or we could talk about it

or we could talk about it: let’s talk boys! or to be more specific: how every time one finally likes me back, i suddenly want nothing to do with them.in this episode, i get curious about why that keeps happening — how i’ve confused attraction with the chase, why being liked can feel uncomfortable for me, and what it might actually say about how i see myself.so, lets talk about it, shall we?-meghan

or we could talk about it: today’s episode is… messy. even messier than usual. i’m a week late (sorry, hi 👋) because motivation has been basically nonexistent lately. in this one, i give an update on the job situation, what it’s been like starting accutane while also navigating possible EDS, and how that’s been colliding with physical therapy and everyday life. it’s a little chaotic, a little unfiltered, but i’m showing up anyway—because i think it’s important to share the imperfect stuff too.– meghan

or we could talk about it: this week’s episode is a mix of a life update + overthinking (classic). i catch you up on the date i mentioned last time and what it’s been like trying to date in utah, where religion always seems to be part of the equation (even though it’s not for me). i also get into the overwhelm of starting a second job, trying to juggle everything with chronic illnesses, and the reality of existing in a world that wasn’t designed for people like me.i somehow then end up sharing my thoughts on a tiktok where someone said it’s “egoistical” to have kids — and talk through all the feelings that came up around that.so in other words, just another week of figuring it out and talking about it.-meghan

or we could talk about it: this week, i’m done hiding behind the “everything will work out” safety net. i talk about realizing my episodes have been feeling a little too… robotic, why i’ve been stuck in old patterns even when i’m technically improving, and how i’m finally figuring out what a healthy middle ground looks like. basically—what happens when you stop waiting for life to fix itself and start noticing what you’re actually doing.-meghan

In this episode of Or We Could Talk About It, I get real about what it’s been like trying to post more consistently online—especially on TikTok. I share the mental back-and-forth that comes with low views vs. posts that did pretty well, how easy it is to tie numbers to your self-worth (even when you know better), and what I’ve been doing to stay motivated when I’ve felt stuck. I also talk about pushing through social anxiety to make it to the gym, applying to jobs, and all the small steps I’ve been taking to (hopefully—fingers crossed) finally break out of the endless loop I always seem to fall back into.In the second half, I go off on a tangent about ChatGPT (yes, I know I say it “ChatGBT” but I’m lazy) and AI—don’t ask me why lol. I talk about my hesitation with using it, the weird effects I’ve noticed in myself even after just a short time, and some what-ifs and lowkey conspiracies about how it might affect the future—especially the way we think, connect, and evolve. Basically just me thinking out loud and wondering what happens if we let tech start doing the heavy lifting for us.If you’ve ever felt weird about social media, addicted to your own content, or a little unsettled by how fast tech is moving—then same.-Meghan

In this episode of Or We Could Talk About It, I’m recording from Utah — I just moved here a few days ago, and I’m feeling… conflicted. Conflicted about my purpose, my identity, and whether or not this move was the right call. But it’s the one I made — so now I’m figuring out how to build something from here.I talk about the habits I’m trying to stay consistent with to support my mental health, and how hard that can be when you’re someone who struggles with consistency in general. I get into social anxiety, and how it adds layers of complexity to simple things like going to the gym, meeting people, or finding a job — things that seem so easy for everyone else.Even if it’s mostly me rambling, recording and posting is part of the habits I’m trying to build — including being consistent and putting myself out there.-Meghan

In this episode of Or We Could Talk About It, I open up about what the past year and a half has really looked like for me—and the truth is, I haven’t really been here. Life felt paused. I was stuck in memories while the world kept moving. It was like being trapped in a one-dimensional prison, where time didn’t exist and I was the only one inside.Only in the last few months have I started to slowly reconnect—mind and body, still out of sync, but trying. And in that process, I realized: time didn’t stop just because I did. I’m a year older, and sometimes I barely recognize the person staring back at me.Dissociation is strange and powerful. Even more so, the brain is powerful. I’m still not sure whether to feel betrayed or grateful for how mine protected me. But if you’ve ever felt the grief, confusion, or disorientation of coming back after being mentally “gone,” this might sound familiar.All I know now is I want to make the most of the time I do have—and finally step back into the world. Because being here, really here, is something we take for granted way too often.— Meghan

In this episode of Or We Could Talk About It, I got good news. I found out there’s an apartment available — something I’ve been hoping for all year. But instead of feeling excited, my brain did what it always does: spiraled into what-ifs. Today, I try to make sense of that automatic reaction I have to good news, the overthinking that follows, and the deeper patterns I’ve started to notice in myself. No advice, no answers — just curiosity and honest thoughts about what it’s like to finally get what you want and still feel uneasy. Maybe awareness is the first step. Or maybe it’s just where I am right now.—Meghan

In this first episode of Or We Could Talk About It, I open up about something I’ve never really said out loud: What if the medication I’ve been on since I was 8 was never the solution—but part of the problem?I’ve spent the last few years trying to figure out why I constantly feel exhausted and drained—mentally, physically, all of it. I went to so many doctors, tried so many treatments, and none of it really helped. Then I started learning about how stimulants like Vyvanse can affect your adrenal system long-term… and I realized no one ever questioned the one thing I’d been on for over a decade. Now I’m slowly beginning to taper off of Vyvanse after 12 years, and while I don’t know for sure if it’s the root of everything, it’s made me rethink my entire health journey.This episode is just me talking through the process of getting to the answer. It’s not a straight line—it’s messy, a little all over the place, and honestly… I might ramble. But if you’ve ever been dismissed by doctors, questioned your diagnosis, or felt like you had to dig for the truth yourself, then I think you’ll get it.-Meghan