NorthPoint Counseling Perspective

Send a textIn this powerful episode, host John Sternfels, LPC, a national board-certified counselor and founder of NorthPoint Professional Counseling, sheds light on the destructive psychological tactic known as gaslighting. This subtle form of emotional abuse distorts a person’s reality, often leaving them feeling confused, powerless, and emotionally isolated.John breaks down the core dynamics of gaslighting—how it works, why it’s used, and where it commonly shows up in relationships, particularly in the context of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. With clinical insight and real-life examples, he reveals how gaslighting erodes trust, reshapes truth, and manipulates the narrative to protect the abuser.This episode also provides a roadmap for healing: how to recognize the signs, rebuild your inner confidence, and reestablish emotional safety. Whether you're a partner, therapist, or survivor, John offers practical tools and compassionate wisdom to help you reclaim clarity and stand firm in truth.Join John Sternfels as he exposes the lies of gaslighting and empowers you to walk in truth, freedom, and healing.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textWhat does it take to raise strong, grounded, and emotionally healthy kids in today’s fast-paced, ever-changing world?In this powerful episode, John Sternfels gives us a sneak peek into his highly anticipated new book, Healthy Parenting: Preparing the Next Generation. With warmth, wisdom, and clinical insight, John unpacks what every parent needs to know to build a solid foundation for their children, one rooted in emotional resilience, spiritual depth, and relational connection.You’ll hear a real-life story, practical strategies, and timeless truths drawn from decades of counseling experience. From the importance of role modeling to the impact of early emotional experiences, John challenges parents to rethink what it means to lead their children with purpose, presence, and love.Whether you’re raising toddlers or guiding young adults, this episode will equip and encourage you to parent not just for today, but to prepare your child for a lifetime of thriving.Don't miss this conversation—it could reshape the way you parent.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this episode of NorthPoint Counseling Perspective, John Sternfels explores the foundational topic of attachment styles—how our early childhood experiences with parents /caregivers shape the way we connect, trust, and navigate intimacy in adulthood.John unpacks the four main attachment styles—Secure, Anxious (Preoccupied), Avoidant (Dismissive), and Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized)—offering his own, real-life example, psychological insight, and compassionate guidance to help listeners identify their own patterns.Whether you're struggling with relationship anxiety, emotional distance, or past trauma, this episode will help you:Understand the roots of your attachment styleRecognize how it affects your current relationshipsDiscover practical steps toward healing and growthIf you're ready to deepen your self-awareness and take the next step toward emotional security and connection, this episode is a must-listen.Need support on your journey? Visit www.northpoint-counseling.com or call us at 248.773.8440 to connect with a therapist to learn more.Subscribe, share, and join us as we explore what it means to heal, grow, and connect.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textAre you seeking a structured approach to restore healing, truth, and unity within your home? Then don’t miss this episode of NorthPoint Counseling Perspective, where we dive into the Family Impact Meeting — a powerful, guided therapeutic approach to help families begin conversations around broken trust, addiction recovery, or betrayal trauma.Hosted by John Sternfels, National Board-Certified Counselor, author, and clinical director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling, this episode unpacks:What a Family Impact Meeting isWhen it’s most helpful in the recovery and healing processHow it gives voice to loved ones affected by destructive behaviorsAnd how it sets the stage for rebuilding connection and accountabilityWhether you're a therapist, a recovering individual, a betrayed partner, or a family member seeking answers — this conversation will give you practical tools and hope for restoring your family relationships.Listen now and take the next step toward healing together!John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textHosted by John Sternfels, National Board-certified counselor, author, and clinical director of NorthPoint Professional Counseling, this episode dives deep into one of the most essential—and often misunderstood—tools in healing from betrayal: Why a Therapeutic Disclosure.John brings nearly two decades of experience helping individuals and couples navigate the pain of sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, and broken trust. In this episode, he explores:Why a Therapeutic DisclosureWhy Many Betraying Partners Become Hesitant To ComplyWhen it Should Take PlaceHow It Benefits Both the Disclosure and the Betrayed PartnerWhy Structured Disclosures Foster Genuine Healing and Rebuild Trust Whether you're the partner in pain, the one seeking to make amends, or a professional supporting others on this journey, this episode offers critical insights, practical steps, and compassionate guidance.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this episode of NorthPoint Counseling Perspective, host John Sternfels—a National Board-Certified Counselor, marriage therapist, and author—explores the power and purpose of a Couples' Weekly Check-In. This intentional practice can be a game-changer for couples looking to deepen connection, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy.John walks listeners through a successful weekly check-in structure, offering insight into how couples can create a safe space to reflect, share, and grow together. Whether you're navigating challenges or simply want to stay connected in the busyness of life, this episode provides practical tools to help your relationship thrive.You’ll discover:The five essential components of an effective weekly check-inHow to use empathy and active listening to foster emotional safetyTips for navigating tension or conflict during check-insExamples of real couples using this practice to transform their relationshipJoin John Sternfels as he equips couples with strategies that promote healing, connection, and lasting intimacy—one intentional conversation at a time.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this compelling episode, counselor and author John Sternfels explores the Therapeutic Marital Healing Separation Agreement—a structured, intentional approach to marital separation that prioritizes healing, emotional safety, and personal responsibility. Designed specifically for couples in crisis who desire clarity, growth, and the possibility of reconciliation, this agreement creates a framework that supports individual and relational healing rather than paving the way for divorce.John walks listeners through the key elements of the agreement, its therapeutic purpose, and how it differs from traditional separations or legal arrangements. He also addresses an overlooked crucial aspect: who this agreement is not for. The episode clarifies that this approach may not be appropriate for couples dealing with ongoing abuse, untreated addictions, or those unwilling to engage in honest therapeutic work.Whether you are a clinician, a spouse navigating betrayal or trauma, or someone seeking guidance through relational chaos, this episode offers clinical insight, practical tools, and hope for couples committed to healing with intention.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textHosted by John Sternfels, The Therapeutic Disclosure Process: A Path to Healing and Trust is a podcast dedicated to guiding individuals and couples through the complexities of therapeutic disclosure after relational betrayal. As a National Board-Certified Counselor (NCC) and the owner of NorthPoint Professional Counseling Inc., John brings his expertise in marriage restoration, sexual addiction recovery, and partner betrayal trauma to help listeners understand the role of disclosure in the healing journey.Why is Therapeutic Disclosure Important?When relational betrayal occurs—whether through infidelity, pornography use, or other forms of secrecy—the foundation of trust is shattered. The betrayed partner is often left feeling confused, unsafe, and emotionally devastated. In these moments, many unfaithful partners believe that withholding details or minimizing the truth will protect their spouse from further pain. However, partial truths and continued deception only deepen the wounds and make healing impossible.A structured, professionally guided disclosure is a crucial step toward true reconciliation and emotional restoration. Here’s why:✔️ Rebuilding Trust: Full transparency is essential for rebuilding trust. Betrayed partners need to know that their spouse is no longer hiding anything from them.✔️ Restoring Safety: Healing cannot begin in an environment of secrecy and dishonesty. Disclosure helps create a foundation of truth and emotional safety.✔️ Validating the Betrayed Partner’s Reality: Many betrayed partners struggle with gaslighting, self-doubt, and an inability to piece together what really happened. Disclosure helps validate their experiences and emotions.✔️ Preventing Future Triggers: Without a full understanding of the betrayal, a partner is left guessing, which can lead to unexpected triggers and ongoing distress. Knowing the whole truth allows for a more predictable healing process.✔️ Allowing for True Forgiveness and Healing: Forgiveness cannot be forced or rushed. However, it becomes possible when the betrayer takes full accountability, shows genuine remorse, and commits to honesty moving forward.Who is This Podcast For?✔️ Betrayed partners seeking truth, validation, and healing ✔️ Individuals who have betrayed their spouse and want to rebuild trust ✔️ Couples looking for guidance in navigating full disclosure ✔️ Therapists and professionals wanting deeper insights into the processThis episode of The Therapeutic Disclosure Process provides insightful guidance, practical steps, and encouragement to help individuals and couples move forward with clarity and confidence.Tune in and take the next step toward healing and trust.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textSex. It’s everywhere—on our screens, in our culture, and shaping how we think about relationships, identity, and intimacy. But with so many competing voices—secular ideologies, cultural relativism, and biblical truth—how do we separate fact from fiction?In this eye-opening episode, counselor and author John Sternfels explores his upcoming book, SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural, or Biblical?  He will tackle the tough questions:How has modern culture redefined sex, and what’s the impact on relationships?What messages are we absorbing—consciously or not—from secular and relativistic perspectives?How does biblical truth offer a countercultural approach to sex, intimacy, and human connection?This isn’t just another conversation about sex—it’s a deep dive into the narratives shaping our world and our hearts. Whether you’re searching for clarity, healing, or a stronger biblical foundation, this discussion will challenge what you think you know and offer a refreshing, truth-centered perspective. Don’t miss it!Join John and tune in for an engaging discussion that cuts through the noise and gets to the heart of one of the most debated topics of our time.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this episode, counselor and author, John Sternfels will dive into the complex and often misunderstood topic of codependency in marriage. Many couples struggle with unhealthy relational patterns where one partner becomes overly reliant on the other for emotional validation, self-worth, or decision-making. This imbalance can lead to resentment, anxiety, and a loss of individual identity.Join John as he will explore:✔️ What codependency looks like in a marriage✔️ How past wounds and childhood experiences can contribute to codependent        behaviors✔️ Practical steps to establish healthy emotional boundaries✔️ Strategies for fostering mutual respect, trust, and individual growthWhether you're in a codependent relationship or want to strengthen your marriage, this episode will provide insight, tools, and hope for creating a healthier, more fulfilling connection with your spouse.Tune in now and take the first step toward breaking free from codependency!John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this episode, counselor and author, John Sternfels introduces his new book, "DOWNLOAD For Parents." DOWNLOAD is a crucial guide for today’s parents navigating the digital world with their children. Technology has transformed how our kids interact, learn, and socialize. Still, it has also introduced new challenges—exposure to harmful content, screen addiction, and online dangers that many parents feel unprepared to handle.DOWNLOAD For Parents is designed to equip parents and grandparents, with the knowledge and tools to safeguard their children from digital pitfalls while fostering open, honest conversations about online behavior. In this discussion, I break down what every parent needs to know, including:✅ The impact of excessive screen time on mental health✅ How to talk to kids about digital safety without fear-based tactics✅ Strategies for setting healthy boundaries with technology✅ The role of parental modeling in shaping digital habitsIf you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the fast-changing online world and want to protect your child without stifling their growth, this episode—and my new book—is for you. Let’s navigate this digital landscape together!DOWNLOAD For Parents is available now—get your copy today at Amazon or any other major book retailer.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textBehind The Smile by John Sternfels and Melissa Roberts is a real-life story of how one of John's clients, Melissa Roberts, overcame the horrors of being abused, traumatized, and sexually betrayed. As a result, Melissa experienced many psychological complexities, often behind a facade of happiness.The book is designed to offer readers a deeper understanding of the disconnect between the external image people project and their internal realities. Sternfels and Roberts guide readers on a journey to uncover the truth behind their own smiles, encouraging them to confront unresolved emotions and heal from past wounds. Together they provide practical tools and strategies for fostering authenticity in relationships, building trust, and achieving genuine emotional intimacy.Behind The Smile is not just a book for those struggling with personal issues; it’s also a valuable resource for therapists, counselors, and anyone interested in understanding the deeper aspects of human behavior and emotional health. Sternfels and Roberts's empathetic approach and clear, accessible writing make this book a transformative guide for anyone seeking to live a more authentic and fulfilled life.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this podcast, counselor and author, John Sternfels examines the complexities of gender identity and gender dysphoria in children and adolescents. John discusses from a Christian perspective, how to discuss this complex topic with children in a sensitive and informed manner.Talking to children who struggle with gender identity and gender dysphoria challenges requires sensitivity, openness, and support.  By approaching the conversation with empathy, respect, and a willingness to understand, parents can play a crucial role in supporting their children through their gender identity journey. John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textA Comprehensive Examination of Mental HealthIntroductionCounselor and author, John Sternfels, discusses the importance of mental health.  Mental health encompasses emotional, psychological, and social well-being, influencing how individuals think, feel, and act. It affects daily functioning, relationships, and physical health. Mental health is not merely the absence of mental illness but also involves the presence of positive characteristics such as resilience, self-esteem, and the ability to manage stress.Historical ContextHistorically, mental health has been misunderstood and stigmatized. Early civilizations often attributed mental disorders to supernatural forces, leading to inhumane treatments. The 19th and 20th centuries saw the emergence of more scientific approaches, with the development of psychiatry and psychology as distinct fields. The deinstitutionalization movement of the mid-20th century aimed to improve care by closing large psychiatric hospitals and emphasizing community-based services.Current UnderstandingToday, mental health is recognized as a critical aspect of overall health. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines mental health as a state of well-being where individuals realize their abilities, cope with normal life stresses, work productively, and contribute to their community.Challenges and BarriersDespite advances in understanding and treatment, several challenges remain:Stigma: Societal stigma can prevent individuals from seeking help and can negatively affect their self-esteem and recovery.Access to Care: There is a significant disparity in the availability of mental health services, particularly in low-income and rural areas.Integration with General Healthcare: Mental health care is often siloed from general health care, despite the interconnection between mental and physical health.Future DirectionsThe future of mental health care lies in integrated, personalized approaches. Advances in neuroscience and genetics hold promise for more targeted treatments. Public health initiatives must focus on reducing stigma, improving access to care, and promoting mental health literacy. Additionally, technology, including telemedicine and digital mental health tools, can expand access to services and support.Meditation for Mental Self-CareMeditation is a powerful tool for mental self-care, promoting relaxation, reducing stress, and enhancing overall well-being. By incorporating meditation into daily routines, individuals can foster a greater sense of peace and mental clarity. Meditation is a valuable practice for mental self-care, offering numerous benefits for emotional health, stress reduction, and overall well-being. By incorporating various meditation techniques into daily routines, individuals can cultivate a more mindful, peaceful, and resilient mindset. ConclusionMental health is a vital component of overall well-being, influencing all aspects of life. Understanding its complexities and addressing the challenges associated with mental health disorders requires a comprehensive, compassionate approach. John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels will dive into the core of human connection, exploring the transformative power of understanding, compassion, and shared emotions through empathy.Empathy, often hailed as the glue that binds us together, is more than just a buzzword. It's the force that bridges gaps, dismantles barriers, and fosters a sense of unity in an ever-evolving world.Join me as I help navigate the nuances of empathy, discussing its impact on personal growth, mental well-being, and the broader social fabric. I will help shed light on how empathy serves as a catalyst for positive change.From the workplace to our personal lives, empathy emerges as a guiding light, prompting us to see beyond ourselves and embrace the diverse narratives that make up our shared human experience. Together, let's explore practical ways to cultivate empathy in our daily lives and make a lasting difference in the lives of those around us.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses the topic of fear. Fear, an emotion deeply embedded in the human experience, has been a subject of fascination, analysis, and debate throughout history. As a multifaceted phenomenon, fear touches upon various aspects of our lives, influencing our decisions, shaping our perceptions, and even steering the course of societies. Introducing fear as a topic of discussion is not merely an exploration of an emotion but an invitation to unravel the intricate layers that compose this complex terrain. At its core, fear is a primal and adaptive response that has evolved to ensure survival. It manifests in diverse forms, ranging from instinctual fears like the fear of danger or predators to more complex, nuanced fears such as existential anxieties and societal phobias. In essence, fear acts as a powerful force that permeates our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions.Introducing fear as a topic of discussion is an exploration that transcends the boundaries of individual emotions, reaching into the realms of psychology, culture, society, and personal development. By engaging in thoughtful conversations about fear, we embark on a journey of self-discovery and societal introspection, fostering empathy and understanding and perhaps uncovering the key to unlocking the potential for growth and transformation.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses Toxic shame. Toxic shame is a pervasive and enduring form of shame that can significantly impact one's quality of life. It is consciously transferred by means of shaming rules and can be deeply ingrained in one's sense of self, leading to constant exposure of the failure of the self to the self. Toxic shame is often driven by the fear of being exposed or rejected, leading individuals to develop perfectionistic tendencies as a defense mechanism to mask their insecurities and feelings of unworthiness.This can manifest as a relentless inner critic, difficulty in establishing boundaries, and a constant pursuit of perfection to avoid potential rejection.The interconnection between toxic shame and perfectionism lies in the individual's efforts to cope with and conceal their deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness through the pursuit of unattainable standards and the fear of being exposed or rejected.To help overcome toxic shame and perfectionism, it is important to recognize and address the underlying emotional and psychological factors. Here are some strategies that can help:Overcoming Toxic Shame:Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion and challenge shame-based thoughts. Recognize that you are not defined by past mistakes or shortcomings.Therapy: Consider seeking the support of a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore and heal from toxic shame.Establishing Boundaries: Work on setting healthy boundaries and asserting your needs to avoid potential rejection.Coping Techniques: Learn and practice coping techniques to reframe emotions associated with shame. This may include mindfulness, self-care, and positive self-talk.Overcoming Perfectionism:Redefine Success: Shift the focus from unattainable perfection to personal growth and learning from mistakes.Embrace Vulnerability: Recognize that vulnerability is a strength and allows for genuine connections with others.Seeking Support: Engage in open conversations with trusted individuals about your struggles with perfectionism. This can help you gain perspective and support.Challenge All-or-Nothing Thinking: Practice challenging black-and-white thinking patterns and embrace the concept of progress over perfection.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses Marriage, Now What? Marriage, Now What?  encapsulates the sentiment many couples experience after the initial excitement of marriage settles. It's a reflective phase where partners may ponder the direction of their relationship. This question invites couples to embrace the evolving nature of their union and actively shape its trajectory.In this phase, couples can explore shared goals, set new aspirations, and deepen their connection through effective communication. It's an opportunity to assess individual and collective growth, adapting to life's changes. Date nights, open conversations, and continued emotional and physical intimacy play pivotal roles in sustaining a vibrant and fulfilling marriage.Financial planning, shared responsibilities, and a commitment to mutual support contribute to the stability of the partnership. Celebrating milestones and expressing gratitude become habits that reinforce the positive aspects of the relationship. Couples may embark on new adventures, encouraging each other to pursue dreams and aspirations.Navigating conflicts with resilience and finding constructive solutions become essential skills. This phase encourages couples to renew their commitment, fostering a sense of dedication and love. Ultimately, "Marriage, Now What?" is an invitation to actively shape and invest in the ongoing journey of shared growth, creating a resilient and enduring foundation for a lasting and meaningful marriage. John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses children and social media. Children and social media have become inseparable in today's digital age. As technology advances, more kids are gaining access to various social media platforms at increasingly younger ages. While social media offers opportunities for communication, creativity, and learning, it also raises concerns about the potential risks and impacts on children's well-being.On the positive side, social media can enhance children's social skills by allowing them to connect with peers, share experiences, and express themselves creatively. It can also serve as a valuable educational tool, providing access to a wealth of information and resources.However, the downside involves potential exposure to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, and privacy issues. Children may encounter harmful material or engage in risky behaviors online. Moreover, the addictive nature of social media can contribute to issues such as sleep disturbances and a negative impact on mental health.Parents, caregivers, and grandparents play a crucial role in managing children's social media usage. Establishing age-appropriate guidelines, discussing online safety, and monitoring online activities are essential steps to ensure a healthy relationship between children and social media. Education about responsible online behavior, critical thinking, and digital literacy is key in empowering children to navigate the digital world safely.In summary, integrating children and social media comes with benefits and challenges. Striking a balance between leveraging the positive aspects and mitigating potential risks requires active involvement from parents, educators, and the broader community to promote a healthy and safe online environment for children.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses Polygraphs, also known as lie detectors. Polygraphs are instruments used to measure physiological responses associated with truthfulness or deception. The primary purpose of a polygraph test is to assess whether a person is being truthful or deceptive in their responses to a set of questions.Here are some key components and principles associated with polygraph examinations:Physiological Measurements:Heart Rate: Polygraphs measure changes in heart rate using an electrocardiogram (ECG) to monitor the heartbeat.Respiration Rate: A pneumograph tracks the rate and depth of breathing.Galvanic Skin Response (GSR): Electrodermal activity is measured to assess changes in skin conductance, which can indicate emotional arousal.Test Procedure:During a polygraph examination, a person is asked a series of questions while the polygraph records physiological responses.The test typically involves a pre-test interview to establish baseline readings and discuss the questions that will be asked.Relevant, irrelevant, and control questions are used to assess reactions. Relevant questions relate to the issue being investigated, while irrelevant questions are unrelated.Scoring and Interpretation:Polygraph examiners analyze the physiological data to identify significant changes associated with deceptive or truthful responses.The examiner interprets the results based on patterns of physiological responses.It's important to note that the accuracy and reliability of polygraph results have been a subject of debate among experts.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this episode, counselor and author John Sternfels discusses partner betrayal trauma. Partner Betrayal Trauma refers to the emotional, psychological, financial, spiritual,  and relational distress experienced by an individual when their partner engages in actions that violate trust and betray the core values of the relationship. This type of trauma often arises from infidelity, deception, or other forms of betrayal within a romantic relationship.Critical components of partner betrayal trauma include:Trust Violation: The betrayed partner experiences a breach of trust, a fundamental element of a healthy relationship. Trust is essential for emotional intimacy and the stability of the partnership.Emotional Impact: Betrayal trauma can lead to intense and overwhelming emotional reactions. The betrayed partner may experience feelings of shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, anxiety, and profound hurt.Cognitive Distress: The betrayed individual may struggle with intrusive thoughts, rumination, and a sense of cognitive dissonance as they try to reconcile the actions of their partner with their expectations and beliefs about the relationship.Impact on Self-Esteem: Betrayal can significantly impact the betrayed partner's self-esteem and self-worth. They may question their adequacy, attractiveness, and value within the relationship.Changes in Relationship Dynamics: The revelation of betrayal can alter the dynamics of the relationship. Communication may break down, and rebuilding trust becomes a challenging process. The betrayed partner may also struggle with forgiveness issues and the ability to move forward.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this podcast, counselor and author John Sternfels will discuss sexual addiction, also known as hypersexuality or compulsive sexual behavior, and the 30-Task model of recovery."Like an alcoholic unable to stop drinking, sexual addicts are unable to stop their self-destructive sexual behavior. Family breakups, financial disasters, loss of jobs, and risk to life are the painful themes of their stories."Sex addicts come from all walks of life - they may be ministers, physicians, homemakers, factory workers, salespersons, secretaries, clerks, accountants, therapists, dentists, politicians, or executives, to name just a few examples. Most were abused as children - sexually, physically, and emotionally. The majority grew up in families in which addiction already flourished, including alcoholism, compulsive eating, and compulsive gambling. Most grapple with other addictions as well, but they find sex addiction the most difficult to stop. Much hope nevertheless exists for these people with an addiction and their families. Sex addicts have shown an ability to transform a life of self-destruction into a life of self-care, a life in chaos and despair into one of confidence and peace."  - Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. Author of Out of the Shadows Furthermore, sexual addiction is defined as any sexually related, compulsive behavior that interferes with everyday living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones, and one's work environment. Sexual addiction has been called sexual dependency and sexual compulsivity. By any name, it is a compulsive behavior that completely dominates the addict's life. Sexual addicts make sex a priority more important than family, friends, and work. Sex becomes the organizing principle of addict's lives. They are willing to sacrifice what they cherish most to preserve and continue their unhealthy behavior.Dr. Patrick Carnes estimates three to six percent of the population is facing sexual addiction. It remains unclear whether one gender has a higher incidence of sexual addiction than the other. Research by Dr. Carnes shows that approximately 20 - 25% of all patients who seek help for sexual dependency are women. (This same male-female ratio is found among those recovering from alcohol addiction, drug addiction, and pathological gambling.)Treatment for individuals struggling with problematic sexual behaviors may involve psychotherapy, support groups, and sometimes medication. - Source: SexHelp.comJohn Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this week's podcast, counselor and author John Sternfels shares the importance of Healthy Parenting. Healthy parenting is a multifaceted approach that involves providing emotional, physical, and cognitive support to foster a child's overall well-being and development. It goes beyond meeting basic needs and extends into creating a nurturing and positive environment that promotes a child's growth, self-esteem, and resilience.It is an ongoing process that evolves with the changing needs of both parents and children. By fostering a supportive and loving environment, promoting open communication, and embracing adaptability, parents can contribute significantly to their child's holistic development. Remember that no parent is perfect, and learning from successes and challenges is integral to the parenting journey.In today’s podcast, I will share a basic understanding of the 12 key aspects of Healthy Parenting.1. The first is Emotional Connection2. The second is Communication3. The third is Setting Boundaries4. The fourth is Positive Role Modeling5. The fifth is Promoting Independence6. The sixth is Physical Health7. The seventh is Emotional Regulation8. The eighth is Educational Support9. The ninth is Quality Time10. The tenth is Flexibility and Adaptability11. The eleventh is Encouragement and Positivity12. The twelfth is Cultural and Social AwarenessJohn Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives

Send a textIn this podcast, counselor and author, John Sternfels shares the importance of Healthy Parenting.The parent-child relationship is a fundamental and unique bond that plays a crucial role in shaping an individual's development and well-being. It is a complex interplay of emotions, responsibilities, and influence that evolves over time. This relationship typically begins with the birth of a child, but it extends far beyond infancy, shaping the individual throughout various stages of life.The parent-child relationship undergoes significant transformations during adolescence. Parents must navigate the delicate balance between granting autonomy and providing guidance as children assert their independence. Trust and mutual respect become paramount, and maintaining a supportive connection can positively impact a teenager's self-esteem and decision-making.John Sternfels, LPC, NCC, CSAT, CMAT, CCPS, C-SASIOwner/Clinical Director of NorthPoint Professional CounselingCounselor and AuthorBooks Available: A Partner's Guide To Truth & Healing Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal DOWNLOAD for Parents: Sex, Social Media, and Secrets SEX: Secular, Relativistic-Cultural or Biblical? Sex Across Perspectives