My Mate Missed Marvel

Woof woof, I think I've had my fun, I'm off. I've been a dog, this is a podcast.

Woof woof, it's me the dog who does the descriptions. Lots of love to everyone who sent in big bags of bones. Everyone else needs to sort it out, seriously, bark bark. And remember, I want you to send me lots of bones in a big bag. I am seriously a dog.

Bark bark, I am a dog and I am doing the podcast descriptions now. Quick, send a big bag of bones! (to me) Woof. And remember, to send those bones pls. Thank you in advance for the big bag of bones. I am a dog.

Spiciest and most relevant take incoming. Kendrick > Drake. We are really brave for saying this. Also the film is good. And remember, if you ask Jack to contribute to the episode description advice, it will inevitably become a Lord of the Rings thing.

This week, two informed young men who definitely know what film we're watching watch the film we're watching. At least, they pretend to know what film we're watching. And that they're informed. It's a very funny joke that doesn't go on too long and at least the director and premise wouldn't have been the basis of a really interesting discussion. And remember, a valiant quality is the ability to find common ground with others. Just ask Legolas and Gimli.

Oh, they've just been Daredevil episodes, that isn't actually that confusing.

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever Spider-Man can. Spider-Man, yes he can, does whatever a Spider-Man can. Look out, seriously, look out, he is a spiderman. And remember, asking for help is a sign of strength. Frodo wouldn’t have gotten far without Sam.

Who!!?!??

We’re heading back to the galaxy to check in with our favourite band of lovable scamp-y misfit oddball goofball ragamuffins and probably learn about the importance of family and/or friendship. Quill has daddy issues and so should yooou! And remember, as we learnt from Boromir, it’snever too late to apologise.

Boy, what a strange ol' doctor that Benedorm Cumberbumble is. Will our two straight-laced, middle-of-the-road, average-Joe-and-Jacks be able to wrap their heads around the sheer wackiness of this magical adventure? Surely using an audio medium to describe a film which is known primarily for its visual effects won't cause them to lose their minds? Using a bunch of rhetorical questions in a description can't be played out and boring... right? And remember,  learning any skill makes you a better learner overall!

Where!?!!?

All the boys are back in town, but the boys are angry boys with each other and they're gonna do a fight. One of the boys is a panther and one of the boys is a spider who can do whatever a spider can and two of the boys are women well done Marvel how inclusive. And there are also two more boys who watch the film, they are us and they are boys. And remember, there is no such thing as good taste or bad taste. Enjoy what you enjoy and allow no one to make you feel bad about it!

Why!?!?

In this week's teeny tiny episode, we watch Ant-man! Jack makes his best pitch yet, and for some reason the singing is still sticking around. Before all of that though, we address it. Don't worry, we address it. And remember, meditation is very good for you. I don’t do it, but it definitely is.

How?!?

In honour of the AI that is Ultron, I will let the original AI - predictive text - write the rest of this description. In this episode, I think it was a good idea to do it and I was thinking of you. We are you in the UK or not. It was a good night and I was thinking of you to be honest with me and you are a good person to do it and you can get it on the way to the house. And remember, if you are buying five bananas but you tell the self checkout that it’s only four, the machine doesn’t know the difference. It’s a victimless crime and you get a free banana!

What!?

Two smoking hot beefcakes talk about the loveable misfit nerds played by the likes of Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana and Bradley Cooper - the Guardians of the Galaxy! There is too much singing, but that was to be expected so everything is okay don't worry calm down please don't worry just chill out deep breaths don't worry everything will be alright as long as you just don't worry about it. And remember, brevity is the soul of wit!

Psst. Hey. Yeah, you. Shhhh! Don't be so obvious about it. I've got the package, as agreed. It's all there. One podcast of premium second Captain America film chat. Oh, don't worry, I've added in a bit of The Eternals, don't you worry. And remember, as you get older, doing just five minutes of stretching in the morning can make a world of difference.

This week we watch Thor: The Dark World. Further details can be found within the episode. We will not be taking any questions at this time. And remember, your current account will often reduce the amount of interest it pays out in the hopes that you won’t go through the effort of changing bank accounts to get it back. Stay mobile to get the most out of your money!

As we all know, film series get better in direct correlation to the size of the number at the end of the title, and surely Iron Man 3 won't prove to be the exception to this rule? Oh wait, oh no, Iron Man 3, stop nooo! And remember, store bought packets of tortellini usually contain two servings, when eaten with a side salad. Consider trading one carb-heavy meal with two, healthier, tastier ones, by adding rocket, cherry tomatoes and balsamic dressing.

It's the end of Phase 1 and even Jack is a little bit excited. Joe is also excited but that's kind of a given. Who are the Avengers? Will Marvel stick the landing of their first ambitious cross-over film? Will Mark Ruffalo be able to fill the gargantuan shoes left by Edward Norton? These questions will all be answered during this week's episode! I mean, honestly, that last one doesn't need to be, it could be answered right now, of course he does. And remember, most people like the experience of being there for somebody. By sharing a problem with a friend or a loved one, you aren’t just helping yourself, but providing them with the pleasant feeling of being trusted, valued and helpful.

Welcome to Capta'Murica, he's the little boy with the big head and we're here too, he's a real heroic fella and he's getting up to all sorts of lolz in WW2ooooooo baby he's got a big muscles. And remember, the eight glasses of water a day advice is a myth! Just get into the habit of checking in with your body and drinking when you feel thirsty. Stay hydrated!

Come with us now on a journey through time and space to the land of the Mighty Thor. Well, not time, but space. Specifically, the land is called Asgard. Actually, some of it does take place in the past, so kind of time too, I take it back. And remember, with rising energy costs, a heated blanket can be a cost-effective way of staying cozy in cold weather, without having to heat the whole house!

After a forgettable venture into another character's film, the MCU scurries back to its comfort zone with Iron Man. The first one was surprisingly good, but will the sequel follow suit? Its Iron Man suit!!!?!1!! And remember, some countries’ guidelines advise eating more than five portions of fruit and vegetables every day! Aim for extra if you can!

Hooo boy, we're going to watch The Incredible Hulk this week - many people's pick for the absolute lowlight of the entire MCU. But will it be as bad as people say it is? Yes. Absolutely. It honestly might be worse. And, remember, make sure to nurture your gut's good bacteria. You are what you eat!

We find out about our courageous protagonists Jack and Joe and what they think about Marvel films. It starts off really good and on track and then they end up talking about the Eternals for like four minutes, it's really unclear why. I promise the core idea of the podcast is explained.

Welcome to a brand new, exciting, and entirely original podcast where two silly boys from England chat about a little known indie film franchise. For our first episode we chat about the fella who gets it all started - Mr. Ironman. Don't worry though, we still manage to squeeze in a bit of chat about the Eternals. And remember, always apply sunscreen during these hot weeks and months!