Mostly Grief

In the days after Kelly’s death, I had to do something I never imagined doing — write and deliver a eulogy for my wife.In this chapter, I share the story behind writing it, the people who helped me through those days, and the emotions that came with trying to summarize a life and a love that meant everything to me.This episode also includes the full eulogy I delivered at Kelly’s funeral.If this is your first episode, I’d recommend starting back at Chapter 1.

The days after Kelly’s death are filled with grief, chaos, family, and the impossible task of beginning a new life without her.In this chapter, I share the drive home from hospice, telling my children their mother died, the overwhelming support from friends and family, and the surreal experience of planning a funeral while still trying to process what happened.This is the beginning of learning how to live in a world that suddenly feels completely different.If this is your first episode, I’d recommend starting back at Chapter 1.

The worst day of my life.In this chapter, I share the final days at hospice, the last meaningful conversation I have with Kelly, and the moments leading up to her death.This is the story of saying goodbye — the waiting, the uncertainty, the family gathered together, and the moment a life ends while surrounded by love.If this is your first episode, I’d recommend starting back at Chapter 1.

When things start to change.In this chapter, I share how I begin to recognize the signs that the end is getting closer, and the questions that come with it.What starts as a search for understanding becomes something more personal, as the focus shifts to time, presence, and making sure I am there when it matters most.If this is your first episode, I’d recommend starting back at Chapter 1.

The holidays at hospice.In this chapter, I share what it’s like to balance family, routine, and reality during Christmas, and how quickly everything can change.A quiet routine begins to form, plans are made for one last holiday together, and then Covid disrupts it all.This is where time feels limited, priorities shift, and being present becomes everything.If this is your first episode, I’d recommend starting back at Chapter 1.

The move into hospice.In this chapter, I share what it’s like to arrive at Regional Hospice — the transition from hospital care, the environment, the people, and the unexpected feeling of comfort.This is where everything slows down, routines begin to form, and the focus turns fully to care, presence, and time together.If this is your first episode, I’d recommend starting back at Chapter 1.

The moment everything changes.In this chapter, I walk through the shift from treatment to comfort — what palliative care means, how quickly it all happens, and the reality of planning for what comes next.This is where conversations get harder, decisions get heavier, and the focus turns to making the most of the time that’s left.If this is your first episode, I’d recommend starting back at Chapter 1.

The final hospital visit before everything changed.In this chapter, I walk through the complications, the uncertainty, and the moment the plan starts to shift.What begins as another step in treatment quickly becomes something else.This is where hope and reality start to collide — and where the path forward becomes much harder to ignore.If you’re starting here, it’s best to go back and listen to Chapter 1 first.

As things progressed, everything became more complicated.In this chapter, I talk about the impact of steroids, trying to mark our wedding anniversary in the middle of it all, and what it meant when TPN became part of daily life.If you’re starting here, it’s best to go back and listen to Chapter 1 first.

Through everything, the kids were at the center of it all.In this chapter, I talk about what it was like trying to navigate everything as a parent — what they understood, what they didn’t, and how we tried to support them through it.If you’re starting here, it’s best to go back and listen to Chapter 1 first.

That summer is hard to remember clearly.In this chapter, I talk about what life looked like during that time — the days blending together, the uncertainty, and how everything started to feel a little out of focus.If you’re starting here, it’s best to go back and listen to Chapter 1 first.

After some time, things changed.In this chapter, I talk about finding out the cancer had come back — how we learned, what it meant, and how quickly everything shifted again.If you’re starting here, it’s best to go back and listen to Chapter 1 first.

After everything, the focus turns to recovery.In this chapter, I talk about what recovery looked like — physically, mentally, and how we started to adjust to life after treatment.If you’re starting here, it’s best to go back and listen to Chapter 1 first.

After the first surgery, there was more to be done.In this chapter, I talk through the second surgery — how it came together, what we were told, and what it felt like going through it again.If you’re starting here, it’s best to go back and listen to Chapter 1 first.

The next step was surgery.In this chapter, I walk through the lead-up to Kelly’s first surgery; the conversations, the expectations, and what it felt like heading into it.If you’re starting here, it’s best to go back and listen to Chapter 1 first.

After treatment, the focus shifts to recovery.In this chapter, I talk about what it looked like to let Kelly’s body heal — the waiting, the uncertainty, and the hope that things were moving in the right direction.If you’re starting here, it’s best to go back and listen to Chapter 1 first.

With a plan in place, treatment begins.In this chapter, I walk through the early days of treatment; what it involved, how Kelly responded, and what life started to look like as everything shifted around it.If you’re starting here, it’s best to go back and listen to Chapter 1 first.

Now that we had a diagnosis, the next step was figuring out what to do.In this chapter, I walk through the initial plan — the doctors, the decisions, and how we started to process what treatment was going to look like.If you’re starting here, it’s best to go back and listen to Chapter 1 first.

This is where everything starts.In this chapter, I walk through the day we found out Kelly had cancer — what we were told, what we didn’t understand yet, and how quickly everything changed.

An introduction to Mostly Grief. Full episodes begin April 21, 2026