Nielsen Said No

The series finale of Teen Angel has Marty trying to get a date with Thirty's friend Nina by covering himself up with makeup to disguise the fact he's dead...no it doesn't make sense.

The second to the last episode of Teen Angel is Casey Bochamp centric as he tries and fails to unretire from armature baseball. We meet the Devil's cousin Nevil who is trying to throw a game between the Angles and the Devils while Not God Rod himself is actively cheating in the name of the lord.

In this episode Marty dies like 20 times after realizing that he can go back into time and change history. Steve dies, Pam too but all in all its a pretty lousy episode. There are so pretty funny moments and even a line of self reflections when the show writers see what we've all been force to witness.

So Marica is back but not really. We will learn that this episode was played out of order recorded before Marica got the axe as Steve's mom. Steve joins the theater group who are doing Mutiny on the Bounty and he gets the lead role performing directly after having an intervention calling out what others see as odd behavior when he is talking to Marty his guardian angel who he killed.

A horse jumped over a fence.

OK, so this episode of Teen Angel goes a bit off the grid. Turns out in real life the show's ratings were plummeting as well Maureen McCormick's reputation on the set so the Network decided to let her go as the lead's (Steve's) mom . They replace her with Steve and his sister Katie's dad who we've never met before as well as a grandpa character we also never met played by Jerry Van Dyke. All of this adds up to a scene of infamy between Not God Rod, Dead Marty and a fire hose of milk.

Steve starts playing chess again with Kenny in the chess club when a cute, alterna chick named Diane enters wanting him to show her some moves. The two set up a date but Steve can't go because Marcia has to take Fab Pam to the hospital because she's all bloaty and he has to watch his kid sister Katie. Marty changes one of Katie's toys real and she can't help but screw up Jordan's chances with Diane.

Steve is hanging out with Cool Guy Jordan a bunch after winning tickets to Bloodapallooza 4 and inviting him to join. Steve doesn't include Marty, his guardian angel who he killed in real life, as he says to many jokes and when Steve laughs to talks to Marty Jordan gets weirded out. Steve attempts to keep up with the avid sportsman Jordan but almost dies several times while doing so. During this podcast the commentators talk about their favorite No Doubt songs.

Is this the weakest episode yet of Teen Angel? We are not sure but it is chock full of cultural insensitivity even for the 90's. In this episode Steve's out of the picture father is unable to take Katie, Steve's sister, to a father-daughter outing so Steve accompanies her right after giving her one of Dead Marty's angel feathers. The feather's are able to grant wishes and the unknowing little girl wishes for all sorts of terrible things to come true.

In Episode 24 Steve make Marty (his guardian angel who he killed) give the voice of speech to a frog voiced by Tim Curry or he will be banish to hell. The frog is to be dissected and Dr. Frank is not OK with this. There seems to be a hint of a protest against animal cruelty by the writers of Teen Angel but the fact that they have given up on this project is quite evident even this early on.

In this podcast Nielsen Said No covers One Dog Night, the cross over Teen Angel episode where all the Friday-night, teen-sitcoms intersect meeting up to certain degrees. We get a Melissa Joan Hart appearance as Sabiana as well as Salem the cat both of which are probably the best part of the show. The rest is bad 70's dancing, suggested bestiality, and John Tesc.

Its spooky season here in real life and on Teen Angel as we are treated to the Halloween episode for this week. Steve is trying to take Jessica out but the heavens and Fab Pam keep screwing it up his chances. Marty tries to help after stealing arrows owned by Cupid while he was on the toilet doing god knows what. Havoc ensues and Hot Marica falls for Nitzke instead. It a mess and a story told about 1 million times before but do we complain? Yeah a bit but still we carry on providing valuable insight into this crap shack of a TV show.

Filmmaker Steve Dayton (Pop Punk Zombies, gIVE, Rubber Hits The Road) joins the cast to dive into the latest episode of Teen Angel where Dead Marty is conjuring up spirits to help Steve (not the filmmaker) get his homework done so he can go on dates and crap. Dee Snyder makes an appearance and asks his guardian angel to get him woman and touch his butt.

It seems the writers of this show have already given up only four episodes into this terrible show. Steve and Dead Marty are just a boring as ever reliving the same jokes and ideas as the other episode but somehow this one is even worse as we watch Steve join the wrestling team and then quit the wrestling team when he learns Dead Marty had been making him win matches the entire time.

Seth joins Nielsen Said No for the first time on episode three of Teen Angel where Dead Marty give Steve the power of song to woo a young woman in his choir group.

In episode 2 of Teen Angel Steve asks out Jessica, a cheerleader, to dinner and a movie. Jessica's horrible friend says that Steve is gross and not good enough for her. Marty overhears this (while being invisible) and takes the form of Jessica going on the date with Steve. At one point Marty becomes a bear and Cool Guy Jordan may have built a bong in shop class.

Nielsen Said No kicks off their second season with Teen Angel. The 90's flop that had alot of potential including talented writers, a capable cast, and a great timeslot but nothing could stop its untimely demise. Join the boys as they dig through each episode to find out why starting with the pilot where one of the main character dies in the first 5 minutes.

We finally made it! All sixteen episodes of Misfits of Science in the can (whatever that means). In this garbage fire of an episode we watch as the writers desperately attempt to make Hays out to be a nice guy who generally cares about people. Nothing can be further from the truth as he goes to prison for crimes against his country.

In this episode we meet Milt a wrestling wanna be who mistakenly believes that he has special powers (its really just Gloria). Watch as he takes on Gangster Wolf and the LA mob. There is a nine year old sociopath who steals the tires off the Fundea Sundea when Hays refuses to give him an ice cream. Also in this episode Hays is repulsive but that's every episode.

OH GOD ITS A CLIPS SHOW! But that's ok as we only have two more episodes after this one and then we can say we watched every episode of the failed Misfits of Science. Hays falls asleep and is whisked away to a bizzarro world where things are kinda different than before but not really...its kinda redundant. We see dorky Johnny B, Bitchy Ms. Nance, but nothing is comparable to dick slapping Big Dickie Stetmeyer. Buckle in or if you in an ice cream truck don't as this is going to tear "out your liver"!

Are you guys following along? If you are you'd know that its the basketball episode of Misfits of Science! Hays and El go undercover (sort of) to investigate either a cursed player or just a team throwing games and receiving brides. We meet Nick Cave or Nick Cave's Bass Player as he makes moves on the teenage Gloria (gross) and see Johnny B come to grips with his own mortality on a pool floaty. Either a great episode or the worst. Honestly its hard to tell with this show.

In this episode we meet Princess Isotoners the French, cat burglar who plays Johnny like a fool who will kill countless people to appease her wishes as well as buy hers hamburgers and ice cream sandwiches for breakfast. She is being chased by the shadowy Goatee who will stop at nothing to get the one thing he covets the most. Billy is in there too I guess.

Guess what? Andy's no longer dead. Moving on. The cast of Nielsen Said No are a bit torn if this was a so-so episode or an absolute crap fest. But regardless this week's episode is full of Russian spies and international gymnasts, and that's about it. Oh wait there is two unforgettable performances by Johnny's band El Oskar the Dude and I grantee you can't guess the songs but you can guess if they are good. They are not.

With a heavy heart we must once again announce the passing of our cohost and confidant Andy who we are pretty sure died on the way to record this podcast for real this time (we think). He would have wanted us to press on making podcasts covering terrible TV shows so we are. Misfits of Science episode 10 Grand Theft Bunny is garbage, as you would come to expect but does that stop us? No. Does our cohost's death slow us down? Not in the slightest. Have we lost any semblance of right and wrong? Maybe but while we ponder that please enjoy this episode.

OMG this episode has everything or is nothing? Not sure but the Misfits meet a possessed motorcycle mechanic and learn of his secret twin brother who has been kidnapped by an oil company wanting to stop him from producing a carburetor that would end fuel use or something. Its dumb.

Join along with the guys of Nielsen Said No as they inch their way through failed TV shows that only made it one season (or less). They are on episode eight entitled "Fumble On The One"of Misfits of Science where you'll meet Robot Brick the top secret, football hero who gets his arm chopped off by a chainsaw in the opening scene, travel to French Riviera, and even bare witness to a guest appearance of exploitation film superstar Sid Haig.

Well howdy partners. Buckeyed Jack and his posse wrangled another episode of this godforsaken show where the boys meet 'dem Old Boners who get super strength after eating mutant burger from outer space, Johnny does a roller-skating music video montage, and Kevin's dad from the Wonder Years tries to stop a nuclear melt down. Tarnation!

On episode 6 the boys of Nielson Said No get to meet a dolphin scientist and his dolphin buddy Donald as well as some drug smugglers who are trying to stop Donald from telling the authorities all he knows . Gloria is discovering her place in the world while Johnny B continues to only be able to express himself through violence. Hays is weirdly aloof to the happenings around him and Jane is still nowhere to be found.

OK. Not our greatest episode. Is that a good way to sell this? Probably not but this episode sucked so hard. We did get to meet the Creepy Rich Australian as well as Sewer Boy which is pretty awesome not to mention a live(ish) performance from Johnny B's band...maybe it is actually us that sucks and not the Misfits of Science? No I was right the first time. Onward.

The boys breakdown another episode of Misfits of Science this time episode 4 entitled "Lost Link". Come along as they discuss the nonsense of Hays' hairbrained plans, the pitiful way the team treats El, the murderous tendencies of Johnny, and the unique fashion choices of Gloria. Did we mention this episode has a tiger and space ships?

In the most unlikely of events, our fallen comrade and podcast cohost Andy rises from the dead after being assumed lost forever when his pearl diving excavation went horribly awry. He rejoins the show just in time to learn why Gloria was wearing those ridiculous cloths in the Mayan episode, what might have happen to the frozen man in the Deep Freeze episode, to what depths Hays is willing to go to offend everyone in his sight, and if there is life on Mars.

Having lost their cohost Andy in a fatal pearl diving accident the surviving members of Nielsen Said No carry on watching and discussing the 1985 action/comedy Misfits of Science. Nick, Phil, & Alex dive into (no pun intended) the second episode of this remarkably bad show dissecting its nuances, cast changes, musical choices, and plot developments.

Nielsen Said No is a watch-along comedy podcast reviewing failed TV shows digging into each episode before their inevitable failure. For the podcast's inaugural season the guys take on Misfits of Science a one season episodic mixing Sci-Fi and comedy starring a young Courtney Cox. Beginning and ending in 1985, Misfits is the perfect starting point for this new podcast.