the desire and longing to grow your family. But how far are you willing to go and what ethical lines are you willing to cross to become a parent? This episode might be hard to listen to, but it's an important conversation to have...we want to help your future self be part of an adoption story you're comfortable and confident in sharing one day. In this episode we get into: Has "ethical adoption" become a buzzword? Reasonable fees & expectations for adopting families. True choice for expectant moms. The importance of separate representation. Written post-adoption contact agreements. Pre and post adoption support for adopting families & expectant parents. Plus so much more!

In today's episode of the Modern Adoption podcast, Erin & Jess talk with Allison Whalen, Founder & CEO of Parentaly - a company on a mission to improve the parental leave experience for everyone. One of the first things we recommend prospective adoptive parents do when they decide to pursue adoption, is to ask about their employee benefits for family building and parental leave. Unfortunately, a lot of family building benefits aren’t inclusive or don’t allow for adequate parental leave for families who are adopting. As Allison mentions in today's episode, the best way to get your employer to step up their family building benefits game is to start a movement - so send them this episode and reach out to Allison at Parentaly or us at PairTree...we're happy to help. For free templates, resources, and tips on how to ask your employer to add Parentaly to their benefits toolkit, visit ⁠their website⁠ and be sure to check out Allison's podcast, The False Tradeoff. Need help talking to your employer about adding family building benefits? Let us help! Reach out to us or send your HR director our ⁠Unfertility Benefits⁠ info! To see where your employer ranks in workplace benefits, check out the Dave Thomas list of ⁠100 Best Adoption-Friendly Workplaces⁠.

At PairTree, we pride ourselves on providing a pathway to parenting for all people so we are really excited about today’s guest. In honor of Pride Month, we wanted to do an episode focusing on adoption and family building in the LGBTQ+ community. In this episode, we are joined by Heather Strickland, who is an Arizona attorney specializing in adoption and assisted reproduction. She is a fellow in the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys and prides herself on being an advocate for LGBTQ+ families on their family formation journey. We cover everything from what LGBTQ+ families should know about the adoption process, challenges that exist in the process, and unique situations that may arise. To connect with Heather, you can visit her at MyersStrickland.

In this episode, we want to have an honest and authentic (and definitely unfiltered) conversation about adopting after infertility — including what to consider, and how to navigate it. If you’re navigating adoption after infertility, we hope this conversation helps you feel more prepared on your journey, or more comfortable in saying you aren’t quite ready yet. Mentioned in this episode: Creating A Family course - Coming to Terms With Infertility Grief Before You Foster or Adopt

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and as the month comes to a close, we wanted to take some time and discuss the importance of self care for the adoption constellation. Adoption is a journey that never ends, for everyone involved, so it’s important to make sure you’re taking care of yourself no matter where you are on your adoption journey. In this episode we’re going to be sharing some self-care tips for adopting families, birth moms, and adoption professionals - from our own lived experiences. PairTree Adoption Specialist, Laurie Shelton, joins us today to share her perspective as an adoption professional of 25 years and share her journey of learning the importance of self-care and protecting your own peace as an adoption professional. Referenced Material: Self-Care Tools For Adoption Professionals Self-Care Tools For Adopting Families Knee to Knee Post-Placement Support Groups Adoptive Parent Support Groups Adoption Support Groups

In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Sara Silvestri to discuss some of the medical considerations while adopting, specifically prenatal exposure. Dr. Silvestri is a board certified pediatrician, and adoptive mom of 2. She uses her platform and business, The Adoption Doc to help educate adoptive families on the medical complexities of adoption such as prenatal exposure along with birth family medical and mental health history, among many other things. Just a reminder, nothing in this episode should be considered medical advice. To get in touch with Dr. Silvestri to book a 1:1 with her, you can find her at The Adoption Doc on Instagram, or email her at [email protected].

In this episode, we are joined by Gretchen Sisson, PhD and author of Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood. We’re going to be talking about Gretchen’s new book, her eye-opening research, and the importance of sharing a real and honest look at the birth parent perspective in adoption. Gretchen's research and subsequent book have been the subject of numerous articles such as: The Untold Stories of Birth Mothers, The Cut Why is the History of Adoption So Complicated, Dame Magazine Whom Does Adoption Really Serve?, The Nation

Today we are talking with one of our favorite attorneys, Liz Vaysman, about the legal aspects of family formation and how family building has changed in the last few years. We cover: Embryo Donation - what it is and could it be an option for your family Alabama IVF case Open Adoption Agreements - do they exist in embryo donation? Sidenote - we dive into the role of an attorney in the family-building process, and also talk about some of the big changes affecting IVF and embryo donation BUT nothing in this episode should be considered legal advice. If you're in NY or PA and need an adoption or ART attorney, you can find Liz at Vaysman Legal. To learn more about NCFA's legislative agenda and how to get involved, check out the National Council for Adoption's advocacy page.

March is Women’s History Month and we would be remiss if we didn’t talk about the story of adoption in women’s history. This episode is dedicated to the incredible women who have made it their mission to change adoption for the better. To learn more about the women we talked about in this episode: Ashley Mitchell - you can find Ashley on Instagram @bigtoughgirl or online at https://www.bigtoughgirl.com/ Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard - you can find Kelsey on Instagram @fromanothamotha and follow her advocacy work here. (Kelsey & Ashley also co-host Twisted Sisterhood - a podcast by birth moms, for birth moms.) Gabrielle Glaser - learn more about Gabrielle and find articles she's written or been featured in here. Gretchen Sisson - learn more about Gretchen and find more info about her research, articles she's written or been featured in here. Here are the books we talked about this episode: The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler American Baby by Gabrielle Glaser Relinquished by Gretchen Sisson Adoption Unfiltered by Sara Easterly, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, Lori Holden The Baby Market & The Children Money Can Buy by Anne Moody To find more of our must-read adoption books, be sure to check out The Ultimate Adoption Reading List.

In this episode we are joined by Allison Olson. Allison is an adoptee, adoptive mom, and author of the children’s books, “Surrounded by Love" and "Tell Me About My Friends Adoption." Today we’re talking about love in adoption and how Allison’s books can help you talk about adoption in your home. You can follow Allison on Instagram at @kidsbooksbyallisonolson and order her books on https://www.ouradoptionbooks.com/ If you're looking for the best books to include in your adoption library, check out our Ultimate Adoption Reading List, and Allison's list, An Adoptee's Top 14 Children's Adoption Books

Today, we’re joined by Audrey DeGraaf, Director of Family Network Adoption Center in California to discuss some big changes to adoption that went into effect this year. California Assembly Bill 120 Bans adoption facilitators from operating in California. Restricts the adoption professionals you can work with in California. Commonly Asked Questions About AB 120 Hoping to adopt in California? Learn more about Audrey and the Family Network Adoption Center!

Welcome to the Modern Adoption Podcast! In our first episode, we'll discuss some of the recent changes, developments, and perspective changes we've seen in private adoption, such as open adoption, policy changes, and the role technology plays in adoption. In this episode, we touched on some of the new federal legislation recently introduced. To learn more about these important bills, and how you can get involved and show your support, please visit the National Council for Adoption Action Center.